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Overall Rating
1.92

Awesome: 9.09%
Worth A Look: 9.09%
Just Average: 11.36%
Pretty Crappy: 5.68%
Sucks64.77%

6 reviews, 52 user ratings


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Soldier
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by Ryan Arthur

"I expected it to suck. I wasn't disappointed in that respect."
1 stars

Ever see Escape From L.A.? This is worse.

Beware movies that costar Gary Busey.

Ugh. Soldier. I saw the trailer in theaters last fall and cringed. I saw the dismal grosses and laughed. I saw the box at the video store and...

I rented.

When will I learn, kids, when will I learn?

I used to believe that even a bad movie was better than no movie at all.

Now I'm not so certain.

This was basically The Solo-Universal-Terminator-Robo-Soldier movie. Killing machine learns to live amongst the natives, then has to defend them, 'cause he somehow grew a heart of gold.

Uh-uh. Been done before, and been done better.

Kurt Russell *can* be good. He's not here. He's given the Ah-nuld maximum of a few dozen lines (all laughable) and is more stone faced than...well, nothing. He beats everyone else's stoic looks, just because he's Kurt Russell, and a better actor than most of his would-be action star peers.

But I reserve my bile for Paul Anderson.

You, sir, can lick my nutsac.

I find it hard to believe that the budget for the movie was between $75 and $80 million, but yet the backgrounds all look like cheap, motel room paintings and the process shots and CGI make Deep Impact look natural. He's made a B-movie on a Bruckheimer budget, and it's not even stylish. The sets are crap. The acting is shite (if Jason Scott Lee can't do another Bruce Lee biopic, he should quit acting entirely). The supporting cast is left dangling.

The effects?

Ugh. I'll say this for Event Horizon. While the story and execution there were horrible, at least some of the effects were passable.

Not so here.

It's another case of style over substance, but you know, it's not even stylish.

It's loud, though. Really loud.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=434&reviewer=7
originally posted: 03/25/99 12:07:16
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User Comments

4/02/13 PAUL SHORTT BRUTAL, DERIVATIVE SCIENCE-FICTION 1 stars
8/01/11 Chris F Not as bad as people say it is decent movie 4 stars
6/20/10 Jeff Wilder Awful script. Russell's not too bad. 2 stars
6/12/09 Wiseman @Q#*!$ 5 stars
3/13/08 Brant Williams The soldier's evolution into real feelings and friendships is outstanding. 5 stars
5/13/07 KingNeutron Ignore critics, this movie was totally AWESOME. Connie N + Kurt FTW! 5 stars
10/19/06 sanjay Kurt russell is awesomw as always 5 stars
8/17/05 ES The ideas presented in this film were excellent, action scenes are superb and a good story 5 stars
6/09/05 Indrid Cold Bad, but the ferocious, bone-crunching hand-to-hand combat at the end is worth it. 3 stars
5/29/05 Ruud de Graaf There is action, SF, a logic story line and Connie Neilsen. What more do you want? 4 stars
2/10/05 Jeff Anderson For all the cool & awesome talent on display, THIS FILM BLOWS! Russell walks away unscathed 1 stars
5/13/04 John surprisingly empty and predictable 2 stars
5/05/04 J.Peckerfoot Oh dear.Back away slowly from this film.Keep going.Bit more.Thats it.Keep real quiet. 1 stars
4/12/04 gromm Great premise. Good start. Soldier starts to get a soul, then the fight starts... 2 stars
2/18/04 sweetgrrl1972 The textbook definition of "Popcorn Flick"! 4 stars
1/24/04 maxpayne at nyc.com you peeps don't get it, that's all - anyone needs to be enlightened, email me 5 stars
1/06/04 y2mckay I liked this for the same reason I liked 3KM to Graceland - mindless guilty-pleasure fun 3 stars
1/05/04 tatum Ka-Boom! Yawn... 1 stars
12/31/02 Jack Sommersby Not exactly original ,but it gets the job done. Russell is typically solid. 3 stars
1/21/02 Andrew Carden I Stopped Watching It After 20 Minutes. 1 stars
11/14/01 Zizzerzazzerzuzz Enjoyable but kinda dumb. At least Goldie Hawn isn't in it. 3 stars
8/18/01 Dr. Thompson The ending stunk, but it was pretty cool until then...whats up with you people? 4 stars
7/14/01 Rampage Damn you Russell. Also whoever made that movie. Loser. 1 stars
4/30/01 Thrillhouse don't waste your money on this dirtbag 1 stars
12/03/00 Cristopher Revilla good idea, but it all goes down to shit at the end, don't watch this, save your money. 1 stars
11/13/00 Crispin Cliched but well executed. So much better than the credit it gets. 4 stars
4/28/00 Pansy Russell's dumbest movie, worse than Solo 1 stars
10/19/99 Lame-Oh boring, tasteless, stupid, and illogical 1 stars
7/19/99 Imagoner Dude, it really sucked. Kurt Russell can't even act as an action hero! 1 stars
6/09/99 Hungry Hungry Hippo Kurt Russell knows how to play an action hero..... 5 stars
5/09/99 Ah Dooey I thought the movie was good... only to be a waste of my time! 1 stars
4/15/99 Mr. Kramitall no comment 1 stars
4/12/99 Go Swans People at my screening enjoyed this film. Then again, it was near Moe. 1 stars
3/24/99 James Coffey Horrible movie. Peoples said it exists in the same universe as 'Blade Runner'(blasphemy) 1 stars
3/09/99 Oggy bad bad bad bad 1 stars
1/30/99 El Dorko God, I'm outta here after seeing this putrid crap. What the hell was that? 1 stars
1/27/99 Whiplash Mr. BBQ Bob, multiple ratings are bad, okay? Just not do it again, okay? 1 stars
12/11/98 Joseph Blow Yhe horror.... the horror 1 stars
12/04/98 Jason Stein This movie sucked hard, THE worst of 98 1 stars
12/02/98 Kirgo An awful movie that wasn't even funny awful..what a waste. 1 stars
11/23/98 Ray Russ As penance for paying to watch this piece-of-shit I blinded myself 1 stars
11/16/98 Tom Ripley Great flick; did *anyone* else like it? 4 stars
11/12/98 Swan An excellent, but misread performance! Sociologically fascinating. Will becom cult favorite 5 stars
11/11/98 Nick Rogers Boring, uninspired, sleep-inducing 1 stars
11/06/98 Mr Showbiz The most militantly bad, cookie-cutter futuristic action movie since The Postman 1 stars
10/27/98 Negative Creep Damn Fine for action. But dont look for much else. 4 stars
10/27/98 Lord Of The Dunce What a stinker. 1 stars
10/26/98 Hunk@prodigy.net I have seen anything this bad since Mafia. 1 stars
10/24/98 16 in. of swingin' meat and a bucket of balls This movie smacks of ass. You came to the wrong place if you were looking for depth. 2 stars
10/19/98 Dark Horizons Warner Bros. has yet another sure-fire dud on their hands. 2 stars
9/22/98 Couch Potato Critic Though nowhere as good as Blade Runner, I enjoyed Peoples' script but still Anderson sucks. 4 stars
8/29/98 {{{OZ}}} Very shoddy. For $2 day only. Paul Anderson is a dead set hack. 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  23-Oct-1998 (R)
  DVD: 02-Mar-1999

UK
  N/A

Australia
  26-Nov-1998 (MA)




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