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Overall Rating
2.17

Awesome: 7.94%
Worth A Look: 3.17%
Just Average: 25.4%
Pretty Crappy: 25.4%
Sucks38.1%

7 reviews, 21 user ratings


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Premonition (2007)
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by Erik Childress

"You'd Rather Watch Paint Dry On The Time Shifting Mailbox"
1 stars

Beat writer William Borroughs was known to mix up words and phrases until they combined to create brand new sentences. The creators of Premonition make no mention of Borroughs but itís the loftiest reference I can apply to the unbelievably ridiculous outcome being released into theaters. Imagine the first 15 minutes of a Final Destination film looped into some bizarro Groundhog Day that was taken away from the filmís director and re-edited into a lethargic thriller that appears to just give up several times over, even foregoing the twist ending it seems destined for. Not that one would have helped, but the term beat writer takes on a whole new meeting once the credits start rolling.

Weíre introduced to Linda (Sandra Bullock) and Jim (Julian McMahon) during the surprise purchase of their first house together. Lindaís inability to take a hint during this scene is not a good sign for when things will get really obtuse. Fast forward several years and a couple kids later and a police officer shows up at the house to announce Jim has been killed in a car accident. Even weirder is the cop informing her that it happened a full day earlier and she was unreachable. Pay very close attention to this fact, because its one that the film will never get back around to exploring or explaining.

After preparing the funeral details, Linda wakes up the next morning to see Jim eating breakfast as usual as if nothing ever happened. A miracle! All is fine with the world. Until she gets up the next morning and faster than you can say ďI got you, babeĒ heís dead again and the funeral guests have arrived. Is Linda going nuts? Why canít she remember the empty bottle of lithium in her sink, the ripped up yellow pages or why her daughter has stitches all about her face? Itís enough to have her committed. Which she is under the watchful eye of the creepiest psychiatrist (Peter Stormare) to come down the medical ladder since Michael Caine in Dressed to Kill. But only briefly as she awakes again in her own bed in time to reenact the season nine premiere of Dallas.

Believing that sheís in some cosmic calendar jumble, Linda begins mapping out the days of the week and piecing together what she knows. Itís hard to comment on the ludicrous nature of this decision since itís the only scene in the film displaying any sort of energy whatsoever. Donít waste your time trying to attach a motive to the universe playing games with this suburban housewife. Pay no attention to the bright light eminating from the forest outside her window as if Jeff Bridges had just landed again. Ignore Bullockís daughter doing her best Tawny Kitaen impression through the glass kitchen door. Donít even prepare yourself to be jerked around by what transpires afterwards. Cause nothing but these words can prepare you for how lackadaisical Premonition approaches its conclusion.

Normally such lassitude is the result of a higher power in the filmmakersí brains; an approach away from giving audiences a quick thrill and searching for a more spiritual connection to the meaning of life. Uh, no. Not here. The attempts at providing strife in the marriage, giving Linda pause in wanting to follow through in actually saving her husband, doesnít have the scenes it needs for basic human drama for us to accept any sudden changes in motivation. There is no suggestion that Linda is unhappy with her situation and her reactions to both Jimís death and resurrections appear too genuine to be just mere shock and relief. If Linda is experiencing some Phil Connor appreciation of all things, you canít just bring in a priest out of left field to put the rubber stamp on it when there hasnít been so much of a cross to burden unless the first hour counts. The whole thing will have you clamoring for the inconsistent time warp of The Lake House, which is inadvertently referenced here when another one-scener suggests buying one.

I will confess to being slightly distracted during my viewing of Premonition as I had been convinced in its unveiling that I was somehow witnessing a complete ripoff of a film I had seen at the CineVegas film festival a year earlier. That film was Danika starring Marisa Tomei as a housewife with kids who begins having visions of the future. She comes to believe her husband is being unfaithful. She seeks out a psychiatrist and eventually begins to piece all the little things together to form a tragic whole. Premonition has a lot of little moments and clues suggesting that it was headed for the exact same ending. And while that would have been stupid and perfunctory, it would have still been a million times more cohesive than playing it about ten octaves under the irony radar. Although I may have visions of how many of Hollywoodís thrillers end these days, Iím at a loss to recall one of late that I could hear the groans of even the most forgiving audiences over a week before its release. A word of advice though to everyone who is capable of these Final Destination forecasts though: If you know someone is scheduled to shoot off their mortal coil in the middle of a highway, maybe itís a good idea to tell them to get out of the car and run towards the woods instead of pulling a Uwe (think about it) and stopping smack dab in the middle of said road. Shayna, they bought their ticketsÖ

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=15606&reviewer=198
originally posted: 03/16/07 00:00:00
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User Comments

5/06/11 Nikki Smith I enjoyed this film, and reccomend it to all of my friends. Sandra Bullock is so awesome!! 5 stars
6/12/10 PAUL SHORTT DREARY SUPERNATURAL THRILLER 1 stars
12/12/08 Richard Remington I can't believe she went wacko and got him killed, should have laid off the booze and pills 5 stars
11/12/08 mr.mike Worthwhile till about the halfway point , then drops like a stone. 3 stars
10/07/08 Shaun Wallner I really enjoyed this film. 5 stars
5/23/08 R>A>Keeler Sandra desperately need someone to tell her "NO" when something like this script comes alon 2 stars
1/26/08 Pamela White plot twisted but clues have holes in them 3 stars
10/22/07 mike this movie was terrible but not even close to the number 23 to being the worst of 2007! 1 stars
10/17/07 Joey So Disappointed in Sandra Bullock! I Love Her, but What Was This Crap? 1 stars
9/14/07 Marty never believed the chars actions or dialogue. why is she a timetraveler? 2 stars
9/07/07 Alice Sandra=one of the few real women on the screen, ok (rent) movie ! 4 stars
8/12/07 Joe Smaltz tedium turned into irritation, followed by Huh? 1 stars
7/31/07 Tamatha Burrus Not Bad but I wished I had waited till it came on TV. 3 stars
7/31/07 Monday Morning This wouldn't have even been a "just average" TV show. Save your $$ & time. 2 stars
7/26/07 Gail One of the most confusing & illogical movies yet 1 stars
6/14/07 Austin wertman sucked 1 stars
4/05/07 William Goss Initially intriguing, but falls apart with each passing day, down to just tacky final shot. 2 stars
3/27/07 fools♫gold Trickistothinkofwhetherthechick"loved"thelyingprick!Seehowshestressedcareforkidsattheend! 5 stars
3/21/07 Lori excellent 5 stars
3/20/07 Dan's girlfriend Gutsy hunky call instead of describing the woman. He has to cure 3 diseases, come on. 4 stars
3/20/07 James Dunn Not as bad as I thought it would be, althought the ending just fell apart. Predictable. 3 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  16-Mar-2007 (PG-13)
  DVD: 17-Jul-2007

UK
  16-Mar-2007 (12A)
  DVD: 16-Jul-2007

Australia
  19-Jul-2007


Directed by
  Mennan Yapo

Written by
  Bill Kelly

Cast
  Sandra Bullock
  Julian McMahon
  Nia Long
  Kate Nelligan
  Amber Valetta
  Peter Stormare



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