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Overall Rating
2.3

Awesome: 6.06%
Worth A Look: 15.15%
Just Average: 19.19%
Pretty Crappy: 22.22%
Sucks37.37%

9 reviews, 45 user ratings


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Ghost Rider
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by Peter Sobczynski

"The Lost Biker of Cadavra"
1 stars

“Ghost Rider” may not be the worst big-screen adaptation of a comic book ever made but there is a good possibility that it may the silliest example of the genre ever produced–a perfect storm of a pap that brings together one of the most incoherent plots ever filmed, the cheapest-looking special effects that $120 million can buy and the supremely depressing sight of Nicolas Cage inexplicably embarrassing himself in the service of a screenplay that you would expect to find in Matt LeBlanc’s reject pile.

Cage plays Johnny Blaze, a daredevil who unwisely sold his soul to Satan (Peter Fonda) in order to save the life of his cancer-ridden father. Years later, Satan returns and demands that Johnny live up to his end of the bargain by retrieving a long-missing contract containing 1000 extra-damned souls before it can fall into the hands of Beelzebub’s son, Blackheart (Wes Bentley), and allow him to attempt a hostile takeover on both Hell and Earth with a gang of like-minded demons so patently unfrightening that they make the dopes in “The Covenant” look like The Warriors by comparison. To do this, Johnny assumes the mantle of Ghost Rider, a flaming, chopper-riding cycle whose powers are vague and ill-defined and whose only weaknesses appear to be basic contract law and Roxanne Simpson (Eva Mendes), a chesty news reporter who never met a top button that she liked enough to fasten. (She and Johnny are an ideal match–he’s a stunt driver and she comes equipped with her own airbags.)

There is a possibility that this nonsense may play better with those familiar with the comic book (though the grumblings I heard after the screening may suggest otherwise) but newbies like myself are likely to find the goings-on so perplexing that it makes “Inland Empire” look like “Music and Lyrics” by comparison. In fact, I am prepared to offer one free ticket for “Ghost Rider 2" to the first person who can adequately summarize the story. (This is the kind of movie that drags a character in to explain what the hell is going on–in this case, grizzled caretaker Sam Elliott–and you wind up even more confused than before.) As he showed with his previous film, the risible “Daredevil,” writer-director Mark Steve Johnson has no discernible flair for superhero sagas–the tone switches from serious to campy throughout, the special effects are cruddy (Ghost Rider looks like the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra and that was supposed to look bad) and the Dixie Chicks documentary had better fight choreography than the nonsense seen here.

If there is any relief to be had for anyone stuck watching “Ghost Rider,” it is in the fact that it is so ridiculously bad that it provides more inadvertent laughs than most recent comedies. Most of these laughs come from Cage, who seems to be staving off boredom by occasionally throwing in the kind of weirdo character touches and tics that he used to specialize in back in the days of “Raising Arizona” and “Vampire’s Kiss.” However, not even his supremely self-indulgent performance is able to save this sorry excuse for a film–he may be a walking Zippo lighter throughout but in the end, he just winds up making an ash out of himself.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=15593&reviewer=389
originally posted: 02/16/07 00:34:36
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User Comments

1/30/16 Corbin West This movie is far from perfect, yes, but that just makes it more entertaining. 5 stars
9/02/14 Jeff wtf? 1 stars
4/04/12 Jason Coffman One of the worst comic book films ever. 1 stars
6/10/11 JEREMY Cage makes it worthwhile just because he's in it. 4 stars
7/19/08 Shaun Wallner One of my favorite Comic Books come to life! 5 stars
6/20/08 Raymond If someone says this pile of crap was good, then this someone is totally mentally retarded 1 stars
5/17/08 PAUL SHORTT AN ABYSMAL EXCUSE OF A FILM 1 stars
3/14/08 Juan Trailer trash who go see evil knevel type shit will have a ball! 1 stars
2/17/08 Tiffany Losco I thought it was a good movie, Corny at times. But I like corny. 4 stars
10/01/07 Andrew Kercher Cool SFX, but corny take on good vs. evil. Ho hum. 3 stars
9/27/07 Noelle Stephens With all the hype I expected more, though my hubby and kids liked it alot. 3 stars
9/08/07 Russ I thought it was pretty cool. 4 stars
9/06/07 Alexander In all honesty, this movie defines crap and if you say it was good; you have no taste 1 stars
8/23/07 lilmissfun terrible movie, absolutely awful! 1 stars
8/22/07 Quigley Nice effects, but still an amazingly crappy movie. Sam Elliott is awesome. 2 stars
7/27/07 Fred My god that was a bad movie, the worst wasted minutes of my life! 1 stars
7/25/07 MaDmAN Everything in this movie was lame except for Eva, sorry villains, fx, weak story SUCKS!!! 1 stars
7/05/07 Total Crap Mark Steven Johnson... kill yourself and stop making superhero movies, you ass! 1 stars
6/14/07 Delta At least Eva looked great. 1 stars
4/11/07 rimrhino Would have been better if Cage hadn't overdone the "staring down my arm as I point" thing. 3 stars
3/22/07 David Yes, it sucked. 1 stars
3/20/07 Keltie For just a random movie to see when there's nothing else to do, it was entertaining. 4 stars
3/19/07 dude I thought it was good 4 stars
3/08/07 zaw I liked it. It was pretty good Comic book movie 4 stars
2/27/07 Barbbara Wilson seen it with my 6 year old grandson,It wwas good for him, but to me it was just average 3 stars
2/27/07 Van Allen Shane Jr. FUCKIN SUCKED 1 stars
2/26/07 losermaker dont waste your money for this stupid movie 1 stars
2/25/07 Adam It was poo 2 stars
2/23/07 DarkFather Average special effects CANNOT save a crappy movie 1 stars
2/22/07 Ole Man Bourbon What it promises to be. Eva Mendes' cleavage vs Cage's wig is nice subplot. 3 stars
2/21/07 ghostrider if it is such a sucker of a movie, why is it place 1 in the us? I liked it and enjoyed it.. 5 stars
2/20/07 Browncoat These reviewers are so full of shit.When did some Freddy or Jason P.O.S. EVER have a plot? 5 stars
2/19/07 Joe Van Pelt Very dissappointing 1 stars
2/18/07 Jim Serviceable super-hero fluff. Eva Mendes's cleavage steals the movie. 4 stars
2/18/07 chris. fair to crappy action, some scenes looked like you were watching a movie preview. 2 stars
2/18/07 Marlon Brando The horror, the horror... 1 stars
2/18/07 Tiffany I like nicholas cage but thought this movie was dumb 3 stars
2/18/07 Steve B Action was great, Story line was ok. 3 stars
2/18/07 Bad Critic What the hell did I just see? Kill yourself instead and save yourself the agony. 1 stars
2/17/07 LordJiggy Any film that can make Donal Logue not funny has real problems. 2 stars
2/17/07 dravediggaz dis be da shiggity shizzit - fuck you white muthafuckazzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
2/17/07 Todd Why bother making a "comic book" movie if it's going to suck as bad as this one did? 1 stars
2/17/07 Booksworm I always can count on you guys to pan good movies. 5 stars
2/17/07 Donny M Saw it with Anthony^ Thought the same. 4 stars
2/17/07 Anthony G Movie was really good, special effects were insane, story was lacking but awesome action. 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  16-Feb-2007 (PG-13)
  DVD: 12-Jun-2007

UK
  02-Mar-2007 (12A)
  DVD: 02-Jul-2007

Australia
  15-Feb-2007 (M)




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