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Overall Rating

Awesome: 2.7%
Worth A Look: 29.73%
Just Average: 0%
Pretty Crappy37.84%
Sucks: 29.73%

4 reviews, 13 user ratings

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Jurassic World
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by Greg Ursic

"Some things should stay extinct"
2 stars

The original Jurassic Park was an amazing synthesis of animatronics and the emerging art of CGI – it was tough to tell where one started and other began – and provided the actors with something physical to react to, which showed in their performances. But what always stood out for me was the sound: thanks to the newly installed digital sound system in the theater where I saw it, I got to experience the shrieking T-Rex in all its terrifying glory and it made me thankful that they were extinct. If only the same could be said for the franchise’s latest incarnation.

Hoping to distract them from their looming divorce Zach and Gray’s parents ship them off to spend some time with their aunt Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard), the business manager for Jurassic World. Unfortunately, Claire, preoccupied by the spectre of flagging attendance, is trying to entice new investors with the promise of bigger, scarier dino that they’ve cooked up in the lab and assigns one of her clone-like lackeys to look after the boys. Before you can say “Run!” the boys have ditched their handler and headed out on their own just as Indominus Rex – the park’s newest asset - has escaped from its holding cell and is heading towards the legions of tasty snacks (aka park-goers). It’s up to Claire and velociraptor trainer Owen (Chris Pratt) – with whom she shares some uncomfortable history – to bring down the big bad and save her nephews.

I like big scary CGI creatures as much as the next moviegoer, but the problem here is we’ve already seen most of the dinos in the previous films or the trailer, and Indominus Rex, aside from her special abilities, is a bit of a yawn. The story is downright lazy, relying on lame nods to its predecessors, a ridiculous love-hate relationship between Claire and Owen’s characters, and it blatantly rips off Aliens in more than one scene. In addition, the dialogue, for the most part, is atrocious and the whole “cold-business-woman-embraces-her-maternal-feelings" is forced, unnecessary and completely disingenuous. And don’t even get me started on IR’s downright laughable Dino Doolittle abilities . Most importantly, I did not for a moment feel that any of the characters were in real jeopardy.

Jurassic World looks good and provides a few enjoyable action sequences, but for the most part it feels like it was slapped together out of bits and pieces of other films with nothing new to add to the mix. Sadly it will probably do decent box office, laying the way for another completely unnecessary sequel.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=27058&reviewer=399
originally posted: 06/14/15 04:04:48
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User Comments

6/10/17 Homo habilis I'd rather step in literal Triceratops poo than watch this figurative Triceratops poo 1 stars
10/29/16 morris campbell by the numbers but the dinos still thrill 4 stars
9/30/15 Loopy fairly boring and by the numbers, a few cool moments not enough 2 stars
7/09/15 Paula Daniels Liked it but very short time wise 4 stars
7/08/15 Luke C Enjoyed it, but doesn't touch the original even remotely 4 stars
7/06/15 mr.mike "Is Noice" (Borat) 4.5 stars 4 stars
6/22/15 KingNeutron Liked it, but really wasn't scary like the 1st film 4 stars
6/16/15 Jack The worst of all the JP films. 1 stars
6/16/15 action movie fan great exciting ginosaur moive bat6tles danger the best so far for 2015 5 stars
6/15/15 DeebaDoobie The climax reminded me of the 'Time Masheen' in 'Idiocracy' LOL 1 stars
6/14/15 Del The plot was predictable. The action was boring. The jokes were lame and the plot lazy. 1 stars
6/12/15 Bob Dog Shoddy reboot. 2 stars
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  12-Jun-2015 (PG-13)
  DVD: 20-Oct-2015

  11-Jun-2015 (12A)

  DVD: 20-Oct-2015

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