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| BITCHSLAP STATS |
| Movies Listed: |
17816 |
| Total Ratings: |
215142 |
| Total Reviews: |
21766 |
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Do you like us? Prove it and be our friend at MySpace! (EFC and HBS)
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| QUANTUM OF SOLACE |
"What's the point?"
Rob Gonsalves says... "The best parts of "Quantum of Solace," the new James Bond film, are the stylized-as-usual opening credits, which promise a lush and explosive evening, and the familiar gun-barrel bit with the classic 007 theme at the end." (more)
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| QUANTUM OF SOLACE |
"007 meets his match in Marc Forster"
brianorndorf says... "The James Bond franchise isn’t known for its employment of top-tier action directors, but the series has made it this far with an agreeable roster of journeymen filmmakers. What I fail to understand is the hiring of Marc Forster to helm the 22nd installment, “Quantum of Solace.” Did I miss the kinetic mayhem of “Monster’s Ball?” The sexual electricity of “Finding Neverland?” The searing emotional complexity of “Stranger Than Fiction?” It floors me that Forster was even allowed to say the name James Bond in public, much less call the shots on this, one of the superspy’s lousiest outings. Yeah, yeah, I know: he’s good with actors. Well, good with actors with a terrible eye for action in a Bond film is a cocktail to be shaken, stirred, and immediately spit out." (more)
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| SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE |
"A cinematic triumph with all the right answers"
brianorndorf says... "Rarely has a film of such visual and narrative confidence come along quite like “Slumdog Millionaire.” Director Danny Boyle’s adaptation of the Vikas Swarup novel “Q and A” is a searing portrait of the human spirit, crafted with such harrowing scenes of peril and heart-wrenching effusion, it’s impossible to take your eyes off the screen. It’s a classic story of adversity told with outstanding passion and visual agility, and while it’s housed in a bleak setting populated with some truly vile characters, it’s almost guaranteed to soothe any viewer with a soft spot for beautifully sculpted contrivance." (more)
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| WE ARE WIZARDS |
"Harry Potter nerds, up close and personal"
brianorndorf says... "The documentary “We Are Wizards” opens with activist Carol Matriciana speaking candidly about the effect of the “Harry Potter” series on the malleable brains of children today. The outspoken woman believes “Potter” is a gateway drug to the occult, polluting the minds of the masses that have unknowingly opened themselves up to demonic suggestion, with younger devotees practically handing their future over to Satan with every passing chapter. If you take the remainder of this documentary to heart, it turns out “Harry Potter” might not be quite the harbinger of doom Matriciana would like to believe." (more)
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| FILTH AND WISDOM |
"Madonna should stay away from movie cameras"
brianorndorf says... "After all the damage Madonna has inflicted on the world with her acting, it’s amazing anyone would allow her the chance to actually direct a motion picture. The upside of “Filth and Wisdom” is that Madonna doesn’t make an appearance onscreen. That’s a huge upside. The downside is that “Filth” is under Madonna’s complete artistic control. She might be music royalty with a striking career of pop culture achievements, but she’s just not meant for big screen glory." (more)
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| QUANTUM OF SOLACE |
"Call him James Bourne, er, Jason Bond, wait no, call him James..."
Mel Valentin says... ""Quantum of Solace," the 22nd film in the James Bond franchise, but only the first sequel in the recently “rebooted” Bond universe, is also the first film in the franchise written and directed as a direct continuation of "Casino Royale." Even more action-focused than "Casino Royale," but more than thirty minutes shorter, "Quantum of Solace" depends on moviegoers recalling the events from "Casino Royale" to willingly follow the dramatic and emotional thread of a broken-hearted Bond seeking bloody, brutal revenge for the death of his lover, Vesper Lynd (Eve Green, seen here only in a brief flashback). That gambit, however, doesn’t quite pay off. While the action scenes are skillfully executed (if repetitive), they also hide a thin, Bourne-lite storyline involving the usual assortment of anonymous henchmen, duplicitous spymasters, and a super-secret organization bent on controlling the world’s natural resources." (more)
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| QUANTUM OF SOLACE |
"My Word, Not My Bond"
William Goss says... "“There’s something horribly efficient about you,” whispers a woman to her traveling companion, James Bond, and for the first time in this enduring superspy franchise, she’d be right." (more)
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| LET THE RIGHT ONE IN |
"The Little Girl Who Lived Down The Vein"
Peter Sobczynski says... "“Let the Right One In,” a new horror import from Sweden, is finally arriving in theaters in America after receiving rave reviews on the festival circuit over the last few months that have suggested that it may be the Next Big Thing for the genre. Having seen more than my share of hugely hyped horror titles over the years that have failed to live up to the advanced word spread by easily deluded fan boys hoping to get in on the ground floor of a new masterpiece, I sat down to watch it with more than a little trepidation--would it turn out to be a great film after all, along the lines of “May” or “The Host,” or would it turn out to be just another oversold dud along the lines of “Teeth”? Well, I am here to tell you that for once, all of the advance hype is not only accurate, it hardly begins to do the film justice--not only is this a great horror film, it is a great film period regardless of genre." (more)
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TRAILER MANIA AND REBOOTING THE STAR TREK FRANCHISE
by Mel Valentin |
| "This past weekend saw the release of "Quantum of Solace," the 22nd film in the recently rebooted James Bond franchise. The first trailer for J.J. Abrams ‘s ("Fringe," "Lost," "Mission Impossible III," "Alias," "Felicity," "Armageddon") eagerly anticipated reboot of the dormant "Star Trek" franchise also hit theaters (and, unsurprisingly, the internet as well through an uploaded cam version). Fans of the television series (a.k.a. “The Original Series” or “TOS”) were obviously anxious at what Abrams, a self-professed non-fan of "Star Trek: TOS", would do with their beloved characters and universe. Obviously, a trailer isn’t going to assuage those concerns, but looked at closely, it gives us an idea as to where Abrams wants to take the newly revamped franchise." (more) |
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MARK S. ALLEN - DON’T YOU HAVE A SOUL?
by Erik Childress |
| "At some point I’m going to have to go back to Rotten Tomatoes to see what the percentage is on the film, Soul Men. Because I’m utterly shocked. Weeks ago after seeing the film and baring witness to maybe (maybe) five barely audible snickers throughout its running time in the screening room, I knew at least two of my colleagues were joining me in condemning as one of the year’s worst films. A film so bad that not only was there a single star being dispensed between the three of us, one actually contemplated giving it negative stars. When I saw the following poster yesterday, I was flabbergasted. Not really surprised considering who was being quoted there, but just amazed to see any sort of praise coming from anyone but Shawn Edwards on this film. 45% at Rotten Tomatoes. Are we factoring in a 25% +/- passing away clause in this one for the loss of both Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes? Were certain critics so afraid to feel like they were somehow stepping on Bernie’s grave by dissing a film that makes Guess Who look like Do The Right Thing? They had no problems nailing that film when he was alive, but not that he’s been taken from us far too early, now is the time to praise him when he’s not even around to enjoy it. Claudia-Come-Lately-Puig from USA Today (named cause her quotes normally hit the papers on Saturday instead of Friday or earlier) liked this but panned Zack and Miri Make A Porno. No one would ever accuse her I guess of whoring for the Weinsteins, just having the worst possible taste in comedies ever. No – THESE are the whores." (more) |
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'DAMN. GONNA BE ANOTHER HOT ONE TODAY. SOMETIMES I DON'T EVEN WANT TO GET OUT OF BED. COURSE, I DON'T WANT TO GET OUT FOR THE COLD ONES NEITHER.'
- Darrell, U-Turn
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