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Overall Rating
2.97

Awesome: 5.33%
Worth A Look36%
Just Average: 28%
Pretty Crappy: 12%
Sucks: 18.67%

9 reviews, 21 user ratings


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Curse of the Jade Scorpion, The
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by Thom

"Another dated Woody Allen(tm) film."
3 stars

In 1975 it was probably a big deal for a nerdy little guy to make movies where everyone talks about sex. I've never seen the appeal in a Woody Allen film. Maybe it was the cutting edge thing to be into with the swinging set. Whatever he does, he's good at it, I just don't see why anyone should care. Long time fans of Allen films will probably like this, judging from the well-timed chortles from the audience. "That Woody, what a loveable little cad". Whatever. Curse of the Jade Scorpion is another Allen sex comedy that relies on an old old stage trick - hypnotism. I think I saw this in a Popeye cartoon, and a Flintstones cartoon and even a Scooby Doo cartoon.

Helen Hunt stars opposite Allen in a very tired plot. Allen goes digging deep into the archives for this one. Set in the 40's in an insurance office in where else, Manhattan, two people (Hunt and Allen) are hypnotized on stage after swearing that they can't be hypnotized. Of course, they loathe each other and they hypnotist makes them fall madly in love. The audience laughs. It's really stupid. When in their hypnotic trance, they do that monotonous "I ... am ... hypnotiiiiized" zombie thing. Turns out the hypnotist is also a very clever criminal. Allen is an insurance investigator who designs security for all the wealthy New York families. Under hypnosis, he breaks into the homes and steals the jewels. An investigation ensues and Allen proclaims his innocence even as all the evidence points directly at him.

Eventually they figure the whole thing out. There is some showdown in a fireworks factory with the hypnotist and it turns out that Hunt actually does fall in love with Allen and she leaves her fiancé (Dan Akroyd) to marry him. They actually do that "fireworks going off when they kiss" thing. * yawn *

So now that I've ruined the movie for you, you can move on and find something more au courant to watch, like Tim Blake Nelson/ Lions Gate's, O with Josh Hartnett and Martin Sheen. Avoid Allen's rip-off of Shakespeare posing as originality and see Nelson's powerful modern adaptation of Othello.

I don't think there is anything clever or challenging about Woody Allen anymore. Granted, he's got his whole weasely thing down but the character he plays is annoying and the plot is completely unoriginal. It would have been better as a cartoon with celebrity voice-overs, that's how buffoonish and old-fashioned this film is. And I still wouldn't like it.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=5342&reviewer=67
originally posted: 08/19/01 16:05:07
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User Comments

1/07/13 PAUL SHORTT UNINSPIRED COMEDY WITH FLAT ONE-LINERS 1 stars
4/25/05 Indrid Cold Featherweight, marginally funny drama. Doesn't really do anything particularly bad or good 3 stars
4/07/04 john one of Allens less sucessful recent ventures - not that funny 2 stars
6/17/03 Andrew Callaway Dispite what some people might tell you... it's actually pretty good. 4 stars
5/19/03 George Jung One of the best movies of 2001. 5 stars
5/11/03 Jack Bourbon Well, I thought it was funny. 4 stars
4/18/03 Ubu the Ripper Not one of Woody's best, but not bad. 4 stars
1/12/03 Jack Sommersby Tired and unremarkable. Woody needs some fresh ideas, people. 2 stars
6/01/02 Chris The bouncing score keeps the film fun, fresh, and funny. 4 stars
3/27/02 HHfan Helen Hunt is THE BEST ACTRESS ever!!! 5 stars
2/20/02 Xaver I thought it was quite fun. Have some popcorn. Laugh. 4 stars
2/08/02 Regurja Tate Want good anachronistic acting? Go to Helen Hunt for it! 3 stars
9/17/01 Bud A no brainer campy mystery, fun cast, great period decor, Woody is Woody. 3 stars
9/16/01 Bri good film for what it was. Bang the girl next time thou! 4 stars
9/14/01 Albie Great Allen dialoge, Good banter and great one-liners. Enjoyed 4 stars
9/09/01 Nessus Some good barbs. Fun to watch, Dan Aykroyd felt weird though. 4 stars
9/08/01 Heather Essential for Woody fans, full of sharp insults and funny wisecracks 5 stars
8/26/01 spaceworm "Jaded" would be more like it. 2 stars
8/23/01 steve aubin when i watch this movie, i urinate like a hippo 5 stars
8/21/01 The Boy In The Designer Bubble Great Goddess, when did Woody Allen die? Why hasn't anyone told him he's a living corpse? 1 stars
8/20/01 nat good movie e.berkley good casting did agreat job 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  24-Aug-2001 (PG-13)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  28-Mar-2002 (M)


Directed by
  Woody Allen

Written by
  Woody Allen

Cast
  Woody Allen
  Dan Aykroyd
  Elizabeth Berkley
  Helen Hunt
  Charlize Theron
  Wallace Shawn



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