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Overall Rating

Awesome: 4%
Worth A Look: 12%
Just Average: 22%
Pretty Crappy: 28%

3 reviews, 32 user ratings

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by f*r*o*s*t*y

"Was this movie good, great, or other? I'm leaning towards other."
1 stars

I fell to pieces.

Why, God, WHY do you keep allowing Hollywood to make adaptations of Dean Koontz books? They turn out entirely horrible. I've been reading Dean Koontz books for many years, and for the most part, they've been pretty damned good. But, not the movies. Not this movie. Wuh.

Phantoms starts out with two sisters, Jennifer and Lisa, (Going and McGowan respectively) going back to Jennifer's house for some quiet time, or some crap. But, I think this quiet is more than they bargained for.

There's no one left in the whole. fucking. town.

So, they start investigating. Big mistake. They find bloated, nasty purple bodies laying around, with no evident cause of death. They find people's body parts just sitting in various places (like a stove.. Hello!) for no apparent reason.

Basically, from this point on, it gets boring. They call in the troops, they find the "evil that lurks from within," etc. The only good thing that comes along from here is Ben Affleck wearing a cowboy hat. It's worth the cash just to see that. Kind of amusing.

Liev Schrieber plays some ungodly weird deputy, or something like that. And Peter O'Toole is HORRIBLY misplaced in this crappy assed flick. Why is HE showing up? It just made me laugh.

Sad, sad, SAD state of movie.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=107&reviewer=22
originally posted: 09/15/98 16:53:34
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User Comments

2/20/17 morris campbell decent read the book instead 2 stars
8/15/12 action movie fan good horror film-agreeable mix of terror and gore 4 stars
10/22/10 Ace-of-Stars What a ship-load of CRAP! A total waste of top Hollywood talent! 1 stars
10/20/07 fools♫gold Wasn't this screenplay itself by Dean Koontz? 3 stars
4/24/05 John Bale Alas poor Peter - how you have fallen to this ! 2 stars
3/24/04 Wendy Mead If Joanna Going married Winnie The Pooh, she'd be Joanna Going Pooh! 4 stars
3/22/04 tatum Good first hour negated by unbelievable sci-fi hokiness 3 stars
1/11/04 Emperor's New Clothes? Nope. Just a Fat, Ugly, Naked, Guy. I didn't read the book but I could make a better adaptation than this. Even if I was asleep 1 stars
3/31/03 Jack Sommersby A mediocre adaptation of a brilliant novel. 2 stars
10/22/02 palaboy101 The movie was good, but its not as great as the novel 4 stars
8/01/02 Vitality1 The book is 1,000 times better. But at least Ben is hot! 3 stars
2/23/02 Jenny Tullwartz Vastly underrated Joanna Going almost saves this otherwise lame stuff. 4 stars
1/26/02 Andrew Carden I Thought That The Muppets Christmas Carol was Scarier Then This. 1 stars
6/15/01 ric Found it scary and suspenseful. 5 stars
12/02/00 The Evil Penguin a little scary but that's all 3 stars
2/05/00 Kyle Broflovski Dean Koontz deserves more attention. I'm dying for a film version of "Twilight Eyes." 4 stars
11/21/99 Phreezer I was there to STARE at Ms. McGowan and they delivered that (jk about the rating) 5 stars
11/04/99 Mickey "Father Death" MacJohnstmyster Very disappointing , If you see it once you will never ever want to see it again . 3 stars
10/11/99 Shutterbug at least it was entertaining 4 stars
8/26/99 Azimat The monster is a gay satan wannabe. So it os not scary!!! 2 stars
8/02/99 Duck Best Sound Effects, but apart form that, dull. 2 stars
5/09/99 Beachlovr9 Sorry but it sucked 1 stars
5/01/99 Tristynn Who Cares.. Ben was in it..Even he needs to pay the rent... 2 stars
4/28/99 Garbage The film makers should have sold blow jobs rather than make this flick! 1 stars
3/07/99 CanadianChica i cannot believe i sat through the whole thing....enough said 1 stars
2/28/99 Reyna Not even Ben's godly face could save this flick. Absolute crap!!! Butterfly thing...scary.. 1 stars
1/03/99 Fartass Putrid piece of crap. Dimension Movies should be ashamed. 1 stars
11/12/98 Bad Kosh Sorry, but this movie just ate my balls. By the way, it sucked. 1 stars
11/06/98 Lord Of The Dunce Sorry Mr Affleck, but this stank up the joint. 1 stars
8/28/98 Mister Whoopee Not Scary. Well, it is, but not the way it should have been. 1 stars
8/14/98 {{{OZ}}} Imagine. Without GoodWill Hunting, this is where Ben would have stayed 2 stars
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  21-Jan-1998 (R)
  DVD: 19-Apr-2011



Directed by
  Joe Chapelle

Written by
  Dean R. Koontz

  Peter O'Toole
  Rose McGowan
  Joanna Going
  Ben Affleck
  Liev Schreiber
  Clifton Powell

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