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Overall Rating
2.01

Awesome: 3.7%
Worth A Look: 7.41%
Just Average: 14.07%
Pretty Crappy: 35.56%
Sucks39.26%

11 reviews, 69 user ratings


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Doom
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by Matt Mulcahey

"Could someone please press reset on the entire video game genre?"
2 stars

Iíve always found bashing on the artistic inadequacies of a movie like Doom to be an exercise in pointlessness. Movies like this are in no way intended to hold up under intense critical scrutiny, and the only productive way of evaluating their merits is to gauge whether or not the intended demographic will be appeased. Considering I havenít watched wrestling since the days of Tito Santana and my video game infatuation ended with the obsolescence of Sega Genesis, I canít answer that question for fans of the Rock or devotees of the influential first-person shooter game Doom is based on. But as a connoisseur of archetypical 1980s hammy sci-fi monster flicks, I found much to enjoy in this shamelessly redundant B-movie.

The year is 2046, and for the past two decades researchers have been conducting weapons and bioengineering experiments underneath the surface of Mars following the discovery of a teleportation system built by an extinct civilization of red planet humanoids.

Anyone who has seen even a fraction of their favorite video storeís sci-fi section knows that bioengineering experiments equate to bloodthirsty mutants, which are exactly what await the Rock and his team of clichťd marines (names like The Kid, Duke and Mac tell you how much thought went into the characters) when they arrive on Mars to investigate the disappearance of a team of scientists.

Thereís also a convoluted backstory involving The Rockís right-hand man Karl Urban and his estranged twin sister, an archaeologist at the Mars station, but all you really need to know about the plot is that large men with big guns shoot at cannibalistic zombie creatures. That is, after nearly an hour of wandering aimlessly around badly lit corridors with flashlights and grimaces while listening to suspiciously unbelievable scientific mumbo jumbo about chromosomes, genomes and cell division.

The hard-assed marines versus monsters bit marks Aliens as the film most egregiously targeted for assimilation by Doom, but itís far from the only one. The script from newcomer David Callaham and veteran Wesley Strick (True Believer, Cape Fear) and the ďstyleĒ of Exit Wounds rap-fu director Andrzej Bartkowiak also borrow bits and pieces from Resident Evil, Predator and Event Horizon.

That said, Doom does make attempts at transcendence, even if they arenít all that successful.

By casting the Rock in what turns out to be a villainous role (the former wrestler had his choice of parts, and decided to leave the heroics to Urban) and toying with audience expectations (the Rock delivers the line ďIím not supposed to dieĒ as he is drug away by the creatures), Doom flirts with the sort of genre deconstruction that has yet to bleed over from the post-Scream horror films into science-fiction.

By including a five-minute section photographed in the same style as the gameís first-person shooter approach, Doom also hints at a sense of self-awareness, though ultimately the sequence ends up looking as ridiculous as Uwe Bollís video game clips in House of the Dead and extends a running time that is already dangerously overlong.

But it isnít these failed attempts at distinctiveness that I enjoyed in Doom, but the filmís overriding sense of familiarity. More than anything I appreciated the film as a nostalgic experience, one that recalled my formative years in the 1980s spent gobbling up any and all cheesy horror and sci-fi flicks at the local mom and pop video shops, when those still existed.

So what demographic will Doom appease? Those with fond remembrances of Xtro, The Terror Within and Creature and too much time on their hands.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=13269&reviewer=255
originally posted: 03/25/06 17:54:06
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User Comments

7/13/09 User Goat was funny, I recognised him as the criminal who killed Bruce's parents in batman Begin 4 stars
2/03/09 WiseGuy Josh Standlee "Better than sex " - Obviously you had terrible sex 1 stars
6/28/08 George Wow!!! This film completely redefines the word "awful". The FPS section was good, but short 1 stars
6/07/08 PAUL SHORTT A DARK, VIOLENT, NERVE-WRACKING, TRIGGER-GIDDY WASTE OF TIME 1 stars
6/02/08 badgersbum Good suspense when it finally got going but not a good film. FPS too short! 2 stars
12/14/07 Damian Eades No-one who played Doom 12 years ago will like it 1 stars
9/14/07 matt i enjoyed it. 4 stars
7/27/07 Wee Todd Didd Pretty poor movie, great game though. 2 stars
7/07/07 Tom Servo Plot was more of a Resident Evil flavor than Doom-verdict= D- 2 stars
7/07/07 al smith pretty good but not enough gore 4 stars
5/04/07 Reesefire Black A shameless ripoff of "Aliens",yes, but still a bloody good time. FPS sequence was cool. 4 stars
3/04/07 --- Actually left the theatre and got a refund. For video game dorks only. 1 stars
12/04/06 Stanley Thai It's a really bad film with some action and bad lightings that you can't see anything. 2 stars
10/30/06 ES about what you'd expect 1 stars
8/21/06 JM Synth Weinberg on the money. FPS sequence was fun but I could have just played the game for that 2 stars
7/30/06 Notch Johnson I love horror movies...but the filming was SOOOO bad...couldn't see a thing 1 stars
6/04/06 Josh Standlee Better than sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
4/09/06 Ron Newbold Play the game - 2 stars
4/06/06 Aldo REALLY REALLY BAD... 1 stars
3/31/06 Michele not really good but fun for the game lovers 3 stars
3/29/06 M. Dido Sure it's dumb - but it's great fun! 3 stars
3/28/06 Indrid Cold Perhaps Silent Hill will be the 1st good video game movie, but I'm not holding my breath. 2 stars
3/27/06 Danny Johanson Yeah, the Movie was crap, but it was amusing as all hell. 4 stars
3/27/06 Brian Meyer Was Street Fighter the worst VG movie? Not anymore. KILL THE ROCK!!!! 1 stars
3/26/06 y2mckay Like A vs P, first hour sucks ass, last 20 minutes kick ass. A popcorn movie, nothing more. 3 stars
2/19/06 ducka now can they make a REAL doom movie? 3 stars
2/19/06 chris f not a bad movie worth watching 4 stars
2/12/06 Anus wonderful work of CRAP!!! 1 stars
2/11/06 movie_buff A failed attempt to the first (great) Predator movie. I fell asleep! 2 stars
2/10/06 the laughing man good, but not entirely great 3 stars
2/10/06 Rocky I can't believe they managed to fvck up a slam-dunk like DOOM! Worse than even The Cave 1 stars
1/02/06 Wiseman Im a hardcore doom fan, This one sucked it let me down, I had to cry 1 stars
12/21/05 MUCH sound & fury signifying Total Crap / Sucks Wish Samantha had farted to take away Eric's 2nd star; no stars for me either way. 1 stars
12/19/05 Anal AHAHAHAHAHHA WHAT A PILE OF CRAP 1 stars
12/18/05 Doomguy Definitely a film for Doom fans; not necessarily for the whole media masses. 5 stars
12/18/05 Goatse People who find this film "intriguing" probably say the same about worms in their stools 1 stars
12/16/05 YJS standard crap at beginning, but gets intriguing as the film goes on 4 stars
12/15/05 Cunt World's Biggest Turd 1 stars
11/26/05 chris shite film man who made it needs to die 1 stars
11/19/05 Duck MST 3000 quality! Tons o fun 5 stars
11/11/05 Dan Smith Great Special Effects, and ot a let down as a video game fan. 4 stars
11/10/05 gescom waste of time and money [even in hollymood] 1 stars
11/09/05 CHRIS EXCELLENT FOR what it is - popcorn action movie 5 stars
11/08/05 Alice This is the worst movie of the year! And I have seen a lot! 1 stars
11/03/05 Anus LAAAADIIIIEEEESSS WE'RE IN LOCKDOWN....Fuck you, just for that you're getting an 'F' 1 stars
10/30/05 Jonathon Holmes Sinks to the idiot shallows of Stealth and Fantastic Four, horrible 1 stars
10/30/05 Wisamane Im a die hard gamer And i think this movie was a pieace of crap, the game was better 1 stars
10/29/05 CONSTANTINE DOOMED... More like "Resident Evil" in outer-space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 stars
10/28/05 Lennart Mol If you know DOOM, then you KNOW this is NOT DOOM. 1 stars
10/26/05 Michael Kondo you'll like it if you like doom, hate it if you dont 2 stars
10/26/05 deadwiz something to do for 2 hours. 3 stars
10/25/05 Nick_Voro Met the expectations of being terrible. But it wasn't not to the level of Fantastic Four. 2 stars
10/25/05 chris fox (the god) garbage 1 stars
10/24/05 bentable wtf 1 stars
10/24/05 DEEDeeDEEe IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE THE MOVIE U CANT PLEASE EVERYONE 4 stars
10/24/05 othree WASTED EVERYTHING, rent it to hear the Rock saying motherfucker. Gamers will be highly diss 1 stars
10/24/05 KingNeutron I thought it was OK, and I haven't even played Doom. 3 stars
10/23/05 Monster W. Kung Lowtax, I hope you mean Doom3, not I and II. If you think those sucked, you should be shot. 2 stars
10/23/05 Lowtax Jhon - THE GAME FUCKING SUCKED TOO. I CAN'T SEE SHIT, FAGGOT! 1 stars
10/23/05 Wisamane THE MOVIE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HELL!!! Stupid catch phrases, Cheesey Music. 1 stars
10/22/05 baseball-nut Should've stayed in the wrestling ring, The Rock sucks as an actor! 1 stars
10/22/05 Wisamane that Fps crap was annoying, IF I WANNA SEE SOMTHING IN FPS ILL PLAY THE GAME!!! 1 stars
10/22/05 Anthony G GARBAGE 1 stars
10/22/05 Jhon grifiths From what i have read some people thought it was crap, well PLAY THE DAMB GAME MORON 5 stars
10/22/05 The Talking Elbow I sincerely enjoyed this film. I think sometimes you critics are too snooty. It wasn't bad. 4 stars
10/21/05 Kristina Williams thank GOD I didnt pay to watch this. 1 stars
10/21/05 Wisamane LOL!!!!! @ WHATEVR, NOW READING THAT BROUGHT ME MORE JOY THAN WATCHING THE SHITTY MOVIE!! 1 stars
10/21/05 whatevr The title of the movie explains the future of all video-game based movies 1 stars
10/19/05 Wisamane LMAO what can i say I knew this movie was going to suck ass...pussy ass hollywood 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  21-Oct-2005 (R)
  DVD: 07-Feb-2006

UK
  N/A

Australia
  27-Oct-2005




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