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Overall Rating

Worth A Look: 25.98%
Just Average: 17.08%
Pretty Crappy: 10.32%
Sucks: 15.66%

9 reviews, 227 user ratings

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Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
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by Dust For Eyes

"Shit Magic Happens"
4 stars

A Harry Potter movie, eh? Never heard that was happening.

Reading the first Potter book I was overwhelmed over how underwhelmed I was about it. Itís not a bad book by any stretch of the imagination certainly, but I was definitely not going: Oh my God a hundred sqintillion people (or how ever many the hell it is) need to read this book! Itís a very good, fun childrenís story. Nothing more nothing less.

It does however have one great feature in that it teaches kids that adults are lame and black magic is fun. Now that is awesome. That is a reason for hundred sqintillion kids to read the books.

The huge problem with Harry Potter is that adults like to read them. A sure sign that something is seriously wrong.

Hey kids, if your parents like it, stay well away. Youíve got to be into something that completely mystifies them in how you could like it. You donít want your parents running through the aisles dragging your arm to the merchandise section at Rip-Offs-R-Us.

And kids, If you insist on degrading yourself into actually reading a book rather than spending 20 hours a day on PS2 then go for Lemony Snicket. His dark, depressing adventures of the Baudelaire children will leave your parents stupefied as to why you would like them. Thatís precisely the reaction you want.

Snicket is far superior to Potter. Potter has his tired old cheery characters and happy endings -


Snicket would put Potter in the cupboard and leave him there.


Until he DIES.

See kids? Parents wouldnít want you to read that. So thatís exactly what you should be reading.

So with the underwhelming nature of the Potter books and the lack of praise for the Snicket books, I go into this movie with bewilderment and resentment - as you always should for a movie.

Despite the kids in the audience being rather excitable waiting for the film to start, you didnít hear a word from them during the film. Not a peep - they were enthralled for the entire film

As is the case for Apocalypse Now Redux, the time flies by in the film despite the excessive length. While Potter is not up there with Apocalypse it is nevertheless a testament to Potter that it effortlessly keeps the audience (especially the kids) interested.

Potter doesnít have any napalm though -

Hey! Wouldnít it be cool to have an ANR-style squadron of wizards on brooms flying in to the sounds of Wagnerís Ride of the Valkeries. With Harry - driven to the edge of insanity over the conflict with Slytherin House - sent on a mission deep into the heart of darkness of the Forbidden Forest to kill You-Know-Who. Oh look. Thereís Playboy bunny Hermione! Woooooo. I love the smell of napalmed wizards in the morning! B-B-B bar barm, B-B-B bar barm, B-B-B BAR barm . . .

While the film did keep us interested, it probably could have done with a little bit of trimming. I mean really, at 152 minutes, that is damn long. A few sequences that didnít really propel the story (or future stories) could probably have been left out.

Emma Watson acts the pants off the other kids. Which is telling since as these kids grow up into their teenage years they probably will be interested in things that involve getting each otherís pants off . . . Oh my God did I just say that?

Of the adults, Rickman scene steals as usual and Coltrane is, as always, excellent. Iím a fan of the old school English actors, and they all do a terrific job in their over the top roles. Harris gives a suitably solemn interpretation of Dumbledore.

The true horror (the horror . . . the horror . . . ha!) surrounding the film comes from some of the decisions being considered for the film adaptation such as getting Steven Spielberg to direct, changing the setting to LA, and have Haley Osment as Harry - damn they would have ruined it.

With all the pre-twentieth century styling, odd names and exaggerated characters the film feels very much like a Charles Dickens novel. Itís all very old-fashioned Englishness. Thankfully preserved from the book.

Ultimately this is a companion piece to the book. Unusually - for me - reading the book first is recommended. Or at least take a child who will help fill you in on things (As some things arenít clear - such as Snapeís history with Potter). It will also build up a wonderful sense of anticipation.

Will the phenomenon last seven films? Itís a big ask.

There have been long term franchises that are successful like Star Wars (even though it had a big hiatus period) Star Trek (it injected a brand new cast for their seventh film), James Bond (five Bonds and counting), but none are as ambitious as Potter.

Working against it is that childrenís fads donít last that long. Potter will have to rise above the level of fad, and become a literary and cinema landmark. Itís a daunting, near impossible, prospect.

If nothing this film tells you how to pronounce Hermione. Yet there is more than that. Itís full of life and charm, fresh, fun and magic. This film will satisfy the legion of fans who love the books as much as Colonel Kurtz was loved by his followers.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=3892&reviewer=166
originally posted: 12/02/01 22:11:50
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Trilogy Starters: For more in the Trilogy Starters series, click here.

User Comments

3/22/15 HunterB i'm glad so many people insult this beep because i hated it so mush. poor potterhead 1 stars
3/02/15 john lasseter can you compare this film with the fellowship of the ring? 2 stars
2/27/15 ewoks HARRY POTTER PHENOMENA IS *BEEP* 1 stars
2/20/15 DrRyAn idiot flick ever 1 stars
2/19/15 hhshjjsjj truly WORST FILM EVER MADE 5 stars
2/14/15 enicmatic al just average not horrible and not good 3 stars
2/13/15 movie fan all harry potter films are shit 1 stars
2/11/15 kenika shite 2 stars
2/08/15 russel woth but childish 3 stars
1/12/15 charlie watch LOTR and then compare with this shit 1 stars
1/10/15 john fuck you potter fan 1 stars
1/10/15 mister empire wow for children! 1 stars
1/09/15 michael SHIT 1 stars
1/08/15 vendoza most supid movie of all time. hands down! 1 stars
1/07/15 vanessa i hate this crap! 1 stars
1/06/15 steffany most childish movie ever made! 1 stars
6/10/12 Gob Hollow, shallow, boring, tedious, 3rd-rate 1 stars
3/11/10 cr a good movie and great characters, wonderful effects and story. 4 stars
1/27/10 Dane Youssef One of the better family films to come out that year. Something good for the kiddies. 3 stars
1/12/10 Quirinius Snobb Fairly faithful adaptation, which works. 4 stars
7/26/09 David Good adaption 4 stars
7/13/09 cody interesting movie with a good story and good effects, but slowed, the last 20 mins saved it 2 stars
1/26/09 Shaun Wallner Awesome Film. 5 stars
6/08/08 Akarsh Budhraja Fantastic movie 5 stars
4/03/08 bloody mustache such a hollow, hollow film 1 stars
3/29/08 Pamela White can't count the errs with the book but cute story 4 stars
1/29/08 Laladina REALLY GOOD!!!!!q 5 stars
11/19/07 marcela samora it was fucking retarted... 1 stars
8/18/07 CHRISTOPHER BANU Loved this movie to bits, cant wait for the next installments of the series 5 stars
7/26/07 Bitchflaps Entertaining, although too much like a job well done rather than a real film, 3 stars
7/11/07 Hello Stranger prisoner of azkaban movie has to be the best. out of the franchise. this one sucked majorly 1 stars
5/05/07 aL wA7sH The book was so much better... the movie sucked 2 stars
4/18/07 Stevo UK If you are a retard, I strongly suggest this movie. If not, stay away. 1 stars
3/20/07 dude good movie 4 stars
2/13/07 Kalman its my favourite movie ever 5 stars
11/19/06 Ionicera Well, Oliver Wood was cute, anyway 3 stars
10/17/06 Mini HP is now my life XD 5 stars
9/01/06 Stanley Thai A great family film. 5 stars
8/08/06 Dragon The Artist The Harry Potter phenomena is an overrated, semi-kid friendly,popcorn flick. 3 stars
8/04/06 David Cohen Captures the spirit of the book as well as any movie could 5 stars
6/11/06 Dave Webber Great sense of dry humour - like a classic British novel 4 stars
4/21/06 Jack This movie is just magic 5 stars
1/25/06 Sean Hartlieb This film has good magic, just really dull setting. 3 stars
12/27/05 tony Amazing! One of the greatest fantasy movies in the world! 5 stars
12/01/05 a a 1 stars
11/27/05 mew Liked the others but the 1st film was so empty, hollow and souless I almost died of boredom 1 stars
11/26/05 Daveman Decent film, but the least impressive in the series so far, plot sags in the first half. 3 stars
11/23/05 chris very good 5 stars
11/22/05 Quigley I have nothing against colombus or the CG, but harry sounded - shall we say - not human 3 stars
11/15/05 Adrian Looking past the child acting, this is without a doubt a gem. 5 stars
10/26/05 dobo fuks potter shite 0/5 1 stars
10/18/05 Valerie really cool! just awesome! 5 stars
9/15/05 Jonathon Holmes as juvenile as "The Phantom Menace", but neater eye candy & some good supporting work 3 stars
8/11/05 Littlepurch Think the film's gd. For ES, Americans don't know what a Philiosopher is, so title changed. 4 stars
8/11/05 ES philosopher's stone the original title, the US got sorcerer's stone, I wonder why? 4 stars
7/28/05 Allison it was good 5 stars
6/18/05 ravindra gaur students 4 stars
5/26/05 tony great plot but toooooo long. but still very good 5 stars
4/21/05 Pippin007 This movie is GAY!! Who would give it 5? 1 stars
4/12/05 scott einig harry must have been castrated, along with Ron, who is a freakishly nerdy weiner 3 stars
3/25/05 Valerie Awesome! 5 stars
3/17/05 Nic T there is no magic at all, no impressive acting, and horrible special effects! good luck HP! 2 stars
2/15/05 thomas hopkins it was realy good 5 stars
1/30/05 Bonnie James Excellent 5 stars
12/18/04 roy TOTAL SHIT 1 stars
10/25/04 lotrEEproper owns lol harry potter lmao u little 12 y olds,u suck,lotr rules over this shi& 1 stars
8/05/04 Anthony G that girl in the movie is fucking hott as fuck even though she is 12 3 stars
7/02/04 American Slasher Goddess Too cutesy for it's own good, but passable. 3 stars
6/12/04 Daveman Not as suspenseful or as technically accomplished as the other two but still very good. 4 stars
6/02/04 Angel Quite good adaptation. 4 stars
6/01/04 T-2 Hellava lot better fantasy movie than Lord Of The Rings... 4 stars
5/13/04 Danielo Asdino Oh,no!The movie is bad!Not that good like book! 2 stars
5/10/04 Tim The movie was prettty good, and i would have to agree that Emma Watson, is quite a hottie! 5 stars
5/07/04 Michael EMMA WATSON IS SO DAMN HOT!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
4/24/04 Carla condensation sucks, i would rather watch 5 hours of the whole thing 3 stars
2/27/04 ian good 5 stars
2/01/04 Rocko horse shit 1 stars
11/18/03 Johnny's Been Rotten Awesome movie. It made Diagon Alley and Hogwarts totally come alive! Rickmas as Snape :-) 5 stars
11/02/03 American Slasher Goddess Fluffy, a little overlong for a kid's movie, but not bad. 3 stars
10/18/03 Littlepurch Too much cut from book. Good acting tho and a gr8 cast, but Harry really annoyed me!!! 4 stars
10/17/03 Mariel Cappetta IT WAS TOTALLY RETARTED!!!!!!!!!!!1 1 stars
8/20/03 I Love Daniel Radcliffe The movie was awsome and so was the charictor selection 5 stars
8/13/03 Panda could hav stuck more to plot---otherwise...great!!!!!! 5 stars
7/30/03 Patrick Conner Kelley A superb work of art, however, it did not quite meet all fans' expectations 5 stars
7/30/03 patrick Awesome, totally cool! 5 stars
7/21/03 Monster W. Kung Mediocre and instantly forgettable. Overhyped like hell. 2 stars
7/17/03 blabity blah blah blah Followed the book as truthfully as it could. Awesome sets. Good story. 5 stars
7/06/03 Emperor's New Clothes? Nope. Just a Fat, Ugly, Naked, Guy. Doesn't do justice to the books. Why J.K, you sellout, procrastinating, greedy ho? Why? 2 stars
6/24/03 Harry's magic 'wand' You know where i'd like to shove his broom stick........ 1 stars
6/03/03 HP lover The movie totally rocked!!!!!!!! Daniel Radcliffe , Rupert grint and Tom Felton are great! 5 stars
5/24/03 Bloody Vixen The movie is a vile interpertation of the book, enough said. More eye candy than substance. 2 stars
5/21/03 I HATE EMMA WARTSON sHE sucks!! she ruined the movie with her overacting 1 stars
5/18/03 ALLY IT ROCKS 5 stars
5/17/03 TLsmooth Good adaptation of a fantastic book. 4 stars
4/27/03 ScRoOgED Nothing special. Don't believe the hype, it's a sequel. 2 stars
4/26/03 Shadaan Felfeli i enjoyed this one better than the sequel. Again too many characters and jibberish places ! 4 stars
4/23/03 Heather Purplethorne Kinda lame compared to sequel about the chamber pot of secrets. 3 stars
4/16/03 Jon "Thumb the Toad" Lyrik A Classic, and Just Short of Better. 5 stars
4/05/03 Bloody Vixen The only worth while thing about the movie is the Draco. 2 stars
4/01/03 Mr. Do OK, we have here the most f*cking overblown hype in human history. Stick this film up your 1 stars
3/29/03 Liz I LOVE the HP series, but I hate the movies. Emma Watson should die. 2 stars
3/27/03 Ionicera glossy but lifeless adaptation 2 stars
3/26/03 Taylor A decent fantasy film for all ages. I really can't say much beyond that 3 stars
3/16/03 G-man a very bad influence on kids 1 stars
2/09/03 FcPoliFan Too bad... 3 stars
2/05/03 MovieFan It was a great movie. Quit trying to compare it to LOTH. They are far too different. 5 stars
1/30/03 ? HARRY POTTER SUCKS ASS 1 stars
1/23/03 Andy Bronson anyone who has anything good to say about this movie should fuck off and watch a good film 1 stars
12/28/02 Harrys Turds Anybody who enjoys this movie is braindead. GET A LIFE MORONS! 1 stars
12/27/02 Rayna Kuzio I didn't think I would like the movie until I sat down and watched it! Awesome! 5 stars
11/15/02 Big Ted Columbus is a hack. Kloves saves the film. Watson is the best actor of the 3. 3 stars
11/15/02 Jenny Tullwartz Where do the girls poo after their crapper is destroyed? 4 stars
11/13/02 Rabid Lord of The Rings Fan The book was great, but the magic was left out from the movie. 1 stars
10/20/02 sarah good book, bad movie; lord of the rings is the best translation, hydrian! 1 stars
10/14/02 Joana It's a good a movie but the book is tons better! 5 stars
10/08/02 Chance never read the book until I saw the movie. loved the movie. 5 stars
10/07/02 Sheridan Flat and lifeless and above all brainless. For dumbed-down fools or under-10's 1 stars
10/05/02 TheOthersFan Tries too hard to preserve the insignificant details, and leaves major plot holes. 3 stars
9/28/02 Peter Sherlock Pity about Harry's inability to act 2 stars
9/26/02 John McNew Didn't care about the sensless story or the dull lead character 3 stars
9/11/02 Zefram Mann Great movie. Excellent Williams score and tons of charm. 5 stars
9/04/02 Hydrian One of the best book to movie translations ever. 5 stars
9/02/02 AshFan The kids in it, who have barely any experience, are wonderful. For all ages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
8/29/02 Jesse Probably not appreciated much by burned out morons but great for everyone else 5 stars
8/05/02 sarahfar88 give #4 to Jackson, i hope that Spanish guy can make #3 good like the book, i wont see #2 1 stars
7/26/02 barely legal Are you intelligent? Then watch LOTR instead 1 stars
7/20/02 sdjfsdkjf should have had more snape and where the fuck was peeves? Still good though. 5 stars
7/08/02 henry ginsberg i LOVE harry 5 stars
6/22/02 7of9 Warning to over 15's: prepared to be bored. Kids? Enjoy... 2 stars
6/12/02 swetething3000 great - mvie #4 is gonna be rated R and by #5 snape will be inluv and well hav sex scenes 5 stars
6/11/02 sarahfar88 Give the rights to Jackson. He can make the other, more violent books into great movies. 2 stars
6/11/02 hum i would have loved this as a kid but i dont see the apeal for adults 3 stars
6/06/02 Joe Levy Brilliant 5 stars
6/05/02 I'm in (L) with a Jedi get the $10 u spent on the ticket and buy the book ull get more enjoyment! 2 stars
6/02/02 Keith probably okay for people under age 13, but otherwise, YAWN. 3 stars
6/01/02 QT Pie Awsome 5 stars
6/01/02 Chris I loved everything about this film. One of the greatest movies ever made. 5 stars
6/01/02 Justin Great! 5 stars
5/30/02 Matt Is it just me or does Snape look like Trent Reznor? 4 stars
5/24/02 Danielle Ophelia Hopefully I missed the bandwagon. Silly fucks. 4 stars
5/16/02 Candace Troy Powers I hoped it'd deal with issue of where girls would poop after their bathroom was trashed! 3 stars
5/15/02 Tiffany Faye Hawthorne Ponderously slow getting started, but second half is good. 4 stars
4/20/02 Film Guy Surprisingly well done movie. Anyone who makes fun of me for liking this I'll kick your ass 5 stars
4/18/02 CHONG PUI SIM Very best 5 stars
4/03/02 Cecilia A generally good movie; I really liked it, but Daniel Radcliffe badly needs acting classes. 4 stars
3/27/02 Lindsay Cormier Totally awesome too bad for u fuckers who have no taste 5 stars
3/22/02 hongkongkian totalli disappointing...left me wondering why the heck the books were so popular 1 stars
3/15/02 kalman and chris banu it was grate 5 stars
3/05/02 Turtle Great movie, but they hacked too much off of the beginning. 5 stars
2/28/02 Chowie im pretty pissed i read the books first-t'was pretty boring 4 me........................... 2 stars
2/27/02 boggle the biggest pile of shite ive seen in a long while! 1 stars
2/25/02 Hewrd Frost Awesome! What did'ya expect? It's the biggest movie of 2001! 5 stars
2/16/02 Ashley Thompson definitly a reasonable adaptation 5 stars
2/16/02 Devil Boy B This "film" had no Magic. Danny DeVito should have direct 2 stars
2/07/02 sarahfar88 Get a new cast and Peter Jackson. Only he should be aloud to make movies from books. 4 stars
2/06/02 nizam aziz excellent magician movie! 5 stars
1/22/02 Some Guy This was horrible. The kid can not act. Give me a good actor and I may watch it again..... 1 stars
1/14/02 liz what the hell were you thinking? it was complete and utter CRAP! the acting sux! 1 stars
1/11/02 Audra I loved it!! No wonder it broke five records when it came out. Fantastic movie! 5 stars
1/05/02 gregory mcmillan i think that the movie was the best movie i ever saw. 5 stars
1/01/02 Joe Zappa Better than I originally thought it was gonna be. 4 stars
1/01/02 Britney Spears Dumbledore was SO hot!! 5 stars
12/31/01 Ryan this is bull! id rather watch barney!!!! i hate daniel readcliffe! he is such an idiot.. 1 stars
12/31/01 Henry Ginsberg what is all the fuss about? the storyline was teedeous, and the acting was generaly poor. 3 stars
12/30/01 RoboGuy I loved it and found it very true to the book. The second viewing was even better. 5 stars
12/27/01 Flick Chick not quite a classic, but entertaining for both young and old alike. 4 stars
12/20/01 Tinka Disapppointing by-the-number adaptation that even manages to lose some of the magic. Pardon 3 stars
12/20/01 Goldhammer Technically well-done adaptation that neatly captures the book's pointless amoral vaccuum. 3 stars
12/16/01 spaceworm Somewhere between 1964 Mary Poppins and 1967 Doctor Dolittle. 4 stars
12/14/01 Jack Hunter an 80 year old, I've read the first 2, andloved the movie. 5 stars
12/13/01 white tiger Nice, if you haven't read the book. 4 stars
12/11/01 viking could have been worse 4 stars
12/10/01 puckfreak Just OK 4 stars
12/07/01 Waylon Roundtree I was blown away, and ended up liking this movie a hell of a lot more than I expected! 5 stars
12/07/01 Axe Murderer hype=bad 3 stars
12/07/01 Faraz Jalal Not to exciting a thing, compared to the book. Disappointed 2 stars
12/05/01 Jake A classic! Great performances all around. 5 stars
12/04/01 Jimbo Kids only movie 4 stars
12/04/01 Bid-wad excellent, and the films not bad either 5 stars
12/03/01 Andrew Carden Radcliffe Gives A Weak Performance, but Grant is Great. 3 stars
12/03/01 Saw_it_yesterday Friggin Awesome 5 stars
12/02/01 Jimmy James rather cheesy, but very watchable (at least, the first time through) 4 stars
12/02/01 Matan Dahan WOW 5 stars
12/02/01 travis r. sorensen effects below star wars standards, too long yet rushed, and quidditch kinda sucked. 3 stars
12/02/01 jawsboy24 Fun, but it had a shitty beginning and only average effects. Some bad editing also. 3 stars
12/01/01 Matthew Bartley Never read the book but loved this. 5 stars
11/30/01 discerning viewer fun but mediocre, dullish 3 stars
11/29/01 Mr. Hat (formerly Joe Zappa) I originally didn't want to see this, but when I did,I didn't think it was very bad at all. 4 stars
11/29/01 Amy Overblown and few laughs. 3 stars
11/28/01 Quess Paraya The book made visual - just like I wanted it. 5 stars
11/28/01 Mortis I was very surprized at how good this film is. I highly recommend it. 4 stars
11/28/01 E.P. a much-needed dose of innocence 5 stars
11/27/01 Xalt Coooooool. I'm glad they kept it close to the book. 4 stars
11/27/01 bradgray96 Great acting. Still a children's movie, but most of the great ones are. 4 stars
11/26/01 Nyartholep Decent enough, a little better than I expected. 4 stars
11/26/01 Brian Excellent Movie for all ages. 5 stars
11/26/01 The Flaming Chancehead A great film experience for all ages! Fun, magical, and a pleasure all around! 5 stars
11/26/01 bobber Just not worth full price. 3 stars
11/24/01 GP Good movie!! Needs a little more UMPH, and excitement, not just suspense on what is coming. 4 stars
11/24/01 hilary aesome 5 stars
11/23/01 miyax left a funny commercial-cheese taste behind... 4 stars
11/23/01 Freyja Has flaws, but who cares, it made me feel like a kid again 5 stars
11/23/01 Mom & Harry Fan Take it for what it iz - a dazzling film 5 stars
11/22/01 Blaise fantastic translation of an excellent book. someone teach hermioine to act 4 stars
11/20/01 Katie Loved the books..expected too much fromt he film..but it was still really good 5 stars
11/20/01 Butterbean Excessive hype by the media annoyed me, but it was a very good movie. 5 stars
11/20/01 tom F. Can an adaptation be TOO faithful to the book? YES, but still very good. 4 stars
11/19/01 jim donal hype and no substance 1 stars
11/19/01 Heather One of this year's best, truly amazing movie 5 stars
11/19/01 Michelle Candocia I wish it were longer,to capture more of the book, but still a fantastic ride 4 stars
11/18/01 Rabbits running The movie is good! I'd have love to see it as a mini series myself but that's just me. 4 stars
11/18/01 Boy In The Designer Bubble Read all 4 books, the movie was good, but the hype nearly kept me away!! 4 stars
11/18/01 Meryl Kopy Loved it ~ not as much as the books, of which I'm a great fan, but I loved it all the same. 5 stars
11/18/01 Martinelli's I never read 'em, but these are wonderful, charming movies. Emma Watson is adorable too. A+ 5 stars
11/18/01 E disappointing 3 stars
11/17/01 grunter Cliff Notes "Potter" or "The Worst Witch:The Motion Picture" - flat, lifeless, inert 2 stars
11/17/01 brent i highly recommend the film (and erik, harry potter kicks willy wonka's ass). 4 stars
11/17/01 Maypo Retlaw It was very good. I think it captured the magic of the story quite well. 5 stars
11/17/01 Unanon They did as best they could, but nothing beats the book! 4 stars
11/17/01 Reverend Krule Form was way over function on this one 2 stars
11/17/01 Morrison Hodges great 5 stars
11/16/01 Max Feingold Really bad. Total mess. No plot or character development. Coltrane is good. 2 stars
11/16/01 Alex Severely disappointing 1 stars
11/16/01 Emily It was great 5 stars
11/16/01 Frankie anged storylines and changed the names of places 3 stars
11/11/01 laura jones its great,really worth a look 5 stars
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