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| BITCHSLAP STATS |
| Movies Listed: |
24749 |
| Total Ratings: |
242619 |
| Total Reviews: |
25836 |
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| HANGOVER PART III, THE |
"Trilogy Of Terrible"
Peter Sobczynski says... "I found "The Hangover" to be a loathsome example of bully-boy comedy that was crude, sexist, stupid and filled with unlikable people either doing unpleasant things or having them done to them, though my objection was not so much that it was all of those things as it was that it failed to figure out a way of making them even slightly funny in the process. Seeing as how the film grossed nearly a half-billion dollars worldwide, it is safe to say that most of you a.) probably saw the film and b.) probably felt somewhat differently towards it than I did." (more)
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| KISS OF THE DAMNED |
"Bare bodies and bad blood."
Jay Seaver says... "Sexy vampires are a problematic sort of monster; it's very easy for someone telling a story of these creatures to forget that they are monsters at all, getting lost in the beauty and grandeur of these eternally young men and women from another, perhaps more genteel time. Or they go the route of the movies that clearly inspired Xan Cassavetes's "Kiss of the Damned", leaning far more heavily on the "sexy" than the "vampire". What makes this one perhaps more worth a watch than its skin-flick ancestors is that Cassavetes has her eye on what sort of monsters walk among the living as well as the dead." (more)
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| ICEMAN, THE |
"Definitely Not An X-Men Spinoff"
Eric Lefenfeld says... "While his roles have been more diverse than his reputation might suggest, Michael Shannon has become a poster child for playing emotionally closed-off men that are trying (and mostly failing) to keep the lid on an ever-festering mass of sociopathy. "The Iceman," based on the true story of Richard Kuklinksi, a seemingly mild-mannered family man who lead a decades-long double life as one of the mob’s most notorious hitmen, continues this trend of bug-eyed lunacy, and the always reliable Shannon gives it his all. It's too bad that his more-than-game performance is in service of an aimless and underwhelming script that, if anything, is proof positive that an effective crime drama needs to be rooted in something more than smatterings of violence and period-appropriate facial hair." (more)
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| STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS |
"A step down, but not enough of a mess to incur my Wrath."
Jay Seaver says... "The opening of "Star Trek Into Darkness" is everything I want from this new incarnation of the franchise: An adventure on a faraway planet that could happily be dropped into the original series except for the big, movie-scale stunts and effects. And while the filmmakers eventually pile on too much of what the series doesn't need, it remains fairly exciting for a good while." (more)
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| STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS |
"Into dumbness, more like."
Rob Gonsalves says... ""Star Trek Into Darkness" is such a brooding, portentous title for such a zippy goofball of a movie. Why "Into Darkness"? Probably because it sounds cool." (more)
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| BLACK ROCK |
"Interesting people involved in an average thriller."
Jay Seaver says... "When building a survival-in-the-wild thriller, most writers start with something like "Black Rock" and then add stuff - elaborate kills, extra plot twists, maybe some sort of weird backdrop. That's the usual path, but the makers of this movie come from an indie/minimalist background, so what they come up with is simple but quirky and kind of messy like their comedies and dramas. It's an odd combination of pro-grade talent and do-it-yourself technique." (more)
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| GREAT GATSBY, THE (2013) |
"Project X in 1922"
Daniel Kelly says... "Published the guts of a century ago in 1925, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “The Great Gatsby” has in the decades since been upheld as the very pinnacle of modern American literature. Operating as a roaring piece of escapism, an involving drama and pointed critique on the dangers of hedonism, “The Great Gatsby” is a marvellous work of fiction, thoroughly deserving of its high standing in the 20th century cultural pantheon. Several filmed adaptations have been attempted since the 1920s (most notably the sedate 1974 version penned by Francis Ford Coppola), but none have managed to fully compress all of Fitzgerald’s motifs and delicate stylistic touches into a unified cinematic product. Enter Baz Luhrmann. The flamboyant Australian may have initially seemed like an odd fit for Fitzgerald’s prose, but the film-maker uses his lust for excess to tremendous effect in “The Great Gatsby”. A sumptuous banquet of audio and visual treats, the adaptation delivers an incredibly immersive experience, thanks in no small part to strong casting and an intelligent preservation of the text’s key motifs." (more)
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| STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS |
"Spoilers ahead--you've been warned."
Brett Gallman says... "Upon witnessing the Enterprise’s recovery from a perilous situation in “Star Trek Into Darkness,” Zachary Quinto’s Mr. Spock remarks that there are no such thing as miracles. However, just four years ago, he practically starred in one—by nearly all means, J.J. Abrams’s reboot of the then-moribund “Trek” franchise was at least a minor miracle in its ability to not only resurrect the series but to also do so in spite of a weak script. With this follow-up, Abrams seems to have resigned himself to this business; this time, though, he’s less miracle-worker and more of a one-trick magician, and his powers aren’t quite as potent." (more)
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'DON'T CALL ME STUPID.'
- Otto, A Fish Called Wanda
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