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Overall Rating

Awesome: 11.48%
Worth A Look: 18.03%
Just Average: 5.74%
Pretty Crappy: 18.85%

10 reviews, 62 user ratings

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3,000 Miles to Graceland
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by EricDSnider

"What could it have been, other than really bad?"
2 stars

While the idea of a crew of Elvis impersonators shooting up a casino and stealing $3.2 million is appealing, the movie it happens in, "3000 Miles to Graceland," is such a horrid, directionless mess that it's hard to revel in it.

Ex-cons Michael (Kurt Russell) and Murphy (Kevin Costner) are behind the job, with losers played by Christian Slater, David Arquette and Bokeem Woodbine rounding out the gang. Woodbine's character gets killed during the heist, and ruthless Elvis-worshipper Murphy kills the other three in a double-cross. (I will say that I appreciate any film with enough foresight to kill David Arquette within the first half-hour. Better not to cast him at all, but if you're stuck with him, ditch the loser as soon as you can.)

Anyway, Michael was wearing a bullet-proof vest, so he's not exactly dead. He hurries back to the motel where the money is stashed and takes off before Murphy can find him. In tow is a dead-end small-town gal named Cybil (Courteney Cox) and her kleptomaniac little boy Jesse (David Kaye). They're heading for Idaho, where a money launderer (Jon Lovitz) has pledged to help un-mark the marked bills, and Murphy is on their tail.

Pursuing them all are two federal marshalls, played by Thomas Haden Church and Kevin Pollak. The scenes with these two are funny, leading me to believe they are from another movie altogether.

Director Demian Lichtenstein has learned about "antiheroes" from watching other films, but he has no idea how to actually use them. Michael and Murphy are technically antiheroes, in that they are main characters whose actions are the sort we normally associate with villains. What Lichtenstein apparently doesn't know is that antiheroes are not excused from being likable. When Costner and company shot literally dozens of security guards and innocent bystanders at the casino, I honestly wanted the cops to win. The Elvises kill so many people, and their actions so unjustified, that it's hard for a viewer's sense of justice not to kick in.

The movie presumes we will care about its characters, but does little to warrant such compassion. The longer the film gets, the less sense it makes. Costner would be funny if he weren't so laughable; Russell has charm, but it avails him nothing, as his character is too repulsive. The fact that Michael and Murphy had been prison cellmates is referred to exactly one time. All the other details that might have been nice to know about these people are given even less attention.

But don't worry: There's plenty of time for furious action and bloodletting. It's a miserably dreary disaster of a film.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=4923&reviewer=247
originally posted: 02/23/01 00:26:40
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User Comments

2/13/18 Jack How the heck did this THING get made? It's beyond awful. 1 stars
9/13/17 morris campbell IT SUCKS 1 stars
3/22/16 David H. 3,000 miles to pure rubbish 1 stars
6/21/14 Richard Brandt Has Courtney Cox ever looked hotter? I don't think so! 3 stars
6/04/11 Andrew L I was throughly entertained! gotta love courtneys assets 5 stars
2/26/10 Jeff Wilder Better than its reputation. 4 stars
8/29/08 Shaun Wallner This is the kind of movie you fall asleep too. 1 stars
7/19/08 travis this movie is so underrated, its not great, but its solid entertainment 4 stars
6/19/07 --- Not even worth renting. Turned it off after about 35 minutes....a total mess 1 stars
4/11/06 Seanboy Big, dumb but one of the most surreal things i've witnessed, EricD hit the nail on the head 4 stars
8/29/05 ES good action, good cast, no need to rip on a movie played for fun 4 stars
6/20/05 Indrid Cold It doesn't suffer from bad acting, but just about everything else. 2 stars
6/08/05 Agent Sands Though it can be good, light fun, it's also extremely corny and dumb at times too. 3 stars
2/10/05 Jeff Anderson AN ACTING MILESTONE FOR KEVIN COSTNER, I'M NOT KIDDING! He's one mean & despicable SOB!!!!! 5 stars
2/04/05 tatum Completely formula, but done with style. Costner is fantastic 5 stars
2/02/05 G-Man excellent plot and awesome acting 5 stars
10/17/04 adam shaw (ivan campo) incredible, russell at his sizzling best!! 5 stars
9/13/04 Anarchist_101 This film is 'VERY' underrated... Hey, it's better than a Van Dame flick! 5 stars
6/26/04 Travado de Skol This is the one of the greatest films i have seen, the firt is gladiator and this came afte 5 stars
5/13/04 AngeFaitore Thomas Haden Church was hot, though. 2 stars
5/05/04 J.Peckerfoot Shame bout costner.its not a BAD film,its just not that great either.Watchable tho. 3 stars
1/15/04 Samuel a pretty decent film all in all 3 stars
1/03/04 moviebuff One plus: It's better than Horse Whisperer 1 stars
11/18/03 Jenny gicldod Courtney cox is Mean Petty Dumb 1 stars
6/26/03 cochese It was SUPPOSED to be cheesy. 4 stars
5/04/03 Jenny Tullwartz A Jailhouse Crock that Elvis would consider His Latest Shame if he had to see it. 2 stars
4/23/03 Andrew Carden Who Wrote This Film? A Donkey? Contrived and Mindless. 1 stars
3/22/03 GMan Will someone kill Costner please? Save me from this shit of a movie. 1 stars
3/10/03 Daniel T. Why do YOU write for this site? Looking for logic in the best US trash?Fuck Pulp Fiction! 5 stars
1/19/03 Jim Eh. Violent and shallow. Gets an extra star for tarting up Courteney Cox though. 3 stars
1/09/03 Ange Faitore The movie sucks but Thomas Haden Church looks hotter than ever and his acting is sharp! 2 stars
12/28/02 y2mckay Holy shit! Sommersby and I agree again! GUILTY PLEASURE - though more pleasure than guilt. 4 stars
12/28/02 Jon "Thumb the Toad" Lyrik Wait a second. Sommersby thinks this tripe is better than Memento? BAH! 1 stars
10/26/02 MarktheShark6 "Nobody ever says: 'the King is Down.'" This movie was great, wow... 5 stars
5/17/02 Candace Troy Powers Jenny, Don't Be Cruel, Hard Hearted Woman! Nothin' to get All Shook Up about! 3 stars
5/17/02 Jenny Tullwartz A Jailhouse Crock that Elvis would consider His Latest Shame if he had to see it. 2 stars
3/19/02 Aborted Gently This film was a guilty pleasure for me. It was so hokey and predictable, but fun to watch. 4 stars
10/31/01 jamie ward a must see this is the best movie of the year Kevin Costner 4 life 5 stars
9/28/01 Phoenix Has some elements of a good movie, but ends up being mediocre. 3 stars
8/13/01 SJKelley What movie were you watching? This was a very good film from beginning to end. 5 stars
8/08/01 Monday Morning I hate Kevin Costner's guts. He can't act and is probably a flaming asshole in real life. 1 stars
7/14/01 Rampage Goddam ugly movie... Russell's shoddiest of his career 1 stars
5/24/01 viking I won't waste my money on this crap 1 stars
5/22/01 Archibld Does this thing ever end???? 1 stars
4/25/01 Brian Elvis impersonators + machine guns + trashy women - socially redeeming value = GOOD TIMES! 4 stars
3/25/01 Sid 6.7 A guaranteed, insultingly lobotomized candidate for the 2001 recycling bin of clunkers 1 stars
3/20/01 val WHY ME GOD!?!?! WHY!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
3/08/01 Dave I should have gotten a fiber optic video scope and watched the inside of my butt for 2 hrs 1 stars
3/07/01 Joseph F. Thompson I thought it was a great film 5 stars
3/07/01 Mike If I were to die without going to confession I would gostraight to hell with the producers! 1 stars
3/02/01 greg morfoot awesome film 5 stars
3/01/01 Captain Highcrime Not enough Paul Anka if you ask me. 1 stars
3/01/01 Weasel Could've been good if they changed the actors, script, and director 1 stars
2/27/01 The Evil Penguin I Liked It. Pretty much. 4 stars
2/27/01 AK47 I SAID this movie would suck and TAJ yelled at me! 1 stars
2/26/01 Jeff Unique characters, love Lovitz, and Courteney Cox is worth watching alone 5 stars
2/26/01 The Bomb 69 ??????????????????????????????????????? 1 stars
2/24/01 *~Danielle*Ophelia~* (formerly KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi) 42 muscles to frown, 4 to extend your arm and smack all involved upside the head. 1 stars
2/23/01 Greyhound So it ain't Mission Impossible. Still fun, and Courteney Cox is HOT!! Needed more cast time 4 stars
2/23/01 Kairi Taylor A movie with Costner AND Russell in it....RUN MUTHAFUCKER RUN LIKE A BITCH IN HEAT!!!! 1 stars
2/23/01 Kiss My Grits WHY GOD WHY? 1 stars
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  23-Feb-2001 (R)



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