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Overall Rating
1.37

Awesome: 2.94%
Worth A Look: 2.94%
Just Average: 2.94%
Pretty Crappy: 10.78%
Sucks80.39%

2 reviews, 90 user ratings


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Master of Disguise, The
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by EricDSnider

"Not gonna see this movie ever again. Nata gaah daat.."
1 stars

It makes sense that Dana Carvey should have a star vehicle in which he does nothing but make silly faces and use goofy voices. After all, he is one of the hottest comic talents of the day!

This is 1991, right?

What, it's not? Dana Carvey has been a has-been for nearly a decade already? Then why in the name of all things holy is he starring in a movie that is clearly, obviously, patently nothing more than an excuse for him to do his shtick? That's what current stars do, not old guys trying to stage a comeback. I'm really confused now.

"The Master of Disguise" is about an Italian buffoon named Pistachio Disguisey (Carvey). So there's two reasons already why you shouldn't bother with this film: One, Dana Carvey is playing an Italian, which is probably the one ethnicity in all the world at which he is unconvincing. And two, the guy's name is Pistachio Disguisey.

Pistachio is a nerdy waiter at his father's restaurant until mom and dad get kidnapped by a bad guy (Brent Spiner) who wants to use Pistachio's dad's natural mimicking abilities to steal the world's treasures. See, the Disguisey genes give one the natural ability to mimic, mock and impersonate people. Fortunately, most of the people Pistachio encounters have broad, easy-to-mimic voices; you could probably do a fair impression of most of these people, and you're not even a Disguisey.

Anyway, with his parents missing, Pistachio is taught by his grandfather (Harold Gould) the secret of his Disguisey abilities. He hires a lovely assistant named Jennifer, who is played by Jennifer Esposito, who looks like Jennifer Aniston. The two of them, aided occasionally by grandpa, go in search of the parents, donning disguises and fake voices at every turn.

One of the principal jokes is that every time the bad guy laughs maniacal, it causes him to pass gas. Is there anything funnier than a man passing gas? Apparently not, at least as far as this movie is concerned.

Another principal joke is that Pistachio keeps getting slapped in the face. Honestly, it happens at least a dozen times in the course of the film.

Pistachio is not a character, but a one-dimensional collection of quirks and oddities. How, then, could you think to base an entire film around him? Is anyone NOT getting tired of movies that are nothing more than extended "Saturday Night Live" skits? Rarely has such a talented comedian been so wildly out of touch with what's funny. "The Master of Disguise" is an embarrassing, amateurish disaster.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=6017&reviewer=247
originally posted: 08/02/02 14:45:19
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User Comments

4/26/16 Ken Dana Carvey's so stupid. Why did he make this tripe? 1 stars
7/29/14 D. The R. Need a new rating for this one: WWC, Watch While Comatose. Seriously, OK for toddlers. 2 stars
2/20/14 Justin R. Don't see this film at all! 1 stars
11/25/11 Dana Carvey must die... well, retire at least. Horrendous. Makes you feel dumber by seeing it. 1 stars
11/16/11 Dr.Lao Pretty much killed the movie careers of Carvey and Spiner, and its not hard ot see why 1 stars
1/15/09 Shaun Wallner Very Boring! 1 stars
10/17/07 Beau It was just a boring movie 2 stars
5/07/06 chienne Way up there with Eyes Wide Shut - f***ing tripe!!! 1 stars
10/10/05 Mike Bu I couldn't disagree more. I thought it was lighthearted and sincerely side-splitting. 4 stars
9/18/05 Nick Carvey has wasted 1.5 hours of my life, I can never get that time back. 1 stars
9/09/05 JJ So so very bad 1 stars
5/19/05 susan varney they couldn't disguise this terrible movie 1 stars
5/17/05 Cindy Lovell I can't believe they wasted film on this 1 stars
5/11/05 doug Disgusting 1 stars
4/23/05 H Lin terrible 1 stars
4/21/05 Pippin007 Its dumb! The story is poorly done. 2 stars
4/21/05 Colleen Goldrick Not that great 2 stars
4/17/05 Rhianna Correa Kids loved this movie 3 stars
3/28/05 craig varney dana carvey couldn't disguise this crapola it stinks 1 stars
3/23/05 Colleen Goldrick too silly 2 stars
3/11/05 Jeff Anderson Hopelessly inane & embarrassing! Spiner's flatulent character is a JOKE, what was the point 1 stars
3/10/05 Steph its okay... 4 stars
2/22/05 Colleen Goldrick Pathetic 1 stars
2/05/05 Susan Chamberlain I thought it was stupid. 1 stars
1/18/05 Keaton the Black Jackal What? Whaddya mean the rating system can only go down to one star? An utterly dreadful film 1 stars
1/04/05 Joe England Well, I thought the farting was the best gag... which doesn't say much for the rest of it. 2 stars
1/02/05 croweater888 this made $40,322,713 at the boxoffice...can you believe it?? 1 stars
10/18/04 Hadassah I loved it. Dana Carvey is so cute! 5 stars
8/15/04 Dallas Moye Gag 1 stars
8/06/04 Worst movie ever Toxic. Harmful to children and adults 1 stars
7/18/04 Karla Knechtel I think it is hilarious in a really cheesy kind of way. 3 stars
6/22/04 Taylor Fladgate Horrible. Just...horrible. and sad. 1 stars
6/13/04 Spiderfan50 Wow. It was so random! I loved it as a no-brainer comedy!!! 5 stars
5/30/04 Troy Kuprash Horrible, Just Horrible 1 stars
5/05/04 Ajax The worst movie of all time. And not even funny in that Ed Wood way. 1 stars
4/06/04 cinkcool unwatchable 1 stars
4/05/04 Ken Stryker wow i saw all the funny stuff on the commercial, wouldnt buy for a nickel movie 1 stars
1/16/04 Ubu the Ripper This should make the Guinness Book for the worst movie ever made. Sucks all ass. 1 stars
1/14/04 J Movies was funny, but it was poorly made. Poor Dana 3 stars
1/13/04 MelissaNYC Maybe Carvey shouldn't have fixed his heart in the first place. 1 stars
12/18/03 bad shit 1 stars
12/11/03 Joey Cole I want to suck my daddy's dick off while watching this!! 1 stars
12/05/03 Mr. Hat (previously Joe Zappa) OK. SNL people have good ideas. Now, how about some halfway decent filmmaking for once???!! 2 stars
10/31/03 culprit64 Can I give it a negative star rating? Seriously it fucking sucked big floppy donkey dick! 1 stars
10/20/03 shawn down with dana 1 stars
10/07/03 Gary funny as hell 5 stars
10/02/03 Samuel Justus what was with the farting, wait..nevermind what the fuck is with this movie?!? 1 stars
9/16/03 doug good god jesus 1 stars
8/16/03 Mr adventure any movie with big butts like that is fine by me! bring the sequel, more butts@! 1 stars
8/04/03 Curious George omg so bad 1 stars
7/12/03 Ghetto Smurf A thought-provoking,suspense thriller,with a surprise twist at the end.Whoops, wrong movie. 1 stars
7/11/03 WWE HHH-HATE CLUB AFTERITENDEDWALKEDOUTFASTHIDMYFACEUNDERJACKETANDSOONASCOSTWASCLEARRANSCREAMINGLIKEMADMAN... 1 stars
7/06/03 Brian It had some good moments, his career isnt over. 2 stars
7/04/03 Pete Oh my eyes are burning. My little sisters eyes are burning. yeaaaarrrgggggggggggggggggggggg 1 stars
6/26/03 cochese I weep for mankind, this movie made money. 1 stars
6/23/03 Jon Lyrik The most sloppy and amateurish comedy since Kung Pow! Enter the Fist. 1 stars
4/21/03 scream bad 1 stars
3/19/03 beyatch hastingscj@mac.com 1 stars
2/25/03 Croweater hilarious! brilliant! superbly acted! wonderfully scripted! A landmark movie!......NOT! 1 stars
2/18/03 Dana Carvey must DIE!!! Very violent things should be done to people who liked this movie 1 stars
2/17/03 taj We can no longer blame Hollywood; this shitpile cut a tidy profit. 1 stars
2/13/03 Andrew Carden Amusing Characters, Horrid Film. 2 stars
2/10/03 Ubu the Ripper I was embarrassed for Dana Carvey. His career is at its nadir. 1 stars
2/09/03 Chiendog Dogshit! Carvey has truly become a "Master of Disgust." 1 stars
2/02/03 The Aussie Film Reviewer Proof that no matter how bad it is, there'll always be $38m worth of idiots prepared to go. 1 stars
1/18/03 Pete The last seal has been breached. ay god save us all 1 stars
1/18/03 Lester Jones bad, bad movie 1 stars
12/15/02 Motherfucker If I ever see you on the street Dana Carvey I'll bash your fucking head in 1 stars
12/04/02 Stephanie Throckmorton Watchable comedy. But as Yogi Berra would say, 90% of it is half silly. 4 stars
11/20/02 Goofy Maxwell Carvey's got a turtle head pokin' out of his neck. 2 stars
10/29/02 Buddha This mess made $39m at the box office. That's a few mill more than K-19. Shame, USA! 1 stars
10/10/02 SiliconHero "Pistachio Disguisey"? I think I see pigs flying... 1 stars
9/14/02 eli anyone else notice that carvey's accent is stronger than his father and grandfather? 1 stars
8/29/02 Buddha I downloaded it for free, and still couldn't make it through. Totally without a laugh. 1 stars
8/19/02 Dana Carvey is a humourless cunt Fuck this movie! Worst picture in the history of mankind! Kill whoever did this shit! 1 stars
8/18/02 Shaun no need for a movie this bad 1 stars
8/15/02 Ian Franzen WOW, just WOW. 1 stars
8/13/02 K-ronik Dire stuff. Not even a film. It's like they gave up on it and released it anyway. 1 stars
8/12/02 snowconehead say it ain't so, garth? 2 stars
8/11/02 Priscilla Mack This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen 1 stars
8/10/02 The Chronic Mastubator God damn!! This was almost as bad as Country Bears... and that's pretty bad. 1 stars
8/09/02 J. Dana... Why have you subjected us to this crap?! You are desparate. Be gone! 1 stars
8/06/02 STEVE SAW FOR FREE.RAN OUT HALFWAY THROUGH THE FILM SCREAMINGIN MENTAL AGONY FROM THIS RUBBISH. 1 stars
8/06/02 Kooze Oh my God. 1 stars
8/05/02 Chase Utter, total crap. "Master of Disguise" masters the art of sucking. 1 stars
8/05/02 Sarah Smith? Hollywood shill? Honestly, the movie studios should shoot their 80-IQ PR people. 1 stars
8/04/02 bob Worst movie I've ever sat through in a theatre 1 stars
8/03/02 Leopold Bloom Yep, yep, it blows. 1 stars
8/03/02 Joe Deblow "Pistachio Disguisey" - nuff said 1 stars
8/02/02 Peter Smith this is a piece of shit 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  02-Aug-2002 (PG)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  01-Jan-2003




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