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Overall Rating
2.46

Awesome: 17.57%
Worth A Look: 4.05%
Just Average: 20.27%
Pretty Crappy: 22.97%
Sucks35.14%

6 reviews, 38 user ratings


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Superstar (1999)
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by iF Magazine

"The only two films I hated more were KIDS and BATMAN and ROBIN."
1 stars

When I’m lying on my deathbed, in my last moments of life, I’ll be weeping for the two hours lost to enduring SUPERSTAR. A movie so rancid in its mediocrity as to defy my humble powers of description, this Saturday Night Live inspired sketch movie stars Molly Shannon and Will Ferrell and springs from Shannon’s bizarre Catholic school girl shtick from the comedy show. You know, the one that has her mumbling and smelling her hands after they’ve been crammed in her sweaty armpits. You remember, that one you sat in front of the TV viewing and smacked yourself on the head and exclaimed, “That would make a great movie!” Remember that one?

Since viewing SUPERSTAR, in preparation for this review, I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts on the film, and came up empty. Panicked for inspiration, with my deadline looming, I realized why. I had had a blowout in the crappy-meter housed in the movie review center of my brain. I could not come up with anything to say other than it sucked because the calibration of my mind and thoughts on how to explain that suckiness had simply too much material to work with. It was like trying to pump out the water in a sinking ship with a tablespoon.

With this in mind, I recalibrated my thinking and hauled out what memories of SUPERSTAR I hand not yet repressed.

What did I find?

If a normal moment of cinematic displeasure, say, the middle act of a mediocre PULP FICTION rip off is a stone set in asphalt in the street outside your house, then SUPERSTAR is a unbroken, eight lane thoroughfare running from the most southern inch of Argentina to the part of Alaska where the land ends and the polar ice cap begins. One that has been resurfaced 15 times.

If a normal, blandly acted and all too cleverly scripted hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold falling for a nice-guy-small-time-criminal story is the bully that tormented you in seventh grade, then SUPERSTAR is a 10,000 man army of Joseph Stalin clones.

Why is SUPERSTAR so bad… i.e. so bad I’m failing even as I struggle to even begin to express how bad it is? Because there is not one laugh in the whole movie, and only one moment where it almost provokes a smile, which is shown in the preview. That moment is when the self-tortured Mary Katherine Gallagher, wanting to kiss a boy, kisses a tree out of longing. She kisses a tree. There, you have it, and you have no idea how I just saved you.

No, the only two films I hated more than SUPERSTAR were KIDS and BATMAN AND ROBIN. Not only were those films poorly made slop, each highlighting the inherent pitfalls of their respective types of movie making (indies and lavish studio event films) but they were eminently offensive on so many philosophical levels. Thus, SUPERSTAR is saved from the bottom of the list.

It is only the purest form of mediocre craftsmanship and storytelling ambition, but the level of perfection which it achieves in crystallizing those noxious elements is a landmark indeed. - James Archer - iF Magazine (http://ifmagazine.ifctv.com)

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=1785&reviewer=119
originally posted: 10/13/99 23:11:22
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SNL Movies: For more in the SNL Movies series, click here.

User Comments

1/09/10 art ONLY FOR FAN"S OF MOLLY"S SNL CHARACTER{MARY KATHERINE GALLAGHER} 2 stars
1/17/09 Anonymous. an awkward movie that isn't that funny. :D 2 stars
8/07/07 Johnny Strangers With Candy does "weird girl in high-school" way better. Embarrassingly stupid. 2 stars
10/05/06 Lauren Taylor So funny i cried for hours! =] loved it!!! 5 stars
3/02/06 Anthony Feor SNL movies, how much i love you 4 stars
8/30/05 ES proving once and for all that Bruce McCulloch is the Eric Idle of Kids in the Hall 1 stars
2/05/05 Jeff Anderson One of the all time worst comedies I've ever seen! Why are these SNL skits made into movies 1 stars
12/19/04 Jessica 5 stars dawg. 5 stars. 5 stars
12/19/04 Michelle This movie is GrEaT! I love it... there's never been a more awesome movie! 5 stars
12/19/04 Jessica This movie is awesomely hilarious. I love it. 5 stars
12/19/04 Michelle McClure Me and Jessica LOVE this movie...we watch it 24/7 5 stars
12/19/04 Jessica "What are you lookin at fruity? I dont play buttdarts okay....I'm lovin the ladies" <Funny 5 stars
10/21/04 kena typical SNL comedy.........so dumb, it was funny. 4 stars
1/08/04 Chlo Gyllenhaal What a piece of shit. Superstar my arse. Wouldn't even give it one star... 1 stars
6/22/03 cochese MOLLY SHANNON IS NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!! GET IT? 1 stars
3/16/03 Cameron Slick Dumb script and flat jokes made this another SNL misfire. 1 stars
12/03/02 Sara Jacobs Beyond Hillarious 5 stars
6/11/02 qtpie Hillarious 5 stars
10/08/01 Monday Morning Not great, not terrible...kind of medium I guess. 3 stars
6/12/01 Renee is Insane Almost the WORST movie of all time. 1 stars
4/09/01 Gary So stupid it's funny. It's a good movie to watch if you are down. 4 stars
4/01/01 Andrew Carden Pretty goofy, but watchable SNL flick. 3 stars
3/08/01 Drew Anderson This movie was extremely comical, and made completely with teenage viewers in mind. 5 stars
3/06/01 Helen I have rented it a million times and I crave to see it once more. Hilarious. 5 stars
2/13/01 Egg36 Unspeakabley awful. 1 stars
1/29/01 Scot Bailey Biggest piece of poop to float to the surface of the Hollywood self-love fest in years. 1 stars
1/16/01 tessa its hilarious 5 stars
1/15/01 Renee this is the best movie of all time 5 stars
9/16/00 JAKE ugh... the most annoying idea EVER!!!!!!!! 1 stars
9/07/00 Stuntman shit shit shit shit 1 stars
6/01/00 Steve Layne Pretty boring and dumb 2 stars
4/29/00 The Bomb 69 some funny some stupid, a mixed bag 3 stars
2/21/00 Mr. Kramitall absolute stupidity 1 stars
10/28/99 Lame-Oh sloppy, worthless SNL adapted trash 1 stars
10/24/99 focus one question: why? 1 stars
10/15/99 TImbo You all suck. This movie rules like when bears maul dumb people. 5 stars
10/14/99 16 in. of meat and a bucket of balls Oh God, why do you punish your people so? SNL should quit while it's behind 1 stars
10/11/99 Mr Showbiz Right up there with A Night At The Roxbury 2 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  08-Oct-1999 (PG-13)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  21-Sep-2000 (M)




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