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Overall Rating
2.22

Awesome: 6.25%
Worth A Look: 9.38%
Just Average: 12.5%
Pretty Crappy43.75%
Sucks: 28.13%

4 reviews, 40 user ratings



Get Carter (2000)
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by EricDSnider

"Please, Stallone, just stop. Please. You're only embarrassing yourself now."
2 stars

I haven't seen the original 1971 "Get Carter," which starred Michael Caine, but I have to believe it must have been better than the damp new version starring a surprisingly inarticulate (even for him) Sylvester Stallone.

Set in a version of Seattle in which it never stops raining and is always nighttime, the film is about Jack Carter (Stallone), a Las Vegas hired thug who has come home for his brother's funeral. Seems Richie got plastered and ran into a tree, but this seems fishy to Jack, who had never known his brother to be much of a drunk, especially not an irresponsible one. So it's up to Jack to go right to the police and express his doubts about the manner in which Richie died.

I'm kidding, of course; I don't think there even ARE any police in this movie. What Jack does is go investigating. "Investigating" to him means asking, "What was Richie into?" a lot, and pestering guests at his widowed sister-in-law Gloria's (Miranda Richardson) post-funeral gathering.

Richie worked at a bar owned by Cliff Bumby (Michael Caine, proving that if he can weasel his way into a movie, he will), who insists Richie's only vice was that he had a woman on the side. That woman is Geraldine (Rhona Mitra), a gorgeous, uncooperative gal who helps very little. Also involved, somehow, are smarmy tycoon Jeremy Kinnear (Alan Cumming) and beefed-up something-or-other Cyrus (Mickey Rourke). And dead Richie's sulky daughter Doreen (Rachel Leigh Cook), first apprehensive about her uncle whom she doesn't know very well, eventually warms up to him and tries to assist.

Stephen T. Kay directs with a flair for catchy visuals and adrenaline-pumping soundtrack music (everything from hip-hop to techno-jazz). He goes overboard a bit with the wobbly, sped-up fighting scenes, which are so grainy and dreary as to almost appear black-and-white, but the obligatory car chase has enough quick cuts and near-misses to infuse some excitement into that old movie cliche.

Unfortunately, Kay also seems to think he's David Fincher, redoing "Fight Club" or "Seven." The camera tricks get old, and the film practically chokes on its own moody atmosphere.

Of course, it may well be that he was just trying to do something, anything, to make the film interesting, given Stallone's characteristically uncharismatic performance and the dead-boring David McKenna script he had to work with. For an action movie, there is an awful lot of sitting around, and the movie progresses with infuriating sluggishness. Style doesn't make up for lack of substance, and a style that wears thin helps even less.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=2142&reviewer=247
originally posted: 07/04/03 00:26:30
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User Comments

11/09/10 Bob Just watched the 1971 version. Stallone's remake was MUCH better. 4 stars
9/27/08 Shaun Wallner Great Movie!! 4 stars
11/12/05 Ian Remake that took everything out of the original:grit, realism, replaced it formula, shame. 1 stars
10/30/05 Wisamane If you like the video Game shadow run for sega Youll Like this one! 5 stars
8/29/05 tatum Annoying direction, couldn't give a flying turd about the characters 2 stars
7/28/05 tony what is sylvester stallone doing????? 1 stars
4/22/05 Indrid Cold Flashy but a lame, shallow plot once again gives Rourke nothing to work with. 2 stars
10/31/04 MyGreenBed Not too good, though stylish. Rourke cracking Syl's (so Syl said) ribs counts extra. 3 stars
8/16/04 john bale Indestructable Stallone outflanked by good actors, in badly edited poor remake of original 3 stars
8/16/04 Ben Lighten up man, it's a movie. Sheesh. 4 stars
8/13/04 Zac Stallones movies are the best you fucking suck donkey dick 5 stars
6/23/04 Mick Very underated movie. Scott Weinberg, GO *UCK YOURSELF. 5 stars
5/03/04 John good intentions ineptly executed 1 stars
5/23/03 R.W. Welch As usual, the remake is no match for the original. Routine. 2 stars
5/11/03 Jack Bourbon I've seen worse. 3 stars
4/12/03 Mixed I don't disagree with the critics, but the directors' style is catchy. Good music score. 4 stars
3/07/03 Jack Sommersby By far, Stallone's worst. Overdirected and underwritten. 1 stars
12/03/02 Gazza E Starts out okay, but gets bogged down in the 2nd half 3 stars
9/07/02 jin yanshun i don't know why someone dislike this moive 4 stars
12/21/01 captain chris Stallone fat? in GC? Sly has more muscle in his elbow than you have in your wholebody!fatty 5 stars
11/28/01 KMG I was waiting for something to happen throughout the whole movie! 2 stars
6/12/01 *~Danielle*Ophelia~* (formerly KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi) Now, I like Stallone, for real, but his movies are often shite. This is no exception. 1 stars
4/09/01 Monday Morning This film goes to another level, alright...unfortunately it's downward. 2 stars
4/03/01 Jesse L What a disappointment... 1 stars
3/27/01 malcolm i luved Stallone scaring the shyt out of the 'puter nerd 3 stars
2/20/01 T. Sharif It Is Good But Some Bull Shit Sences 3 stars
2/20/01 John Lyons Too slow; disappointing movie. 2 stars
11/17/00 Edward A Leonard Yikes, expected alot better out of Sly, recommend you see Assassins with Banderas, Better. 2 stars
11/02/00 Greg crappy plot and charector development 1 stars
10/18/00 liquid I've seen some shit in my day, fuck where's the beef? 1 stars
10/18/00 Ground Zero this flick was as bad as Judge Dreck... err Dredd 2 stars
10/15/00 pmunee this movie was about as good as Stop or my mom will shoo!!t 1 stars
10/15/00 Politicsman Quite stylish but trapped by the original screenplay. Get Stallone would have been better 3 stars
10/11/00 Mr. X Choppy editing, mediocre dialogue, and no explosions. 3 stars
10/10/00 cat This film is a crappy remake of the original that had one thing going for it: Michael Caine 1 stars
10/09/00 PJ Although Sly was a bad mutha fucka, the movie was dissapointing, real bad direction 2 stars
10/09/00 Boy In The Designer Bubble I'm 120 pounds, 5 feet 6, I saw Stallone at a stop sign, he saw me & locked his doors.TRUE! 1 stars
10/09/00 Jay You people are too whiney. It's not great, but much better than most recent movies. 4 stars
10/07/00 jon j could've been worse 2 stars
10/04/00 Neil You are pissing on sacred land here 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  06-Oct-2000 (R)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  01-Feb-2001 (M)




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