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Overall Rating
2.74

Awesome: 16.92%
Worth A Look: 9.23%
Just Average35.38%
Pretty Crappy: 7.69%
Sucks: 30.77%

5 reviews, 35 user ratings


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Hardball
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by EricDSnider

"I'd like to kick the filmmakers hard, in the balls."
1 stars

Some movies are good enough up to the point that they do something dreadful and manipulative to yank tears from the audience. "Hardball" pulls that kind of stunt, but is at a disadvantage: It was a bad movie already. The shamelessness of its final act knocks it down not from OK to bad, but from bad to unforgiveable.

Keanu Reeves, without emotion as always, is a Chicago ticket-scalper named Conor O'Neill who survives by betting on professional sports and staying one step ahead of the bookies who have baseball bats.

To get him out of a debt, and despite his protestations that "I ain't no good with kids," his businessman friend pays him to coach an inner-city youth baseball team that his company sponsors. These fatherless kids live in terrifying housing projects, and baseball -- which they're not especially good at -- is their only release.

What happens from there could not be more predictable if Miss Cleo herself foretold it. What's odd is that it's told in a sort of movie shorthand (written by John Gatins, working from Daniel Coyle's book). There is no cause and effect. The kids start liking Conor, but not because of anything he does. They improve at baseball, but no reason is given for that. Conor becomes less selfish, but there's no indication it stems from his interaction with the boys. The movie knows it has to arrive at these points -- selflessness, better team morale, friendship -- but it has no clue what roads to take. So it just leaps ahead to them, like a truly horrible rough draft of a mediocre student-written movie script.

There is a romance, too, that is the very definition of obligatory. ("Movies always have a romance, right? Well, we'd better put one in, too!") It's between Conor and Elizabeth (Diane Lane), who is the boys' schoolteacher. No more need be said of this, ever.

So there is not an ounce of originality so far. The kids are rather funny, insofar as urban youths who swear a lot are funny, and some border on sweetness. But Keanu's woodenness makes him completely uninteresting as a character, and everything going on is humorless, treacly and absolutely uncompelling.

And then it happens. Director Brian Robbins ("Varsity Blues"), realizes there's one movie cliche he hasn't tapped yet: the tear-jerker scene. (If you're worried about spoilers, skip now to the concluding paragraph.) The writers, fortunately, gave him one -- again, in shorthand.

"We need to make the audience cry somehow." "But how?" "Aw, let's just kill a kid. Lunch, anyone?"

It is cheap and exploitative and unfair and vicious. It shamlessly uses the life of probably the most likable character in the movie as a bargaining chip for our emotions. It is the equivalent of bringing home an adorable new puppy just so you can watch the horror in our faces when you subsequently throw it into the trash compactor.

It isn't that a child should never die in a movie. It's that if you're going to do it, you'd better make darn sure you do it right. Do it for the right reasons (hint: not for easy emotional drama), do it tastefully, and do it with class. "Hardball" does it wrong, wrong, wrong, and its desperate motives are painfully clear.

But as I said, it wasn't a good movie anyway. Prior to the finale, the grade I'd been formulating was somewhere in the C- or D+ range. By the end, as I fled the theater with ill wishes for everyone involved, including the projectionist and the guy who sold popcorn, I had become considerably less charitable.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=5523&reviewer=247
originally posted: 09/10/01 00:23:20
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User Comments

8/25/13 DB Rent "The Matrix" or "Point Break" 2 stars
4/02/13 Jerome Erik Childress - its called HIP HOP!!! it's the PROJECTS. aint nobody singin hey hey shit 3 stars
11/28/08 PAUL SHORTT SHALLOW, INCOMPETENT AND HOPELESSLY CONTRIVED 1 stars
8/21/07 Quigley Keanu Reeves actually did a great job. Stories like this are really inspiring. 5 stars
3/19/07 David Cohen The most important thing for this film is not showing up 1 stars
2/18/07 Nick Maday Blah. Plus Keanu Reeves is pretty annoying. 3 stars
7/15/06 Cara Your reviewer obviously hasn't seen real life for these kids-the movie hit the mark 4 stars
11/18/04 Dominic Farrow It was an fantastic movie it should be a part 2 5 stars
8/22/04 Michelle i loved it but i love any Keanu Reeves movies 4 stars
1/10/04 kaz heartfelt movie..great performance from Reeves 4 stars
7/06/03 Terrance Rogers It was funny the rest of that day my son kept saying "I'm G-baby" 5 stars
4/05/03 ksdm sdasd funny 5 stars
3/21/03 Jack Sommersby Cliched, uninspired material undermines charming perfs from Reeves and Lane. 2 stars
3/11/03 Blabity blah I've seen better film on teeth. 1 stars
5/09/02 J Keanu wasn't great (to put it mildly), but the kids sure were. An underrated movie. 4 stars
4/23/02 Film Guy ok it really wasnt that bad. Or that good 3 stars
4/15/02 Katie Murphy Awesome 5 stars
3/28/02 Alexis Rivera I love the movie and Kofy Evens/mike perkins 5 stars
3/11/02 Veronica Foxx -The Raven-Haired Temptress There's no crying in baseball, but there was plenty when I saw this. Disgusting slop. 1 stars
10/23/01 Crystal Mitchell A great movie, for all you who have seen and thinks it sucks, you don't shit about kids! 5 stars
10/23/01 spaceworm Better movies can be seen by you without trying too hard. 2 stars
10/19/01 The Alter Ego Manipulative, formulaic piece of moose shit. Keanu sucks big, hairy ass. 1 stars
10/11/01 Leroy pg 13??? howd they pull this off! 3 stars
10/05/01 Person Emotional effect overplayed, Good child talent. 2 stars
10/02/01 Kirk Who cares what the movie is about! It's Keanu! :-) 5 stars
10/01/01 RK Keauna 2 stars
9/30/01 Studmaster Watch out, it is a sad movie. 4 stars
9/20/01 Naneki Dauer Fabulous movie!! Keanu was outstanding ( as always) as were the kids. 5 stars
9/19/01 Jody Keanu & kids were great, script could be better, a movie for entertainment not awards 4 stars
9/18/01 olgi wolgie oh my gosh it is sooo awsome, keanu, baby g, i want to take the two of them home 5 stars
9/18/01 angel renninger i thought that was the worst movie i have ever seen even orse then "remember the titans".ve 1 stars
9/17/01 Ashley i loved it 5 stars
9/16/01 spaceworm Okay, I shed a tear, but I had a lot saved up fron the week... 3 stars
9/12/01 ron20003 A manipulative, Pre-Fabricated heap of smelly hokum. AVOID IT!! 1 stars
9/10/01 Sherman Reeves should sit silently in a closet until Matrix2 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  14-Sep-2001 (PG-13)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  13-Jun-2002


Directed by
  Matthew Robbins

Written by
  John Gatins

Cast
  Keanu Reeves
  Diane Lane
  D.B. Sweeney
  Michael Jordan
  Trevor Morgan
  John Hawkes



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