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Overall Rating
2.07

Awesome: 9.59%
Worth A Look: 8.22%
Just Average: 13.7%
Pretty Crappy: 16.44%
Sucks52.05%

2 reviews, 61 user ratings


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Congo
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by Ryan Arthur

"Gorilla suits=crap."
1 stars

Mutant Gorillas!

Ugh.

Complete and utter crap, based on a decent Michael Crichton novel. Amy's a girl in a gorilla suit...no, Amy's a gorilla, played by a girl in a gorilla suit. That's it. She has this thing on her arm that when she waves it, it speaks. Wave the arm up and down? Probably a dozen words and phrases. It's like having a Teddy Ruxpin doll on your forearm. Doesn't matter that the arm's moving in the same direction. Arm bands are much smarter than us silly humans.

Amy wants to go back to the jungle. Amy's keeper, Peter (played by Dylan Walsh, sporting a bit of an afro) gets the money to take her back from Dr. Frankenfurter (actually, it's Herkermer Hermolka, but since it's Tim Curry, it's always gonna be Frank), who wants to hunt for the lost city of Zinj. Laura Linney tags along because Ash from the Evil Dead movies found a really big diamond (from the lost city) and then disappeared. Winston from Ghostbusters leads 'em all through the jungle to certain death.

They find the city and get mauled by a bunch of mutant gorillas, grey ones that look like they have the teeth from the Bigfoot suit in Harry and The Hendersons. People die, gorillas get sliced in half by diamond-powered lasers, and the survivors (minus Amy) escape in a balloon.

Huh?

Don't worry. You're not missing anything. The acting is way out there (much like Tim Curry's accent) and the effects suck.

(Imagine me waving my arm up and down): Congo stupid movie. Ryan no like.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=707&reviewer=7
originally posted: 09/14/98 11:46:52
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User Comments

9/13/17 morris campbell IT SUCKS 1 stars
7/05/17 Mark Louis Baumgart Not great, but pretty interesting, good journey, pr'bly better than the novel. 3 stars
2/17/13 PAUL SHORTT UNINTENTIONAL LAUGH RIOT 1 stars
10/07/11 Aaron Smith Great sense of the journey. I liked it. 4 stars
1/06/09 Bethany Cox Not that bad! Tim Curry was entertaining! The Solomon Mine scene gives me nightmares! 3 stars
7/25/08 The Dork Knight gave up once i saw the laser gun 1 stars
12/05/06 Captain Amazing Not as bad as they say - but still not great. Good if you like jungle movies. 3 stars
8/09/06 Dragon The Artist This would make a Sci Fi Channel appearance, complete with a visibly animatronic gorilla. 2 stars
1/01/06 cody semi good flick with some elements of story , cool characters, but movie way to ambitious 3 stars
8/16/05 ES Amy likes adventure movie, amy is a good judgeof movies 4 stars
6/02/05 Indrid Cold Laura Linney's wholesome beauty is the only thing this crapfest has going for it. 2 stars
3/17/05 april massaway yr total wrong its cool tthe whole and guts splatting everywhere was sweet/ ransid 5 stars
3/15/05 Ronin not that bad 3 stars
12/26/04 sue b stop eating my seseme cake! 5 stars
11/03/04 Random Flying Chicken I was only impressed by Amy's machine. Everything else can go down the loo. 1 stars
7/31/04 Kathryn Knowlton piece of crap with a monkey that sounds like its retarded 1 stars
7/14/04 Brandon Knight I think it was pretty god dam good. 5 stars
6/09/04 Eric that review is soooo right! holy crap, awesome job 1 stars
4/25/04 Jay Not as bad as everyone makes it out, cheesy at times, has some memorable dialog. 3 stars
11/20/03 Cloey Not even close to the book, but good if you can get past the ugly gray gorilla suits. 4 stars
10/25/03 Kafka THIS IS SO KAFKA.... 1 stars
8/05/03 Double G STOP EATING MY SESAME CAKE, still I HATE MONKEYS !!! 2 stars
5/31/03 leon %%0qwe AMY:AMY ME STOP EATING SESIMIE CAKE!UGLY UGLY BAD BAD STUPID STUPID YOU STUPIDGORILLAGRAY!! 3 stars
5/11/03 Jack Bourbon Not even really a movie. 1 stars
4/02/03 Zach Stop eating my seseme cake. 5 stars
10/23/02 Anastasia Beaverhausen Just because you KNOW Spielberg doesn't mean you can DIRECT 1 stars
8/02/02 Kino first pg-13 movie I saw ( a damn long time ago) so when I saw it it was good. 4 stars
7/26/02 Soulis rent this if you like science fiction, I enjoy dialogue more each time it's on cable 3 stars
11/20/01 colin I love the movie espesily when they find the apes. so stop eat ing my sesame cake! 5 stars
11/20/01 R.W. Welch Unconvincing hodge-podge devoid of believable characters. 2 stars
10/28/01 Andrew Carden It Wasn't That Bad, but It Was Very Boring. 3 stars
5/02/01 chad gentry its cool to see the gorrillas attack the harmless people 4 stars
4/16/01 ChiefAlDog Almost as bad as 'Sphere.' Read Crichton's books, you'll actually learn some cool stuff. 1 stars
4/03/01 J.MORTELL I THOUGHT THE MOVIE WAS BETTER THAN THE BOOK 5 stars
2/14/01 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi Could have been worse...I mean, someone could have urinated on it. 2 stars
12/12/00 The Amazing Rando Call me weird, but I liked this movie. Ernie Hudson plays the best role ever. 5 stars
11/12/00 The EVIL Penguin I wish i giave this ZERO stars. Very awful 1 stars
10/01/00 Madoc69 Don't waste the time / read the book its really great too bad they screw the movie up 2 stars
3/25/00 Richard Wright Utterly preposturous film,you get the feeling one of the featured apes is behind the camera 2 stars
7/07/99 Ben Leostein Rating: * (out of ****) Category: "Below Average" 3 stars
4/22/99 J monkeys and sets looked fake. poor adaptation of book. 1 stars
3/15/99 Go Swans Come on people, it wasn't that bad. 4 stars
1/24/99 Chloe Marie Elestenogoph (clatter@hotmail.com) That monkey sure looked fake. The book's better, for sure. 2 stars
12/19/98 Bats Why does Michael Crichton write good novels and then lets them (or himself) be prostituted? 1 stars
12/11/98 Scion of Graveheart Read the novel. Movie sucks more ass than MC Mario's party mixes.(well, some)( 1 stars
11/25/98 Fred This movie sucks like a Hoover. I don't want to give it ONE star. 1 stars
11/23/98 Lord Of The Dunce The thought of giving this even one star is just nauseating. 1 stars
11/01/98 MR HOLLYWOOD !! um.....i liked it....BUT ITS GOT FUCKIN SHOCKING F/X AND ACTORS 2 stars
10/29/98 cyanide rush even ash and frankenferter can't save this one 2 stars
10/18/98 Kwyjibo Terrible, awful, pathetic. Just stupid in every way. Not a skerrick of intelligence. 1 stars
10/13/98 philip id rather suck my mom's clit than see this again 1 stars
9/30/98 Flea Bitten Nut Turds. What a waste of film. 1 stars
9/26/98 katherine suckssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss shittttttttttttttttt 1 stars
9/13/98 Chip Taylor APES THAT R RIPOFFS OF JURASSIC PARK DINOSAURS. 1 stars
9/05/98 Janine read the book 2 stars
9/05/98 Kid Pee-Pee What the hell were they thinking? This was shit on just so many levels. 1 stars
9/01/98 J-Guy Jurassic Park worked! Let's make more effects driven DUNG!!! shitty movie. 1 stars
8/30/98 The Gorilla's mom Even I couldn't enjoy this steaming pile of splatterpoop. 1 stars
8/29/98 Matt I want the time back that i wasted on this movie 1 stars
8/29/98 Miss Stress but tim curry was in it, oh wait he died, nevermind, it sucked. 2 stars
8/27/98 Mister Whoopee This film and "Speed 2" is playing an extended season at the Hell Cineplex. 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  09-Jun-1995 (PG-13)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  06-Jul-1995 (M)




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