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Overall Rating

Awesome: 26.67%
Worth A Look: 3.33%
Just Average: 23.33%
Pretty Crappy: 17.78%

7 reviews, 48 user ratings

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Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3-D, The
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by EricDSnider

"Hey, Robert? How about you don't let your kids write your movies anymore."
3 stars

Robert Rodriguez is famous for doing it all himself. He'll write the screenplay, direct the movie, work as his own cinematographer, and even compose the score. The result is that his films often have a unified, distinct vision to them. The downside is that sometimes this unified, distinct vision is boring, and when you're doing all the work yourself, there's no one to tell you're doing it wrong.

"The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D" is based on bedtime stories improvised by Rodriguez and his 7-year-old son, allegedly named "Racer," though I find that hard to believe. That the film arose from such beginnings is no surprise; it has the random, nonsensical whimsy of a child's off-the-cuff storytelling. You can see Racer coming up with one idea after another to forestall lights-out:

"And then Sharkboy shows up, and then there's a fight, and then they have to go to the Dream Lair, and then they have to get the Crystal Heart, and then they have to freeze time, and then there's an ice castle, and then Lavagirl melts stuff, and then there's a boy, and then somebody farts."

If this beginning-less, middle-less and end-less story sounds like it would make a good film, then you and Robert Rodriguez think alike. For the rest of us, it's a tiresome, generically adventurous tale for kids.

The hero is a fourth-grader named Max ("Cayden" Boyd, speaking of made-up names) who is forever being picked on for living in a fantasy world and having a tenuous grasp on reality. His "what I did on my summer vacation" report is full of visits from Sharkboy (Taylor Lautner) and Lavagirl (Taylor Dooley), much to the dismay of his English teacher (George Lopez), who for some reason continually seeks to stifle Max's creativity rather than foster it. (The history teacher, I can see. But the English teacher? When the class is focusing on creative writing? That makes no sense.)

Max has two bickering parents (David Arquette and Kristin Davis) who disagree on what to do with him, but no matter. Soon he is whisked away to the planet Drool by SB and LG, his talents (whatever they are) needed to stop the evil Mr. Electric (George Lopez again) from, I don't know, destroying the universe? SB and LG need Max specifically because he is their creator, having imagined them in the first place. Why he can't then just imagine that Mr. Electricity dies and never bothers Drool again, I don't know. I am not familiar with the rules governing one's delusions.

The movie's message is that our imagination creates a world that can be as real and as vital as the "real" real world, and that creative thinking among young people should be encouraged. Unfortunately, the movie makes this point 1,000,000,000,000,000 times over the course of its 94 minutes, for an average of 10,638,297,872,340 instances of point-making per minute. Imagination is important. WE GET IT. Now how about coming up with an interesting or clever story? These wan adventures -- punctuated by lengthy 3-D sequences in dull, muted colors where nothing "pops" or even needs to be in 3-D -- are tedious and uninspired. You'd think a movie about the virtues of using your imagination would be more, you know, imaginative. But this thing -- this thing, your own kid could have come up with. It's fine for bedtime, but who pours $30 million into filming a random bedtime story?

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=12429&reviewer=247
originally posted: 06/09/05 23:50:21
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User Comments

10/22/09 Erika I really liked this movie!!!!It was awesome and i wished they would of made a second movie 5 stars
9/09/08 lil jj i like the movie 5 stars
4/21/08 katelyn i love the songs best but i still love the movie 5 stars
3/23/08 Vanessa I really like the song 5 stars
4/18/07 Stevo UK As a film critic, i had to see it. Was Rodriguez High when he thought of this? 1 stars
4/17/07 David Pollastrini Great fx 2 stars
2/14/07 Kristin Stefankiewicz I have an idea for Shark boy and lava girl 2 5 stars
12/30/06 ron steven beautiful movie 5 stars
12/16/06 Danielle santos this movie was so cool i loved ie so much. 5 stars
7/06/06 drydock54321 totally boring 1 stars
5/16/06 Paoal Gonzalez shark boy u are so hot!!!!!!!!!!but I relly did not like the movie 3 stars
4/16/06 Jackie I expected more from the guy who made Spy Kids. Great job Rodreguiz. 2 thumbz way...down! 1 stars
4/08/06 mattew grice i think that sharkboy and lavagirl is the best film i have ever seen 5 stars
2/27/06 someone who hates sharkboy and lavagirl 3d WORST CRAP IVE EVER SEEN THIS MAKES SESAME STREET LOOK AWESOME 1 stars
2/25/06 dupadoit cool 5 stars
2/23/06 kay valentine i want meet with you 5 stars
10/27/05 Jonathon Holmes Rodriguez should be ashamed of himself 1 stars
10/20/05 leanne i thing this movie is the best movie ever 5 stars
10/10/05 Tom Burns Cool scenery, not the best story though. 4 stars
10/09/05 Agent Sands Rodriguez's son is going to hate him when he's older. WHO THE FUCK LET HIM MAKE THIS MOVIE? 1 stars
10/07/05 Teya love it 5 stars
10/06/05 pinhead groovy to the max 5 stars
9/22/05 tatum Robert, every LSD trip does not deserve a film... 1 stars
9/21/05 Fritz The kids couldn't even sit through it. Terrible. 1 stars
9/19/05 Jonathon Holmes Rodriguez should be ashamed of himself 1 stars
9/03/05 homeboy gotta love it 5 stars
9/03/05 Stephanie Throckmorton As with most 3-D films, illusion of things flying out of the screen at you is best part. 3 stars
9/02/05 SharkBoy Best movie Ever !!! any who thourt it sucks is a freak im Sharkboy 5 stars
8/05/05 Zack Note to Robert Rodriguez: YOUR KIDS FILMS SUCK! Make more action flicks! 1 stars
8/03/05 Cin So Deadly 5 stars
7/29/05 dupadoit so cool 5 stars
7/25/05 Eric Rollins Films like this will kill the genre. 1 stars
7/08/05 jess taylor is SOO hot, oh and the movie rocked 5 stars
7/05/05 Cibeus My daughter thought it was as good as Herbie. Someone on screen barfs every five minutes. 2 stars
6/30/05 gc.hd.hu cool 5 stars
6/30/05 woohoo rad 5 stars
6/28/05 Victoria Sinn Best movie I've ever seen!! 5 stars
6/22/05 nicole i laughed through this whole movie & the glasses made it too dark 4 stars
6/21/05 Linda Tran It was an awsome movie 5 stars
6/20/05 Louise Too dark! My son had to take off the glasses to watch. Bad 3-D; no DVD for us! 2 stars
6/19/05 Pro-Shark Boy Too awesome to say 83 5 stars
6/14/05 Shirin de Silva I thought it was a good flick, although yes, I hate 3d. Saw it three times. 4 stars
6/14/05 matt o'brien this movie this is so fuckin awsome 5 stars
6/14/05 Chris This is The first movie that i have ever seen that gave me a migrane and made me throw up 1 stars
6/13/05 Allan Silliphant Rodriguez blew this by not trying to use the best 3D processing available with colored 3d 3 stars
6/13/05 Agent Sands I've never walked out on a movie B4, but Rodriguez is REALLY testing my patience nowdays!!! 1 stars
6/11/05 Krisan Graves Ouch, the reviews on this one has to hurt! 2 stars
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  10-Jun-2005 (PG)
  DVD: 20-Sep-2005



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