Urban Legend (*) - This has to be one of the worst horror films in recent memory, ranking with this summer's Halloween H20 and spring's Species II. Needless to say I wasn't scared at all and for a film about urban legends - it's amazing how few they truly tackle.It's always a bad sign when the characters are such nothings that you start rooting for the killer to off 'em as quickly as possible. Believe me - I was rooting with each subsequent death, but was still upset that a dog had to get microwaved. Leave the doggies out of this. This is between a killer and bad actors. Which brings me to Alicia Witt who has to be one of the worst actresses I've ever seen on celluloid. She has the warmth, personality, and acting ability of a dead fish on anti-depressants. She even runs and walks as stiff as her character portrayal and I was hoping - even praying - that she'd actually get her kidney removed when strapped to that table. Does this make me a bad person? I don't think so - just one who hates bad movies. The urban legend killer in this film wears a giant winter parka all the time. For one thing - it doesn't seem to be that cold where the movie's set because people walk around without coats - plus it seems that at least 4 or 5 characters just happen to own one of these friggin' things and it's always lying around or being worn at the wrong time (like in the swimming pool area). The film tries to be cool in the way that both Scream films were by throwing a pop reference here and there. Joshua Jackson (who plays Pacey on TV's Dawson's Creek) starts the car only to hear Paula Cole's "I Don't Wanna Wait" blare on the radio. He immediately shuts it off in disgust. And Rebecca Gayheart's character is referred to as the Noxzema girl, for which she did commercials. Every time the killer stalks the soundtrack tries to jolt with the orchestra equivalent of William Castle's seat buzzers from the 1950s. It's really pathetic. Also, some of the deaths - are just deaths. They are not justified as urban legends, even though the killer complains about later screwing up their masterpiece by using bullets to finish off a victim.This is a true disaster - unscary, unfunny, poorly written, and poorly acted. Alicia Witt - for the benefit of all of us - stay out of the movies - or a new urban legend might be born - one about a moviegoer who gets so frustrated by the lack of a red-haired actress to display any remnants of a human being on screen - that he's forced to hunt her down, pluck her eyes open like Malcom McDowell in A Clockwork Orange, and watch this movie on a continual loop.