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Overall Rating
2

Awesome: 6.38%
Worth A Look: 6.38%
Just Average: 2.13%
Pretty Crappy51.06%
Sucks: 34.04%

4 reviews, 23 user ratings



Stay Alive
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by brianorndorf

"Hollywood hates us all. This is proof."
1 stars

“Stay Alive” is a cheapie horror experience looking to zero in on the gamers who love cheapie horror experiences. Restrained with a PG-13 rating and a severely talentless cast, “Alive” is dreary, silly, and doesn’t understand that the only things scary about video games are the retail prices.

When a close friend dies horribly in his home (Milo Ventimiglia), a group of online gamers (including Jon Foster, Sophia Bush, Adam Goldberg, and Frankie Muniz) get their hands on the prototype video game he was playing, entitled “Stay Alive.” Enthusiastically playing the gothic survival game at first, it soon becomes apparent that the participants are being killed off one by one in the same fashion they were killed in the game, leaving the survivors to try and find a way to keep themselves alive long enough to find the source of the evil.

Ah yes, another week, another miserable horror film a studio is trying to keep a secret by not screening for the press. Is anybody paying close attention to this growing practice? You should be.

If “Stay Alive” wasn’t enough of a fantasy, the production is actually asking the viewer to accept a film about video games where all the main characters are thin, employed, and a couple of them downright good looking. But then “Stay Alive” is so predictably dreadful and so idiotically directed, that little detail should be the least of my criticisms.

Directed by William Brent Bell, “Alive” does have some gumption to try and create a plotline involving gamers. I find it insane to try to please a sour, nitpicking subculture like that one. With video games a notoriously iffy subject matter for cinema, “Alive” looks to dazzle with next-gen graphics and a screenplay crammed with gamer idiosyncrasies (Red Bull product placement, sweatiness), but the gimmick is shoved into the most uninspired horror machinations that could possibly be depicted on the silver screen.

“Alive” is a straightforward slasher film, though obviously defanged from an R to a PG-13 rating so the audience that doesn’t read film reviews will be able to see it opening weekend without mom and dad becoming upset. The characters are set up like bowling pins, and they’re knocked down just as easily. Sprinkle in a mild pass at a traumatic backstory for the lead role, a romance that comes out of nowhere between two characters who barely know each other, some truly heinous acting from anyone who merely steps into the frame, and “Alive” consistently proves itself to be the most idiotic film this year that wasn’t directed by Uwe Boll.

All the audience can do is laugh at what’s being attempted onscreen, including the half-realized idea that this video game world is somehow connected to the real world.

Bell also co-wrote the script, but instead of fleshing out the story to create a more intriguing backdrop to this already dated nonsense, he’s too busy thinking up screenwriting 101 names for the characters, including Phineus, Loomis, Swink, Hutch, and October. I wish that much imagination was given to the rest of the film, which runs through the deadbeat horror traditions (including boo scares and amateur editing) with all the excitement of a tax audit.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=14182&reviewer=404
originally posted: 03/24/06 03:31:25
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User Comments

8/07/10 PAUL SHORTT LIFELESS AND DULL 1 stars
6/02/10 User Name "Stay Awake" would be a more appropriate title. 1 stars
6/02/08 mike stopped watching after 15 minutes. looked terrible 1 stars
3/21/08 Pamela White movie to nowhere 1 stars
11/19/07 B Short To say that this movie sucked would be an insult to those movies that suck 2 stars
11/16/07 David Pollastrini Pretty dull 1 stars
10/23/07 Pedro Altar this movie is nice 5 stars
1/10/07 Tracey Chambers great idea that went nowhere. 2 stars
11/06/06 Indrid Cold Boy does Frankie Muniz's future look bright ... not! 2 stars
9/25/06 Becca terrible!! it was creepy, but the story line just sucked 1 stars
9/21/06 --- I actually left the theatre and got a refund. 1 stars
9/01/06 Mr Bayg The director needs to sew his asshole shut to stop shit like this being produced. 1 stars
7/30/06 Liz Wot was it! i was laughing most the time! i wud say watch it for comedy value! 2 stars
6/10/06 Chris I wasn't scare once, and I'm that idiot who screams in movies like this, boring, very dumb 2 stars
6/04/06 mary I liked it. 5 stars
6/02/06 Robyn Jamil-Walid Marcia, do you mean EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE? If so, good point. 4 stars
6/01/06 Marcia Zarwetten-Grassi Less substance but most enjoyable horror since SKELETON KEY or REINCARNATION OF EMILY ROSE. 4 stars
4/06/06 Daymon it was ok but the concept of it becoming a real 1st PS horrorsurvival game is pretty cool 5 stars
4/03/06 drunken master Good concept, but like many other videogame-based movies, this one failed miserably! 2 stars
3/27/06 Blutarsky Ok, are studio plants giving it good marks? No other explanation. 1 stars
3/26/06 Hayley Alright 3 stars
3/26/06 Ricardo Jimenez I enjoyed the movie 4 stars
3/25/06 lemonhead wow this movie is complete garbage, how did this make it into theaters 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  24-Mar-2006 (PG-13)
  DVD: 19-Sep-2006

UK
  N/A

Australia
  10-Aug-2006




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