Jamie Kennedy's favorite movie review site
Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 

Overall Rating

Worth A Look: 26.53%
Just Average: 16.33%
Pretty Crappy: 9.18%
Sucks: 4.08%

4 reviews, 74 user ratings

Latest Reviews

We Are Little Zombies by Jay Seaver

Darlin' by Jay Seaver

Astronaut (2019) by Jay Seaver

White Storm 2: Drug Lords, The by Jay Seaver

Vivarium by Jay Seaver

Art of Self-Defense, The by Jay Seaver

Crawl by Peter Sobczynski

Swallow by Jay Seaver

Perfection, The by Rob Gonsalves

Luce by Jay Seaver

subscribe to this feed

Lost Boys, The
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Rob Gonsalves

"Motherfucker, I'm tryin' to watch 'Lost Boys'!"
2 stars

So there we were, browsing the shelves for a horror flick. And there it was: "The Lost Boys." Normally we would've kept browsing. But Corey Haim had just died. So there we were, watching "The Lost Boys."

It hasn't aged well. At all. Aside from a cool cover of "People Are Strange" by Echo and the Bunnymen, the soundtrack is precisely the wrong kind of '80s cheese — lots of synth and drum machine, no soul. And that pretty well describes the movie, too. If you were young enough to be part of the movie's target audience in '87, you might've thought it was totally rad. I somehow missed it back then, and only caught snippets on cable over the years. So this was my first time with The Lost Boys. As a time-capsule piece and a gallery of ridiculous hair, it's fitfully amusing. As a horror film it blows up on the launch pad. I'm more of a Fright Night fan myself.

The late, lamented Corey co-stars with his fellow Corey (Feldman), in the first of several collaborations. I know I should've been feeling a pang of sadness watching him as a teenager battling with demons, but I didn't really make the connection. The movie doesn't, either; it loses sight of its own potentially intriguing subtext. A bunch of motorcycle-riding vampires are terrorizing Santa Clara, seducing Corey's older brother (Jason Patric) into their fold. The film's memorable tagline went "Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a vampire." The movie never quite delivers on that last promise. Kiefer Sutherland, as the vamp we take to be the leader, exudes a certain bored decadence, but in this movie being a vampire isn't much different from being an average j.d., other than the bloodsucking bit.

We don't feel that it must be fun to be a vampire; no, that would make the film interesting. Instead, vampires are the usual outside threat to the dull nuclear family, though mom Dianne Wiest is divorced and moving herself and her sons in with her hash-addled old dad (Barnard Hughes). The Lost Boys lacks any subversive kick; Blackboard Jungle was more dangerous. There's maybe a shaky bit of symbolism in the vamps' turning Patric by encouraging him to drink from a bottle of blood (just say no! friends don't let friends drink and bite!), but for the most part the youth angle is simply there to put teenage asses in seats. It's not commenting on anything. So for The Lost Boys to work at all, it has to work as straight horror, but Joel Schumacher's direction makes everything weightless, easily digested and shat out. Sutherland is allowed a few eerie moments — as with his Ace in Stand by Me, he's of the school that quieter is scarier — but the rest of the vamps, including future Bill & Ted star Alex (billed as Alexander) Winter, are laughable mullet mannequins.

The early scenes on the neon-seared boardwalk in Santa Clara, where vampires come out at night and go unremarked, set a promising mood. But before long the movie gets away from that carny atmosphere, and we get a lot of fog or tedious daylight scenes. It doesn't help that the key factor in Patric's seduction is vamp tramp Jami Gertz, perhaps the worst actress in history. (They couldn't have cast anyone else? Absolutely anyone? Cyndi Lauper was too busy?) It all ends with a loudly gauche climax that involves, among other things, blood gushing out of a toilet. By that point, the movie has long forsaken any chance it had to forge a coldly striking '80s style. Most of The Lost Boys looks incredibly pedestrian.

So there we were, watching an '80s teen-vampire flick with very little gore, no nudity (hardly any sex, other than a preposterous MTV-style fling between Patric and Gertz with no heat whatsoever), no drugs (unless you count blood addiction), and, God knows, no scares. Why were we watching? Corey Haim had just died. A semi-valid excuse that will expire soon, until the other Corey buys it.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=1170&reviewer=416
originally posted: 03/11/10 22:58:06
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

9/21/17 morris campbell the wimp boys is more like it toothless vampire flick 1 stars
4/07/15 LadyBakon My favorite vampire movie! No glitter and walking in daylight here folks! 5 stars
11/24/13 Vanessa C. I liked this older movie. the new vampire movies suck. 4 stars
9/09/13 gene kelly teen wolf was a far superior 80s film; like top gun, this a big steaming pile of fertilizer 1 stars
12/26/10 Tamra Kasey Saw it when I was 15.I am now 38,still love it! 5 stars
5/01/10 Amy Green Watch this movie fairly regularly-can't get enough-a classic. 5 stars
12/12/08 Annie G Typical 80’s divorced mom, obnoxious kids, big hair movie with vampires. Why so popular? 2 stars
8/27/08 michael thomas it was okay but ive seen alot better 3 stars
8/11/08 Gerald S Vampires and comedy shouldn't be in same movie-and the music and effects are so corny today 2 stars
4/25/07 UvIndex Bizzare Ending. I love it! 5 stars
12/07/06 UGB Got to be one of the best vampire movies ever 5 stars
11/28/06 Lynn Leighton it is a great movie i love it !!!! and the guys are sooo hot ! 5 stars
11/02/06 David Pollastrini needs more gore! 5 stars
11/02/06 Neli Great vampire flick. Fun and stylish. Kiefer is incredibly magnetic. 5 stars
9/26/06 Stoner This movie rox and Kiefer is the sexiest vampire ever!!!! 5 stars
8/10/06 Dragon The Artist One of the best vampire flicks since Bram Stoker's Dracula!! 5 stars
9/01/05 Eden The first have is awesome, but the second is total crap. So its average 3 stars
2/16/05 C Vega one of the best 80's movies with an awesome cast and a great soundtrack 5 stars
1/29/05 Jeff Anderson Kiefer Sutherland MAKES & RULES THIS CLASSIC! Jami Gertz is incredibly, incredibly HOT!!!!! 5 stars
1/13/05 becki best film ever made, kiefer looks bad but sexy 5 stars
9/30/04 Archanist_101 Kiefer Sutherland + mullet = HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
8/02/04 Jessica D. love the movie..the guys are hot....great movie 5 stars
7/08/04 J Cadiramen The premiere vampire flick... dark and gritty, but with a noir humour. 4 stars
7/07/04 Denise Duspiva I love Kiefer as David 5 stars
6/25/04 Thomas Pacheco One of the best Horror filme ever. 5 stars
6/23/04 Jack Sommersby Good fun. Solid contributions all around. 4 stars
6/16/04 Daveman Good entertainment, with the welcome addition of Corey Feldman on top form. 3 stars
3/14/04 GBFH watching it right now. awesome movie. 5 stars
1/11/04 Samuel a very good vampire flick 3 stars
12/17/03 tasha it was excellent deffinently 5 stars hot actors (corey feldman and haim ) 5 stars
7/21/03 Double G Pretty Good Movie 4 stars
6/24/03 candy Nothing sucks in this movie except the vampires! 5 stars
5/27/03 Scott Howard Fun 3 stars
3/12/03 kelley jewell i love this movie to death 5 stars
2/23/03 Margaret No Oscar winner but really cool, dark, fun, and entertaining! 4 stars
10/23/02 Charles Tatum Sexy, cool soundtrack 5 stars
10/19/02 Emily Why do you think it is a cult film? Fantastic! 5 stars
10/15/02 Dennis Kay first class classic of goth 5 stars
9/29/02 Fuze44 Yes, people are strange. 4 stars
8/11/02 zine "death By Stero" Really WIRTH a Look, Billy Wirth 5 stars
7/23/02 TheChronic I've never liked the movie so my rating is biased, do not judge from it 3 stars
7/10/02 CVJ NWO Excellent film one of the best vampire films of the generation 5 stars
4/02/02 Butterbean This reminds us that Schumacher was once a good director. 4 stars
3/22/02 Mark Hickford F*cking Awesome 5 stars
2/25/02 K y L e A GREAT movie. 5 stars
2/21/02 Xaver It's fun! Everytime I see the little guy turn into a vampire, I know why I like the film. 4 stars
2/04/02 Frances Ok I guess but not THAT wonderful. 3 stars
1/13/02 Andrew Carden Fair Vampire Flick. Not Enough Substance or Excitement. 3 stars
12/14/01 Kimberly My favorite movie of all time! 5 stars
11/26/01 Kimberly Zastawny the greatest movie ever definetly a classic of it's time 5 stars
9/17/01 AnnyFanny Looks like it was a great film in its day!Punk 4eva! 4 stars
9/15/01 Dai The first race scene is the best ever filmed! I love that song!! 5 stars
9/09/01 Suz I think this is one of the best 80's films I've seen...gore, laughs, romance... 5 stars
9/03/01 Butterbean Great non-cheezy vamp flick. The only time Kiefer Sutherland looked hot 5 stars
8/09/01 E-Funk A great movie about vampires from the 80's. Funny and at times a bit frightening. 5 stars
7/08/01 Aimee this movie was the best! alex winter ( plays marko, hes from bill and ted movies) rules! 5 stars
7/03/01 Jed Lawrence This is the undisputed king of vampire movies! feldman and haim at their greatest 5 stars
5/31/01 perverted pixie Knarly, vamp flick. One to watch when your bunking off school. 5 stars
3/29/01 Kool AID Billy wirth is hottt!!!!!! 5 stars
2/16/01 Jake fun flick and not too shabby. 4 stars
7/04/00 brock hood best vampire movie ever 5 stars
2/10/00 Kyle Broflovski Four words for those who slapped this with bad reviews: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 5 stars
10/25/99 Ben Leostein Rating: **˝ (out of ****) Category: "Above Average" 3 stars
7/03/99 J-Dogg Hate this shit. hate all fuckin' vampire flicks. 2 stars
6/19/99 Evol Love it; great movie. 5 stars
6/15/99 Dylan Great. 4 stars
5/14/99 Jaddax top vampire movie 5 stars
4/09/99 Michael Grimm My wife made me do it, it did film at Santa Cruz though 5 stars
3/07/99 KK Dusenbury Almost gets the right mood. But little boys and vampires don't mix 1 stars
11/17/98 Jules Some horrible acting failed to ruin a fun flick 4 stars
10/27/98 Silent Rob How can such a suck film be so good...? 3 stars
10/19/98 SBGirl^_^ good flick, hot guys, decent story, and a few good jumps, very worthwhile 4 stars
10/19/98 Bluntman Loads of fun. 4 stars
Note: Duplicate, 'planted,' or other obviously improper comments
will be deleted at our discretion. So don't bother posting 'em. Thanks!
Your Name:
Your Comments:
Your Location: (state/province/country)
Your Rating:

Discuss this movie in our forum

  02-Jul-1987 (R)
  DVD: 10-Aug-2004


  02-Feb-1988 (M)

Directed by
  Joel Schumacher

Written by
  Jeffrey Boam

  Jason Patric
  Corey Haim
  Corey Feldman
  Dianne Weist
  Kiefer Sutherland
  Jami Gertz

Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
Privacy Policy | | HBS Inc. |   
All data and site design copyright 1997-2017, HBS Entertainment, Inc.
Search for
reviews features movie title writer/director/cast