What's this movie missing? Oh yeah, accents.I saw this in the theater when it came out, because the girl I was dating at the time had a thing for both Kevin Costner and Christian Slater (the how's and why's of her ending up with me is anyone's guess). When she heard there was a shot of Costner's naked ass, she all but dragged me to the theater.
It was a stunt butt.
I laughed, and we broke up five months later.
Anyway, on to the film.
It stunk. Robin Hood isn't dark. This movie is. It's a shame, too, because the umpteenth retelling could've been good, especially with the folks involved. Say what you will about Costner, but I liked him in JFK and Bull Durham, before he got into his "I'm so great" phase. Morgan Freeman really can't do anything badly (except for choices concerning his roles, but even then he takes a sucky role and makes it memorable), and Alan Rickman, is, well, Alan Rickman.
But it doesn't work.
Costner plays the title character. Except he's got no accent. He plays Robin as a brooding, thoughtful Robin, rather than the merry man he's been portrayed as before. He's bland. And he's got no accent. There's Slater, playing Will Scarlet, a guy who's got a secret about ol' Robin. He's got more of an accent, but he's also got more of the surfer dude look, too. Freeman is alright - if a little bit bored - playing Azeem, the Moor who must pay back a debt to Robin after they escape from prison during the Crusades. But Rickman's the scenery chewing Sheriff of Nottingham, and he steals the show. He's full of venom, but he's also pretty sly and droll. He's the best part of the movie, but that comes at a cost, because it's a bit out of place. The whole tone of the film is too dark for family viewing (the openingsequence involves the decapitation of a hand).
Add in stupid dialogue....
Sheriff: Locksley, I'm going to cut your heart out with a spoon! Robin: So it begins.
"So it begins?" Good comeback, Robin Hood, Prince of Dweebs.
It's like that. I rate this with two stars instead of one solely on the basis of Rickman.Just watch an older version. Much more entertaining.