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Overall Rating

Awesome: 12.5%
Worth A Look: 3.13%
Just Average: 0%
Pretty Crappy: 25%

3 reviews, 14 user ratings

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Celtic Pride
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by Slyder

"Someone Give Me An Aspirin"
1 stars

Why oh why was this made? Why would these three "talented" actors get involved with a half-assed project like this?

Unfunny, repulsive, stupid, idiotic and ridiculous are the few words that can describe this abominable train wreck of a film. The story of two fuckheads Mike (Daniel Stern) and Jimmy (Dan Aykroyd) whom are die-hard Boston Celtics fans, who kidnap the star player of the Utah Jazz, Lewis Scott (Damon Wayans) so that their beloved Celtics can beat the Jazz for the NBA championship, hence the title. Yeah, that’s such an Oscar-worthy idea, can’t say the same about the rest.

No, it’s a STUPID, STUPID idea, and the way that they realize this idea is even STUPIDER. The entire film did not get a SINGLE laugh out of me; instead it just gave me signs of annoyance and mild brain damage. The kidnapping scene is just awful, and it gets even worse when you see how stupid these three actors behave themselves in their roles, and they behave like complete idiots. Ooh, Scott is playing mind games with both Mike and Jimmy, calling them racists, faggots, and whatever shit he can come up with. Like racism and gay bashing have ANYTHING to do with what’s going on here (and still no laughs). Then comes the subplot with Mike’s family that’s filing for divorce because Mike is a crazed idiot sports fan, and…? Great, a subplot just added for the hell of it. Then the landlord comes and in the middle of it all, Scott escapes in the most ridiculous of ways. Supposedly we have to laugh at this scene, but we don’t, because it’s such a STUPID scene, it just makes you go like “what the hell?” How the rest of the loyal Boston folks, which all are Celtic fans, screw over a desperate Scott because hey, he’s Lewis Scott, the Utah Jazz player, just makes you cringe, and Scott goes: I wish my fans were this loyal, or some shit like that. God, why? The same when Scott has it all to escape when our “heroes” park their truck in the gas station. Instead of running he brings out a toilet, and soon sprays Mike with gasoline, and then the lighter that he has doesn’t work. And why did he bring out the toilet out? Then he later challenges Jimmy and Mike to a basketball match, in which he again ridiculously escapes, and then he forces them both to root for the Jazz AND for him because if they don’t, they’ll go to jail… BUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Oh man, why did I just laugh? I laughed because the film contradicts itself so pathetically. I laugh because this film is such a retarded piece of shit. I’m laughing because it’s supposedly a basketball satire and is nothing more than a fucking despicable pile of dung that what only manages to do is show the incompetence and the stupidity of EVERYONE involved in it. I’m not laughing about the humor since the humor is always forced. There’s not a single scene that’s funny, much worse when we see these two idiots with their Jazz uniforms, now rooting forcibly for the Jazz in the middle of a Celtic crowd, it just makes you want to shoot yourself. The script is such lousiness, since there’s no character development, forced jokes, bad acting, and forgotten subplots. And furthermore, why was that Croatian Jazz player getting such camera time, and saying the same one liner over and over and over: “I always have the good stuff?”

In the end, this movie is such as sack of shit, and what bothers me the most is how did the movie execs ever approved this junk for release and furthermore badging it under the name of comedy? I can think of better comedies to waste your time on instead of wasting your time, your patience and your brain cells in this crapwagon. Hell even those NASCAR commercials are even funnier than this shit. Seriously, if you’re thinking you can get some laughs out of this movie just because Stern, Aykroyd and Wayans are in it, FORGET IT! Avoid.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=569&reviewer=235
originally posted: 06/21/02 23:13:06
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User Comments

6/07/05 me makes me regret i'm a celtic fan...oh wait, I have 16 championship. Fuck ya'll 1 stars
5/28/05 Katrina Sparkes This film is beyond bad, I mean why is stuff like this ever made? 1 stars
2/22/05 lol the best movie ever made. 5 stars
2/05/05 Jeff Anderson PITIFUL! Makes Boston & it's hard working Irish people(including myself)look like lunatics! 1 stars
3/26/04 ROY L. CAIN,JR. So-so sports film, unless you enjoy Dan Ackroyd act like a bitch! 1 stars
12/17/03 Made In America 122 Awsome movie u idiots! GO CELTICS 5 stars
9/21/03 coolcat great movie i loved as fan of basketball but also dan aykroyd 5 stars
2/10/03 chris johnson This is movie is great "I've been with 2 women my whole life....That's two more than Jimmy 5 stars
1/27/02 Andrew Carden Has A Few Good Jokes, A Few Good Cameos, but That's About It. 2 stars
6/02/00 Steve Layne If your a fan f basketball how could you not like this movie? 4 stars
10/24/98 Lord Of The Dunce Right on. This movie was a disgrace. What was supposed to be funny exactly? 1 stars
8/30/98 Mister Whoopee Shitful. Aykroyd chooses so many bad scripts. 1 stars
8/27/98 Chuck-D Bad, some funny moments, but pretty bad... 2 stars
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  19-Apr-1996 (PG-13)



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