Jamie Kennedy's favorite movie review site
Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
Advertisement

Overall Rating
2.37

Awesome: 16.52%
Worth A Look: 11.3%
Just Average: 5.22%
Pretty Crappy: 26.09%
Sucks40.87%

8 reviews, 67 user ratings


Latest Reviews

Fortress, The (2017) by Jay Seaver

MFA by Jay Seaver

You Only Live Once by Jay Seaver

November (2017) by Jay Seaver

Friendly Beast by Jay Seaver

Foreigner, The (2017) by Jay Seaver

Tom of Finland by Rob Gonsalves

Happy Death Day by Jay Seaver

78/52: Hitchcock's Shower Scene by Jay Seaver

Death Note: Light Up the New World by Jay Seaver

subscribe to this feed


Underworld: Evolution
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by EricDSnider

"Movies about vampires vs. werewolves should be a lot better than these."
2 stars

"Underworld: Evolution" is a true just-for-fans sequel. It has a simple plot, but it's told so complicatedly that anyone without a working knowledge of the first film would be completely lost. And I can tell you with some authority that if you haven't given the first film a moment's thought since reviewing it 2 1/2 years ago, when you gave it a C- and dismissed it as dull and useless, the flashbacks and recaps in the sequel will provide little help.

We begin in 1202 A.D., where two brothers have met with equally unfortunate fates. Markus (Tony Curran) was bitten by a bat and is now a vampire; William (Brian Steele) was bitten by a wolf and is now a werewolf (or lycan, as they prefer to be called). Are the boys in this family just accident-prone, or are they reckless and stupid? Is this a bloodline that should probably be cut off now, before they breed?

Anyway, William the wolf is out of control, as indicated by this line of dialogue, spoken upon discovering a village that has been massacred by him: "Yet again we arrive to witness this monster's aftermath," with "aftermath" pronounced "offtermath." Markus is a vampire, sure; yeah, he survives by drinking the blood of humans. But his brother is a total psycho about it. Just look at this offtermath!

William gets captured and locked away somewhere, and now it's modern times again. Markus, 800 years older but still spry, is seeking certain keys and amulets and pendants that he believes will help him free William from his prison. Meanwhile, Selene (Kate Beckinsale), a good vampire, is trying to protect her boyfriend Michael (Scott Speedman), a human who in the first film was established as a hybrid -- part lycan, part vamp.

Through it all, the war between vampires and werewolves continues, fought in the countrysides and villages of, what, Romania? Someplace like that. Once again directed by Len Wiseman and written by him and Danny McBride, this "Underworld" film generally keeps the supernatural beings separate from the ordinary humans, making it less a horror film (where you're supposed to be scared of monsters attacking people) than a fantasy film (where unreal creatures interact in a world all their own).

Some of the action is entertaining enough, I suppose, with numerous impalements, stabbings and beheadings splattering the screen with blood (which appears not red but black, as does almost everything in the film's black-and-blue color palette). The movie isn't funny or campy or terribly exciting or very interesting, but it's not egregiously dimwitted or insulting, either. "Underworld" fans -- and there are Internet message boards to prove such passionate individuals exist -- will surely find it satisfying. The rest of us should look elsewhere for bloody tales of the supernatural.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=13771&reviewer=247
originally posted: 01/29/06 17:16:38
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

4/01/12 Cr a soild sequel with lots of action, suspense, and good acting. kate is awesome! 4 stars
4/22/11 man yawn 1 stars
4/08/11 Annoymous Took About Bad Acting and neither Derek Jacobi can't save this film 1 stars
1/27/08 Alan Disappointing, a sequence of chases and gory battles, but wiht no tension and little sense. 2 stars
9/14/07 dude boring 1 stars
7/21/07 Rebecca It's really not as bad as the detractors make out. Complexity is a good thing. 5 stars
7/15/07 tweener Awesome... sex scene is a bit much for youngens, but kate looks great and plenty of action 5 stars
5/28/07 Rrahn I liked it very much!!! Some people should respect other opinions... 5 stars
5/07/07 Charles Tatum Another sequel that no one asked for 3 stars
2/06/07 AJ Muller Needlessly complex yet still stupid; decent action, though, and more fun than the first. 3 stars
1/27/07 khatukz the hell i care about what other people say,i liked the movie,no! I loved the movie!!! 5 stars
1/04/07 del I don't ever want to meet the fans of these movies. 1 stars
11/25/06 Tess i loved all Kates move!,,,but hated the blood-sheds. 2 stars
11/19/06 money911$$$$$$$ loved the movie kate beckinsale is hotter than hell and i loveed all the action 5 stars
10/05/06 Peachygirl Who cares about the movie? It had Tony Curran in it -- he made the movie worthwhile. 4 stars
9/19/06 Pritchett The first was lame, this was lamer. 1 stars
9/04/06 Ana Kile Amazing. Good effects. Good acting. Good story telling. Requirement: Some intelligence. 5 stars
8/08/06 Dragon The Artist The only things that need to evolve is the acting & the video gamey concept!! 1 stars
8/07/06 sterling joseph roberson i love so much 5 stars
7/23/06 Jim Better and more epic than the first, and about five times gorier. Michael, move your arm! 4 stars
6/12/06 Paul Schem 5 stars
4/10/06 mohan action , pretty good speical effects and hot,sexy kate 4 stars
3/29/06 fuzzl10 kate beckinsale manages to pull off the girl action heroine, a feat few women can do 5 stars
3/10/06 Sumixam It was entertaining for a fan of the 1st 5 stars
2/28/06 dfd good movie but the first was better 4 stars
2/24/06 PAG Pretty good flick. Better than the first. 4 stars
2/21/06 Leia Easily one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen. 1 stars
2/20/06 riddsy good film 4 stars
2/16/06 Soha Molina bad 1 stars
2/16/06 Galliwertz Even lamer than the first, if you can imagine that. 1 stars
2/15/06 ES Excellent, if you enjoyed the first you'll love the 2nd 5 stars
2/10/06 Mike How disappointing. Good first, totally confused second film. How often can Michael die? 2 stars
2/07/06 FritztheCat I thought this movie was such divine poop in a can...just like the first. 1 stars
2/03/06 CD crap 1 stars
1/31/06 Jonathon its crap.....but it's better than the other crap out there 3 stars
1/30/06 Gungywamp Even lamer than the original lame-fest... 1 stars
1/29/06 lee Boring 1 stars
1/28/06 CthulhuFhtagn Very poor sequel to a very poor film...why are we shocked? 1 stars
1/27/06 Stimpy of DOTs I really enjoyed this movie, 4 stars
1/27/06 Jeebuzz ...and here I was thinking that the FIRST one sucked ass...WHOAH!!!!!!!! 1 stars
1/26/06 Ole Man Bourbon Sure, it's crap. But it's not as bad as a lot of other crap. Whatever that means. 2 stars
1/26/06 Popem UNDERWORLD is a movie morons always seem to like...what gives??? 1 stars
1/25/06 Jeff Paulin it was a good action movie worth a look 4 stars
1/24/06 Anus I fell asleep while watching this. That's bad, right? TRIUMPH : UNDERWEAR REVOLUTION 1 stars
1/24/06 Runaway Hey! Some loser guy's old loser wife liked it! That MUST mean it's good!!! 1 stars
1/24/06 Lighten-up It's not that bad! It's enjoyable for what it is. My 40yr old wife loves it. 3 stars
1/23/06 K-2 You are all losers for liking this garbage...but we already knew that, didn't we? 1 stars
1/23/06 Paul Critics really have NO lives. RELAX! This movie was good! FUN! Kate you are perfect. 4 stars
1/23/06 Michael Loved it. don't listen to critics. Listen to regular people 4 stars
1/23/06 Chip It was alright. The first one had a better storyline though. 4 stars
1/22/06 LoveTrash This movie ROCKED (worthy of several viewings, unlike other blockbusters) 5 stars
1/22/06 Blutarsky Nowhere near as bad as made out here. Bah. 4 stars
1/22/06 The Talking Elbow Proof that film reviewers should be taken with a grain of salt: I had no problems with UE. 5 stars
1/22/06 JK This sequel was incredible! I loved it. Kate kicked more ass than she did in the original! 5 stars
1/22/06 Zordude I enjoyed it. 5 stars
1/22/06 bluseed This movie rocks!!! and so did Kate! 5 stars
1/22/06 Noodle The same dull people who liked the crappy first will like this second helping of shit, too! 1 stars
1/21/06 Ton I enjoyed this movie! Don't watch it if you don't like vampires. 5 stars
1/21/06 Jessi I think it was a great film and even better than the first! 5 stars
1/21/06 Evil Wolfie Loved the first - This one not so much 3 stars
1/21/06 NoRefill Just really boring. Liked this one even less than the first one. 2 stars
1/21/06 Flyboy Dare I say even more boring than the first...I didn't think that was possible. 1 stars
1/21/06 asme cool!!!!!! yah.... 3 stars
1/20/06 SoHo More trash for the January dumping ground! WAY worse than the original turd!!!! 1 stars
1/20/06 Chappy I hated the original, WHY did I think this one would be any better???? Aaaaargggggh!!!!!!! 1 stars
1/20/06 malcolm how could a film w/beckinsale naked, vampires, werewolves, graphic violence be so BORING? 2 stars
1/20/06 BrianWilly Surprisingly fun and entertaining. Better than the first. 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
Note: Duplicate, 'planted,' or other obviously improper comments
will be deleted at our discretion. So don't bother posting 'em. Thanks!
Your Name:
Your Comments:
Your Location: (state/province/country)
Your Rating:


Discuss this movie in our forum

USA
  20-Jan-2006 (R)
  DVD: 06-Jun-2006

UK
  20-Jan-2006

Australia
  19-Jan-2006


Directed by
  Len Wiseman

Written by
  Danny McBride

Cast
  Kate Beckinsale
  Scott Speedman
  Tony Curran
  Derek Jacobi
  Bill Nighy
  Michael Sheen



Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
Privacy Policy | | HBS Inc. |   
All data and site design copyright 1997-2017, HBS Entertainment, Inc.
Search for
reviews features movie title writer/director/cast