"This film is an insult to everyone who's ever written a word."
Just what America needs. More proof to the world that we are morons.I will tell you the one upside to this film... and you all know what it is... but since some people are repressed, I'll spell it out for you
Kate Winslet's tits... along with those perfect little pink-pea nipples of her's, jutting out for all the world to see.
I hear in Utah, they're editing that out. God help us all.
James Cameron, if you're listening?
No, I know what you're thinking... haha, Smalltown, he always kids. I'm serious. Kill yourself. If you have some dignity, blow yourself up so that your residue can be used as organic fertilizer.
I could write a better script by dropping a tab of acid, shoving a crayon up my ass, running a marathon and filming whatever incomprehensable gibberish was written on my underwear.
HOW many times did they say "Oh, gosh, this boat is so unsinkable, wouldn't it be ironic if it sunk?"
HOW many times did Jack's sidekicks say "We're the ethnic sidekicks from central casting... since we're Italian and Irish, we'll go drink and eat pasta until we die clichedly noble deaths"
Did you HAVE to create the painfully obvious subtext that the granddaughter and the captian were fallling in love as karmic redemption for Jack and Rose?
Did all the British people have to be evil?
"Jack" "Rose" "Jack" "ROSE" "JACK!" "ROSE!" "Wanna fuck in a car?" "Sure!"
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, JIMMY? HAVE YOU NO FUCKING DIGNITY WHAT SOEVER? Kill yourself.
Granted, it was superbly directed, lushly shot and decorated and the actors, for the most part, did the best they could with your EXCRUICIATINGLY CLICHED PIECE OF SHIT SCRIBBLE SCRIPT... but that ain't nothin, kid.
You know the old Hollywood saying...
"If it ain't on the page... kill yourself."It's like that scene in "Johnny Come Marching Home"... I just keep hitting my head in morse code. "S.O.S" Kill me. Kill me.