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Overall Rating
2.19

Awesome: 5.17%
Worth A Look: 3.45%
Just Average: 15.52%
Pretty Crappy56.9%
Sucks: 18.97%

4 reviews, 34 user ratings


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Tuxedo, The
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by EricDSnider

"Several movies at once, all of them bad."
2 stars

Jackie Chan is egregiously misused in "The Tuxedo," a confused film that aspires to be a superhero flick, screwball comedy and martial arts movie all at once.

Chan's charms are in his remarkable fighting skills, of course, not in his acting or elocution. Therefore, any film misguided enough to minimize his fighting scenes and maximize his talking scenes deserves the fate "The Tuxedo" will probably receive: quick dismissal to the dollar theaters and eventual purgation from our collective consciousness.

Chan plays Jimmy Tong, a hapless cab driver in an unnamed New York sort of city who becomes personal driver to the super-suave Clark Devlin (Jason Isaacs). When Devlin is nearly killed by assassins, it befalls Jimmy to don Devlin's magic tuxedo and avenge him, in conjunction with the secret government agency that Devlin apparently worked for.

Jimmy and his hand-me-down special monkey suit are partnered with Del Blaine, a brand-new agent so stupid she actually believes Jimmy Tong is Clark Devlin. She is played by Jennifer Love Hewitt, who demonstrates no ability for physical comedy or general wackiness, much less any chemistry with Chan. She is one of the worst things about this very bad movie.

The James Bondian villain is Diedrich Banning (Ritchie Coster), a bottled-water magnate who seeks -- what else? -- to rule the world. Coster's quirky performance is good for a couple laughs.

The exuberance of Chan's action films comes from knowing it's really him on the screen, doing all his own stunts and really, actually fighting as acrobatically and energetically as he appears to be. Here, the effect is ruined. What little fighting he does is enhanced by that damn tuxedo, which makes his abilities superhuman. The scenes thus become a marvel of special effects, not of Jackie Chan's physical prowess. In short, it's boring.

One of the marks of a bad movie is when, even within the film's fictional world, things still don't make sense. "The Tuxedo," from first-time director Kevin Donovan, has that in spades. Even accepting that thugs have sneaked up on Jimmy and tied a rope around his neck, how does Del not realize he's being attacked when she turns around and sees him thrashing about? Even accepting that Jimmy has accidentally knocked James Brown unconscious, why would it occur to him to then attempt to perform in his place?

The plot progresses as a series of a ill-conceived jokes strung together with no regard for coherence or the audience's intelligence. Dress it up as nicely as you want, a bad movie is a bad movie.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=6153&reviewer=247
originally posted: 09/27/02 22:36:50
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User Comments

3/20/10 the dork knight Someone explain to me how Chan and Hewitt are a believable couple. 2 stars
3/17/09 Josie Cotton is a goddess There should be a limit to the amount of tit-jokes that you can put into a movie 2 stars
2/01/09 CTT A half way entertaining mess 3 stars
5/27/08 PAUL SHORTT THIS ILL FITTING TUXEDO IS STRICTLY OFF-THE-RACK 1 stars
2/10/08 Pamela White not Jackie's best 2 stars
2/21/07 johnnyfog There are better movies with Hewitt's tits, you fucktards. Horrible movie! 1 stars
1/25/06 LP Quagmire Best action movie of the year! Hewitt and Chan make an adorable screen couple! 5 stars
10/20/05 Cheryl Mayfield Pretty crappy,but hearin JenniferLoveHewitt say she's a little bit constipated was worth it 2 stars
8/12/05 ES I was on set while they filmed the party scene, a good night, not a good movie 2 stars
7/27/05 Quigley a waste of time. one oft he worst films made yet. chan is now destoying his career. sick! 1 stars
1/23/05 keithers.. Chans golden days are looong gone 2 stars
3/24/04 Whatevr I'm still gagging on this movie 1 stars
2/28/04 Norman L.O. Saw this in theaters, fuck me it was bad! 1 stars
12/09/03 Jiz Started OK, until JLH opened her mouth, then the plot went to shit and so did the movie. 2 stars
6/22/03 John Aster Habig unless its Indiana Jones it ain't a good action flick if you MUST see Chan see Rush Hour 1 stars
4/14/03 Sébastien Langlois I have much like this movie and Jennifer Love-Hewit is my best actres, I the much like... 5 stars
3/05/03 bob leather jacket Good fight scenes, Jennifer Love Hewitt was pleasant to watch 4 stars
2/04/03 Goofy Maxwell a.k.a. Snoop Doug E. Doug She's my bizzle fo shizzle & he's the rizzle dizzle but he ain't no nizzle. Pizzle. }> 3 stars
1/01/03 Cheryl Mayfield Pretty crappy, but hearing Jennifer Love Hewitt say she's a little constipated was worth it 2 stars
12/31/02 Jenna Furr Hero babysits an Ashley Judd clone; villain gives a mermaid an enema. 2 stars
12/29/02 zephyrrider It was absolutely a great laugh. I enjoyed it so much I'm going to watch it again 4 stars
12/28/02 aiken drum I like Jackie Chan, but this movie sucked ass 1 stars
11/23/02 Joe Zappa Sophomoric, dumb, with scattered laughs...and HOT Jennifer Love Hewitt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 stars
10/15/02 Angry Black Man JLH is the worst actress since J-LO. A big doo doo fest! 1 stars
10/13/02 Busby Berkeley and Fred Astaire Either the camera dances or Jackie does. Both at the same time, no can do. 2 stars
10/05/02 jessica A GREAT FILM 5 stars
10/01/02 Roy Smith Chan IS a special effect, nothing else was needed. JLH wore too much clothing. Sad. 2 stars
9/30/02 Shizzlenit JLH should be pussy-smacked...by my balls! This movie blows. JLH is one fine whore, though 1 stars
9/30/02 Jake what a disgrace! 1 stars
9/28/02 MyztiQ good for a laugh 3 stars
9/28/02 Uncle Salty Who told JLH she should do movies wearing clothes? Matrix-Fu wanna be. 1 stars
9/28/02 Rey LaRaza I agree. Jackie Chan's natural talents are wasted in CGI and rope tricks, it's heresy. 2 stars
9/27/02 Chancey Sugarpants Chan sucks least but he's not that good b/c he's out of his element. JLH should be slapped 2 stars
9/27/02 syrius Jackie Chan shouldn'tve done this after what happened to "The One", and this was even worst 2 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  27-Sep-2002 (PG-13)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  26-Dec-2002




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