Nope, no, uh, uh; sorry, I don’t subscribe anymore to the 50’s greaser street gang revival/nostalgia shit, not to mention that this film was just simply a barren waste of sets with a ludicrous script, lame-ass performances, and pretentious direction. Hell, this crapola would’ve taken place in today’s times and it would still stink like a hellhole.Plot? Who cares, you’ve heard it all before. Catch this: two rival street gangs (Deuces and Vipers) along with their asshole head honchos (Deuce’s Leon, Stephen Dorff; Viper’s Marco, Norman Reedus) duke it off in 1950’s New York to see who’s the biggest dog in the hood, drugs or not, while Leon’s little brother falls in love with a girl from the Viper side. Ever heard that one before? Well probably ever since the 16th fucking century.
"As cool as grabbing dry ice and sticking it in your face"
Everything that happens in this film is just flat and uninspired basically since it’s got nothing going for it and nothing valuable to give. It’s like a flashy new pan that you open it and there’s nothing but emptiness. There was only one cool scene in the film, which involved throwing a cart full of bricks from the rooftop and watching them smash a car rooftop. But that scene alone can't make up for the film's crappiness. And furthermore, it insults your intelligence when it starts bringing up all this pretentious bullshit like religious imageries, weird-ass slo-mo takes during every fight scene (which makes for annoyance rather than cool), and the big fucker which is trying to pass off Leon like some kind of Christ-like martyr. Hell, the film’s crappiness is to 50’s greaser street films to what Color Me Badd was to 90’s boy bands; they simply missed the whole point, and make you wish to grab the people that did this movie (along with Color Me Badd) and fill their bodies full of bullets and dump them in the nearest desert canyon.
The casting I pretty much compare it to Coppola’s The Outsiders. In the Outsiders you had C. Thomas Howell, Matt Dillon, Ralph Macchio, Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Tom Cruise and Diane Lane. All these people kicked ass. The Deuces Wild cast seems to be more like the rejects from the Outsiders. Who do you got besides Dillon? You have Stephen Dorff, Brad Renfro, Norman Reedus, Frankie Muniz, Balthazar Getty, James Franco, Fariuza Balk, Drea De Matteo and even Blondie’s Deborah Harry (What the fuck?)! All these people are simply drones roaming around the film, especially Dorff and Renfro, whom are as blank as cardboard and concrete, and don’t get me started on what the bloody hell was “Malcolm” doing in this film? The girl department features two of the worst casting selections with Fariuza Balk and Drea De Matteo, what the fuck are these two gals doing here? They’re just completely out of their depth here. And Debbie, just stick to singing, please, don't get involved in this kind of shit anymore.In the end, don’t waste you time in this piece of shit. Go see Grease or The Outsiders or The Warriors instead. You’ll be better off watching those films than suffering headache after headache from watching this putrid excuse for a film. 0-5
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originally posted: 07/15/04 15:36:19