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Overall Rating

Awesome: 25%
Worth A Look56.25%
Just Average: 1.79%
Pretty Crappy: 7.14%
Sucks: 9.82%

10 reviews, 52 user ratings

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Spy Kids
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by Hawkboy

"Maybe I just missed something. I didn't like it at all."
2 stars

I work with kids (or at least I used to), and so maybe that's why this movie didn't work for me. Sure, it's great to look at, and full of imagination, but if Robert Rodriguez thinks that's what real kids act like, he's missed the boat. The kids I worked with woulda beat these kids to death with canoe paddles.

Here is my quick impression of every single scene in this movie:

Older Sister: "You are stupid."

Younger Brother: "No, you are."

Older Sister: "Here is a very complicated gadget. Don't touch it."

(Younger Brother touches it; something explodes)

OS: "Why did you touch that?"

YB: "Whoops!"

OS: "You are stupid."

YB: "No, you are."

(more explosions; Antonio Banderas looks swarthy)

It's a very NICE looking movie; it's obvious that Robert Rodriguez has some great ideas and would do a really nice job directing a James Bond movie. But JESUS, those kids are annoying.

Quick plot: Antonio Banderas and Carla "hubba-hubba" Gugino are the parents from "True Lies", only Mexican. They get kidnapped by Willy Wonka. Danny Trejo is Q. But the spies....they're KIDS!

The performances by the adults are good; Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino do a fine job with pretty sketchy roles. Alan Cumming is pretty subdued - there's one near-musical number that was written by Danny Elfman, but it stops halfway through, probably because Elfman realised he had already used it in "Nightmare Before Christmas". It gives a clue to what the movie COULD have been, you know, if it were good. Tony Shalhoub is great, but underused. There are a lot of "Hey, look who it is!" moments, but they don't add up to much. And of course, the kids (particularily the younger one) are INSANELY annoying. If kids were really that stupid, there'd be a lot more jungle gym fatalities per capita.

Kids'll love this movie; it's flashy, it's got lots of jokes about people getting hit in the head or falling over or sticking their tongue out at each other. And it'll be nice for kids to see other kids flying around in jetpacks. It'll provoke their imaginations or some shit like that. But compared to movies like "Toy Story 2", "Chicken Run", or even "Princess Bride", there really isn't anything there for adults, in my opinion.

But hey, reading everyone else's reviews, maybe there was something there for me and I just missed it. Who knows? All I know is, it just didn't work for me. And that's too bad, because I really wanted to like it.

And my friends hated it too. So I'm not alone here. There's an underground resistance growing! Catch the fever!

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=4708&reviewer=27
originally posted: 04/11/01 21:02:52
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User Comments

1/09/07 David Pollastrini not great, not terrible 3 stars
3/31/06 Rose Marie the director is crud, the movie is crap!the cast is all wrong and horibble! 1 stars
3/30/06 Anthony Feor A great kid flick 4 stars
3/25/06 Quigley whoa, people, explain the high ratings. it is crap. even antonio banderas didn't save it! 1 stars
9/14/05 Jonathon Holmes great fun 4 stars
8/05/05 Zack What was Robert Rodriguez thinking?!? 1 stars
6/13/05 Agent Sands An overlooked gem. 4 stars
12/09/04 Kristina Williams not a bad kids flick. I can sit through it without howling 4 stars
10/07/04 tatum Big loud fun 4 stars
8/30/04 aussieemmy hey this movie stars Cheech, so any one dissing this movie sucks! 5 stars
8/03/04 Katie This movie is great! The cast is awesome and the story is fun. 5 stars
5/31/04 Nobody Very fakey, somewhat boring, not very funny. 2 stars
12/02/03 Mr. Hat (previously Joe Zappa) It, as well as 2 & 3, are much better than the average kids' movie!! 5 stars
8/29/03 DEVON look, daryl is hot,smart, and turkish, you have a big mouth, you sorry jerk!!! 5 stars
7/25/03 Christian Harding Ideotic humor+some (as in 1 or 2) interesting scenes+weird characters=Spy Kids 3 stars
7/17/03 Chris Entertaing but not without flaws. Still it's style was unseen before. My family enjoyed it. 4 stars
6/20/03 jim movie sucks totall ass, unless ur a 6 year old, be ashamed of urself for liking this movie 1 stars
6/15/03 josh love to see an x-rated virsin 5 stars
6/09/03 Jareth Much better than the last 10 Bonds films 4 stars
2/20/03 scott SHUT UP ALEX THIS MOVIE ROCKS 5 stars
1/26/03 alex why do pussy like andrew patrick watch fuckin kid movies like spy kids, man up u littlegil 1 stars
12/16/02 Laura *Mrs. Floop* This movie is my favourite movie of all time. It is fantasticly made and Floop is gorgeous! 5 stars
8/24/02 Turkish blew total ass poo, jus rent the goonies instead, and andrew patricks a pussy 1 stars
8/16/02 Andrew Patrick Spy Kids Is Probably The Best Spy Movie Ever 5 stars
8/16/02 AJ Go in openminded and knowing its a kid's movie.. Overall it rocks 5 stars
8/16/02 scott great but spy kids 2 is better 4 stars
8/10/02 J I use to love it but after that lame "re-release" and better sequel I'm lowering my rating. 4 stars
7/27/02 spencer stupid shit that would never happen no plot 1 stars
6/11/02 qtpie Antonia Banderas was hot in those working glasses 5 stars
3/11/02 Emilia The bad guy is the weirdest..fits the whole movie 4 stars
1/19/02 Andrew Carden Uncomfortable and Uneven Kiddie Flick. 2 stars
12/26/01 Phil M. Afficianado Very cool. An eyefull of color and activity and imagination. Good spirited, too. Fun. 5 stars
10/15/01 Mr. Hat Some of the stuff is so cool, it makes me jealous because I don't have it. 5 stars
9/25/01 INCUBATOR Not funny, no nothing.....real piece of crap 1 stars
8/10/01 Jessel GREAT flick for the kids who will love it. Banderas is excellent, disliked only by skanks 4 stars
7/16/01 cheryl hated spy kids HATED antonio banderas - a greasy wetback with a lisp. 1 stars
6/21/01 sumair adfd 4 stars
5/19/01 Billy Blah at best 1 stars
5/09/01 Annie Tangalin It's alot funnier than any comedy show I've seen!!! 5 stars
4/20/01 *~Danielle*Ophelia~* (formerly KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi) Funnier than 8-out-of-10 gross-out comedies you'll see this year...I'm serious... 4 stars
4/19/01 Stephen Booth Appeals on many levels, not to saccerine but sweet enough not to scare the kids. 4 stars
4/16/01 gloria fantastic movie for adults and kids. 5 stars
4/16/01 JustJeff I liked "Play It to the Bone" better - too bad Antonio did whup on the brats in this flick. 1 stars
4/15/01 Rampage perfect for the entire family, Banderas was great 5 stars
4/09/01 The Bomb 69 very entertaining, kids, parents, and grandparents will all love it 5 stars
4/02/01 Danny Del Rossi Not since 'The Princess Bride' have I seen a movie with such multi-generational appeal. 5 stars
4/01/01 orpy Excellent, better than Crouching Tiger! 5 stars
4/01/01 Kevin Neece This film was funny 5 stars
3/30/01 B Monday Most entertaining blast of the past several years! Alexa Vega was terrific in her 1st role 5 stars
3/26/01 film fan Fun! 5 stars
3/24/01 JF Great movie with awesome special effects and characters! 5 stars
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  30-Mar-2001 (PG)


  20-Sep-2001 (PG)

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