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Overall Rating
1.8

Awesome: 5.88%
Worth A Look: 9.8%
Just Average: 5.88%
Pretty Crappy: 15.69%
Sucks62.75%

2 reviews, 39 user ratings


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Johnny Mnemonic
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by Ryan Arthur

"It's yucky."
1 stars

If it wasn't so awful it would be quite funny to watch.

Everything about this movie is dumb.

The effects are lame, the acting is shit, the plot is nonexistent.

Welcome to Keanu's world.

He's a cyber courier, see, and he stores information in his noggin (so it's a small amount of info, because let's face it, Keanu isn't the brightest bulb on the string of Christmas lights, now is he?), and he's missing a chunk of his childhood to make room for all the whimsical stuff he's got in his noodle. Follow? Well, Keanu gets some nasty stuff stored in the ol' beartrap. Getting it out's gonna be a bitch, and all he wants back is his long term memory.

This would all probably be interesting if the movie was even the least bit good.

But it isn't.

So there.

Henry Rollins is in it. That's cool. But don't mistake his coolness for the movie being cool, because you'll get burned.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=409&reviewer=7
originally posted: 09/09/98 12:20:47
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User Comments

12/03/08 Shaun Wallner This movie was stupid! 1 stars
3/28/08 Pamela White Reeves not hos best 3 stars
6/27/07 fools♫gold *puke* At least it's not the worst movie ever; think Final Destination 3. *puke* 1 stars
5/12/07 man this film is good for wiping my ass with, a drawn on plank would actually be better than k 1 stars
12/14/06 A Replicant hilarious film 1 stars
3/01/06 Anthony Feor Not a good movie 1 stars
2/09/06 JM Synth Dolph is funny; film is tedious and messy 1 stars
12/15/05 Maven After watching a friend or two chop off their own limbs, they didn't want a monofili-whip 3 stars
11/25/05 CONSTANTINE AWESOME... If they remade it TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
10/01/05 Karl Rove "It's a fish!" Blade Runner a la Glenn A. Larson. 1 stars
5/19/04 Sam Drake I liked it a lot. 4 stars
5/03/04 Mike Hunt this is ghey!!!! 1 stars
3/20/04 Jack-pyschO-Lantern So there was a time before the Matrix??????????????????????????????????????????????????? 5 stars
1/25/04 Vicious the superstation loves to play shit like this, why? 1 stars
3/25/03 Jack Sommersby More like "Johnny Moronic". 1 stars
1/18/03 Sugarfoot Dolph is the redeeming quality, if that doesn't say anything, I don't know what does. 1 stars
1/02/03 Jackson Matson Keanu is a fag, Dolph sucks, Ice T sucks, Rollins can lick the crust on my anal hair. 1 stars
9/29/02 Charles Tatum Bad, not that bad, but bad 2 stars
2/27/02 Gracy Lionheart Sigh...I shake my head at this movie. *Two minute head shake commences* 2 stars
1/09/02 Omar Daal Underrated?? Creative?? So is a piece of moist shit from my ass. FUCK Johnny Mneumonic. 1 stars
12/28/01 Andrew Carden Underrated Movie That's Worth A Look For It's Creative Plot and Effects. 4 stars
10/17/01 Shane Robert Myers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's good but not great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 stars
10/10/01 Michael Root All Hail Henry Rollins 1 stars
1/08/01 Keanuette Keanu Reeves as a cool cyberdude! Great movie! 5 stars
9/03/00 jetcat fun, cheesy, 80s scifi flick--embrace the badness 4 stars
11/26/99 Chef ADogg This was the coolest thing to me in the sixth grade. 2 stars
10/13/99 Lame-Oh (punch in the face) Thanks for nothing, Keanu. 1 stars
9/05/99 godsdog Should've borrowed more from Gibson's SStory. Not a huge Gibson fan, anyways. Good action. 3 stars
7/07/99 Ben Leostein Rating: * (out of ****) Category: "Poor" 2 stars
6/15/99 Dylan Would someone please introduce keanu to a fucking Uzi or a AK47, or something. 1 stars
4/21/99 Ah Dooey One word: zort 1 stars
11/12/98 Jules New Rose Hotel was a much better story, but if the same people make it, it'll be shite too. 2 stars
9/24/98 ShadowStar William Gibson (the guy who coined the phrase "Cyberspace") wrote it. Pretty good flick. 4 stars
9/15/98 Negative Creep Rollins maybe in it but so is Dolph Lundgren as JESUS? I could see this 20 times a day 2 stars
9/13/98 Johny It's not a good movie, but it's not the worst thing ever made either 2 stars
9/09/98 Bruce Willis' mama. At least Keanu didn't do Speed 2. But this was awful. 1 stars
9/06/98 Admiral Mung Bean Soda (+/- 12db) Keanu delivers his best performance yet as a wooden plank. 1 stars
8/24/98 The Capital City Goofball Yucky. 1 stars
8/20/98 The Man With The Helmet It's got Rollins in it. And Keanu. You take the bad with the good. 2 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  26-May-1995 (R)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  23-Nov-1995 (M)


Directed by
  Robert Longo

Written by
  William Gibson

Cast
  Keanu Reeves
  Dina Meyer
  Ice-T
  Takeshi Kitano
  Dennis Akayama
  Dolph Lundgren



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