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Overall Rating
2.92

Awesome: 12.9%
Worth A Look32.26%
Just Average: 19.35%
Pretty Crappy: 4.84%
Sucks: 30.65%

6 reviews, 26 user ratings


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She's the Man
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by EricDSnider

"Like 'Juwanna Mann,' but without the intelligence."
1 stars

The main character in "She's the Man" is so stupid that I'm amazed she's able to take a shower without drowning. Her stupidity is a powerful, brutish force, a fog that hangs over the entire film like a stench.

I dislike my fair share of movies, but I don't recall the last time a film made me clench my fists or pull my hair in frustration and exasperation. If "She's the Man" had not been a public screening, I'd have yelled at it on several occasions, urging that dumb cow of a protagonist to fight her instincts and do something un-stupid for once.

"Inspired" by Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" (in the same way that "From Justin to Kelly" was inspired by "Much Ado About Nothing"), "She's the Man" tells the stupid story of a stupid girl named Viola (Amanda Bynes). Viola's girls' soccer team at her fancy Cornwall Prep Academy is disbanded due to lack of funding, and the boys' team -- captained by her jackface boyfriend Justin (Robert Hoffman) -- says girls aren't good enough to play on their team.

So Viola gets a brilliant idea, and by brilliant I mean really, really stupid. Her twin brother Sebastian (James Kirk) has been kicked out of Cornwall and is supposed to start his senior year at rival school Illyria in two weeks. But since he's going to sneak off to London to play with his band instead, Viola figures she'll pose as him, take his place at Illyria, get on the soccer team, and beat those Cornwall jerks at the season opener!

All the ways a girl can get revenge on her boyfriend, and Viola chooses the one that's most complicated, most elaborate, and most likely to fail. Granted, a lot of people in movies arrive at cross-dressing as a solution to their problems much sooner than you or I would, and I accept this as a time-honored comedy device. But in the GOOD movies where that device is used -- and that's about 1 percent of the 2,832 movies per year that use it -- the characters at least TRY to pass as the opposite sex.

Viola doesn't try. Well, I should say she tries, but since she's so paralyzingly stupid, she can't try very hard. I guess my dog "tries" to answer the telephone, too, but it doesn't amount to much. When she remembers, Viola -- clad in a short wig, fake sideburns and mannish eyebrows -- speaks in a slightly deeper voice that, for some reason, often (but not always) involves a Texas accent. But that's only when she remembers. She usually forgets and speaks in her normal voice and says normal girl things, then goes, "I mean, um, (clears throat), what's up 'DUDE'?" Her goal is to pass as a boy, but every five seconds or so she completely forgets that that's her goal and reverts to acting like a girl.

As you have already predicted, Viola/Sebastian develops a crush on her Illyria roommate (it's a prep school, so the kids live away from home), a hunky soccer player named Duke (Channing Tatum). Most of their exchanges follow this formula:

DUKE: I have trouble meeting girls.
VIOLA/SEBASTIAN: Why?! You're hot!
DUKE: What?!?
VIOLA/SEBASTIAN: I mean -- um -- (Texas voice) you're a cool dude.

I'm serious, it's that formulaic: a girly statement, followed by "What?!?," followed by a fumbling backpedal. Over and over again. Several times throughout the film. And Duke never suspects anything is amiss. There's even a scene where "Sebastian" helps Duke role-play how he'll talk to the girl he likes, with Sebastian playing the girl part. Duke remarks that Sebastian is waaaaay too good at impersonating a girl's voice. Yet at the end of the film, when the truth is revealed, Duke is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT FLABBERGASTED to learn Sebastian is really Viola. HE'S NEVER BEEN MORE STUNNED IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE! This outcome was COMPLETELY UNFORESEEABLE!!

During the occasional brief moments when Viola is remembering that she's supposed to be a guy, her behavior is so bug-eyed and jittery that there's no way anyone would buy it. The reason is that the director, Andy Fickman (making his theatrical feature debut), thinks that kind of overdone reaction will be funnier, so he's instructed Bynes -- who is no comic genius to begin with, I hasten to point out -- to play everything up big-time. "Don't just stammer 'er, uh,'" I hear him telling her. "Make a panicked face and flail your hands a little when you say it! Yes! Just like that! Only BIGGER! More ridiculous! Yes! Now do that over and over again for 100 minutes! Now go out into the audience and STAB ERIC D. SNIDER IN THE FACE WITH A FORK!!" Then I wake up, cold and sweaty and unable to sleep for hours.

Duke's crush is on a pretty girl named Olivia (Laura Ramsey), but Olivia thinks he's just a dumb jock. (She's right.) Instead, Olivia likes "Sebastian," mostly because Sebastian is sensitive and doesn't stare at her boobs and seems to know exactly how a girl thinks. Meanwhile, Duke meets the real Viola (he thinks she's "Sebastian's" sister) at a carnival, shares a moment with her, and thereafter considers her a good second choice if the Olivia thing doesn't pan out. This leads to Viola-as-Sebastian trying to get Duke to forget about Olivia and go for Viola. Why it doesn't lead to Duke realizing that Viola and Sebastian look even more identical than twins usually do, I don't know. (See previous: dumb jock.)

My stars, I could go on all day. I hated this movie with an angry, fiery passion. I laughed exactly three times in 100 minutes: once at something David Cross said as the Illyria principal, once at a line from Viola's father, and once at Viola/Sebastian's reaction to being struck in the groin with a soccer ball. ("It burns!" is her best guess at why it's supposed to hurt so bad.) And when even the brilliant David Cross can't improve a movie, you know the movie is unsalvageable.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=14151&reviewer=247
originally posted: 03/16/06 21:53:29
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User Comments

1/16/17 xgbvzvlia USA 2 stars
3/13/12 May Q. Horney How can she be the man? She's a man.....DUH! That's how. 3 stars
4/05/11 Jennifer Marquardt awesome movie, funny, entertaining, must see 5 stars
9/23/10 PAUL SHORTT FEEBLE, SHALLOW COMEDY 1 stars
10/14/09 molly omg duke hot dam boii!!!! 5 stars
10/13/07 David Pollastrini Amanda Bynes is hot in this! 3 stars
12/24/06 Kronk WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD!!! CHANNING IS AMAZING IN EVERY MOVIE (STEP UP BEING 1!!!!!!!) 5 stars
12/07/06 Kourtney Allen very good movie, i would recommend 5 stars
11/12/06 cody a great romantic comedy even for guys, amanda bynes is fine and movie is cool. 4 stars
10/10/06 kristen i thought this movie was awesome i loved all the actors especially amanda aka the best 5 stars
10/01/06 Beau Amanda Bynes has great acting ability, shes so out there and has a great sense of humor 4 stars
8/13/06 Sharon this movie wasnt all I expected but I loved looking at channing tatum 4 stars
8/09/06 Felicia She's the Man *1 fn It was a Awesome & Funny Film ever Filmed 5 stars
8/06/06 she's the man fan " I found this movie over all to be very funny but it's definetly a teen comedy. 4 stars
7/29/06 San Lamar it was so funny 5 stars
7/24/06 Joyce Verhoeven I thought that the film would be nicer 3 stars
7/21/06 DHollings207 Amanda Bynes is a great talent, but this film isn't really funny 2 stars
6/21/06 julian backfece brilliant, she is stunny.. i loved her acting, sense of humor, manorisms. she has talent 5 stars
6/10/06 William Goss Entirely predictable yet surprisingly tolerable, with all the charm of a retarded puppy. 3 stars
4/26/06 tibby i thought it was funny and i really liked it 4 stars
4/20/06 Nienna better than i thought it would b 4 stars
4/10/06 Anthony Cute film but no "Mean Girls". 3 stars
4/09/06 Ron Newbold My daughter loved it - good for that age group 4 stars
4/06/06 Troy M. Grzych This concept has been done time & time again, rent "Just One Of The Guys" instead! 3 stars
3/30/06 Soha Molina no good 2 stars
3/27/06 John Aster Habig Amanda Bynes is hot, especially as a man too bad there were no lesbian scenes 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  17-Mar-2006 (PG-13)
  DVD: 18-Jul-2006

UK
  17-Mar-2006

Australia
  06-Apr-2006




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