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Overall Rating
1.38

Awesome: 0%
Worth A Look: 12.5%
Just Average: 0%
Pretty Crappy: 0%
Sucks87.5%

1 review, 2 user ratings


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Delivery Man
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by Peter Sobczynski

"I Hate You, Wes Mantooth!!!"
1 stars

Seemingly engineered for the sole purpose of one day being described as "ghastly," "Delivery Man" is a sentimental comedy that is so crudely inept in its efforts at simultaneously tickling ribs and tugging heartstrings that most viewers will come away with it feeling appalled rather than amused or touched. This is a film that takes a concept that few would consider to be especially promising for something meant to touch and amuse viewers and then spends nearly two hours proving those suspicions correct.

In the film, Vince Vaughn--whose presence above the title in any film has officially become a red flag for discerning moviegoers--plays, in an immense stretch of his talents, a motormouthed dope whose casual slide through life is interrupted first when his longtime girlfriend (Cobie Smulders) announces that he is pregnant and later when he is informed that his voluminous deposits to a sperm bank back in the day have somehow resulted in over 500 offspring, many of whom have banded together in a class-action suit as a way of finally meeting the man they know only as Starbuck. Determined to prove to himself that he has what it takes to become a father, Vaughn begins to surreptitiously become involved in their lives in myriad ways but at the same time, his idiot lawyer (Chris Pratt) is attempting to put together some kind of cockamamie invasion-of-privacy lawsuit that will get him a big enough payout to erase his considerable financial problems but which requires him to have no contact with any of his brood.

If this premise sounds vaguely familiar to you, then you may have seen "Starbuck," a recent French-Canadian comedy that was an enormous hit in its native land. Not willing to mess with an allegedly winning formula, the writer-director of the original, Ken Scott, has been tapped to repeat those duties for this remake and has pretty much stuck to the original blueprint this time around--the only major difference being the inclusion of the Chris Pratt character, a patently unnecessary element to a film already filled with such things. I didn't much care for that initial version but it didn't especially fill me with anger or revulsion either--it was frankly too innocuous to get worked up over one way or another. This one, however, is a different story as its blend of slapstick and smarm is so off-putting that it begins to feel like an especially off-key telethon at certain points--the comedy simply isn't very funny (though even the greatest of comedic minds might have trouble getting chuckles from this particular premise), the sentimental stuff (including the discovery that one of the offspring is severely disabled) is so crudely deployed that it actually inspires more laughs that the actual jokes and the sloppy nature of the storyline (ranging from the inability to make the lawsuit into anything other than a cheap plot device to the utter absence from the narrative of any of the people who actually raised the Starbuck kids) is likely to annoy even those with a taste for this kind of filmmaking.

Worst of all, however, is the odious presence of Vaughn in what is sure to be one of the low-water marks of a career that is already chock-full of them. Although one can readily believe him as a character who would over-contribute to a sperm bank--it would be sex with someone he loved, as the joke goes--watching him bond with his unwitting offspring while still indulging in his increasingly tiresome on-camera riffing and scatting is a chore that few will be willing or able to undertake and the fact that we are supposed to care about this eminently unlikable jerk is simply impossible. It is a repellent performance in a repellent movie and the only good thing about his presence is that it might inspire someone to create a Youtube mashup that takes the most notorious addition to the remake of "Psycho" that Vaughn also appeared in--if you saw the film, you know what part I mean and if you haven't, you don't need to follow up--and repositions it as a prologue to this one. The sad thing is that such an idea is infinitely more clever and classy than anything on display in "Delivery Man."

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=24496&reviewer=389
originally posted: 11/21/13 13:03:29
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User Comments

1/09/14 Natalie Stonecipher Why all the hating? Not so bad actually. 4 stars
12/06/13 Pearl Bogdan This is flotsam.Watching anything else would be a better use of your time 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  22-Nov-2013 (PG-13)
  DVD: 25-Mar-2014

UK
  10-Jan-2014 (12A)

Australia
  22-Nov-2013
  DVD: 25-Mar-2014


Directed by
  Ken Scott

Written by
  Ken Scott

Cast
  Vince Vaughn
  Cobie Smulders
  Chris Pratt
  Britt Robertson
  Jack Reynor
  Ben Bailey



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