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Overall Rating
2

Awesome: 9.26%
Worth A Look: 11.11%
Just Average: 9.26%
Pretty Crappy: 11.11%
Sucks59.26%

3 reviews, 36 user ratings


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Without a Paddle
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by EricDSnider

"Never mind the paddle, there's no laughs or entertainment, either."
1 stars

You don't know the name Steven Brill, but you should. He's the reason so many movies suck. He wrote "Ready to Rumble," the atrocious David Arquette wrestling comedy from 2000, and he directed Adam Sandler in "Little Nicky" (which he also wrote) and "Mr. Deeds." His latest crime against humanity is "Without a Paddle," an unfunny, outrageously simple-minded adventure-comedy that irritates, offends and bores, all at once.

Check out the pedigree on this thing. Its absurd story is credited to three people: Fred Wolf (writer of "Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star," "Joe Dirt," "Dirty Work" and "Black Sheep"), Harris Goldberg (writer of "The Master of Disguise" and "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo") and Tom Nursall (writer of nothing you'd care about). Then the actual screenplay is by Jay Leggett and Mitch Rouse, who co-wrote (with Rouse directing) "Employee of the Month," one of the worst films to play at the Sundance Film Festival this year, or any year.

Anyway, everyone continues to do lousy work here, and they drag the usually enjoyable Seth Green and the potentially enjoyable Dax Shepard down with them. (Matthew Lillard, who rounds out the cast: Eh, this seems about right for him.) The three play lifelong friends who, upon the death of their fourth friend, decide they must, in his honor, embark on an Oregon river trip to find the lost treasure of D.B. Cooper (the man who parachuted out of a hijacked plane with a huge pile of stolen cash in 1971). Seems the late Billy had been compiling evidence and folklore up until his death, and had worked up a map that he thought would lead right to Cooper's landing point. What better way to celebrate the memory of a dead friend than to discover an old felon's stash?

A river trip through rural territory naturally means many (too many) references to "Deliverance," and "Without a Paddle" meets expectations in that regard. The rest of their adventures are typical of outdoor comedies. There's a lame encounter with a bear, who swallows their cell phone and later poops it out; run-ins with hillbillies and hunters; and a devastatingly tasteless scene with two gorgeous tree-hugger girls who keep their feces in brown lunch bags, which they subsequently drop on the heads of the redneck bad guys who are chasing the three friends.

Yes, this is the kind of movie where the centerpiece scene involves dropping poop on people's heads. If that doesn't discourage you from seeing it, I can't imagine anything else I can tell you will.

Shepard's character is named Tom, and he's the crazy, irresponsible friend. Green is Dan, the uptight businessman who needs to cut loose and have fun more often. Lillard is Jerry, the professional with the suffocating girlfriend whom he learns to appreciate in the movie's most inane, unnecessary subplot. You are the viewer, pummeled with tired jokes and zany situations, bored by yet another dreadful comedy.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=10400&reviewer=247
originally posted: 08/20/04 01:02:29
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User Comments

5/21/17 Anne Selby no comment am watching this now almost done thank goodness 1 stars
2/10/11 Jeff Wilder Truly godawful. 1 stars
7/20/10 art only good part was CHRISTINA MOORE and RACHEL BLANCHARD. 1 stars
2/08/09 Samantha Pruitt good for a cheap laugh, i always like Seth Green! 3 stars
1/19/09 Anonymous. one of the stupidest, unfunniest movies i've ever seen. :/ 1 stars
10/02/08 SB why was this released? 1 stars
6/20/08 PAUL SHORTT SO CRUDE THAT IT LEAVES A BITTER AFTERTASTE 1 stars
10/28/06 William Goss Seven shades of stupid, and as unfunny as all get out. 1 stars
5/18/06 drydock54321 kind of silly but fun 4 stars
3/30/06 Anthony Feor Not the worst movie i have seen this year 3 stars
12/29/05 tony Funny at parts, but not a movie i would see twice 2 stars
9/17/05 Bad Critic Better than I thought it would be. 3 stars
8/11/05 ES If you've seen the trailer, you've seenthe plot and the funny parts. Ah hollywood 2 stars
4/28/05 kathleen4691 Good mindless entertainment 3 stars
4/13/05 Joe Gates I think this movie was awesome, it is one of the best 5 stars
3/11/05 DONNA L MILLER IT WAS A VERY GOOD FAMILY MOVIE,FUNNY,TOUCHING, 4 stars
2/20/05 david basile exactly what you expect pretty funny 4 stars
2/01/05 Alice Colwell pretty funny 4 stars
1/29/05 bongeezer I like the Bear and Umm... I guess that's it. 2 stars
1/29/05 Caroline Cliche, cliche, cliche. Waste of time much? 2 stars
1/28/05 DONNA LONGWORTH FUNNY BUT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. 3 stars
1/17/05 Roy Smith Again City Slickers II with Seth Green as Billy Crystal. Bleh. 2 stars
1/15/05 Jeff Anderson Lame, botched, and totally unfunny film. A disaster in more ways than one. BAD! 1 stars
11/27/04 rachel i thought it was gr8 5 stars
11/07/04 Emily This movie rocked!! 5 stars
9/23/04 Heaven's Justice Tries to be a mix of stand by me, and road trip, but it's just plain sucks. 1 stars
9/13/04 Trusting Soul This was a silly, funny movie. 4 stars
9/12/04 Raf Aw, you all suck, that movie was hilarious. It sure was a hell of alot better than Mr.Deeds 5 stars
8/30/04 Jin Nah, it was just stupid. 1 stars
8/28/04 capitalbliss Complete waste of time, glad the tickets were free! 1 stars
8/24/04 Jessica It was funny, stupid funny, but funny 4 stars
8/23/04 Jamie It was better than the other big-budget crap that studios have released this summer 5 stars
8/21/04 rachel IT SUCKS 1 stars
8/20/04 McGraw What? Seth Green sucks?! When did this happen? Oh wait... 1 stars
8/20/04 derick love it cool and interesting 2 stars
8/20/04 Anthony G this movie sucks, isnt funny at all 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  20-Aug-2004 (PG-13)
  DVD: 11-Jan-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  18-Nov-2004




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