by Ryan Arthur
Fixed the newel post.
‘Tis the season for the Sunday News Recap, Christmas Eve-Eve Edition, featuring the last seven days’ worth of reviews and features from the crew here at eFC/HBS. We’ll also run down the box office numbers for the weekend and prepare you for the week ahead. I’m Ryan, and Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?
”Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn; the clean, cool chill of the holiday air; and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.”
Reviews from our staff over the last week:
Wagner & Me
Rust And Bone
This Is 40
This Is 40
This Is 40
Want more reviews from a particular author? Click on the author's name. Want more reviews, regardless of author? Check out the database. Don't know what you want? Try searching the database.
”Save the neck for me, Clark.”
We've got new features from our staff as well:
The Sunday News Recap! 12.16.12
Tangents On A French Theme, Part III: Gamer Culture Does “The Three Musketeers”
You can access more features from a particular writer by clicking on his or her name. Want more features, coverage, interviews and the like? Click on the More option, found directly below the article title. Want more features, period? Check out the database. Don't know what you want? Try searching the database.
”We're gonna have the hap hap happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tapdanced with Danny fucking Kaye.”
Here is the preliminary top ten for the weekend. Estimates are taken from Box Office Mojo.com and are rounded up, where applicable.
1. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey $36.7 million ($149.9 million total)
2. Jack Reacher $15.6 million
3. This Is 40 $12.0 million
4. Rise Of The Guardians $5.9 million ($79.7 million total)
5. Lincoln $5.6 million ($116.8 million total)
6. The Guilt Trip $5.4 million ($7.2 million total)
7. Monsters, Inc. $5.0 million ($6.5 million total)
8. Skyfall $4.7 million ($279.9 million total)
9. Life Of Pi $3.8 million ($76.2 million total)
10. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-Part II $2.6 million ($281.6 million total)
”If this isn't the biggest bag-over-the-head, punch-in-the-face I ever got, GOD DAMN IT!”
Opening This Week:
Les Miserables (2012)
Promised Land (2012)
West Of Memphis
”WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell.”
Previewing the week ahead...
We've got more DVD and Blu-Ray recommendations in our Upcoming DVD Release Schedule.
Look for regular updates and additions in Criticwatch from Erik Childress on Friday, as well.
And hey, don't forget to visit the Contest page for your chance to win DVDs and other assorted movie-related swag from eFC/HBS.
We'll also have some additional features and editorials throughout the week, and I'll have your Recap ready to go on Sunday.
“She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don't know.”
The presents are under the tree, the fire’s roaring, and the Sunday News Recap is done. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah. Don’t forget, we’ll be back next Sunday with another edition of the Recap. You can always take a look at our previous Recaps and join and visit our forums, too. Thanks for reading, and as always, your feedback is appreciated.
link directly to this feature at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/feature.php?feature=3483
originally posted: 12/23/12 17:15:40
last updated: 12/23/12 17:17:14