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Overall Rating
1.86

Awesome: 8.11%
Worth A Look: 10.81%
Just Average: 2.7%
Pretty Crappy: 16.22%
Sucks62.16%

3 reviews, 19 user ratings



Brown Bunny, The
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by Erik Childress

"Who Knew Chloe Sevigny Gave Such Good Head?"
2 stars

Movies can do their best to be notorious all by themselves, but it does no good unless someone starts talking about it. ďTHE WORST SCORE IN THE HISTORY OF CANNES!Ē screamed the headlines. ďROGER EBERT SHOULD GET CANCER IN HIS BUTT,Ē screamed the director. ďTHE COLONSCOPY WAS MORE ENTERTAINING THAN THE MOVIE,Ē screamed back Ebert. Yes, Vincent Galloís The Brown Bunny has become an instant punchline, one even used by TVís hip Gilmore Girls when they witnessed a ballet recital they believed could have been worse. And you know what? It probably was. With all the hoopla surrounding the film and its backalley whispers of awfulness, its no more-or-less pretentious than a truckload of auteur experiments. More during the first hour, less after the one scene everyone canít help but talk about.

Thereís very little to talk about The Brown Bunny other than that scene. It contains the crux of what Gallo was trying to accomplish and is the only moment when anything actually happens. Allow me if you will to put you into the mindset with The Journey of the Brown Bunny. Pay attention because there will be a test.

We open with a motorcycle race. Sound exciting? It isnít. Several minutes of watching guys race around trying to pass each other on a winding track over and over and over again. A metaphor for life, perhaps? Donít make that face at me. Remember this is an arthouse flick. Bud Clay (Gallo) is one of these professionals and has the appearance of someone you donít want to stand downwind of. Itís time for him to pack up his bike and drive to California for his next race. ROAD TRIP!!! Wait, donít get too excited.

Something is a little off about Bud Clay even if you donít have the press notes handy. Who else would ask the cashier at a convenience store to take the cross-country trip with him? Granted, sheís female and itís nice to have options. But sex-crazed fiends donít normally plead like a kid in a candy store. ďPleaseÖplease,Ē Bud ainít too proud to beg. His plea is granted putting to rest two stereotypes about women. (1) They like strong men and (2) They are the only ones allowed to change their minds.

OK, weíre about to do some more driving. Want to play the license plate game? Hey, that one says ďWernerĒ. Surprisingly enough it reminds me of David Warner as opposed to Werner Herzog. Why? Cause I like Tron, dammit! Never mind, letís drive some more pleaseÖplease. OH, Time Bandits was great too. Sorry, letís get back to the movie. Weíre stopping again.

Itís the parentsí house of Daisy Lemon (Chloe Sevigny), the girl they havenít seen in a long time and whom Bud claims to be living with. Look over there. Go on, look. Itís a brown bunny; Daisyís apparently. Thereís also a clock on the wall that doesnít seem to be moving. How prophetic. I see something on the stove over there. Wow, this movie is actually reading my thoughts. Itís a carving that says ďJesus

And weíre driving again. Into Ohio. Say, my dadís from there. Iíd love to go back to Kingís Island. Oh, oh, Vincent Ė I mean, Bud Ė can you hang a right and take the road marked 65 N. Chicago. Iíd really like to get back home now. I canít see out the windshield. Either heís got really crappy wipers or the camera lens sucks. Time to stop at a hotel. Maybe heíll take a shower. Awwww look, Budís sleeping. I think Iíll catch up on a few winks myself.

Ohh, football practice. Oh, just time to wake up. Wait Bud, you just slept. Why are you stopping at a rest area? So you can make out with Cheryl Tiegs? Fair enough, just asking. Did you know that bunny rabbits only live for 5 or 6 years? I didnít. That makes me sad. Exactly how old is Daisyís bunny then? Letís see, Bud is eating. Now heís peeing. Gotta admit these are all great suggestions of things you could be doing other than watching this film.

Checking the watch. 35 minutes. To go? Nope. Passed. Time for more sleepy. Yay, heís showering. Yo Bud, you didnít dry yourself off too good. There are puddle spots all over your shirt. First thing I do after taking a good shower is head off to the dusty desert too. If you look left you can see Matt Damon and Casey Affleck coming the other way. If you look right thereís Hunter Thompson looking for a motorcycle race to cover. Maybe a Mummy sandstorm will knock Bud off that bike, the Tuskan Raiders can beat him into submission and the worms from Tremors will eat him. No luck. Maybe testing that motorcycle in a standstill fashion will cause an Easy Money and we can watch him go flying into the wall. Dammit!

AND NOW ITíS TIME FOR THE ORAL PART OF THE EXAM.

Since thereís not much to spoil during the first hour of The Brown Bunny, I didnít feel too bad spelling out a play-by-play. When Daisy does enter the picture though, a lot of pieces fall into place and people finally start using their mouths. What is spoken of doesnít make the first two-thirds any better, but it does help put it into perspective. Gallo and Sevigny have some heartbreaking moments of tenderness and some particularly ugly verbage that may solidify it as pornography for moral watchdogs.

Is it necessary for Gallo and Sevigny to go so far with the intimate frankness? Take it out and the scene works on the same level. Unless Gallo just couldnít resist taking it out to get head from an Oscar nominee. Paris Hilton and half the cast of Baywatch have spent portions of their careers trying to hide footage like this from the public. And theirís wasnít nearly as well lit. So Iíve been told. I donít think Sevignyís resume is going to be as damaged by this, but Iíll be damned if her dating life doesnít pick up 300%. Kerry Fox, Caroline Ducey and Karen Bach eat your hearts out.

Much ado about nothing that is actually something? Blah. Take away the sex scene and The Brown Bunny would have elapsed into obscurity faster than reality show contestants on Fox. The infamous Cannes print ran a half-hour longer than this current one and I can only conclude it contained more of the maddening first two acts than the penultimate glory of the third. That certainly wouldnít have ingratiated my will to stay awake for the post-foreplay, but this is far from the disaster the hype has created. Many praised Gus Van Santís Gerry where its aforementioned protagonists got lost and walked and walked and walked. Bud Clay at least has a van and gets to his destination a lot quicker. I still wouldnít buy a ticket for the journey, but fast-forward buttons were created for a reason.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=10540&reviewer=198
originally posted: 09/02/04 22:01:26
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User Comments

9/07/10 tonyb Really quite brilliant...primal. 5 stars
6/12/07 al smith chloe is so hot boy does she know how to suck cock 4 stars
1/27/07 David Pollastrini a porno movie masquerading as art! 3 stars
8/18/06 Lauren Theres no defending Chloe for this, shes still awesome though! 1 stars
7/21/06 Jen The review is 100% accurate 1 stars
5/22/06 Agent Sands I don't know why I like it, but I...I...uh...I-I j-just...I just do. 4 stars
9/29/05 The Grinch The Emperor (and Gallo) are wearing no clothes...but the Emperor didn't get a Chloe Hummer. 1 stars
9/12/05 Zubb Tawil I was blown away by her performance. 1 stars
8/28/05 x0 story makes you think, beautiful camera work, + sexy *you know* 5 stars
8/17/05 tatum Pretentious and boring, hope Chloe got paid A LOT 1 stars
10/21/04 welsey this sucks so bad the scene looks tagic because its a talented actress throwing her career 1 stars
9/18/04 Not Bud Clay The movie sucked harder than Chloe did!!! 1 stars
9/12/04 atanu i wish people would see vincent gallo for the no talent pretentious fuck that he is. 1 stars
9/10/04 John Davis This movie was total crap. Chloe is garbage. 1 stars
9/06/04 sully a true look in to the mind of a damaged psyche 4 stars
9/04/04 von The best American movie in at least a few years. Seriously. 5 stars
9/03/04 Steve The Brown Bunny is a fine film. 4 stars
8/30/04 MizTaken This movie puts new meaning into the term "sleeper movie"--as it will put you to sleep. 1 stars
8/24/04 G8keeper Male narcisism at its worst. 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  27-Aug-2004 (NR)
  DVD: 16-Aug-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  N/A


Directed by
  Vincent Gallo

Written by
  Vincent Gallo

Cast
  Vincent Gallo
  ChloŽ Sevigny
  Cheryl Tiegs



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