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Overall Rating
2.16

Awesome: 5.43%
Worth A Look: 6.52%
Just Average: 21.74%
Pretty Crappy: 31.52%
Sucks34.78%

6 reviews, 56 user ratings


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Elektra
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by EricDSnider

"In the battle between good and evil, she's, um, still deciding."
2 stars

The title character in "Elektra" is a superhero, but only in the vaguest sense of that word. She's a hired assassin, for one thing, which makes her a bit less noble than, say, Superman, or even Batman, who may have killed a few people but who at least never got paid for it.

More vague, though, are her powers, in that I don't know what they are. She does this thing where she'll zip from one place to another really fast, like one second she's on the other side of the room and the next she's right behind you, but she never does it in battle. She only does it around the house, mostly to alarm people. So it's really more a parlor trick than a superpower.

She can sometimes see into the future, but only about two seconds ahead. This makes her useless for buying stocks or picking winning lotto numbers.

Oh, and she has the power to be very rude to strangers and to make the wind blow suddenly so that her long, luxurious hair gets tossed around sexily. Again, these are powers whose usefulness is limited, unless you are making a movie about a frigid superwoman with sexy hair, in which case these powers might be your chief asset.

"Elektra" is crap, but it's expensive, finely made crap. It's Faberge crap. It is confusing, dull and laughable, sometimes all at once but mostly by turns: First you're bored, then you're interested but you don't know what's going on, and then you understand what's going on but it makes you laugh.

Elektra (Jennifer Garner), a warrior and martial-arts expert, appeared in "Daredevil," where she died but was apparently brought back to life by her sensei, a blind old man named Stick (Terence Stamp). In the new film, she is an assassin for reasons not explained, and she has the aforementioned "super" "powers," which she acquired through means that are not explained either.

Her agent, McCabe (Colin Cunningham) -- yes, she is in such high demand as a killer that she requires a booking agent -- has a new job for her that requires her to live in a cottage on an island off the coast of Washington State. She is happy for the seclusion, as it gives her time to practice her obsessive-compulsive disorder and to be plagued by nightmares and flashbacks to her troubled childhood. (Despite her name, she does not seem to have been particularly fond of her father.)

While on the island awaiting further instructions from her anonymous employer, Elektra meets the neighbors, Mark Miller (Goran Visnjic) and his 13-year-old daughter Abby (Kirsten Prout). They are elusive about their past but are friendly to Elektra, who rewards their neighborliness with cold hostility.

As fate would have it, Mark and Abby turn out to be the targets Elektra has been hired to kill, but when she learns this, she aborts the mission and sets out to save them instead. Save them from whom? Why, from The Hand, of course. The Hand is a cartel of Japanese men who represent the forces of evil, which the film conveys by having them dress in business suits and sit around a boardroom table. The Hand wants something they refer to as "the treasure," and whatever this prize is, it's worth killing for, which is always the way with those evil, dark-suited consortia.

When The Hand fails to obtain the treasure, though, a squad of villains barges into the boardroom to, I'm afraid I must report, talk to The Hand. They offer to take the job on themselves, but a Hand representative tells the ringleader, "Your forces are an abomination!," and, well, when even The Hand thinks you're too evil, you must really be evil, that's all I'm sayin'.

But this renegade group goes freelancing anyway, led by Kirigi (Will Yun Lee), who has the same ambiguous powers as Elektra. His oddly powered team includes Tattoo (Chris Ackerman), who, rather than being a Hispanic midget who alerts island dwellers to the arrival of da plane, is a man whose tattoos of snakes, hawks and other animals can come to life and do his bidding. (Why not just get a tattoo of a gun and make it easy on yourself?) He also has Stone (Bob Sapp), an enormous slab of a man who cannot be pierced with bullets; and Typhoid (Natassia Malthe), whose breath and mere countenance destroys all life in her path, which makes her easy to follow when pursued.

What a delightfully stupid movie it all makes! Jennifer Garner, for her part, is fantastic, her stoicism, femininity and strength all combined the way they are on her TV gig "Alias" (though "Elektra" makes far less use of her puckish sense of humor, since Elektra herself is so dour most of the time). But she's trapped in a cryptic movie that does dumb things like having her return to her childhood home, deserted for 20 years, and finding the gas and electricity still turned on. Or the campy, overblown final battle in that house and on its grounds, where we discover the downside to having tattoos that come to life is that when they do, you fall asleep, which leaves you kind of vulnerable. Or the lame dialogue (written by Raven Metzner, Stu Zicherman and Zak Penn) that requires Elektra to tell Stick, "You talk in riddles, old man." ("You talk in riddles old man"? Are you KIDDING me?!)

What director Rob Bowman (an "X-Files" veteran) has overlooked is that comic book movies, perhaps more than any other genre, need good stories in order to be successful. We must know who the characters are and why they do what they do, and their goals must be clear. A heroine with issues is fine, maybe even preferable to a squeaky-clean one. But we need to know what the issues are, and why they cause her to wear revealing red clothing as she goes about her daily business of murdering people. You can't just put that out there and expect us not to ask why. You talk in riddles, stupid movie.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=11450&reviewer=247
originally posted: 01/17/05 19:01:42
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User Comments

4/04/09 Alfonso Turnage I loved this movie . . . it is one of the best female led super-hero movies 5 stars
3/09/09 MJ Not as bad as some people say. 3 stars
10/17/08 AshleyRockO I liked this film. Jennifer Garner looked good in it to. 4 stars
9/02/08 Shaun Wallner This movie has some great scenes in it. 5 stars
7/07/08 Random I hope this director doesn't get the chance to ruin any more comic book adaptations 2 stars
6/20/08 David V Terrible movie. Actually makes Daredevil look good. 1 stars
6/16/08 Jenn Really boring. Really Flat. Really bad. 1 stars
12/13/07 Jason Elektra was an O.K martial arts flick, with better dialoge than others. Great on PSP. 3 stars
7/16/07 MaDmAN She died on her first night out in Daredevil, so they gave her her own movie? 3 stars
6/16/07 Edison Kirsten prout Is so dam hot haha lol 5 stars
3/30/07 David Pollastrini Jennifer Garner is hot in this! 2 stars
3/20/07 dude really bad 1 stars
1/30/07 action movie fan lame movie-very disappointing 2 stars
12/04/06 Stanley Thai It's an average film. Not too good but not too bad either. 3 stars
7/15/06 bullit16 Very, very blah 2 stars
5/23/06 Josh Standlee Why did Elektra want to save Abby? I would have killed that little shit in a heartbeat! 3 stars
3/27/06 Brian Meyer Excrement defined. It only makes you appeciate Daredevil a little more. 1 stars
3/02/06 Tanya could have been better 3 stars
2/11/06 Indrid Cold Really makes you wonder why they can't just spend just a little more money on THE SCRIPT. 2 stars
1/25/06 LP Quagmire Bring on the sequel! 5 stars
10/24/05 Sugarfoot You mean this wasn't the porno version of Daredevil? Well there goes my rental dollars. 1 stars
8/18/05 ES worse than Daredevil, if that's possible 1 stars
7/25/05 Eric Rollins Liked it , then again I liked Daredevil too, so go figure. 3 stars
7/09/05 Moctezuma I don't care how hot some bitch that can't act looks like in a red suit, this movie sucked 2 stars
6/05/05 spacecowboy this was one of the most disgusting pieces of shit i've ever watched. i want my time back. 1 stars
5/18/05 Cindy Sheeks At least it had a woman super hero for a change. Unfortunately, the movie stunk. 2 stars
5/09/05 Carol Pretty dull 2 stars
5/05/05 Christy Schultz I didn't think it was that bad, but then again I really like Jennifer Garner 4 stars
5/02/05 Dan I'm open to a wide range of movies, but this...ugh. 2 stars
4/25/05 E-FUNK The only recognition it gets... is that it was better than Daredevil, but that means shit. 1 stars
4/09/05 Consuela Sanchez C'mon Jennifer Garner! You seem only slightly better than Ashley Judd at picking roles. 2 stars
3/25/05 Denise ok 2 stars
2/25/05 Brandy It was pretty good, but I wouldn't want to see it twice. 4 stars
2/22/05 ALDO i thought daredevil was Total crap....this makes it look like a master piece 1 stars
2/15/05 Melody Arneil A super hero movie that lacks heart and soul 3 stars
2/11/05 Gabriel Jolivet a poor movie, really not worth the time. 1 stars
2/07/05 whatevr This movie makes no sense! 2 stars
2/04/05 COlleen GOldrick I liked it 4 stars
2/03/05 craig varney electra never got plugged in 2 stars
2/01/05 Lynde Foy Besides Garner half naked this movie offers nothing 1 stars
1/26/05 JesseL Not a good kung fu movie or super hero. Adequate though. 3 stars
1/22/05 Carrielle IT SUCKED!!! 1 stars
1/21/05 Sas Much better than I thought it would be. liked the tattoo guy. 3 stars
1/20/05 MaX I love garner, but dis movie was too slow, great concept though! 4 stars
1/20/05 keithers.. Why don't you make a movie called Gadners Ass...and it would the same thing.. 2 stars
1/19/05 Steve Michaud A sub-par Marvel movie entry, seriously lacking heart or emotional depth 3 stars
1/18/05 e elektra is an advantageously made film. the actors are terrific.the film had good sequences 4 stars
1/17/05 Gray ripoff of leon with kung fu thrown in + some cool villians 3 stars
1/17/05 Whatevr Don't screen near an open flame 1 stars
1/17/05 Aaron Smith Just awful. Bad plot. Bad action. 2 stars
1/15/05 Roy Smith Again Embarrassing. The final fights are retarded. 2 stars
1/14/05 BrianWilly Action scenes questionable, but good drama and heart 5 stars
1/14/05 Darren Shea No memorable performances, decent action.Worth it if you're a comics fan and it's a matinee 3 stars
1/14/05 malcolm nice action sequences, but too far between them. sappy for a movie about an assassin. 3 stars
1/14/05 Nick Riess for kids 2 stars
1/14/05 Dunce Stinker! Should have just adapted Elektra: Assasin comic w/ Claudia Black & Nick Nolte 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  14-Jan-2005 (PG-13)
  DVD: 18-Oct-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  13-Jan-2005




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