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Overall Rating
1.8

Awesome: 6.67%
Worth A Look: 0%
Just Average: 6.67%
Pretty Crappy: 40%
Sucks46.67%

1 review, 9 user ratings


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Space Mutiny
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by Jaycie

"OK, seriously, what did you expect?"
2 stars

It's a space movie set in the cheesiest decade of filmmaking in anyone's memory, made famous entirely by Mystery Science Theater 3000, starring actors you've never heard of, directed by a man whose greatest achievement is the Audience Award for Best Picture at the Bangkok Film Festival for the Gary Busey-helmed Welcome 2 Ibiza. Therefore, it is impossible for me to review this on the basis of genuine quality. Instead, I shall review it on its merits as a favorite of crap aficionados everywhere. And as such, it is glorious. Almost.

Our story takes place on the Southern Sun, a massive ship that floats around doing nothing since the crew hasn't been arsed to find a planet to settle for generations. This does not sit well with Flight Commander Kalgan (John Phillip Law), who rallies the ship's police force, some space pirates and Chief Engineer MacPhearson (James Ryan) to join him in his mutiny. With the flight deck out of commission thanks to a well-placed explosion, the entire crew is held hostage. Thankfully, the musclebound Dave Ryder (Reb Brown/Slab Bulkhead/Splint Chesthair/Big McLargeHuge/etc.) makes it on board just before Kalgan executes Order 66 or whatever, so it's on.

Of course, amid this dangerous mutiny, the crew makes time to dance with hula hoops at their on-board nightclub, and later drink pink martinis on the bridge; Commander Alex Jansen (Cameron Mitchell) has his mind, and presumably other body parts, expanded by the leader of a race of psychics in leotards (Madyelene Reynel); and Dave bones the commander's daughter, Lea (Cisse Cameron), in a greenhouse. All very dramatic, I assure you.

I mentioned the movie falls just short of gloriously bad; this is because, unlike The Room and Manos: The Hands of Fate, it is extraordinarily difficult to watch on its own. If you watch the MST3K version first - and you most likely will, and should - you'll find yourself echoing Mike and the bots throughout the clean version, if you bother with that at all. A side effect of this is that you will forget that Dave Ryder's name is actually Dave Ryder and refer to him as Crunch Buttsteak or Flint Ironstag for the rest of your life. This is not necessarily a bad thing.

But all the other essential elements of cheese are present. Acting ranging from barely existent to scenery ingestion? Yes. Blatantly cheap production design? Yup. (Battlestar Galactica stock footage and IBM keyboards taped to the wall. You do the math.) Crimes against dialogue? For God's sake, they actually say "astro-dust" and "space bitch." And, of course, the costuming, most of which looks like the result of an overstock sale at Tinfoil and Aqua Net Discount Warehouse. It's the stuff ironic cosplay is made of.

Of course, most movie viewers don't share my sense of irony and will skip Space Mutiny entirely. At least tune in for Lump Beefbroth's scream toward the end. I promise you won't regret it.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=4763&reviewer=432
originally posted: 11/17/14 16:37:37
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User Comments

8/20/02 won_si_kroy_wen I only saw it through MST3K--funniest two hours of my life. Whither Reb Brown? 5 stars
7/17/02 snowconehead MST3K is gone, but its quality of worthiness of lampooning deserves more credit 3 stars
7/14/02 J Great to riff on and spoof, over than that well...nothing. 1 stars
7/11/02 Edfink Lombardo This is an abomination of cinema! Although, it's a great MST3K. 1 stars
7/08/02 Danielle Ophelia A cinematic tragedy and a sci-fi travesty. MST3K had a justifiable field day with it. 1 stars
3/14/01 Rael Actually WORSE than Battlestar Galatica, dead characters appear later; MST3K only. 1 stars
2/23/01 David Coe Worst film ever made - don't miss it !! 1 stars
2/13/01 Drew Aldrich-Boyer Sucked so much, it's funny! 1 stars
1/30/01 Mr. Boj All copies should be burned! The horrible side to the 80s. 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  02-Sep-1988 (PG)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  N/A


Directed by
  David Winters

Written by
  Maria Dante

Cast
  Reb Brown
  John Phillip Law
  Cameron Mitchell
  James Ryan
  Cisse Cameron
  Graham Clark



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