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Playboy Exposed: Naughty in Nature
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by Jack Sommersby

1 stars

The video's title is considerably more of a turn-on than the video itself.

Naughty in Nature is quite a ho-hum entry in Playboy's Exposed series that's fifty-seven minutes better spent surfing celebrity nude sites. We spend our time with seven young women decked out in short-shorts and tank tops as they disembark from their vehicles and make their way through the woods to their campsite. Fine start so far, this, because their scant wardrobe is tantalizing and makes you look forward to their inevitable disrobing -- nudity isn't uncouthly thrown in your face right from the get-go; the anticipation of nudity is allowed to work its way into our minds, our imaginations, so the build-up to it is, in a way, voyeuristic foreplay. But after a suitable-enough duration of, oh, five minutes, the clothes start coming off, and, unfortunately, it's not nearly as sexy as one would hope for. Rather than the girls engaging in some appealingly mischievous situations, they're split up into three groups as they walk through the woods, and we're subjected to three different series of inane conversations about their sexual experiences, which are so contextually tame and commonplace that they wouldn't arouse even Colin Farrell. In between the groan-inducing talk there's skin, all right, but it's not presented in too erotic a manner. On four separate occasions one woman is isolated from everybody else, and we're subjected to a long, drawn-out episode where she slowly undresses to the buff point and the camera proceeds to track up and down and up and down her body and up and down again and again. Two minutes tops of this kind of thing would suffice, but it's more than double that here; before the second woman is even halfway through, we're getting restless, which is the kiss of death in any nudie video. These women haven't been directed to seductively pose, like swankily moving up against a tree or lying in the grass and wriggling about; they just stand in the same place and do their robotic thing, which makes no creative use of their scenic surroundings -- they could be doing their routine inside an antiques store or glass factory for all the non-spontaneous, cautious movement they exhibit here. You'll spend more time fast-forwarding than freeze-framing.

Even more unfortunate, when the women are allowed to disrobe among each other, the effect isn't any more libidinous. They giggle, they squirt bottled water over their breasts, they give a light spank to someone else's bottom, and that's about it. They don't go skinny-dipping, they don't engage in any real lustful activity with one another, they don't exude the kind of naughty giddiness of being naked in a public place. In fact, they're so direly normal at going through their paces that I was reminded of being a lot more turned on the day before by the nude-in-the-woods scene in the dreary comedy-slasher flick Cheerleader Camp which consisted of only two women who both retained possession of their bikini bottoms. Another problem is the women's looks, which have that bland soriority-girl quality; none are standouts, their breast sizes are practically all the same, there's only one woman with pubic hair (seen only in a brief long shot), and, tragically, there's not a single tan line to be spied. (Note to Playboy: There are guys out there -- myself proudly among them -- who salivate over tan lines, OK?) No discrimination in the hair-color department, though -- even a red-head is in the mix (though it always seems to me the makers of these videos always wind up with a redhead who's the least-attractive of the bunch). But the director has terrible instincts in prioritizing his shots. The best derriere of the bunch doesn't get nearly enough close-ups, the breasts are photographed at angles that don't accentuate their tautness and suppleness, and when the women are lying on blankets on their backs their legs are mostly closed, and when they're on their stomachs the row of bottoms on display is shot from a side angle and too high a side angle, at that. Too many times you're reminded of that Tom Hanks line from Bachelor Party: "I don't mean to complain, but I usually don't like my smut this clean." Doesn't Playboy know that if they're not going to be as explicit as Penthouse that they need to make up for it in presentational vivaciousness, where the cameraman doesn't act like a nervous nerd around some babes or an incestuous sibling sneakily photographing his sisters? Naughty in Nature might as well be titled Nocturnal in Nature.

Makes shelling out 6 bucks for the just-passable Playboy mag a preferable alternative.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=11957&reviewer=327
originally posted: 04/14/05 11:33:15
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User Comments

4/14/05 y2mckay Why are we reviewing plotless soft-core on this site? Go rent some real porn 2 stars
4/14/05 Marilyn awful 2 stars
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  DVD: 16-Mar-2004



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