Hey kids!!! Now you too can make a hit movie just like the pros! All you need is a copy of our handy dandy Inspirational Sports Drama Home Game. It’s easy - just fill in the blanks, and you’re on your way to getting cheers from the multiplex crowds! To help you out, we’ve asked the makers of a recent Inspirational Sports Drama to show us their own answers:Generic and vague yet possibly-inspirational title: “Pride” Sport: swimming True story? “inspired by” Vintage setting: Philadelphia, 1974 Nonstop retro tunes on the soundtrack: classic Philly soul and similar early 70s hits Top notch actor who delivers a performance better than the movie deserves: Terrence Howard He/she will play: Jim Ellis Hero is now a: great swimming coach Hero was once a: great swimmer Until he: punched a cop who told him to leave a swim meet in South Carolina back in 1964 Which shows us the hero is: too familiar with racial injustice Backup example: he was also denied a teaching job because he was black Main villain: Tom Arnold, sports director of the prep school who refused to hire the hero Hero starts off movie as: poor schlub hired to clean out a rec center before the city tears it down Inspiration comes to the hero when: he fixes up the center’s pool and starts swimming again Hero first meets his team: as they play basketball outside Secondary villain: neighborhood pimp/drug dealer first seen harassing basketball players Plot picks up when: basketballers come inside on a hot day Hero teaches them: how to swim But also: how to respect the neighborhood; reading is cool Stock characters used for team include: macho leader, goofy wisecracker, stuttering shy kid Familiar face to be the hero’s sidekick: Bernie Mac Sidekick’s job: rec center handyman Sidekick as comic relief? yes Bonus conflict: one swimmer’s big sister, a city councilwoman, refuses to keep center open Bonus conflict averted: big sister (Kimberly Elise) is charmed by Bernie Mac, keeps center open Family conflict: big sister does not want brother to swim; school is more important, she says Family conflict averted: big sister is wooed by Terrence Howard; she lets him swim Able to combine bonus conflict and family conflict for story economy? yes Surprise member to join team late: a girl Team surprised by new member because: she is a girl; she’s better than they are New member joins team: the very same scene we meet her Team loses their first game because: they’re not that good; they are cocky First game lost to snooty rival team? yes Are you even going to show any other teams? no (but one is mentioned once by name) Hero thinks all is lost until he arrives to see: team already practicing on their own Team member threatened to be kicked off team because: he is late to practice once Punishment: all other team members must swim laps Threat yelled by coach: “If you walk out, you are walking out on your life!” Kicked off team? no This crisis ever mentioned again in the entire movie? no Rival team appears again: to balk at swimming in the “black neighborhood” Team gets good when: no reason, really, they just get good Montage of winning season? of course Return of secondary villain: Terrence Howard beats up pimp who trashed rec center Return of main villain: the championships Racial tensions averted when: our team shows snooty white swimmers they’re good Pointless catchphrase: “This is our house, coach!” Real-life footage of our real-life hero today runs right before closing credits? You bet!See how easy it is? Now it’s your turn! Grab a real-life sports hero, whip up a few pointless catchphrases, make sure you pour on the sappy music to remind the audience when to cry and when to cheer, and who cares if the rest is remotely good?