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Overall Rating
2.97

Awesome: 18.66%
Worth A Look: 17.7%
Just Average: 21.53%
Pretty Crappy26.32%
Sucks: 15.79%

9 reviews, 155 user ratings



Spider-Man 3
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by David Cornelius

"Consider this web way too tangled."
2 stars

The “Spider-Man” movies are well-formed parts stuck in an underwhelming whole. The first film was an excellent origin story lost in a sea of undercooked plotting and uninspired action; the second, while an all-around improvement, still fell short in terms of connecting its pieces properly, leaving us with too many holes in between the great bits. These are films undone by lazy scripts too uninterested in tying things together properly, especially in the villain department.

Now comes “Spider-Man 3,” which again offers a gallery of solid scenes, then fails to connect them in any reasonable manner. The problem here is that, frankly, it’s too much movie: in addition to the three villains, two of whom require in-depth origin stories of their own, we must also wrap up the romantic storyline of the leads, continue the hero’s own personal journey, further complicate his origin tale, give ample screen time to a fan favorite female character, remember to do the same for the cranky boss, find room for the obligatory Bruce Campbell cameo, pause to let Stan Lee have some screen time, toss a bone to a character who might become a top baddie in a later sequel, and try to work in some completely needless action scenes so the fans don’t complain about too much drama and not enough thrills - all within a tight two hours, twenty minutes.

Again: too much movie. There were many times when major characters would reappear after a lengthy absence away from the plot, and I’d realize I had completely forgotten than they were in the darn thing in the first place. The screenplay (by Sam Raimi, who once again also directs, Ivan Raimi, and Alvin Sargent) tries so hard to juggle so many ideas that there are aching gaps in the storyline as a result - it’s twenty, thirty minutes in between plotlines, as the movie tosses aside the Sandman thread in order to show us Peter Parker’s problems with Mary Jane. It’s as if the studio was so worried about its stars not renewing their contracts that they opted to cram everything they could into this potentially final chapter, and never mind the consequences.

What a movie this big needs is focus and energy. Which is quite possible, even with so many things happening at once - watch “The Empire Strikes Back” or “The Return of the King” again to see epic fantasy action bounce from place to place with style, or “Batman Begins” again to see an overstuffed comic book flick manage to handle too many characters by smartly weaving them together in all the right spots. With “Spider-Man 3” (even the hyphen feels unwieldy), the script doesn’t seem to want to be bothered with the chore of connecting the dots; at times the movie feels like the result of some do-it-yourself superhero randomizer - shuffle the same scenes fifty other ways, and you more or less get the same movie.

It’s tiring and tiresome. How can we possibly be thrilled by the idea of, say, a deadly Spider-Man look-alike if we never have enough time to learn about him, to see how he fits into the grand scheme of things? Folks itching to see Venom at work will walk away disappointed, having been given a story that can only deliver Venom as an excuse for one action set piece, the end.

For those unfamiliar with the Venom character: Once upon a time in the comics, Peter Parker was given a spiffy new black costume to replace his famous red-and-blues. Problem is, the suit was an alien life form with a life of its own. Spidey ultimately ditched the suit, only to later have it fall into the hands of whiny rival Eddie Brock, who allows the alien-suit-thing to overtake him, becoming the deadly Venom.

All of this is here in “Spider-Man 3,” but the catch is, this isn’t all of “Spider-Man 3.” It should be - needs to be - all there is to the movie. (Or, if not this movie, then some other Spider-Man movie.) We need enough screen time for us to watch Peter discover and then ditch the black suit, and then for Eddie to do the same (minus the ditching). This should be a singular tale, enough to get the ins and outs of the characters, their inner conflicts, their outer battles.

But watch how Raimi and company use the Venom story instead. A meteorite crashes, black ooze wiggling out, finding its way to Peter Parker. Some thirty minutes later, long after we’d forgotten about it, we see it jiggling around his apartment, just to remind us it’s still there. Another thirty minutes or so pass before we see it finally take over Peter’s body. Peter spends the next chunk of the movie being evil (kinda like the “Bad Superman” sequence in “Superman III,” only instead of de-leaning the Tower of Pisa, Peter Parker ogles babes, buys a black suit, and musses his hair). We ignore the whole storyline for a while, spending time instead on other plot points about which we had by now forgotten. And then back to the black suit, some badness, some regret, and a big tearing-off-the-suit scene (complete with shower-as-baptismal-metaphor epilogue).

Before we actually get to Venom (some, what, two hours into the movie?), let’s look more closely at the “Bad Peter” plotline. The suit amplifies aggression, and following a sequence in which Spider-Man goes nuts and Peter Parker screams at his nice landlord, we watch him discover his mistake and make amends to those wronged. But then he brings the suit back out, hoping it will help him strike vengeance on the Sandman (he is revealed early on to be the real killer of Peter’s uncle, which is an unfortunate stretch for the franchise, as it negates some key moments in the first movie). The earlier apologies, then, become phony. Granted, that may have been the writers’ point - treat the suit like an addiction, and Peter like an abuser, to whom backslides are common and apologies are shallow.

But it doesn’t seem like that’s the intent here. Instead, it’s merely sloppy writing, as if the apologies were meant to be used later, when they would fit better within the overall story. Later, you see, Peter realizes he’s gone too far after he strikes Mary Jane, the main words there being “too far.” By having our hero become so vile that he punches his girlfriend, we need more than some flimsy “oh, thanks for saving my life at the end of the movie, I guess that makes up for the domestic violence” gloss. We need to see that same heartfelt apology that Peter delivers an hour or so earlier to the landlord, only more. Sure, we know Spider-Man isn’t a jerk anymore, and the suit was to blame, etc., but the story still needs to openly reconcile all of this. It does not, assuming that we will forgive Spidey on our own terms. By taking the hero to the darkest depths but then dropping the ball by skimping on his return to the light, we’re left with a gaping hole in the film.

Back to Venom. It’s not until after all of this goes down that we finally see him, and here’s how it works. The black goop falls on Eddie Brock and he becomes Venom. Cut to: Venom finds Sandman in an alley and says something along the lines of “hey, let’s team up and go kill Spider-Man.” Cut to: a news report shows Mary Jane has been taken hostage, Venom has placed a massive web atop a construction site, and Sandman, now able to grow dozens of times his original size, is swatting at the cops trying to stop them. This is our lead-in to the big finish, a four-part battle royale. But come on. We obviously need a cool half hour, maybe twice that, to go from point A to point B in this part of the story, yet the writers - perhaps in a panic that they had maxed out the running time by having Kirsten Dunst dance around the kitchen while oldies play on the soundtrack (add in a ladle used as a microphone, and suddenly Sam Raimi’s remaking “Boys on the Side”) - figure by this point, nobody in the audience will care if we just say enough’s enough, let’s just skip right to the end.

You notice that I have not even mentioned the third villain, Harry Osborn, the “New Goblin.” We do not need him here at all, and the filmmakers know it. Why else would they conk him on the head in an early scene, give him short-term amnesia, and write him out of the picture until the plot requires he come back in? His appearance here is entirely out of obligation: “Spider-Man 2” ended on a cliffhanger in which Harry was about to turn into the new Green Goblin. But Raimi shows no interest in dealing with him in this outing, despite the promise of the previous film. The writers find mediocre ways of working him in, mainly as a romantic rival, and then they try hastily to link him to the movie’s themes of revenge and forgiveness (which works in spots and fails miserably in others - especially the finale). He’s also given a flying snowboard and a goofy helmet, which seem added in merely to sell toys; even the filmmakers can’t bring themselves to care about these gizmos as an actual character point. For the most part, Harry’s a fifth wheel, a plot point hanger-on, a storytelling and merchandising obligation.

The same can be said of Venom himself. Aside from the middle segment, in which Peter Parker unleashes the power of the black suit (again tying into the revenge/forgiveness themes), there’s no need for the black suit at all. (Heck, you could have Spider-Man get mean just by himself, really. The black suit is just a convenient item to help push ideas forward.) The first three-quarters of the movie show little to no interest in the Venom character, and once he shows up, he’s just some generic villain. Team up against Spidey in a big fight? They could’ve used anybody for that part. Why not Mysterio?

It’s obvious that the Sandman is intended as the real center of things here, considering the ample time given to his backstory and the links to the movie’s themes. On its own, this story might have worked wonders, especially considering Thomas Haden Church’s excellent performance, a few scenes detailing the character as a reluctant villain haunted by his own past, and special effects that truly wow (minus that dopey end sequence). Alas, the Sandman storyline keeps getting bumped aside for the other chapters in this overcrowded affair. So by the time we reach a major confrontation between Spider-Man and Sandman, instead of the emotional and physical wallop it should deliver, the whole bit comes off with a shrug - as if the screenplay knows both will meet again at the end, so why bother wasting any good moments here?

What makes “Spider-Man 3” such a letdown is that there are many talented people involved here, both in front of and behind the camera. In addition to Church, we get fine performances from Tobey Maguire and James Franco; Topher Grace makes a brilliant Eddie Brock, a sniveling-weasel version of Peter Parker; and Bruce Campbell and J.K. Simmons prove why their comic relief asides are the best things in these movies. (Coincidentally, the two weak links in the cast are the two key romantic interests: Dunst, as Mary Jane, is her usual blank self, while Bryce Dallas Howard brings little to the Gwen Stacy role - perhaps due to the character being far too underwritten.) Raimi directs with his usual glorious flair, and when the screenplay’s dealing on individual scenes, it can manage to really zing.

Ah, but it’s in pasting everything together that the movie collapses. By the end, even the cast seems tired of the colossal mess we just had to watch. “Spider-Man 3” is three, maybe four movies clumsily crammed into one, a jumble at best and a junkyard at worst. And like its predecessors, its occasional good parts can’t overcome a lousy whole.

Oh, and I didn’t even mention the engagement ring, or Harry’s butler, or the jazz club dance sequence, or the Sandman’s ill daughter, or...

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=15898&reviewer=392
originally posted: 05/07/07 22:51:54
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User Comments

10/29/16 morris campbell overstuffed but good IMHO 4 stars
3/28/16 Aj wales Underated when looking back. Begining was flat compared to 2. Compared to newer movies it w 5 stars
9/02/14 Dude Wow they really fucked up 1 stars
7/18/13 Joe the plumber what the hell was that? 1 stars
6/29/13 Neil i really cant believe sam did this 2 stars
2/01/13 Kcaj Ive lost faith in humanity 2 stars
8/19/12 11 not enough venom 2 stars
8/08/12 Kcaj too much going on for one movie and too many cheesy parts. Im sorry spidey... 3 stars
6/30/12 cr a good sequel with good effects and villians. good 3 stars
1/18/12 Marc DC if this isn't the most wackest super hero films, I don't know what is... 1 stars
9/10/10 zenny tragically awful. At least 3 half-ass movies in one 2 stars
6/11/09 Nick Seemed like I was watching something from the 60's 2 stars
4/02/09 Dane Youssef Uneven, but not as bad as reputation proceeds. The cast is as great as ever, though. 4 stars
1/25/09 Samantha Pruitt pure cheese, Topher Grace was awesome though, there are some really funny parts. 4 stars
11/20/08 KB5 Not my favorite, wish I had waited for the DVD renatal 3 stars
10/27/08 Michael M Too long and the plot was a little too complex with three villains. Mildy entertaining. 3 stars
10/24/08 Gloria D. It was pretty good for a sequel, entertaining 3 stars
9/30/08 Danny I thought this wasn't all that bad...certainly a good villain setup, except Sandman 4 stars
9/25/08 Shaun Wallner Awesome Cast!! 5 stars
9/12/08 DW Smith What a waste of a perfectly good villian. 2 stars
8/21/08 black_queen_marches completely overrated. too much crying, too many villians. what a waste 1 stars
6/20/08 David V Good action scenes but too much crying, dancing, and overacting. 3 stars
5/14/08 PAUL SHORTT DECENT ENOUGH 3 stars
2/01/08 Pote Was somewhat bored by 1 & 2 but enjoyed this more, despite some bad editing and progression 4 stars
1/25/08 man weakest of the series but still enjoyable 5 stars
1/23/08 Charles Tatum Fantastic, the best of the series 5 stars
1/17/08 X Wang Entertaining, action movie - don't take the cheesy humor too seriously 4 stars
12/27/07 Taylor Fladgate Whoa...bad acting, bad script...what a waste. Hated it. 1 stars
12/14/07 zenny such a sad waste... 2 stars
12/08/07 Milky Joe Cringe worthy - parituclarly the scenes where Peter Parker turns "bad". Too many villains 2 stars
11/26/07 dude underrated 5 stars
10/17/07 Beau Not as good as first two, but somehow was half decent! still worth seeing 3 stars
10/02/07 wall dude!!! I love it 5 stars
10/01/07 Andrew Kercher Good sin/redemption/forgiveness story, but overacting disappoints. 1 & 2 are better. 4 stars
9/16/07 David Pretty good but still a littledisappointing. 3 stars
9/13/07 dude underrated 5 stars
9/07/07 Indian dude worst spiderman movie ever. This movie was soap opera between Peter Parker and Mary Jane 1 stars
8/06/07 ravenmad since when did movie franchises start selling AXE deodorant spray? 3 stars
7/13/07 MaDmAN Huge disappointment way too much going on 3 stars
7/10/07 VIVEK KRISHNAN VERY BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! 1 stars
7/02/07 William Goss Overstuffed and underrewarding. 2 stars
7/01/07 spider2.0 One of the best movies this year.Disagree? take it with venom 5 stars
6/30/07 Mr.Jiggy The Movie is good, could be better though. The end gives alone a reason to watch it twice! 5 stars
6/23/07 Bob loves to lick nob Yo with an increase in the violent content that's what makes it a Great film 5 stars
6/16/07 Ron Newbold Ok but disappointing - Too many villians and a weak resolution 3 stars
6/11/07 Kyle What a con!!! It was really painful to watch such atrocity 1 stars
6/11/07 Total Crap PIECE OF SHIT!!! Don't believe anyone who gives this 5 stars! It Absolutely sucks! 1 stars
6/10/07 Alice Boy this sucked ! Liked 1 and 2 by the way. 1 stars
6/08/07 Harry Mediocre 1 stars
5/30/07 ES The movie starts brilliantly but it's all down hill after the dance routine 2 stars
5/28/07 pin Uh, why all the face time? Wear the masks. Hob-Goblin = "New-Goblin?" 3 stars
5/27/07 Jason it was a good movie, it was just different from the other two 5 stars
5/26/07 Ms_ArtGeek too many villains, too many plots & plot holes, too much weeping. sorry to say, it's crap. 2 stars
5/25/07 Mike Not as great as first 2 SM's but still a sweet movie!!! 5 stars
5/24/07 Desperado Plays like an infomerical about forgiving an being nice, yet its stupid, really stupid 1 stars
5/24/07 ebert great 5 stars
5/24/07 runes one pretty wack film guys....too emo 2 stars
5/23/07 Simone I understand your POV David, but I really enjoyed Spiderman 3 4 stars
5/20/07 Anthony Feor The worst exuse for a superhero movie. Utterly dissapointed! 2 stars
5/19/07 Snail Pretty darn entertaining. Venom...wasn't Venom though. 5 stars
5/18/07 Koitus The only scene I hated was the musical number. Otherwise, thought it was good. 4 stars
5/17/07 johnnyfog If the other 2 movies didn't exist, people might enjoy it more. Too much Sandman! 4 stars
5/16/07 Marlena This movie was way too over-hyped. It didn't live up to all the advertising. 4 stars
5/15/07 Richard A rather complicated assembly line for producing a somewhat more mature Peter Parker 4 stars
5/15/07 967 It's not a bad movie, it's just been overshadowed by the other ones. Needs more Venom tho. 3 stars
5/14/07 doom By far best movie and yes ppl who gave this a 1, 2 etc are retarts 5 stars
5/13/07 Total Crap An overhyped montage of super-villians and with too much plot-holes. It killed the series. 2 stars
5/13/07 Jim "Jeeze, you know, that information might have been a little more useful to me yesterday." 2 stars
5/13/07 Galderak Sad thing is this movie still made a lot of money, and people will see it as a success 1 stars
5/12/07 Uncle Salty terrible. simply terrible 1 stars
5/12/07 Vince Too poorly put together, too many plot holes 2 stars
5/11/07 Escobar There is more to a movie than special effects, THIS MOVIE SUCKS! 1 stars
5/11/07 Bradford BRUCE CAMPBELL!!! SWEET SPECIAL EFFECTS TOO!! 5 stars
5/10/07 Seanz0rz What a fucking horrible movie. And who noticed Harry's lazy eye? 1 stars
5/10/07 Tiffany Losco Good special effects, but to much going on. I love MJ 4 stars
5/10/07 Thelonius Bruce Campbell saved this crappy movie from being a 1 star 2 stars
5/10/07 mr.mike not the best , but not as bad as you've heard 3 stars
5/10/07 Dave S. Pompellini, you are an idiot. this movie was BEYOND BAD. Worst I have seen in many years. 1 stars
5/10/07 gn2plad well theres two hours of my life ill never get back 1 stars
5/09/07 Jonny bad progression 3 stars
5/08/07 Nash EPIC. 5 stars
5/07/07 venom666 go kill yourself Ian, along with other naysayers - best movie ever!! venom rules!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
5/07/07 Kisuta Too much going on 3 stars
5/07/07 tyler Terrible: the best part was the Harry Potter and Pirates trailers! 1 stars
5/07/07 David Kimble Disappointed in the movie, but still liked some of the special effects 4 stars
5/07/07 Jeffoi Spider-man is not emo, MJ is not fugly, and Venom is not a weakl simpleton. Blasphemy! 2 stars
5/07/07 Namons The butler cleaned the wound to find the piece of glider that's all he said 4 stars
5/07/07 movieman awesome 5 stars
5/07/07 Ian I'm still in utter disbelief, how did such an awesome movie end up being total crap? 1 stars
5/07/07 Steve People were laughing at it during my screening, a megaplex mess 2 stars
5/07/07 Tony forget the comics-but not the web. spiderman 3 rocks! 5 stars
5/07/07 Tracey Chambers nots as good as I thought it would be. first two much better 3 stars
5/07/07 huong caitlin nguyen great special effects, but loose plot, bad script, too long 2 stars
5/06/07 sam no superhero should ever have a DOUBLE CHIN! wtf, tubby macguire? 1 stars
5/06/07 Christopher Utter Disappointment. 1 stars
5/06/07 Dissenter TERRIBLE! The only thing that saved me from leaving were the hot babes inthe movie!! 1 stars
5/06/07 Jiz Too many plot threads with too little development. Not a BAD movie, but far below 1 and 2. 3 stars
5/06/07 Mel reminds me of Godfather 3; if there was no #1 and #2 , #3 would have been ok... 3 stars
5/06/07 somebody too much male crying. too many villains. the fight scenes were pretty cool... but the previ 3 stars
5/06/07 Carlos R. Guzman "Curse of #3"hit Batman/Supes/Xmen hard; only stings SM3 a bit-more Gwen&Lizard in #4!!! 4 stars
5/06/07 Paul It wasn't as great, but still really good. Certainly better than what people are saying. 4 stars
5/06/07 Serpen Phlox Sam, not only destroyed Venom, Spiderman franchise is death too 2 stars
5/06/07 Mark Neace This movie does not suck AT ALL, it's a great film... People are too critical, I loved it. 5 stars
5/06/07 Amy Shipway correct me if im worng but werent the x-men team doing superman instead of x-3? 1 stars
5/06/07 Captain Highcrime Look carefully at the female extras: there isn't a woman over 30 walking the streets in NYC 4 stars
5/06/07 Vampt Vo Fun for Spidey fans, but the pacing is off and there are too many stories crammed in here. 4 stars
5/06/07 Dumstein bad bad, couldn't be any worse than this. Hopefully they make it up in the 4th movie... 1 stars
5/06/07 Vik very cheesy and unbearable to watch at times..raimi should quit the franchise now 1 stars
5/06/07 Stephen Not as good as it could have been, lacked focus and too rushed. 3 stars
5/06/07 noops never upto the expectations.. 2 stars
5/06/07 Jeff Anderson The worst of the 3. Overproduced, desperate & no fun at all. Sam Raimi's BETTER THAN THIS!! 1 stars
5/06/07 Marty yes it's highly fictional but c'mon s3, at least try to make SOME sense. terrible. 2 stars
5/06/07 KingNeutron MJ acted like a total idiot but the film was lots of fun anyway. Venom better have survived 4 stars
5/06/07 TJ Sclafani This movie proves that Tobey McGuire has been severely miscasted as Spidey 2 stars
5/05/07 Viper Villian overload, too much male crying, Venom was completely underused as a villian. 2 stars
5/05/07 Keystra Williams The worst movie I've seen this year by far. VERY disappointing. 1 stars
5/05/07 Andrew Lame, this movie should have premiered on the lifetime channel. 3 stars
5/05/07 bullit16 Can I give less than one star? Just awful 1 stars
5/05/07 mikee SPIDDY SAYS: I Slap A ho!!!!!!!!! 3 stars
5/05/07 the wizz surely a step down from part 2 but still a good flick. I hope they make another! 4 stars
5/05/07 Todd Ugh! Good but could have been so much better. 4 stars
5/05/07 Jeff The scene with Peter "strutting" was... hard to watch. 2 stars
5/05/07 Werepanda If I wanted to see men in spandex cry I'd...wait, who wants to see that? 3 stars
5/05/07 Dark Enchantress great movie, i dont know why so many people did not like it. 5 stars
5/05/07 Ole Man Bourbon Entertaining, but what was up with the musical numbers? Dunst not too good. 4 stars
5/05/07 Matt Raimi totally mishandled one of the best subplots in the entire comic book. 2 stars
5/05/07 Jimmy Patterson a bit cluttered and weakly resolved, but increadible overall!!! 5 stars
5/05/07 Austin Wertman Terrific 5 stars
5/05/07 eddie brock best movie ever made!!!!! venom reigns supreme! 5 stars
5/04/07 Dan Best of the series. Great comic adaptation. 5 stars
5/04/07 Quigley Not as good as part 2, but awesome altogether. Mostly a hit-and-miss sequel 5 stars
5/04/07 Manny S3 IS a terrific moVie! The fight scenes are Awsome! 5 stars
5/04/07 Adam I'm trying to think of a better word, but I think "atrocious" works nicely. 1 stars
5/04/07 carlos Ferreira dominican is spider man 5 stars
5/04/07 action movie fan action! Venom! the Sandman! jeolousy it all adds up to a great part three! spidey rules aga 5 stars
5/04/07 Mick S3 is made for MALES who get their periods. 2 stars
5/04/07 malcolm no superhero movie should have a dance number 3 stars
5/04/07 John Overstuffed, yes, but still quite incredible 5 stars
5/04/07 Darren Shea As a longtime fan of Spidey's comics, I enjoyed it immensely despite its flaws. 4 stars
5/04/07 Dave Terrific 5 stars
5/04/07 Courtney The men cried way too much and the movie was just way too random. 2 stars
5/04/07 Kerk CG for Venom and the big Sandman is really terrable 3 stars
5/04/07 Steve Raimi tried to do too much! I walked out of the theater unefected and let down. 2 stars
5/04/07 jasmine Good movie, but some angles and cinematography were completely random 4 stars
5/03/07 Carlos Great popcorn movie! 5 stars
5/03/07 Dave Awesome movie. 5 stars
5/03/07 Nick Rated Spidey #1 and #2 Awesome, THIS Episode SUCKS BIGTIME 1 stars
5/03/07 spanky venom was the shiiiiit 5 stars
5/03/07 Dude Best movie ever 5 stars
5/03/07 Adrian Despite being a clutter...the action and Venom still kicked ass. 5 stars
5/03/07 Boaby Digital Tobey Maguire looks like a sex offender, he should never have been cast as Peter Parker. 2 stars
5/03/07 lyndon popcorn junkies almost drowned out the soundtrack. 5 stars
5/03/07 Pompellini Manjanik Baba+Khanji, two retard junks. They dono what they're talking. Excellent movie 5 stars
5/03/07 Manjanik Baba Yes you are spot on Khanji. Good on you mate. 1 stars
5/03/07 Khanji Just another rotten shit for the burger+coke kids who can't see beyond their nose. 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  04-May-2007 (PG-13)
  DVD: 30-Oct-2007

UK
  N/A

Australia
  03-May-2007




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