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Overall Rating
2.64

Awesome: 21.74%
Worth A Look: 11.59%
Just Average: 10.14%
Pretty Crappy: 21.74%
Sucks34.78%

4 reviews, 45 user ratings


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Stepmom
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by Chef ADogg

"I seriously object to this."
1 stars

I object to ANY movie that is made strictly so the filmmakers responsible can collect a few bucks, and features more than one bonding-through-group-sing-along scene. But especially this one. Two good actresses, over forty million dollars, and Ed Harris-- What a waste.

How do you make a movie about cancer and family bonds with absolutely no connection to reality?

Go ask Chris Columbus; he could probably write you a book and then autograph it. He's stocked "Stepmom" with every single cliche you can name, and an assload that you can't. It's one of the bottom five studio overload films that I have ever seen, and that's saying more than your small human brain could possibly register.

The film is ostensibly about two women and the bonds they share as mothers, but the depths of this topic are rarely plumbed for anything more than cheap sentiment. The women are played by Susan Sarandon and Julia Robert--two actresses who have hit their peak commercially and are now slumming in search of dollar signs.

Sarandon--bad move picking this script. Not only have you put your "quality actress" seal of approval on this half assed trash (thus losing my respect), you also do the most absurd work of your career in a role identical to one that Meryl Streep nailed earlier in the year. Tsk, tsk.

Roberts--you're a whore. It's time to face that one simple fact and go back to playing the roles you were meant for. You're beautiful, I love your smile, and you've got charisma to burn. So what? You're not an actress and you'll never be worthwhile without Richard Gere.

Hey, did I mention Ed Harris is in this? I can't believe how low some people can sink. Here's a guy with intensity at his fingertips, and he wastes natural talent on big-studio dreck. It's a really pitiful show, and I'm still brain boggled over his decision to participate.

The acting sucked, obviously. Add to the already long list of failures a couple of bratty pubescents--the kind of kids that you instinctively want to spank. If I ever see Jena Malone in public, don't think for a second that I won't grab her ass and put it over my knee. Jena, hun--beware the Chef's wrath.

Now, about the actual film.... I can't really put into words just how utterly terrible it is. I mean, I really didn't expect too much (I don't expect jackshit from any flick that costs forty million dollar and purports to be a character film), but I was disappointed nonetheless.

There's no texture whatsoever. True--most modern directors don't know how to make a movie with feeling. But that doesn't mean I won't expect it. After getting hist start with "Home Alone," Chris Columbus has shown an amazing ability to keep his career trajectory strictly downward, and with this film he remains true to his legacy of cinematic brutality.

I'm all out of cleverness, so I'll just be plain and save you some time. "Stepmom" is about an old bitch and a young bitch; the young bitch is trying to take the old bitch's place with her bitches-to-be children. Old bitch gets cancer and bonds with young bitch over "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." If that still sounds good, skip renting the flick altogether and go have some teeth drilled...Sadist.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=360&reviewer=123
originally posted: 11/28/99 00:46:37
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User Comments

2/17/08 Pamela White it is hard to be stepmom but Julia works 4 stars
12/08/07 Keystra Williams AWFUL. 1 stars
8/05/06 Chris Wilbik Well acted a good movie to see 4 stars
1/14/06 Jo This is an Awsome movie!! 5 stars
8/25/05 Michael Opens Up Some Hidden Emotion For Some 5 stars
8/16/05 ES A rip off of a Canadian movie, this movie is hang your head in shame bad 1 stars
3/11/05 Amber Lets just say there ain't no mountain too high for Columbus to climb!!! 5 stars
11/23/04 rachel benear it touched home hard and is an excellent movie 5 stars
5/19/04 Lindsay Hicks It's afantastic film i love it to bits i can neva get sicjk of it!!!!!! 5 stars
12/22/03 Chris One of the best films of our time. The ONLY movie I ever cried in. 5 stars
10/08/03 SuperBarbie2003 I really liked this movie. Julia Roberts Rocks!!! 4 stars
8/19/03 epy c super 5 stars
4/08/03 Jack Sommersby About as insightful a family drama as "The Cosby Show". 1 stars
11/27/02 Kelli Whip those kids' natural ASSES!! 1 stars
10/28/02 David What's lower than 1(Total crap) surely there should be a 0 (worst than total crap) 1 stars
8/07/02 I Can't Swim Can kiddies post about kiddies elsewhere? BTW, movie eats it, TOO 1 stars
7/01/02 The Klein-bottle Pussy Good acting in service of - uh - who cares what. 3 stars
6/11/02 hilarydsur awesome 5 stars
5/21/02 CRAZY CRAP TOTALL CRAZY CRAP 1 stars
5/11/02 english marky goood film 5 stars
2/27/02 Rebecca Turk When I see how well you act, then I'll listen to what you have to say about wonderful actor 5 stars
2/16/02 Toni Margello I think this moie was marketed wrong and should have been portrayed as a heart felt drama 5 stars
1/05/02 Andrew Carden Such A Crappy and Boring Waste Of Time. 1 stars
12/09/01 Tam Avoided plenty of stepmother cliches. Good screenplay. Vivacious performance from Roberts. 4 stars
4/12/01 Siena Coppa Awsome Movie!!! It made me cry 5 stars
4/09/01 Gary I really liked this movie. Roberts is wonderful and it is funny. 5 stars
2/05/01 Doug I liked it simply because Julia Roberts is the best actress ever! 5 stars
3/18/00 Lame-Oh yucky movie 1 stars
12/03/99 Bozo Worse than almost anything; so bad I can't even believe it 1 stars
9/16/99 strike I expacted a 90's Terms of Endearment.Hell,even Evening Star was much better than this shit 1 stars
7/12/99 Adam Chowndy I thought that this movie was great. Even though some critics call it cheap, it's worth it. 5 stars
6/06/99 Arkansas Jon Definite chick flick. A few chuckles. Not memorable, but not unbearable. 3 stars
2/23/99 Mira Sarandon wasted in glam Hollywood 'tragedy', sappy to the point of annoyance. 2 stars
2/18/99 Derek Total Hollywood-gloss treatment of serious issue- but I kind of bought it anyway 4 stars
2/11/99 Dasha A good, if not really memorable, weepie 4 stars
1/24/99 Meepos. "If you like big teeth" is the best quote all year, but the movie was syruppy. 2 stars
1/23/99 Hannah I cried a lot but it still kinda sucked. 3 stars
1/23/99 MR HOLLYWOOD!! this movie really drags long and hard, BUT, its oscar material & it made my g'friend cry 4 stars
1/19/99 loborojo@hotmail.com Kleenex made a whole lotta dough on dis one. 3 stars
1/15/99 MilhousFan Good god! This movie was fucking awful! Worst movie EVER! 1 stars
1/11/99 Mr Showbiz Sarandon lends the proceedings an ounce of dignity, but Harris and Roberts are wasted. 2 stars
1/06/99 famillier Would've been better if not for that make-me-puke lip sync scene. 3 stars
1/04/99 JLB a Lifetime made-for-cable movie made with expensive actors 3 stars
12/30/98 PirateGirl Chris -- here, have some answers. Blech. 3 stars
12/17/98 Bryan An effective affecting tearjerker! Great acting. 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  25-Dec-1998 (PG-13)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  21-Jan-1999


Directed by
  Chris Columbus

Written by
  Gigi Levangie

Cast
  Julia Roberts
  Susan Sarandon
  Ed Harris
  Jena mallone
  Liam Aiken
  Lynn Whitfield



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