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Overall Rating

Awesome: 8.93%
Worth A Look: 12.5%
Just Average: 21.43%
Pretty Crappy51.79%
Sucks: 5.36%

3 reviews, 38 user ratings

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by Slyder

"Will Erase Your Happiness"
2 stars

I remember when this film came out, it was supposed to be this big-ass return for Arnold Schwarzennegger, AKA Ah-nuld. Even friends of mine told me it was 100% fucking awesome, but we were like 15 years old for Christ Sake, we didn’t know the difference between a fantastic movie and a fantasia movie. So that’s the reason why I always thought that this film kicked ass, until the day I saw it. Well, at first, I said, “Ooh, awesome,” but after that, it was a different story: “oooh, not that awesome.”

Ok, so Ah-nuld is supposedly a US Marshall working in the Witness Protection Program, as the intro describes it. So one day, they assign him to protect a hottie, Lee Cullen (Vanessa Williams), who thanks to a bunch of FBI assholes, she’s now in danger since she was used to take out some vital info out of the company she works, a contract weapons manufacturer for the US government. The info: an electromagnetic gun, which supposedly doesn’t exist, and is being sold as contraband for terrorists, and high Government officials are even involved. So Ah-nuld takes on the task, never knowing that his friend Robert Deguerin (James Caan) is also on the other side of the game.

Ok, this film had its fun moments. The action sequences were great, slick and cool. The moments that the EM gun is shown are the best parts of the movie. The FX were great in that aspect of the movie, and it was thrilling on how the fucking gun blew shit off with style. The skydiving scene was also great. But the story was rather cartoonish and sometimes dumb. During the final moments of the film, the scene where Ah-nuld is on the roof of that weapons building, we never know how in the hell he gets out of there. Ah-nuld escaping the Zoo, how he did it? Ahnuld fighting the bad guys that destroyed that warehouse and nearly him, Ahnuld framing it in record time faster than Michael Johnson could do it. Such action scenes were filled with plotholes that in the end made you laugh at the stupidity of the scenes than be in awe.

The rest of the FX in the movie unfortunately weren’t what was expected, it was dumber than anything else. Most of the FX, except the ones relating to the rail gun was totally dumb and fake at many times. The warehouse scene, some of the fire was fake. It was a total laugh. The part where the plane turns around was also dumb, from the way the camera angle showed us, it was totally and ridiculously impossible for an airplane to do a U-Turn that sharp, especially with one fucked-up engine. It looked also more like a videogame than a real-life airplane. The crocodiles also looked ridiculously fake, you could easily tell they were computer generated, another groaner there, but still they ended up being luggage. The film ruined its many chances of greatness due to silly plotholes and crap FX, and that’s what screwed it for me.

The performances were all right, Ah-nuld being his usual self, though he looks older now, well of course, he’s even older than my dad. Vanessa Williams was all right for her role. James Caan though, he impressed in most of the movie, I think he basically stole every scene he was in. The rest of the cast were as usual, up to standards.

In the end, if you like popcorn-type action, and thrills, I guess this movie is for you. But for the average movie buff, well, I’ll either say you skip it or see at your own risk, because it’s not a very good movie due to lots of stupid shit. It was mostly disappointing, almost totally.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=597&reviewer=235
originally posted: 10/19/01 04:09:24
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User Comments

12/28/17 morris campbell decent arnold flick has a few good action scenes 3 stars
9/13/09 Jeff Wilder Not too bad. Better than End of Days or Collateral Damage, 3 stars
8/08/09 Lee Smallwood It's much better than the dumb reviewers referring to TOM ARNOLD who was NOT in the movie!! 4 stars
7/05/08 dan halberg depressingly dull 2 stars
1/17/07 David Pollastrini saw it but have no memory so it must have sucked 3 stars
9/30/06 Nicole The part with the parachute was seriously lame! 3 stars
8/30/06 Sepi53 Best Arnold action pack with lovely Vanessa 4 stars
10/26/05 chris another great arnie movie 5 stars
5/26/05 tony plot made no sense, some scenes full of action and confusion.Need a lot of work. 2 stars
5/14/05 Indrid Cold For a big budget spectacle, it's pretty lame. 3 stars
2/10/05 Jeff Anderson An action film with a cool & funky edge that delivers on it's premise. THOSE GUNS ROCK!!!!! 5 stars
10/23/04 ODH A solid action flick, nothing spectacular but not bad. 3 stars
4/11/04 john bale Bugeyed Arnie saves the world (again) some good stunts, fun with a parachute, little acting 3 stars
11/29/03 john nobody needs to see this bercause you already have seen it done better 100 times 2 stars
10/08/03 Buck Great loud, violent fun with Arnold. 5 stars
9/26/03 Alice very stupid 2 stars
9/14/03 Boris Smtih typical arnold adventure 3 stars
3/23/03 Jack Sommersby A crowd-pleasing Schwarzeneggar star vehicle. 4 stars
5/26/02 I'm in (L) with a Jedi Congratulations, u've been erased 2 stars
2/20/02 Xaver I enjoyed the action and loved the alligators. 4 stars
11/14/01 Zizzerzazzerzuzz What happened to Arnold? He used to be good at the "brainless-but-fun" action movie. 2 stars
10/01/01 Andrew Carden Well Done Movie, Good Amount Of Action. 4 stars
8/07/01 Mr. Hat Looks like one of the most decent action movies; it isn't, but it's definitely bearable. 3 stars
6/26/01 Bront not one of his finest, good for a piss take 2 stars
11/18/00 FLORIDA VOTER Are you people whacked? This was a very fun movie, one of his best! 5 stars
11/13/00 The EVIL Penguin ERASE this movie 2 stars
10/08/00 Arron Cotrel It was a retarded movie, yet, i liked the ceasar part, that was sweet 1 stars
9/16/00 JB As far as big Hollywood Widescreen this is great!!!!! 4 stars
4/08/00 Bruce Not Arnold's finest hour, but it had it's moments 4 stars
11/25/98 Fred "You're luggage". Is that the best they could do? Is Arnold one rank moronic fucko. 1 stars
10/26/98 Silent Rob Bang Bang, Boom Boom, It's Arnie-time! 3 stars
9/28/98 Johny ultimately forgetable 2 stars
9/21/98 MR HOLLYWOOD Tom SUX,Arnold 50/50 & Vanessa Ugh.but action/pace is good. 3 stars
8/29/98 Matt What was wrong with normal guns, huh arnold? 1 stars
8/28/98 Mister Whoopee Ugh. They read the formula and followed it to the nth degree. 2 stars
8/24/98 The Capital City Goofball Tom Arnold. Say no more. 2 stars
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  21-Jun-1996 (R)



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