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Overall Rating
3.06

Awesome33.24%
Worth A Look: 12.78%
Just Average: 11.65%
Pretty Crappy: 11.36%
Sucks: 30.97%

12 reviews, 280 user ratings


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Transformers
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by EricDSnider

"If you love giant fighting robots who turn into cars, this is like porn."
3 stars

What a big, dumb, silly mess "Transformers" is! And how peculiarly enjoyable, in a bloated, overlong kind of way. It's like spending a day at the state fair: a little bit of actual entertainment, a lot of embarrassingly cheesy attempts at entertainment, and the faint whiff of bull crap everywhere.

The first words we hear are narration: "Before time began, there was The Cube." You know you're in for a treat when a movie starts like that. This Cube wound up on Earth, and two races of mechanical, shape-shifting beings -- the good Autobots and the bad Decepticons -- have come to our planet in search of it. The Decepticons want it for power and will gladly kill any humans who get in the way, while the Autobots, who won't harm humans under any circumstances, want to destroy it.

The aliens take the form of our mechanical devices -- cars, trucks, helicopters, and portable stereos (yeah, that seemed weird to me, too) -- but can also change (or "transform," if you will) into awesome-looking robots that can shoot lasers and stuff. One of the Autobots, disguised as a beat-up Camaro, gets himself onto a used-car lot, where he's purchased. I don't know how the transaction took place, given that the car just showed up out of nowhere and the lot owner wouldn't have a title for it, but there you go.

The proud owner of the Camaro is Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), a slightly spacey high-schooler whose dad has helped him buy his first car. Turns out the Camaro, whose Autobot name is Bumblebee, chose Sam on purpose, because Sam is in possession of a family heirloom that may hold the key to discovering where The Cube is.

The Decepticons suspect this too, having learned a lot by stealing top-secret U.S. government documents detailing artifacts found on an old Arctic expedition. The Decepticons want Sam; the Autobots want to protect Sam but use his knowledge. Sam is suddenly very popular, including with a hot chick from his class, Mikaela (Megan Fox), who is on hand for the sole purpose of giving Shia LaBeouf someone to kiss at the end of the movie.

Meanwhile, a group of U.S. soldiers are attacked by a Decepticon in the desert. The onscreen title tells us where this takes place: "QATAR," followed by the explanatory "THE MIDDLE EAST," because we're idiots who don't know where Qatar is. Familiar names like Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson play the soldiers, but don't get too attached. Most of them simply disappear once the movie doesn't need them anymore.

Back in the States, a room full of nerds is ordered by Defense Secretary Keller (Jon Voight) to figure out how these mechanical terrorists are hacking into the government's system. One of them, an apparently Australian blonde named Maggie (Rachael Taylor), declares with breathless certainty, "There's only one hacker in the world who can crack this code!" Good thing she happens to know him! And that he happens to live nearby! Whew! He's played by Anthony Anderson, and the two of them wind up involved in the military's efforts to stop the killer robots, with Anderson providing additional support in the form of wisecracks.

Part of the problem with all this is that the battle is really between the Autobots and the Decepticons, with Earth (well, Los Angeles, mostly) as the battleground. Introducing a third side, i.e., the military, just complicates things. Does the Army know that the Autobots are good guys? Can they tell them apart? Can WE tell them apart, lacking any prior knowledge of what distinguishes an Autobot from a Decepticon? Since the Army is shooting every robot it sees, including the good guys, does that make the Army bad guys?

The Autobots are led by a semi truck named Optimus Prime (voice of Peter Cullen). There is a momentous scene halfway into the movie when all of the Autobots, the heroes of countless men who were young boys in the '80s, gather together and introduce themselves to Sam. To a certain audience, it must be like seeing Clark Kent change into Superman for the first time.

And wouldn't you know it, the movie ruins it, just whizzes it down the ol' pant leg. One of the Autobots is a black guy (I guess) named Jazz, and he talks all jivey and stuff. Then there's one who gets fussy when a dog pees on his robot foot. They all sneak over to Sam's house to wait for him while he goes inside to retrieve the important family heirloom, and these massive figures, these powerful and noble-minded alien beings, start bumbling around like a bunch of girls at a slumber party. Doh! We accidentally ruined Dad's new lawn! Whoops! We stepped on Mom's petunias! An Autobot actually utters the words, "Sorry, my bad." The jivey one says, "What up, little b****es?" Later, in an act that perfectly summarizes the movie's mindset, one of the robots uncorks his oil pan (located in his crotch area) and "urinates" all over a villainous human. Har!

Optimus Prime does fill us in on the backstory, though. The Autobots and Decepticons lived in peace back on planet Cybertron, until the Decepticons betrayed everyone. And you have to wonder, how did no one see it coming that a group of beings called "Decepticons" might behave, I don't know, deceptively?

Here on Earth, the Decepticons are mean and have names like Megatron and Bonecrusher. One of them takes the form of a police car in order to blend in ... except that where it should say "To Protect and Serve," it says "To Punish and Enslave." Hardy-har, funny joke, but you're kind of blowing your cover with that, aren't you? I wouldn't tolerate that kind of nonsense if I were Megatron. I'm just sayin'.

The film was written by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman (the duo behind "The Legend of Zorro" and "Mission: Impossible III") and directed, if that is the right word, by Michael Bay. Bay has directed only six films prior to this, yet is as reviled as if he had made 50 bad ones. "Transformers" is closest in spirit to his "Armageddon," with its testosterone-fueled plot, its rag-tag assortment of disparate characters, its unnecessary tacked-on romance, and its frequently inane frat-boy humor.

Bay still loves to film the fight scenes in Confuse-O-Vision®, too, rendering incomprehensible action that might have otherwise been exciting.

I noticed, however, that even when I knew who was firing lasers at whom, I still didn't care very much. Yet the preview audience, which we knew to be full of lifelong Transformers fans, which had audibly reacted to seeing the Camaro's pristine engine in the same way they'd have reacted if they'd seen Halle Berry's breasts -- the audience that applauded every time a familiar (to them) Transformer was introduced, they went nuts at the battle scenes. It wasn't that what the robots were doing to each other was particularly spectacular -- goodness knows we've seen humanoids and mechanical creatures fight before -- but it seemed to be the sheer fact that it was THESE robots, the robots of the audience's childhood, that delighted them so.

Speaking as one who remembers the Transformers phenomenon of the mid-'80s but has no emotional connection to it, I say the movie is often laughably corny, no more thrilling than any typical action movie, and akin to "Independence Day" in its reliance on questionable science and dubious logic. I think it must be a film that succeeds only for a specific target audience: people who already love Transformers. For the rest of us, it's no bigger or better than a lot of other summer blockbusters, and quite a bit more senseless than many.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=15538&reviewer=247
originally posted: 07/02/07 19:03:29
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Trilogy Starters: For more in the Trilogy Starters series, click here.

User Comments

2/20/17 morris campbell for kids only 1 stars
2/25/12 dave warning: anyone who liked this movie and is over 10 is mentally unstable 1 stars
10/18/11 Magic This movie already has the devastating flaws magnified by its awful sequel. 2 stars
8/30/11 Anonymous This doesn't even deserve a star. I'm being generous. 1 stars
5/26/11 chris c Complete utter f**kup of a movie, makes the cheesy animated movie a masterpiece 1 stars
5/15/11 stephen nettles AMAZING 5 stars
4/27/11 man great 5 stars
10/14/10 geoffro if you like this film your either 8 and havent seen the cartoon, or a retard, simple as 1 stars
10/01/10 bored mom Playing the 1980s Transformers games is less painful than this utter shitfuck movie. 1 stars
9/16/10 cherocha If you liked this movie, you are fucking stupid beyond words. 1 stars
7/10/10 Meep Has it's moments but they are let down by too much Bay bullshit 3 stars
3/03/10 dude awesome 5 stars
12/25/09 Jeff Wilder A big budget piece of utter nothing. 2 stars
10/07/09 PAUL SHORTT A BIG DUMB, SPECIAL EFFECTS-LADEN ACTION FILM 2 stars
9/12/09 Sugarfoot Indeed originally this would be a 1 star movie, but 2 was so awful I have to give it two. 2 stars
8/28/09 Julian Brilliant effects - poor lead actor 4 stars
7/23/09 Toni Absolute crap... this is the death of American Cinema 1 stars
7/12/09 austin wertman love it 5 stars
7/05/09 The Grinch I give it two stars, only because Tranformers 2 lowered the bar even further. 2 stars
6/24/09 Dan Great movie just to sit back and enjoy it for what it is-a reason to watch big robots kill 4 stars
6/08/09 freak awesome for a michael bay movie 5 stars
5/12/09 Sam Shallow and juvenile "review" that simply stinks of amateurism and ignorance. Pathetic. 3 stars
5/10/09 Ricky this was my favorite movie... those who rated low are practically dumb. 5 stars
4/27/09 Wonko The Sane THIS MOVIE IS THE EQUIVILENT OF DOGSHIT. So Is Bay! Eat a dick Michael Bay. 1 stars
3/14/09 geetus First Transformers, then Friday the 13th, next is Nightmare on Elm St. ALL RUINED BY BAY. 1 stars
3/04/09 Nightbeast it sucked He managed to make the T-formers background characters in their own damn movie 1 stars
2/10/09 Waqas Someone please kill Bay before he makes a sequel 1 stars
2/09/09 Todddi agree with review, how can you actually enjoy this? 1 stars
1/15/09 the dork knight never saw the show. this doesn't exactly make me want to learn more. 3 stars
11/15/08 kunal awesommeeeeeeeeeeeeee................. 5 stars
10/09/08 man love it 5 stars
10/09/08 dude awesome 5 stars
9/15/08 Wolfie Inu An insult to the intelligence of kitchen appliances everywhere 1 stars
9/06/08 Pamela White great special effects but plot a little vague 3 stars
8/31/08 another one fucking shit ass movie 1 stars
8/27/08 Cathy Great movie - We loved all of the action - bought the DVD 5 stars
7/24/08 Croweater888 Appaling bad movie, an insult to the classic 80's cartoon 1 stars
7/19/08 Shaun Wallner Bumble Bee is Awesome!! I wish i had a car like that. 5 stars
7/14/08 Vanessa Sanchez you guys all suck this is my favorite movie loved the humor loved the action loved the love 5 stars
6/14/08 Indrid Cold That high contrast look has gone too far; everyone's skin looks like well-oiled leather. 2 stars
6/14/08 Nick LOVED it 5 stars
6/10/08 Shaun If you're under 10 years old, "slow", or Michael Bay's mom, you'll love it. 1 stars
5/25/08 Echo L. I still can't understand what people liked about this film. It was utterly painful. 1 stars
5/19/08 Jared I would have walked out if I hadn't driven my friends there. 1 stars
5/15/08 The Grinch Peter S's review is 100% on the money. 1 stars
5/08/08 Jérémy Way, way too long. I liked the humor though. 2 stars
5/08/08 Q3A-player stupid 'movie' with lame 'action' 1 stars
5/05/08 LMC People who didn't like this movie, don't like great action movies. 5 stars
4/22/08 scin movie was by far more then i had expected. Great CGI, humurious jokes 5 stars
4/18/08 Bad Motherfucker made the cartoon movie look like Citizen Fucking Kane 1 stars
4/06/08 Lane There are movies with better action that are also not retarded. Don't waste your time. 1 stars
4/01/08 Pixel Boy JUST because it's a movie with transformers in it, DOESNT mean its any good. terrible 1 stars
3/31/08 Hunter This is one of the better movies I have gone to see and I recommend it to anyone. 4 stars
3/10/08 Jayme Isaacs One Of The Best Science Fiction Movies of 2007 5 stars
2/24/08 3li FINALY im not the only one who practicly fell aseep 1 stars
2/16/08 Az As if the 80's cartoon had deeper plot. got exactly what I was expecting. AWESOME! 5 stars
2/07/08 Anthony Feor I got what I expected, Brilliant visual effects surrounded by mindless action 4 stars
1/25/08 man my favorite movie of the year. best special FX ever 5 stars
1/08/08 Risky Bizness good entertainment. not enough time for the transformers though 4 stars
1/08/08 film girl One of the best action sci fi films since terminator 2!!! Loved it 5 stars
12/03/07 ES So much funnier than I thought it'd be with a good story and great action 5 stars
11/26/07 dude nothing short of awesome 5 stars
11/22/07 Quality I don't believe it! Bay still hasn't killed himself after Bad Boys 2, WTF?!? 1 stars
11/16/07 Jay Hey wanna learn somthin go to school, want entertainment go to a movie douche bag 5 stars
11/10/07 g webster pretty nice action,but could have been so much more 4 stars
10/30/07 rodh campy with over-the-top action..loved it for what it was, a Michael Bay movie! 4 stars
10/28/07 Ladiesman217 The director *and* the movie were completely soul-less sociopaths 1 stars
10/27/07 Caiphn Who cares about plot holes, you'll hate every actor so much it doesn't matter. Ridiculous! 1 stars
10/26/07 tracey chambers visually its great but the dialogue is sooo bad its embarrassing 4 stars
10/24/07 Aaron Good movie, haha I can see you Ian 4 stars
10/18/07 Kay It is the worst film in the history of film. 1 stars
10/17/07 trav sucks, SO disappointed 1 stars
10/16/07 action movie fan great action and f/x but a bit video gamish=still summer fun, that's better than boredom 4 stars
10/14/07 Fanofnothing Turn off your brain, sit back and enjoy the ride! 5 stars
10/14/07 Keystra Williams Too many humans, not enough robots 4 stars
10/07/07 Matt L. The review is to critical, it is what it was meant to be a fun movie to watch 4 stars
10/07/07 Mr. Wiggely Good movie for not very bright children, lots of flash and bang for the kiddies and dialog 1 stars
10/04/07 JT Lindroos Plot holes that could have been fixed by anyone over 10. It shouldn't have been THIS bad. 1 stars
10/02/07 wall go see it 5 stars
9/23/07 Jason Honestly it is a mindless pointless crappy movie. But I loved it because it was crap. 3 stars
9/22/07 your mom THAT WAS THE GREATEST MOVIE IVE EVA SEEN! 5 stars
9/19/07 Johnnyfaye When it was over, I was stunned, not in a good way. I still don't know what to rate this 3 stars
9/13/07 dude loved it 5 stars
9/05/07 Mike loved it 5 stars
9/04/07 dude briiliant 5 stars
8/26/07 Booksworm Awesome! Awesome! Fucking AWESOME! 5 stars
8/23/07 E Right on. This movie was astoundingly bad. 1 stars
8/09/07 rory ewart one of the best films ive ever seen up ther with the likes of casino royale and layer cake! 5 stars
8/08/07 suresh kumar.N the tranformations of the robots from one to another is so awesome 5 stars
8/06/07 Bessie the Cow Udderly Garbage 1 stars
8/04/07 Charles Tatum Moronic and pointless, could've been so much better 1 stars
8/04/07 dave cool premise, but the film didn't do it for me. 2 stars
8/01/07 Taurus U hit the nail on the head EXCEPT tht the bad guys hav always been known as the Decepticons 2 stars
7/31/07 Pedrag They missed the boat on this one. It could have been so good! It ended up being awful. 1 stars
7/30/07 damalc childish, but what did i expect from Michael Bay and an 80s cartoon 2 stars
7/28/07 Hello Stranger the plot was thin. characters feel cliched to the max. only cgi and action good. 2 stars
7/27/07 common sense people that hate transformers hate it for thier biased views on the director. 5 stars
7/27/07 David Graham Summers most action packed, transforming experience. 5 stars
7/26/07 Bumble Bee Best summer event movie in recent memory...Bee-Otch. 5 stars
7/26/07 lucas awesome 5 stars
7/23/07 Justin M. Spot on. I just wanted good action, and to make me care about what happened. I got nada.. 1 stars
7/23/07 Bantin "I dont like Michael Bay, boo hoo hoo, what about my childhood?, boo hoo" Losers. 5 stars
7/22/07 Anthony Kane I agree with this review: A stupid movie for the stupid masses 1 stars
7/19/07 Sci-Fi Scoundrel Aaron Great Flick, but the ending action scenes between Mega and Opt. were to damn blurry. 4 stars
7/18/07 Not Blindly Nostalgic I went in expecting a "popcorn muncher" and wasn't disappointed. Not terrible, not great. 3 stars
7/17/07 G-rok So disapointed in this movie. I loved the show as a kid but this was crap. 1 stars
7/16/07 Paul W. I liked it...until the last five minutes when Prime starts to Monologue...then they lost me 3 stars
7/16/07 Roy Smith No expectations going in. Still disappointing. 100% Shit! 1 stars
7/15/07 Bob I have a headache 2 stars
7/14/07 Roy Two and a half hours of product placement 2 stars
7/14/07 bullit16 Not as wretchedly putrid as I expected it to be. Is that a compliment? 2 stars
7/14/07 Dark Enchantress it was a great movie 5 stars
7/14/07 Vincent Ebriega Overlong, but it's one loud fun movie. 4/5. 4 stars
7/13/07 MicTar Embodied everything that the cartoons and comics embodied in the 80's 5 stars
7/13/07 Dr. Jim Vickrey It is a brilliant example of a science fiction action-thriller based on a popular toy. 5 stars
7/13/07 Austin Wertman AWESOME. BETTERTHAN i EXPECTED 5 stars
7/12/07 Adrianne Great family film full of action and pure entertainment 4 stars
7/12/07 jazz I'm confused, are you a retard for liking this tripe? 1 stars
7/12/07 Optimus Prime Please, do not let Michael Bay torture us any longer 1 stars
7/11/07 Rob I'm confused. Are you reviewing the movie or your opinionated views of the director? 5 stars
7/11/07 VirtualRobot Turns out a movie can be terrible but enjoyable. 3 stars
7/11/07 Akiko Pure fun, made of awesome and kick ass robots. By the way, get the stick out of your ass. 5 stars
7/10/07 Tiffany Losco my four year old daughter went to see this with her camp. She loved it. 5 stars
7/10/07 D CGI does a great job of distracting from the lack of story, intelligence, cheesy dialog 1 stars
7/10/07 sol robot designs were good apart from megatron, look like a can of broken spoons 3 stars
7/10/07 mason Transformers is a movie for children, it is very entertaining for a 6-12 year old mind. 4 stars
7/10/07 BoBo Cool Guys Movie. To the reveiwer, If you pull the stick out of you arse you'll enjoy more. 5 stars
7/10/07 Dirk Why the copyright owners choose Michael Bay - its like choosing Ronald McDonald to direct. 2 stars
7/10/07 AJ Muller Dumb fun. Great FX. LeBeouf is really talented. Kickass robots. Lots of fun. 4 stars
7/10/07 Simon Wow it hurts to see this movie's status fanboyly bloated to 'Awesome'. Wow. 1 stars
7/10/07 strongbad Really bad movie with some nice special effects. 1 stars
7/09/07 Georgi Petrov Loved this movie, the action was awesome. 5 stars
7/09/07 JCSC Great movie. Maybe this reviewer should read a comic or two so she can understand the story 5 stars
7/09/07 chrismischief "My Heterosexual Life Partner?" This reviewer's WAY too UPTIGHT to enjoy a movie like this 4 stars
7/09/07 DnBLoxy 1* for Transformer fans, 3* if taken from an action movie standpoint. Way too many cuts. 2 stars
7/09/07 The Chode Movie sucks 1 stars
7/09/07 dubesinhower It's funny how mostly the people who don't like Michael Bay gave it one star. Sweet movie! 5 stars
7/09/07 Ilya C It's action packed, funny, and I actualy was able to care about the bots. It's a fun ride. 5 stars
7/09/07 Pixie Idiotic Michael Bay stuff all over again! 1 stars
7/09/07 deep Ignorant. It takes a sociopath to think calling millions of people idiots is acceptable. 5 stars
7/09/07 Paul You don't "get it"? That's because you're an idiot. 4 stars
7/09/07 Rufuss God you suck! (the reviewer that is) 5 stars
7/09/07 D Right on the money 1 stars
7/08/07 Leo I never saw or played with transformers, but this movie rocked. 5 stars
7/08/07 M perfection! Its a "movie" people!! loosen up.... 5 stars
7/08/07 Punisher I hated transformers as a kid but really liked the movie, but this was an awesome movie! 5 stars
7/08/07 Lynnaea Agree w/ Orndorf. Editing made action hard to watch; otherwise, movie was GREAT. 5 stars
7/08/07 Balrog I think the transformer virgins should try meeting girls instead of defending a BAD MOVIE. 1 stars
7/08/07 Scott This reviewer doesn't know anything about Transformers. So Bay made up "Decepticons" hmm... 5 stars
7/08/07 FilmViewer I think this critic has more of a problem with Michael Bay. GREAT MOVIIE 5 stars
7/08/07 nerds must die Big CGI can;t hide a suck ass movie. Waste of time and overhyped. 1 stars
7/08/07 R2D2 It was an awsome movie, and if you didn't like it, then go watch a chick flick you sissies. 5 stars
7/08/07 Emperor Palaptine After I saw the movie I threw the senate at him. The whole senate. True story. 1 stars
7/08/07 Mayhem Obviously this dumb bitch hasn't seen the cartoon. GET BACK TO THE KITCHEN! 5 stars
7/08/07 LostRock812 The movie had great special effects but it also had a decent ammount of plotholes. 5 stars
7/08/07 KiddieFiddlingRetard Stop touching your balls Touchball. The movie sucked. 1 stars
7/07/07 Touchball I cant believe the amount of kiddie fiddling retards that gave this movie one star 5 stars
7/07/07 Jil Leifson Not evey movie has to have a huge meaning behind it. Can't we enjoy some fun entertaing act 5 stars
7/07/07 BillTheGalacticHero How many internet nerds does it take to sit and clog up a movie review site? A LOT! 1 stars
7/07/07 Jorge All I have to say is that it's been a while since I went to se a movie twice at the theater 5 stars
7/07/07 ad glad i read the reviews before - better than them 4 stars
7/07/07 Schneidend Can I be a pseudo-intellectual film critic by saying "or something" every two sentences? 5 stars
7/07/07 Garrett Jones You shouldn't tout your ignorance as something positive, other that that review was perfect 1 stars
7/07/07 Bill Gosse Orndorf, you're my hero. The only critic here who "gets" the film. AND can write. 4 stars
7/07/07 Jon Most of the "critques" made are attack the original toyline. Maybe try reviewing the movie? 5 stars
7/07/07 RandomReader Its real easy to downplay an action movie based on a toy franchise. The moive is great. 5 stars
7/07/07 Ole Man Bourbon Eye-candy for kiddies, nothing more. 2 stars
7/07/07 Darkstar Giant robots, Megan Foxs' tits and ass. Nice 5 stars
7/07/07 Quagmire All that money and "talent" working on this film and that is as good as it gets? Weak... 1 stars
7/07/07 Nav If you loved transformers you will hate this movie 2 stars
7/07/07 smithee Worst screenplay I've seen in a LONG time. Bay's hamfisted directing sucked too. 1 stars
7/07/07 deepfriedcheese Great CGI and cinamatography. Horrible writing and directing. Overall: Average 3 stars
7/07/07 TP The point of a movie is to get lost in it and have fun. What's not fun about this movie? 5 stars
7/06/07 dufus Internet nerd fanboys unite! Combine to form Nerdatron! This movie sucked! 1 stars
7/06/07 go i wish the movie had been about the Transformers instead of about Shia trying to get laid. 2 stars
7/06/07 Someone Here? CGI: Mindblowing. Plot:Missing. Acting: Horrible. Nostalgia: Lots. 2 stars
7/06/07 dweeby Lighten up, Francis! Of course it's not high cinema, it's about robots, what did you expect 4 stars
7/06/07 Girls Know Nothing go watch notebook for the millionth time or better yet kill yourself 5 stars
7/06/07 Steve Thanks for the reality check. Others' reviews almost tempted me to see more M. Bay crud. 1 stars
7/06/07 rone13 The reason the car is called Deceptico, is because in the cartoon the car has the same name 4 stars
7/06/07 Pixiest This movie sucked so much monkey butt the monkey turned inside out. 1 stars
7/06/07 Seth I own a copy of Pierrot le fou and have a 148 IQ, lighten up a$$...Transformers was F-U-N! 5 stars
7/06/07 Danielle this movie was hilarious, but not as much as this review. 1 stars
7/06/07 You're COLD You make some good points. It was still an awesome movie. Sorry you have no soul 5 stars
7/06/07 KieranDraven A TERRIFIC NOD to the original series and a great movie in it's own right. 5 stars
7/06/07 db fun movie 5 stars
7/06/07 raif10 Why didn't we hear people die or see blood? IT'S A PG-13 MOVIE. Twit. 5 stars
7/06/07 Mad@Critic Is the guy writing this critique retarded? Does he know nothing about the Transformers? 5 stars
7/06/07 tapman Anyone who didn't grow up with Transformers = poor critics of this movie. Best of summer! 5 stars
7/06/07 Juliana True to the comics. Funny, yet robots are still saving the world. DAM good portrayal 5 stars
7/06/07 P.W. Dawn - were you ever even a fan of this show or know anything about it? 5 stars
7/06/07 David Your comments portray your arrogance and stupidity, Dawn. Find another job. 5 stars
7/06/07 Becca You're making us girls look bad by posting about things you obviously don't understand. 4 stars
7/06/07 Mike Seems like you hate Bay and his movies. Why did you even bother watching. Just stay home! 5 stars
7/06/07 Jason Beamaroonietoonie The only thing more entertaining than this movie is listening to "critics" whine about it 5 stars
7/06/07 heavySausage Maybe you and your 'heterosexual life partner' should go rent a porno and lighten up a bit. 5 stars
7/06/07 rob #1 optimus prime had lips! #2 shockwave had an orgasm every time he hacked something.. 2 stars
7/06/07 Non-Hater She's just pissed Megatron didn't turn into a pistol the size of one of his comrades hands. 4 stars
7/06/07 Ryan I thought it was extremely entertaining. Shia was actually pretty good in this. 4 stars
7/06/07 RadioNinja IT'S A MOVIE ABOUT A CARTOON BASED ON A TOY! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT? 5 stars
7/06/07 Crap-tastic The movie is called Transformers. Why were we following pesky humans for most of it?! 1 stars
7/06/07 Jacob B. It doesn't matter how dumb it was. This is a childhood fantasy made reality for alot of us! 5 stars
7/06/07 Scorch Wow, not very kind. Have you ever seen Transformers at any time in your life? 5 stars
7/06/07 Adam R It was an excellent film. 5 stars
7/06/07 GonzoY Sorry you did not have a childhood DT, and for showing boys and girls are different, again! 5 stars
7/06/07 Richard Wow... Stop being so damn jealous at Bay for being more successful at life than you are. 5 stars
7/06/07 CowbotFromHell You are a jackass lady, seriously... Michael bay a sociopath and a talentless film maker... 5 stars
7/06/07 the dirty digger Best Movie in the World. Thank You Michael Bay. I will name my first 3 children after you!! 5 stars
7/06/07 Jasen It's actually pretty good; This reviewer just has a stick up his ass. 4 stars
7/06/07 Juliano Absolutely DEAD ON. If you like this movie, YOU ARE A RETARD. Period. What a disgrace. 1 stars
7/06/07 Dave I fell asleep during the "Best" battle scene at 2:30 in the afternoon. This was awful. 1 stars
7/06/07 DO SOME FUCKING RESEARCH DAWN If you were real critic you would do some research or pay attention they name the bad guys 4 stars
7/06/07 Kenny Valentine The bad guys were orignally called decepticons you stupid noob movie reviewer! 4 stars
7/06/07 LadiesEviloid69 You are awesome 1 stars
7/06/07 David B Apparently the reviewer doesn't realize that Bay didn't create Transformers story? 4 stars
7/06/07 Jared Griffin DT=Idiot 5 stars
7/05/07 Bob Was okay, liked the first scene the best 4 stars
7/05/07 rain Suspension of disbelief is not the same as idiocy. Ever enjoyed a fairy tale? DT = idiot. 5 stars
7/05/07 Brusimm 2 1/2 hours of good voilent robot fun with great spots of humor!! 5 stars
7/05/07 drblakjak It had so corny parts but for the most part it was great. Thought it was really well done. 5 stars
7/05/07 Bflo Reviewer knows jack about the franchise or that this is an intro. 2 more movies coming. 4 stars
7/05/07 Yastreb I liked the action, but I so wanted several characters (including Sam) to die horribly. 3 stars
7/05/07 Optimus was SO FAR from Prime I agree the thoughts found within this review were exactly mine while watching, AWFUL MOVIE 1 stars
7/05/07 Michael C. Loved it to pieces, saw it a few times already. 5 stars
7/05/07 Amused Reviewer is a moron who betrays his dislike of all transformers by complaining about names 4 stars
7/05/07 Tom Servo UNMITTIGATED GENIUS? I suppose next you're going to say ID4 ranks next to discovering Fire 1 stars
7/05/07 John this movie was great how could you give it such a low rating A-PLUS 4 stars
7/05/07 Constantine This review was the best part of Tranformers. 1 stars
7/05/07 Amazed Over 2 years of development for this?? They seriously dropped the ball. 1 stars
7/05/07 Horrible. Horrible. Horrible. One word for this movie HORRIBLE! 1 stars
7/05/07 Mike Nelson and the Bots As "Optimus Prime!" below indicates, only idiots will like the film. It's "roll" moron! 1 stars
7/05/07 Anthony G Effects were MIND BLOWING. But unfortunatly, thats it. 2 stars
7/05/07 ed209 i guess only michael bay could murder optimus prime 1 stars
7/05/07 Optimus Prime! Awesome movie! Autobots...Role out! 5 stars
7/05/07 Movie Scene This crap is Transformers? Did retards wearing testosterone patches make this movie? 1 stars
7/05/07 cinemastinks Lousy, LOUSY movie. CGI was passable, but Bay murdered the material 1 stars
7/05/07 Jo No amount of eye-popping special effects could rescue this STUPID STUPID movie. Utter junk! 1 stars
7/05/07 Ororo Loved Transformers growing up... HATED THIS MOVIE. Dawn's review was perfect! 2 stars
7/05/07 no. I don't care. The reviewer is ugly/wrinkly says a lot of or something to be hip. Too easy. 4 stars
7/05/07 jordan thomson WORSR E MOVIE EVER...MY SON EVEN HATED IT....LAME LAME LAME 1 stars
7/05/07 neliz This movie is leagues above sequeels this summer: spidey3, pirates/shrek/die hard etc. 5 stars
7/05/07 Stuey I am a queer, and I actually liked it (this is for dvd123447). 4 stars
7/05/07 Paul Great movie!!! it is what it is!! It's fiction with excellent effects and good acting 5 stars
7/04/07 Zordude Great popcorn summer blockbuster 5 stars
7/04/07 Pete D Transformers was a blast. 5 stars
7/04/07 Lee "Idiots"? I'll compare craniums w/ you any day, Dawn. Kid Sci Fi fans = Today's Leaders. 4 stars
7/04/07 John Two action scenes with 90 minutes of boredom between punctuated by lame slapstick. Awful. 1 stars
7/04/07 ___ Great CGI/lots of action, but plot is nonexistent,characters uninteresting 2 stars
7/04/07 Benjamin Soulless battle sequences (albeit impressive CGI) and dull, poorly acted teen comedy = bad. 2 stars
7/04/07 RazorFang To Carlos: You are an idiot.ID4 is a helluva great movie (and so is this!) 5 stars
7/04/07 Quigley The fans will love it. It gave me a headache. Good action scenes; cartoony CGI 3 stars
7/04/07 Jeff This review sucks, old hag just jealous cuz shes ugly and cant pay attention in movies 5 stars
7/04/07 Carlos Craig M, best since Indep.Day? You did NOT set your bar high at all! 3 stars
7/04/07 Gee Token intelligent hot chicks = not enough to exuse the rest who were just a pair of boobs 2 stars
7/04/07 Carlos I wish Bay were less confusing w/ battle scenes; w/ Bay lil' plot better than shitty plot 3 stars
7/04/07 Ryan The CGI: awesome. The movie: absolute crap. Michael Bay: communist 2 stars
7/04/07 razz Wonderful! Allowed adults to become kids again & enjoy the movie with their children! 5 stars
7/04/07 BrianWilly Has a bit of an anti-climax, but still a fun, enjoyable movie. 5 stars
7/04/07 Rob Exceelent movie in all aspects. Good story, effects, everything 5 stars
7/04/07 Nolan Craw Awesome movie, if you dont know what transformers is about,then how can you critique it ? 5 stars
7/04/07 Skwib I hate Michael Bay, but he delivered the most fun movie experience I've had in years. 5 stars
7/04/07 martinus one word to the critic..go watch some sappy drama and gloat on that..lolz.. 5 stars
7/04/07 zaw very good cgi, if you're going to put people that don't have exp acting don't let them talk 3 stars
7/03/07 kurt i loved it. everyone i know loved it. i guess some critics don't have any imagination. 5 stars
7/03/07 BayandSpielbergSuck Terrible film.Filmmakers have no clue. Only CGI is any good. 1 stars
7/03/07 Captain Highcrime Their damn subconcious ploy worked: MUST BUY CAMARO..MUST BUY CAMARO..MUST BUY CAMARO 3 stars
7/03/07 michaelb14 decent, but that constantly shaking the camera sucks, let us actually see the transformers 4 stars
7/03/07 Red This movie needed to be about an hour shorter. 2 stars
7/03/07 Mike Incredible action. I was pumped up through the whole move. Best of 2007 BY FAR 5 stars
7/03/07 Sn0wCrash do yourself a favor, go rent the animated movie, save about 20$ AND have fun doing it!!!!!! 1 stars
7/03/07 dvd123447 if you did not love this movie you are a freakin queer 5 stars
7/03/07 Drew The best Summer movie so far 5 stars
7/03/07 KingNeutron This may actually BE the Coolest Movie I have Evar Seen. EVAR. 5 stars
7/03/07 Random Pure spectacle of course; still it captures all that was cool about the cartoon 5 stars
7/03/07 Blizz You're all idiots. It's a Michael Bay film...'nuff said. G-A-R-B-A-G-E! 1 stars
7/03/07 Adrian Pure summer entertainment at it's best. 5 stars
7/03/07 naewar Best movie so far this summer...over Spiderman, Fantastic4, Shrek...fabulous...& I'm a girl 5 stars
7/03/07 craig m best movie of its type since independence day...I know the toys my kids will be asking for! 5 stars
7/03/07 Keystra Williams It's cool, but the cop car wasn't in the final battle? Where'd he go! 5 stars
7/02/07 Pokejedservo Its not perfect but it was very much a pleasant surprise. 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  03-Jul-2007 (PG-13)
  DVD: 16-Oct-2007

UK
  27-Jul-2007 (12A)

Australia
  28-Jun-2007 (M)




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