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Overall Rating
2.35

Awesome: 13.95%
Worth A Look: 9.88%
Just Average: 13.95%
Pretty Crappy: 21.51%
Sucks40.7%

9 reviews, 118 user ratings


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Deep Impact
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by Rob Gonsalves

"It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel bored."
2 stars

I don't know whether to be annoyed or amused by filmmakers who don't know one of the fundamental laws of moviegoing: We go to different movies for different things, and we adjust our expectations (and sometimes our IQs) accordingly.

Someone attending The Lost World expecting a sobering analysis of human nature will be frustrated, as will someone who goes to The Sweet Hereafter expecting a couple of raptors to menace the kids in the schoolbus. Rare indeed is the artist/entertainer who can juggle convincing emotion and convincing CGI effects.

Deep Impact juggles so relentlessly that it seems positively schizo, giving us a little "character development" here and a little mini-disaster there, leading up to the big event -- death from above, the tidal waves and mass destruction, the skyscrapers scattering like petals. And good God, does this ever not work. You can feel the audience's impatience during the obligatory tedious dialogue scenes, the disappointment when the movie finally gets around to those big destruction scenes, which can't possibly live up to all the build-up and anticipation.

The new apocaflicks have the good fortune of boasting uniformly good casts, as opposed to the old ones back in the '70s, which mostly had one or two good actors (Gene Hackman or Paul Newman) and a lot of has-beens or TV stars. Here, Téa Leoni is nicely low-key as a reporter who pursues a government cover-up and trips over the biggest story in history: A comet the size of Mount Rushmore has made definite plans to visit us real soon. Morgan Freeman plays the President, whose sad job it is to break this epic bad news to his country, and Freeman has such strong, quiet authority that the noisy opening-night audience shut up whenever he spoke.

President Freeman sends up a crew of brave astronauts, headed by Robert Duvall, to land on the comet and plant nuclear explosives to blow it up into several million Earth-friendly pieces. This doesn't work; pretty much everything else they try doesn't work, either. It's during the walking-on-the-comet sequence that director Mimi Leder (The Peacemaker) has her finest moment: Due to a burst of "explosive outgassing" (sounds like Cartman after too many Cheesy Poofs), an astronaut is literally blown sky-high, and we get a view of the rapidly receding ground from his panicked point of view. It's a chilling, vertiginous moment.

Leder, working with a script credited to Michael Tolkin and Bruce Joel Rubin, can't do much with the alleged "human interest" scenes. Téa frets over the divorce of her parents (Vanessa Redgrave and Maximillian Schell), young astronomer Elijah Wood frets over his school sweetheart, Duvall frets over his crew, Freeman's performance is one long fret-fest. A serious movie could be made about characters taking stock of their lives in the face of apocalypse, but this isn't it. The characterization is TV-quality at best; everyone makes self-defining speeches to each other. A movie like Deep Impact may make you appreciate the no-nonsense sweat of Volcano or Twister, for me the two best recent apocaflicks because they didn't bother at all with plot -- the characters hurtled along, working as a team, racing against the clock, certainly never stopping to muse on the importance of family or paths not taken.

Disaster movies are trim and exciting or they're nothing, and 'Deep Impact' isn't trim or exciting.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=1&reviewer=416
originally posted: 01/11/07 21:30:34
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User Comments

8/18/15 Rob Why do so many people fail to notice that this film makes no sense? 2 stars
1/04/15 josh messier This review sucks. It was actually a good movie 4 stars
4/27/13 David So Rob thinks we shouldn't like this movie just cuz it goes above the bar he lowered? FU 5 stars
8/24/11 Robert Wonderful! One of the most emotional movies ever made. 5 stars
8/16/11 Machine Gun Tom Wished a comet smashed in the production set while it was being made! 1 stars
7/22/11 Cletus Black president? Never! Oh, wait... Anyway, good drama. I liked it 4 stars
3/16/10 PAUL SHORTT EXCITING AND SPECTACULAR 3 stars
11/07/09 wingnut CCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP 1 stars
9/30/08 Shaun Wallner Intense Action!! 5 stars
8/19/08 DJ Cant believe the negativity! This is a modern classic and near perfect movie! 5 stars
7/19/08 Boengaran Brilliant movie for smart people. For not-so-smart ones, watch Armageddon! 5 stars
5/10/08 mark madsen not very realalistic 2 stars
5/10/08 Bob Better than Armageddon but still pretty weak. Leoni = totally uninspired performance 2 stars
3/04/08 ladavies The last scens with Tea and her father just kills me. Pretty good movie. 4 stars
10/09/07 Ariadne Christina Renee Gladstone An example Morgan Freeman's good work, from before he started playing God. 5 stars
7/03/07 mb Good Movie 4 stars
4/24/07 captain dustin love the movie 5 stars
4/18/07 Stevo UK Oh look. America saves the world. Again. America is best. Again. America Rules. AGAIN. 1 stars
2/16/07 Vip Ebriega What a disaster movie must be. 3 stars
1/17/07 David Pollastrini great action 5 stars
11/06/06 Booksworm Armageddon and Deep Impact are BOTH TOTAL SHIT!!! 1 stars
3/09/06 Dk Armegeddon for those with IQs above 70 4 stars
8/18/05 Captain Craig All the ethnic mis-matches you expect from a Speilberg production 3 stars
8/17/05 ES It was a decent watch with a good cast and alright story 4 stars
8/12/05 Frenzy this sucks, very deep 1 stars
8/09/05 Fleetwood terribly, a load of complete bullshit 1 stars
4/25/05 E-FUNK Frodo subs a glowing sword for a motorcyle and ugly chick. On par with a venereal disease. 1 stars
1/23/05 Jeff Anderson MUCH, MUCH BETTER THAN ARMAGEDDON! STRONG ACTING ALL AROUND & A VERY HUMANISTIC STORY! 5 stars
10/12/04 Laura This movie was sooo touching!! 5 stars
9/06/04 Alex What are all these people sayin? It's a total tearjerker! 5 stars
8/13/04 Brandon Horrible, horrible movie; can't believe Ebert gave it 2.5 stars outta 5 1 stars
8/01/04 john bale No impact at all ! How did Duval, Freeman, and Regrave get into this drival. 1 stars
7/02/04 cinkcool bleh 1 stars
6/30/04 Hilal what is that ? i can't bleive that 5 stars
6/07/04 Heidi This movie was a bit hard to understand it kept bouncing from charector to charector. 2 stars
5/08/04 ANGELA CAUDILLO IT WAS REALLY COOL 5 stars
3/08/04 Blaine Holloway i thought is ok, although armageddon is better 3 stars
1/26/04 Kathleen It sucked! It was a complete ripoff of Armageddon. The director should have been sued 1 stars
1/24/04 Elena I don't care about anything else in the film except Elijah.i want to make sweet love to him 2 stars
12/08/03 john to beat Armageddon isn't all that hard but thi is a solid desaster picture 4 stars
9/20/03 Darryl I like it. 4 stars
3/30/03 sfghghfghg Great way better than Armeggedon, but not as good as the CORE 5 stars
3/25/03 Jack Sommersby "Armageddon" kicks this lousy piece of crap out of the universe. 1 stars
3/20/03 May Q. Horney Good. (unwittingly?) makes Leelee S's char. look dumb for not knowing what Megrez is? 4 stars
3/10/03 Joe Cool Better than Armageddon 3 stars
2/19/03 Dave Has some poignant moments, some nausiatingly corny, but it's leagues ahead of Armageddon. 3 stars
1/12/03 Jack Sommersby Sappy and predictable disaster flick. Leoni is overbearing; Duvall seriously slumming. 1 stars
12/21/02 Pigwidgeon Finally, a disaster movie that's NOT about macho derring-do! 5 stars
11/18/02 cinkcool Shitty 1 stars
11/10/02 Trinity I loved it 5 stars
11/10/02 Daniel I'm in the minority here, but I really like this movie! Far superior to Armageddon. 5 stars
11/09/02 Stevo Not that bad as disaster flicks go; shitloads better than Armageddon anyway. 4 stars
10/17/02 Charles Tatum The best of the two meteor flicks 5 stars
10/08/02 3man At least it was better than Armegeddon. 3 stars
9/29/02 Fuze44 Tea Leoni, why won't ya blow me? 4 stars
8/22/02 ito very good 2 stars
5/13/02 ghazt atallah please,get someone to fuch me,plsssssssssssss 5 stars
4/23/02 Danielle Ophelia So sugar-saturated you'll need to a whole pack of Carefree gum to survive. 1 stars
4/01/02 ghazi atallah nude pictures if possible 5 stars
3/05/02 Veronica Foxx -The Raven-Haired Temptress Glad I'm not the only one who thought it was a porno; has as much talent as a porno does 2. 1 stars
2/20/02 Xaver I can't believe I actually sat through this entire boring film. 1 stars
1/25/02 specialK skip to the last five minutes, but still lame 2 stars
1/05/02 Magnum Craphole One of the worst movies outta the worst year in cinema. Unwatchable disaster/melodrama. 1 stars
1/03/02 KMG Deep Impact was about a meteor? I thought it was Elijah's first porno! 2 stars
11/29/01 The $1.98 Pyramid Felt cheated to find only ONE tiny disaster. The rest is careless soap opera. 3 stars
8/28/01 Gary The dialogue, acting, characters and story are all terrible, corny bollocks. 1 stars
6/06/01 Dean - Deep Impact is PURE JUNK I CAN NOT accept a movie where politicians are responsible to choose who is going to live. 1 stars
5/01/01 GarboGirl Open your eyes and give it a chance! its gripping and moving 5 stars
4/28/01 Fuckface bum-and more bum. Elijah wood is a bum 2 stars
4/18/01 Tam Really, really boring. Tea Leoni is a deadpan lead. Solid SFX though. 2 stars
4/01/01 Jesse L Not bad. Not great. just ok. 3 stars
3/25/01 Monster W. Kung Armageddon was worse, but this is still unredeemingly, unabashedly, horrendously horrid. 1 stars
3/02/01 Egg36 Unfairly trashed. 4 stars
2/25/01 erland elijah wood is the best young actor ever. ARMAGEDDON pure fun,but D.I. also make you think 5 stars
2/18/01 *~Danielle*Ophelia~* (formerly KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi) Disaster movies went out of vogue in the late 70's. I guess these people missed it 3 stars
12/03/00 Cristopher Revilla what a fucking depressing shit, man. don't watch this fucktrash!!!! 1 stars
11/13/00 The EVIL Penguin nice tidal wave sequence; the rest sucks 2 stars
8/09/00 Terrie Smith Another "comet in your face" movie; better than "Armageddon" but what a waste. 3 stars
11/26/99 CATM Armageddon kicked ass, this was shit. Don't agree? Blow me. 1 stars
10/13/99 Lame-Oh Knock it off Hollywood, you're annoying the hell outta me. 1 stars
9/05/99 david it was okay 3 stars
7/23/99 Hagbard Celine Millions of people sit in their cars in gridlock and wait to be pulverized. Stupid. 1 stars
7/17/99 Ed Wood Could ANY movie as bad as Armageddon? Yes. This one. 1 stars
6/14/99 Dylan Better than Armageddon. 3 stars
6/02/99 kmk much better acting and writing than in that other asteroid movie. 4 stars
5/28/99 Ah Dooey abysmal movie 1 stars
2/01/99 CYaniDERuSH anyone who liked this movie should fuckin die a horrible death. fuck all of you 1 stars
1/31/99 Vick Di Brecci A good Twilight Zone episode unlike Armageddon 4 stars
1/02/99 Dasha I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. Boring characters. 3 stars
12/24/98 CYaniDERuSH pure fuckin crap. walked out after bout 30 min of this garbage 1 stars
11/24/98 Mr.Pink The end is the best part, because 50% of the cast dies, so even that was a dissapointment 1 stars
11/23/98 Lord Of The Dunce Okay, what's amazing to me is SOMEBODY actually thinks this piece of crap was awesome. Guh. 1 stars
11/01/98 Darkhero1 Great movie. Emotionally gripping and the action is powerful. 5 stars
9/26/98 katherine god, enough wih the astroid movies! but neways, it was ok 3 stars
9/20/98 MR HOLLYWOOD Emotion,Heart-Felt and Pure Genius,shame about the pace/acting & director!! 4 stars
9/15/98 Gamma Morgan Freeman for President! Only good thing about the flick. 2 stars
9/13/98 Chip Taylor Compared to ARMAGEDDON, ARMAGEDDON's BRAVEHEART. 1 stars
9/13/98 Como Erectus Some really underdone effects, and Tea Leoni is just plain awful. How did she get famous? 2 stars
9/12/98 loriann very good 5 stars
9/09/98 Bruce Willis' mama. Pushing suspension of disbelief a bit there. I mean, a black president? 1 stars
9/07/98 Robert C. While the acting stinks, the science was accurate (compared to Armagedddon, which stank) 3 stars
9/07/98 ARMA-FUCK'N-GEDDON Come on, no contest here....... 1 stars
9/05/98 BBReBozo Nude Tea Leoni would've equaled at least 2 stars. 1 stars
9/05/98 J Lyons Good movie. It faced a lot of competition this summer. 4 stars
9/03/98 Badass Basic and pointless. Still, it has more zest than ARMAGEDDON 3 stars
8/30/98 Drasord Poor character buildup, undeveloped story, jumps around unnecesarily. Tea is hot. 2 stars
8/28/98 hairy monster It wasn't so bad. Better than Armageddon 4 stars
8/27/98 Dov american crap 1 stars
8/24/98 The Capital City Goofball Please stop these disaster films. Please? 1 stars
8/23/98 PyThomas A real downer of a film... and I only saw part of it 2 stars
8/22/98 Mister Whoopee Big boom blow up stuff. Tea stupid. 1 stars
8/15/98 J-Guy It was sad when they wouldn't let the little baby in the caves. 3 stars
8/15/98 Johny Elijah Wood and Mimi Leder suck 2 stars
8/12/98 {{OZ}} Crap crap crap 1 stars
8/12/98 clark the astronauts sacraficed themselves. -sniff-. wait, i dont care. 2 stars
8/12/98 Rotten Milk I figure it's like Armageddon only without Affleck 2 stars
8/11/98 Beetchslarp How long does Tea's 15 minutes go for exactly? 2 stars
6/04/98 FrankG I didn't see this movie 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  08-May-1998 (PG-13)
  DVD: 05-Oct-2004

UK
  N/A

Australia
  18-Jun-1998 (M)




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