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Overall Rating

Awesome: 6.9%
Worth A Look: 0%
Just Average: 13.79%
Pretty Crappy: 10.34%

2 reviews, 17 user ratings

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Foreigner, The (2003)
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by Slyder

"Finally a direct-to-video Seagal movie, and guess what? It stinks"
1 stars

Anyone that knows me knows that Steven Seagal for me has been a guilty pleasure. I mean I dug Above the Law, Under Siege and Executive Decision and I have a soft spot for Marked for Death, Out for Justice and Exit Wounds, and then I absolutely hate Hard to Kill, Under Siege 2, On Deadly Ground and Fire Down Below and Half Past Dead. Still, despite the 3-worded-title clichés and latest output of bullshit movies, I somehow found myself watching a Seagal movie. That streak finally ended when I finally saw the stupidest and most nonsensical movie he’s ever made. Voila.

I won’t even try to explain the plot, because there’s just so much shit going on you don’t even know what the hell is it that’s happening. From the little I could understand from this piece of junk I think it revolves around a box containing a Flight Data recorder that contains the recordings of a bomb in a plane, and everyone wants Seagal dead because of it.

But then we get immersed in all of these ridiculous subplots involving shootouts, explosions, government cover-ups or whatever that it all manages to come out like an badly executed X-Files episode minus the aliens, with Seagal one way or another slipping away and blowing to hell or kicking the shit out of the bad guys that want him and some other chick dead. And don’t even start with me on the ending since it was like something nonsensical happened, and all of a sudden, boom, the end credits roll, leaving me baffled and with the need of killing whomever approved this piece of garbage, and probably killing Seagal as well for –to quote Al Pacino– wasting my motherfucking time!

The acting is atrocious and the direction is non-existent and hokey, the screenplay is more nonsensical than your average rubrics cube and you’ll end up just having a massive headache trying to figure it out. A word of advice: Don't. And another word of advice: avoid this fucking film.

After this rotten pile of garbage ended, I realize that I finally had enough of Steven Seagal, the guy has finally become a has-been and nobody will buy the fact that he’s a 40ish near 50ish year old guy still trying to kick butt (He makes Sean Connery look youthful by comparison). I have finally had it Steve, just quit right now before your dignity gets more stained by making all these bullshit films and descending into the hell were Dolph Lundgren, Don Wilson, and Michael Dudikoff reside. To quote Al Pacino again: DON’T WASTE MY MOTHERFUCKING TIME!!! 0-5

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=6714&reviewer=235
originally posted: 08/03/05 15:09:33
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User Comments

9/29/12 roscoe I agree. The worst Seagal movie I've seen. 2 stars
5/30/09 Josie Cotton is a goddess Worst Seagal movie ever. Well, its this or Kill Switch 2 stars
8/26/07 OutforaCookie Unbearably boring and charmless... like Seagal himself 1 stars
1/18/07 Matt Tried 3 times to watch it on TV before I managed to stay awake for the whole shitty thing. 1 stars
3/27/06 Brian Meyer Not Segal's best, Martial arts is his niche'. 3 stars
12/08/05 JM Synth Seagal's best DTV, for what that's worth 3 stars
8/05/05 flatcapman bad enough for me to put on my turnio and 3 piece suit and kick the next rat I come across 1 stars
10/02/04 flatcapman i sick of this flatcap hate(NO MORE MURDERS LIKE JAN'S) GROW UP 1 stars
9/12/04 lloyd duff should have passed on this one !the pits! 1 stars
9/04/04 Archanist_101 Not bad... It's better than "Half-Past Dead"! 3 stars
5/13/04 Stuart avoid at all costs 2 stars
12/16/03 God YUCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!! 1 stars
10/11/03 iffet arkan Steven Seagal he is still the best !! 5 stars
9/07/03 Sugarfoot Lay off the fatty foods, Fat man! 1 stars
5/23/03 ^ZuLu^ Forseeable story, old Seagal and even the action's missing! Keep your hands off this one! 1 stars
2/19/03 Matthew Jones What happened to the action? Rented it only because it's Seagal. 3 stars
1/22/03 suzie Steven Seagal is still "The Best" action movie star!! Awesome !! 5 stars
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  28-Jan-2003 (R)



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