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Overall Rating

Awesome: 6.67%
Worth A Look: 8.33%
Just Average: 22.5%
Pretty Crappy: 7.5%

9 reviews, 66 user ratings

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Hide and Seek
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by Jack Sommersby

"Better Left Hidden"
1 stars

All I asked for was a creepy, scare-me-silly good time, and all I got was this dumb t-shirt.

Poor Dakota Fanning. After having shone so bright and appealed to so many with her emotionally-accessible performances in I Am Sam, Man on Fire and War of the Worlds, here she is in the dreadful Hide and Seek with a dark-hair dye-job looking zoned-out and wanton so she resembles Christina Ricci in The Addams Family. Of course, a sunshiny appearance would be at odds with her character here, a character having recently experienced the loss of her mother due to suicide and her being under the care of psychologist dad Robert De Niro, who's uprooted her from Manhattan to a New York bedroom community an hour away, and just so she can be enveloped and terrified by a supposed imaginary friend who's quite the morbid-minded one, leaving terrifying messages in blood-red above the bathtub and the like. Still, her performance is almost one-note throughout and doesn't even remotely emanate "the joy of acting". But who can blame her, after all, since she's been hired to lend gravitas to a truly hackneyed screenplay that borrows so heavily and shamelessly from other films that each and every scene seems adorned with a neon sign that reads "identity crisis"? We're meant to guess whether the ultimate culprit is supernatural or psychological, but the character base is so limited and the atmospherics so blase you find yourself not caring either way. Without ever hitting chalk marks even mediocre directors have managed to in the haunted-house subgenre, John Polson has no earthly idea how to conjure up suspense either through visual or aural means (especially the latter -- it's a thousand far cries from the brilliant sound design of Robert Zemeckis' similarly-themed, slightly-underpraised What Lies Beneath); and De Niro, giving us an umpteenth De Niro Lite special, shows as much verity as a Rodeo Drive mannequin. Added to which, the dialogue is terrible, the structure a mess, the pacing laborious, and the final twist foreseeable from several zip codes away. A couple more cinematic turkeys like this, and Fanning might find herself opting to do radio voiceovers instead.

See "The Evil" or "The Changeling" instead.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=11471&reviewer=327
originally posted: 04/19/06 19:23:45
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User Comments

10/29/16 morris campbell dull corny man with 2 personalities flick so if i spoiled anthing but its rather obvious 1 stars
7/16/11 Jeff Wilder Truly abysmal. 1 stars
1/12/09 Anonymous. it was alright. most horror movies aren't that great. 3 stars
3/01/08 Ivana Mann The most hilarious plot twist ever filmed. Too bad it was supposed to be a thriller... 1 stars
8/05/07 ravenmad So full of holes it ain't a joke, no sense, no direction~ Thank god for the library! 1 stars
6/19/07 Muted Orbz Watch Deniro ruin the hard work of a talented little girl. 3 stars
4/30/07 Ole Man Bourbon "Yes, I'm talkin' to you. Screw you, I want my free rental back." 1 stars
2/03/07 Vip Ebriega Not that good. 3 stars
12/14/06 Stanley Thai A really great thriller. Good acting. 4 stars
9/18/06 annie The movie builds up good and then the end is so stupid. 3 stars
8/19/06 Beau Great acting with a brilliant twist that will captivate the minds of the audience 4 stars
5/22/06 Sophia D. It was good. But it was confusing. 4 stars
5/16/06 Jackie AMAZING! 5 stars
5/06/06 Charlene Javier Poor Dakota... 2 stars
4/10/06 Alex Is more tremendous! I yet did not meet on the Internet of a drain of games and the informat 5 stars
4/08/06 Anastasya Thank you for being generous with your resources... I hope that you will receive more than 5 stars
3/07/06 Jin Really effective thriller. One of the best 4 stars
3/01/06 Bill Greetings to all! Excuse for this message, but at you excellent design of a site! Very much 2 stars
11/08/05 michael good movie until the last 15 minutes 3 stars
10/25/05 Ellie Harrington This movie made me very dissapointed and saddened that such talent was wasted completely 1 stars
10/03/05 Michael Blower Don't understand the negative comments. Good film admit it, you don't have to be sheep 4 stars
9/27/05 tatum Sad to sit through a two hour movie after figuring it out the first ten minutes 2 stars
9/08/05 John bad script worse direction - and worst of all NOT scary 1 stars
8/29/05 ES Dakota Fanning scares me more than De Niro does, devil child 2 stars
8/19/05 Sara B. In a world awash in bad suspense films, this one isn't completely without merit. 3 stars
7/27/05 Monday Morning The most boring, slow-paced piece of shite in a long time. 1 stars
7/24/05 Mia Watchable until the predictable and idiotic "twist". 1 stars
7/23/05 alaina I think is so stupid that you can pick 4 different endings on the dvd... I 3 stars
7/21/05 Jordan secret wondow remake if u ask me secret window was better 1 stars
7/13/05 Lauren Don't waste your time, as I just did. 1 stars
7/13/05 Indrid Cold Builds suspense pretty well up until the twist, but is sleep-inducing after that. 3 stars
7/09/05 othree horrible horrible, 1 of the few xs I can say I want the 101 mins back 1 stars
7/08/05 V People criticize this movie b/c they don't understand who or what Charlie is. Pay attention 4 stars
7/07/05 ALDO this is a watch once type of film.....twice would be too much 3 stars
6/30/05 Alejandro is awesome a horror movie and a very very fun movie 5 stars
6/13/05 Helen Bradley Dakota Fanning excellent slow paced poor editing 3 stars
5/23/05 tristan cool 5 stars
3/04/05 Sam Eskenazi come on 2 stars
3/04/05 Chris Stephens Good thriller. 3 stars
3/02/05 David Tsung dakota out-acts robert 3 stars
2/24/05 Comixchick This had the audience laughing out loud! Dumb, dumb, dumb... 1 stars
2/18/05 Raul Valdez do the studoies even try anymore? 1 stars
2/15/05 Melody Arneil Dakota Fanning made the film watchable for what was essentially a weak story 2 stars
2/14/05 Christine Dakota Fanning was excellent 4 stars
2/14/05 Joy Simply showing the fanning freak should have been scary enough. 1 stars
2/12/05 John Bale Sixth Sense collides with The Shining, and makes no sense. Spooky Fanning saves the show. 4 stars
2/09/05 Colleen Goldrick Just Hide 2 stars
2/06/05 Anthony T This film is clever and performances are great! Critics "the ending was a copout" NONSENSE! 4 stars
2/06/05 kumar crap crap crap crap crap 1 stars
2/05/05 Cassandra Farrar good idea...bad movie 2 stars
2/05/05 me A great film 5 stars
2/01/05 Steve Michaud A vile, reprehensible film that exploits child psychological abuse for cheap thrills 1 stars
2/01/05 whatevr the only hiding I will do is from this movie 1 stars
2/01/05 Tammera Mack dumb 1 stars
1/31/05 Danita Berg Great until the end. The twist wasn't such a twist. 3 stars
1/31/05 Lynda Eby Expected much more. De Niro let me down! 3 stars
1/31/05 malcolm a good try, but not quite 3 stars
1/31/05 chrys waiting for the day the idol of the morons a.k.a the fanning freakshow ends up in rehab. 1 stars
1/31/05 mott the drupal didn't have enough gerbils. sucks. 1 stars
1/30/05 atanu acting like a grown up is not a substitute for good acting. fanning is plain creepy. 1 stars
1/29/05 Casey Tells good movie 5 stars
1/29/05 Garnet Leib Sucks 1 stars
1/29/05 Marilyn pathetic movie 2 stars
1/28/05 me A great film 5 stars
1/28/05 darlenecom This movie will keep your attention! 4 stars
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  28-Jan-2005 (R)
  DVD: 05-Jul-2005



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