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Overall Rating
2.71

Awesome: 11.68%
Worth A Look: 22.68%
Just Average: 20.62%
Pretty Crappy: 15.46%
Sucks29.55%

13 reviews, 213 user ratings


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Mission: Impossible 2
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by K-Dog

"Bring me the head of John Woo"
1 stars

Imagine the biggest pile of festering shit. Then put lots of polish in it. What do you have? shiny shit. Now watch it in slow motion. Well now you have MI:2 in all it's wanky glory.

There was a time... not so long ago, where a certain filmmaker made films that were of a higher breed. Films that paled ALL others of its kind. These films were almost heavenly in execution and originality, with unbelievable universal appeal - Despite the fact they were not western in origin. John Woo,a master of the craft bringing us some of the best action thriller films ever (Hard Boiled, The Killer, A Better Tomorrow I & II, Bullet in the head) has now become a whore to a system who want to ass fuck all the supremacy this man has.

Those old times though have gone, and with all things gone somethings remain. Since leaving his home country he has brought us Broken Arrow (Arse) Face/Off (Pretty Arse) Once A Theif (Plain and simple arse) Blackjack (Big fat sweaty hairy arse) Hard Target (Van Dammes arse) And now he has brought us Tom Cruise's Mission Impossible 2. Do any of you seriously believe Tom Cruise was just starring in this? And not making the whole thing his? But this is not a review of the making of the film. So on we go... Lets break the film down;

ACTING
Well Mr Cruise is a strange breed, a star who can act. Born On The Forth Of July and Magnolia proved this. But he is also prone to go on autopilot action mode. You know the Segal school of acting? Well Cruise is a regular. But this may not be all his fault, it's the script to a degree. But it seems that every shot he is in, he has carefully placed his hair and is always showing his good side(Taking tips from the Shatner school of acting). Pretty boys shouln't attempt to be hero's. He hasn't got the air of authority that say Chow Yun Fat or Ed Norton can command at will. And this showed.. Basially he sucked in this film.
Mr Scott... I just hated him. Not in a bad guy way, but in a more'just fuck off and stop being broody' way. In fact I don't wanna talk about him anymore
Mr Hopkins? Damn he might has well have hung a sign around his neck saying (only here cos of the money) He didn't emote anything through his performance, except 'God Im bored'
Miss Newton... Well she did okay, but in this mess its difficult to do any better.
Mr Rhames... Drastically underused again.

SCRIPT
Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad.... Hold on I forgot to say it was bad. But then again it is a generic action film so speech isn't too important. But the whole plot is nothing but tried and tested. Bad guy want to get rich and is willing to kill people to do it.And at the same time the bad and the good guy have a past. The only plot them that is a bit (and I stress a bit) original is the love theme intertwine directly with the main plot. But that wasn't of great interest either.

DIRECTION
Well it seemed like someone paying homage to Woo. Smooth stylish and very much eye candy, but no real flair that seperated it from anything else of its ilk.

ACTION SEQUENCES
I'll give it to them, they are spectacular and very entertaining. Executed precisely. But on occasions they are overblown. But Kudos for some stunning work there. But it cant save the film.

So after the dust has settled MI:2 is just another generic action film. Nothing more - nothing less.

It sucks all ass

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=1643&reviewer=23
originally posted: 06/27/00 07:28:37
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TV to Screen: For more in the TV to Screen series, click here.

User Comments

9/13/17 morris campbell great action 4 stars
8/25/13 DB Better than the first 4 stars
12/11/09 Jeff Wilder Better than the original or the third. Similar to Notorious. Woo's an action master. 4 stars
12/01/09 Kev If I want voice changers and fake masks I'll watch star wars - this movie was utter crap! 1 stars
2/04/09 Faraz J Crapaholic 1 stars
7/26/08 The Dork Knight 2 hours of John Woo wanking off 2 stars
5/20/08 PAUL SHORTT SEEMS SO AFRAID OF CONFUSING PEOPLE THAT IT DUMPS DOWN THE PLOT TO AN INSULTING LEVEL 1 stars
11/11/07 Chris The directing is so stupid it makes the movie funny, go home Woo. 3 stars
11/09/07 Hepe This movie sucks my brain... 1 stars
6/15/07 Sonse This movie is a cinematic fart 1 stars
6/15/07 Charles Tatum Sound and fury signifying nothing 3 stars
5/24/07 Sugarfoot Prior to this, Woo had made the mediocre Blackjack, which was way better than this 1 stars
3/08/07 johnnyfog Awful crap 1 stars
2/16/07 Vip Ebriega Good for action buffs. 3 stars
5/27/06 Sambadi Bahahahahah... retarded movie, absolutely atrocious crap, ahahah... horrible. 1 stars
5/09/06 San Lamar better than the first 4 stars
2/13/06 Anthony Feor It does not match the first one 3 stars
10/21/05 Tarheelfan The music was the GAYEST music i've ever heard!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 stars
10/04/05 Indrid Cold Somber and poorly-paced. Still not that bad though. 3 stars
9/26/05 Jonathon Holmes so good, it almost redddms MI:1... ALMOST! 5 stars
9/05/05 ian the first movie is my all time fav. so i just about hit an old lady w/ a crowbar after this 1 stars
8/30/05 ES Woo you suck! check out the switching tires on the motor cycle scene & other worse things 1 stars
7/20/05 Chris The motorcycle scene still makes me laugh 1 stars
7/06/05 Pinkline Jones Position Impossible II far superior 1 stars
5/25/05 tony Storyline is very slow most parts. Some scenes unbeliveable. We found our speed 2 of 2000 3 stars
9/26/04 Archanist_101 It's not John Woo's fault... It's Tom Cruise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 stars
5/31/04 Nobody First one was MUCH better. 1 stars
5/23/04 Butterbean First movie was better. Newton is beautiful. Action is over the top. 3 stars
5/05/04 J.Peckerfoot lighten up.its a bare-faced a action romance thing and it is visually pleasing. 4 stars
3/18/04 Umbrella Corporation. WHATTHEFUCK! TOM CRUISE... YOU'RE SO UP YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
3/09/04 Monster W. Kung So lame it's funny. Recommended for people who wanna laugh at the badness of this trash. 1 stars
12/05/03 john it's really a love story with lots of action - 5 stars
11/28/03 Agent Sands (previously Mr. Hat) After the 1st half-hour it gets better, action getting less fake & plot more engrossing. 4 stars
10/31/03 Mrs Karina Fitzgerald Enjoyed in a way only Scottish people can pull off 5 stars
10/21/03 Charlie Harrington Yawn! 1 stars
9/05/03 Dimitri Aubert Very bad compared to the original movie. 2 stars
7/05/03 Jack Sommersby Better than the first, but it's still a mess. A couple of good action scenes. 2 stars
5/16/03 mr. Pink Along with Hard Target, Woo's worst film. 1 stars
4/21/03 Angolmois Not an original idea in Woo's head. Even MI 1 was better than this... 1 stars
1/16/03 RAJA SHAH amazingly mind blowing! 5 stars
11/24/02 Matt Thiel I never got the impression that the filmmakers were not even trying to make a good film! 1 stars
11/22/02 Croweater This movie takes itself WAY too seriously, its utter crap. 1 stars
9/30/02 R.W. Welch Same ol' secret agent schtick; first half too slow, finale overdone. 2 stars
8/19/02 Monster W. Kung The mere fact that this drivel got many good reviews from mainstream critics makes me puke. 1 stars
5/22/02 Piz farscical and choppy but a good action flick. straight entertainment value. 4 stars
5/20/02 The Chronic Mastubator Barf, vomit, shit on a stick...perfect adjectives for this crap and far more appealing too. 2 stars
2/28/02 Butterbean This shouldn't have been directed by John Woo. The action scenes were silly 3 stars
1/15/02 David A. This movie is just a dream. I will NEVER accept Peter Graves as a bad guy! It just ain't so 4 stars
1/10/02 Magnum Craphole Boring, predictable and totally ridiculous. Bathroom-inducingly bad. 1 stars
12/22/01 Andrew Carden Nothing Could Save This Helpless Sequel. 1 stars
12/14/01 Cracked head This 'movie' was so bad, I couldn't even finish it -- this movie PLAIN FUCKING SUCKS! 1 stars
12/12/01 Dr. Jagdish K. Sharma Good movie 4 stars
12/03/01 The $1.98 Pyramid Jon Woo as director and Limp Bizkit as theme song?! 2 stars
11/30/01 Cookie Cutter I paid attention, and I almost couldn't believe how dumb and shitty it was. 1 stars
11/29/01 Rutt13 Pay attention, and you'll like it, fantastic action scenes! 4 stars
11/11/01 daniboy incredibly bad 1 stars
10/19/01 Tam Pathetic storyline, wooden acting - big disappointment. I was bored out of my brain! 1 stars
9/05/01 Butterbean Newton is beautiful, Cruise is always watchable, but the directing was a bit over the top 3 stars
8/18/01 Dr. Thompson Thandie Newton is fucking perfect, Tom Cruise is cool. 5 stars
8/09/01 Mr. Hat So many fake things in this movie, you can't even count 'em. 2 stars
8/08/01 E-Funk Good John Woo film...bad Mission Impossible film. 3 stars
8/05/01 badfish Stupid!! I'm beginning to not like Cruise anymore. I'm cringing just thinking about it. 1 stars
7/29/01 Bob jones Thr first one was better, this stunk 1 stars
7/28/01 Steve It was a Woo movie, I expected unrealism, but not like this! Was still pretty fun though. 4 stars
7/28/01 Crisis Management Pathetic excuse for explosions and slow-mo fake martial arts. Plot crap. A waste of money. 1 stars
7/19/01 Rolling Thunder A ridiculous piece of trash 1 stars
7/19/01 Tom Cruise I only make intelligent people sick, Birgit I want my $3.99 pay per view back. 1 stars
7/18/01 Hobbes This is a sign of the apocolypse... 1 stars
7/14/01 Birgit TOM CRUISE DOESN´T MAKE ANYBODY SICK, CALIGULA. HE´S THE MOST WONDERFUL ACTOR IN THE WORLD 5 stars
7/07/01 Caligula TOM CRUISE MAKES ME SICK, WATCHING THIS MOVIE IS LIKE TAKING A DUMP IN SLOW MOTION, FUCK! 1 stars
6/25/01 Lars Pettersson It's good, but could have been much better! Tom Cruise & Thandie Newton are good ! 3 stars
6/21/01 Dave can you say BULLLLLLLLSHIT!! 1 stars
5/23/01 Dean How this crap made a lot of money is beyond me. It's nearly unwatchable. 1 stars
5/04/01 The Chosen One cheesy as fuck 3 stars
5/01/01 Jonathan Garro Luckily they didn't need to hand you a little explanitory booklet upon entering the Theater 3 stars
4/23/01 Luke Take a look at thi 4 stars
3/25/01 Monster W. Kung People involved in this tripe should be shot in slow motion. 1 stars
3/19/01 TNT-6 One of the worst movies of the year. They must have spent five dollars on the script. 2 stars
3/06/01 Shams Huque What the hell happened to John Woo. Someone gave him a budget that was too big! 2 stars
2/15/01 jk too predictable I could ges wot woz gonna happen...boring 1 stars
2/13/01 Jake This is a movie not a film. Typical Woo. 1 stars
2/11/01 Thomas Johnsen Thrilling,superb effects,good story and a brilliant Cruise 5 stars
2/06/01 Mike Bowers the story is even more complicated then the first one, action scenes are good, story is shi 4 stars
2/03/01 Ben Stechmann For the shit movies coming out now, it is definitely worth watching 4 stars
2/01/01 Dan Waldman Made me want to watch North by Northwest again. 3 stars
1/29/01 rubber Complete and utter fucking SHIT! John Woo & Tom Cruise should be shot! 1 stars
1/09/01 Jake Not a great film, but certainly not as bad as some have said 4 stars
1/08/01 Eric Best action scenes in years (love the motorcycle chase), M:I-2 is a lot of fun 5 stars
1/05/01 Bruce It is slow getting started but the lab shootout and the 10 minute motorcycle chase awesome 4 stars
1/05/01 GTC Shite. Takes an hour to get going, and the references to Aussie Blokes are sickening. 1 stars
12/30/00 Msitrab Better than the first 4 stars
12/25/00 mer err...yeah....no.....mmmm....it's OK 3 stars
12/15/00 Birgit The best film I´ve ever seen, Tom Cruise was (and still is) amazing :-) 5 stars
12/12/00 Mr. ZmoXz the best action movie in years... no brains, no story, just fun, fun... 5 stars
12/11/00 PhilmPhreak Didn't like it in the theater, but it works on DVD. Go figure. 4 stars
12/11/00 Amy's Bitch what the fuck is wrong with people? I laughed, I cried, I shit my pants. 1 stars
12/10/00 Y.E.S. The best action movie of the year. The motorcycle chase is a masterpiece. 5 stars
12/07/00 Arielle Nicholas 15 minutes of Story, rest of the film fighting on that stupid motor cycles. 1 stars
12/03/00 Maestro A Shit 1 stars
12/02/00 scott wahls Public enemy was right, DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE! tom? how could you?! 1 stars
11/13/00 Monday Morning Schtick a fork in it, the "action" is overdone. 3 stars
11/12/00 The EVIL Penguin To my opinion: The first one is better 3 stars
11/09/00 The Bomb 69 could see the supposed "plot twists" a mile away, I long for Hong Kong's Woo 2 stars
10/28/00 Miss Hunt THE BEST MOVIE I EVER SEEN. TOM WAS SO AMAZING. GO AND WATCH M-I2. 5 stars
10/21/00 joe the action was super 4 stars
10/08/00 The Rock Great Action. Great Fun. 5 stars
9/21/00 White Rabbit What it lacks in story it makes up for in action 4 stars
9/13/00 Ground Zero watch the first MI 3 stars
9/06/00 Croweater GOD I HATE THIS MOVIE!! AWFUL AWFUL!! 1 stars
8/25/00 Eric Great action scenes, better story than the 1st M:I and one hot chick! 4 stars
7/27/00 Eran Crap,nothing but crap.(liked the line of Roman!) 1 stars
7/18/00 Goldfinger The cinematic equivalent of Chinese food- tastes good, but you're on the can all night. 2 stars
7/18/00 SuzVoy Funniest damn movie I've seen all year - so up it's on ass that you can't help but laugh 4 stars
7/18/00 John Chu the worst movie I saw this summer -- well, maybe not as bad as Battlefield earth 1 stars
7/16/00 Roman Woo you whore!!! 1 stars
7/12/00 Edzel Rubite It could be Better to be Than James Bond Movies 5 stars
7/11/00 Matthew Bartley It's an above average blockbuster 4 stars
7/05/00 Marcus West After watching this crap it's clear - we aussies don't need imports to make good movies 1 stars
7/01/00 Ayesha Cross Comparied to MI1 this was fucked!!!! 1 stars
6/30/00 Overflow Bitch Gimme a break K-Dog.. You say the same thing ALL OF THE TIME !! 5 stars
6/29/00 PJ Not the best of Woo, but any Woo is better than no Woo, ending kicked ass 3 stars
6/29/00 burton miller slow, predictable, silly fight scenes - kinda like xena, warrior princess 2 stars
6/28/00 Bruce Decent enough 4 stars
6/27/00 Rue the Whirl what a steaming pile 2 stars
6/26/00 Paige Tom Cruise looks good, that's about it. 2 stars
6/25/00 Bubby Should've been titled, SH:T 2 stars
6/25/00 Purple Monster Better than the original 4 stars
6/19/00 Tim Woo by numbers. Sydney looks great but the movie was overall disappointing. 3 stars
6/13/00 AnotherAnotherReviewe Last 40 minutes didn't make up for the first hour 3 stars
6/13/00 Overflow Bitch {{{OZ}}} is such a tool. 5 stars
6/13/00 JonnyA relax 4 stars
6/13/00 PJ I still love the ARTIST John Woo, this movie had some good stuff, and alot of bad stuff 3 stars
6/12/00 bob i fell asleep, that shouldn't happen 1 stars
6/11/00 FilmStar Better than the first,,,a pretty cool movie 4 stars
6/08/00 wfo600 m.i.2 is as bad as m.i.1 is good 1 stars
6/07/00 Jim J Nonbelevable story ... but who cares lots of great action fun movie to watch very entertain 5 stars
6/07/00 Alma Marquez CRAP, CRAP! 1 stars
6/06/00 jimbob more people were un-masked then a bad Scooby Doo episode. Zoinks! 2 stars
6/06/00 Greg Harris I went to be entertained, and I was. Not meant to be a boring foreign film. Tom's great. 4 stars
6/06/00 MKillroy Lived up to my expectations, plenty of action 4 stars
6/06/00 Taylor It delivers what the first film should have. 4 stars
6/06/00 13th warrior stupid eye candy for teens. Woo is not an artist, Cruise loves himself. 3 stars
6/06/00 Bob Wombat CAN John Woo make a good American film? Ever? Very average stuff. 3 stars
6/03/00 natasha beautifully choreographed, well-crafted, worth the time 4 stars
6/03/00 Kelvin Iverson somewhere between average to shit. 3 stars
6/03/00 bornslippy I don't think horrid can cover how bad this movie is..total disappointment 1 stars
6/03/00 Urbanwarrior woo and 'did they really do that?' action sequences...newton was eye candy 4 stars
6/02/00 Loki This movie made me laugh a lot. Unfortunately, I was laughing at it, not with it. 2 stars
6/02/00 Mantik0re I've never felt like I've been mugged by Tom Cruise for $7.50 until now. 1 stars
6/02/00 Xalt John Woo. Nuff said. 4 stars
6/02/00 Dasha Who would have thought that Woo & Cruise combo could result in such staggering mediocrity?? 1 stars
6/02/00 M.C.(WATCHOUT) You just can't imagine what's instore for all of you viewers out there!! NEXT TIME TOM&WOO 5 stars
6/01/00 PJ The Killer, Hardboiled, Bullet in the Head, Better Tomorrow 1&2, this ain't, Woo come back 3 stars
6/01/00 Alex How could it suck so bad without hurting someone! 1 stars
6/01/00 Dirk Pitt Woo needs to watch his movies of old with Chow Yun Fat, that's how we like to the Woo. 3 stars
6/01/00 Cam I shoulda taken my girlfriend, would have given me something todo 2 stars
6/01/00 Zaw Pointless stunts.. Slow Mo's 2 stars
6/01/00 Tim "Weapon" Groves Not Nearly the Movie it could have been!! 3 stars
5/31/00 arnold fucking boring,greatest motorcycle chase ever 3 stars
5/31/00 Aaron Richardson Shite on a stick. 1 stars
5/31/00 malcolm chinese style action w/good actors -- i loved it 4 stars
5/31/00 Overflow Bitch Cruise was very good. Entertaining summer blockbuster with good story. 5 stars
5/31/00 13th warrior cruise is in love with himself 3 stars
5/30/00 Peter Smith I left the theater with a new respect for "Ronin" 3 stars
5/30/00 i king it was the shit! 4 stars
5/30/00 JussMatt At least it had more action than the first one!! 4 stars
5/30/00 ladislau see it twice...on rented video, from your neighbour.don't spend money on it!! 3 stars
5/30/00 matt brody it's total crap 1 stars
5/30/00 Kootchy Cruise was great,the action was electric-better than the boring recent Bond films 4 stars
5/29/00 Heywood Jablowme It sucked 1 stars
5/29/00 Zatoichi Jones John Woo can do action. Unfortunately, plot and characters are irrelevant to him. 4 stars
5/29/00 Metrazol So, uhm...was that a joke? 2 stars
5/29/00 Stevie Mac I was expecting way, way better! What I got was a Bond rip off with only 30 mins of "Woo"! 3 stars
5/29/00 RossBond M:I2 Rules! Apart from a lazy script M:I2 is grade A+ all the way! See it twice! 5 stars
5/29/00 Tim It needed less romance and more plot 2 stars
5/29/00 Decent story, great action, Tom does a great job. Woo is the best ! Silly at times, but definately has its moments. On the whole a good, fun film. B+ 4 stars
5/29/00 Bueller Great action sequences. Interesting, though very predictable story line. M:I1 was better. 3 stars
5/29/00 Krystal I can definitely live without seeing it again 3 stars
5/28/00 Captain Highcrime Note to Tom: You are NOT Keanu and this is NOT "The Matrix," so knock it off dipshit. 3 stars
5/28/00 JonnyJ Thandie is a hottie 5 stars
5/28/00 Ian Pound Written to appeal to 14 year old boys 1 stars
5/28/00 koHawk Nolan's head needs to be removed from his ass...Good movie 4 stars
5/28/00 swan this sucked all ass. 1 stars
5/28/00 Vampyre9mm Typical Woo flick, a little hard to swallow at points. Very dumbed down. 3 stars
5/27/00 DatherFrawdad better than shanghai noon.. 5 stars
5/27/00 cinesuerte pg-13 woo movie is like porno w/o penatration & money shots 2 stars
5/27/00 eatphlegm The most fun I've had in a movie. I never want to see it again 1 stars
5/26/00 Jaime N. Christley A two-hour screen saver. (Thandie Newton, mmmmm...) 1 stars
5/26/00 Chartsy Some bad edits, weird symbols (the dove?) and horrible continuity. 2 stars
5/26/00 Louis This movie was good, and the girl is HOT!! OH MY GOD! 5 stars
5/26/00 NTWRAGE They took a good movie, put a pice of shit on it, added explosions and called it part II 2 stars
5/26/00 PhilmPhreak I can't believe I didn't like a John Woo movie! 2 stars
5/26/00 Kenosha Kid The otrcyle scene was fanfuckingtastic. 5 stars
5/26/00 gwalla Wretched excess. Too much filler. Almost a parody of John Woo movies. 2 stars
5/26/00 Makaveli the Don Slow Motion Garbage 1 stars
5/25/00 Dennis Kablinger ridiculous 1 stars
5/25/00 Sarah O'Hara You can have action AND a good story/dialogue, but they're not in this movie. 3 stars
5/25/00 Maclay01 I so enjoy big screen woo-action & raw emotion-not his best but still best action around 4 stars
5/25/00 elfpunkt too much slo-mo fighting, other than that not bad for eyecandy. 4 stars
5/25/00 Mr. X A bit slow until the last third. I agree with David Seah. 3 stars
5/25/00 DatherFrawdad i shit my pants 5 stars
5/25/00 paul rovella john woo and tom cruise masturbating each other in the editing room. 3 stars
5/25/00 gezick WTF is with the pigeons... I want my 126 min back. 1 stars
5/25/00 Kipster Definitely a John Woo film. All Eye candy. But still very good. 4 stars
5/25/00 strider most of the fights are ripped straight out of street fighter, fun to watch though 4 stars
5/25/00 Agent Browne Lame catchphrases, illogical action, boring villain. But Tom & Thandie rock, & cool scenery 5 stars
5/25/00 David Seah Pretty production, good stunts, dull plotting. John Woo commoditized into McAction. 3 stars
5/24/00 The Rock the last 45 min were awesome 4 stars
5/24/00 Greyjack This movie's soo Woo I was expecting subtitles. Bigtime over-the-top fun. 4 stars
5/24/00 Jason Cooke If you love John Woo, You'll love this movie like me. 5 stars
5/24/00 Jason Kallelis Pretty good, not as bad as some are probably expecting. Great action, a few corny lines. 4 stars
5/24/00 Maclay01 Erik the MM forgets Dr. No- Bond falls in love, she's killed & thus Bond womanizes evermore 4 stars
2/26/00 Pamela Chickenleg BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF ! 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  24-May-2000 (PG-13)
  DVD: 11-Apr-2006

UK
  N/A

Australia
  01-Jun-2000 (M)




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