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Overall Rating
2.07

Awesome: 7.41%
Worth A Look: 18.52%
Just Average: 7.41%
Pretty Crappy: 7.41%
Sucks59.26%

1 review, 21 user ratings


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North (1994)
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by Rob Gonsalves

"Roger Ebert famously hated, hated, hated this movie. And so do I."
1 stars

This awesomely idiotic kiddie comedy is the worst movie John Hughes never made, a witless exercise in adult-bashing that seemed to require masochism in the few parents dumb enough to take their kids to it.

Elijah Wood, usually fresh enough to triumph over rotten material but not this time, is North, a perfect boy disenchanted with his uncaring parents (Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus). He seeks a "divorce" from them and travels the world in search of better parents.

This gives director Rob Reiner many opportunities to indulge in crass stereotyping: in addition to North's materialistic, hypochondriacal Jewish parents, we have Dan Aykroyd and Reba McIntire as hee-hawing Texans; Keone Young and Lauren Tom as opportunistic Hawaiians; Graham Greene and Kathy Bates as Eskimos who send old Grandpa (Abe Vigoda) off on an ice floe to die (yeah, exactly the sort of comedy one looks for in movies for kids); and John Ritter and Faith Ford as clones of 1950s TV parents.

Meanwhile, North's scheming schoolchum Winchell (the preternaturally obnoxious Matthew McCurley) gets kids across the country to overthrow their parents, with the help of ambulance chaser Jon Lovitz. Bruce Willis, in a variety of costumes ranging from the Easter Bunny to a FedEx driver, is North's guardian angel, who eventually leads him back into the loving arms of his suddenly sensitive parents. That this is all a dream doesn't make North any less stupid, boring, offensive, or unfunny. The movie not only ridicules its hopeful adoptive parents (it even makes light of the Texans' losing their son in a stampede) but says that a good way to make your parents appreciate you is to worry them sick.

A preposterous bomb from start to finish, its only merit is furnishing the title of one of Roger Ebert's funnier books.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=2356&reviewer=416
originally posted: 03/12/07 22:01:06
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User Comments

4/05/12 SEAN DUTRA loser 1 stars
3/12/11 Quigley Cruel, offensive, and horrifically unpleasant. Avoid like the bubonic plague. 1 stars
7/15/10 Dane Youssef One of the worst ever made. As a fun family comedy, it's none of the above. Torture. Shit. 1 stars
1/12/10 James Stone Worst movie ever made. 1 stars
12/07/09 Ash Elijah Wood probably thanks his stars daily that he will be remembered as Frodo, not North. 1 stars
1/12/09 Doug Worst move I've ever seen. 1 stars
3/13/07 Shobert Easily the worst movie of 1994...a year that saw the release of "The Flintstones." 1 stars
6/06/06 Dave Webber I thought it was fun - reminded me of a US versionof Monty Python! 4 stars
6/11/05 Jeff Anderson Absolutely godawful in every way! Wood's way, way too good for this smug garbage. 1 stars
3/11/05 Nick Boyd Complete garbage 1 stars
2/24/05 ELI The last half hour really ruined the movie. Besides that, it was cute 3 stars
10/12/04 Laura What r u guys talkin' about?! This movie ain't crappy at all!!! 5 stars
8/30/04 frodo lol 4 stars
1/18/04 Dan Not as bad as people claim 3 stars
9/26/02 Breann Rodman Hey! I thought North was sweet, and IT DIDN'T SUCK! 5 stars
3/05/02 nic eliajah is cute 4 stars
1/25/02 Andrew Carden The Cameos Make This Movie Good. 4 stars
1/17/02 Leta Even die-hard fans of Elijah Wood should stay as far away from this as possible. 2 stars
9/25/01 jessica Elijah Wood is the only reason this film did not get zero stars 2 stars
6/07/01 The Scarecrow I hated this piece of FLAMING CRAP!! It made me want fucking to puke. 1 stars
9/03/00 West All right it's simplstic and silly, but it's a fun romp. Nice cameos, lighthearted 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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  02-Jul-1994 (PG)

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