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Overall Rating
2.15

Awesome: 12.03%
Worth A Look: 11.39%
Just Average: 9.49%
Pretty Crappy: 13.29%
Sucks53.8%

5 reviews, 128 user ratings


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2 Fast 2 Furious
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by David Cornelius

"Never title a movie the same way a junior high girl signs her yearbook."
2 stars

The best thing about “The Fast and the Furious” was its title, which to me sounded kinda like a Roger Corman drive-in biker flick or a punk rock documentary. (In fact, it shares its title - but nothing else - with a 1954 John Ireland B picture about criminals and fast cars.) Everything else might have been crap, but at least it had a nifty title.

Not so with its sequel, which somebody in some marketing department somewhere has decided to call “2 Fast 2 Furious.” It’s a title of unfathomable badness, and trying to wrap my brain around how anyone anywhere could have thought that to be a good title simply gives me a headache. I never thought I’d see a lamer sequel title than, say, “Teen Wolf Too” (or the many other “Too” titles of the late 1980s). But here it is.

As for the film itself, it’s surprisingly not as awful as the original, despite the return of vapid pretty boy Paul Walker in the lead role. I mainly credit the mild increase in quality to director John Singleton, inexplicably slumming his way into the shoes of “Furious” hack Rob Cohen (who went on instead to make the crapfest “XXX”). I’m not sure why Singleton, a naturally gifted filmmaker, would opt to make a lameass sequel to a lameass actioner, but I’m grateful for his presence. The action sequences zing more than they did last time out, and there’s a looser feel to the goings-on. Singleton does what Cohen failed to do: he makes the racing sequences exciting.

Still, there’s nothing Singleton can do about the horrid screenplay (by Michael Brandt, Derek Haas, and Gary Scott Thompson, for those keeping score). The story, as much as there is of one, opens with our old pal Brian O’Conner (Walker) cleaning up at a street race in Miami, where he’s apparently been laying low the past few years since he left the police force. But he’s soon captured by the feds, who hand him a deal. They’ll clean his record if he helps bring down drug lord Carter Verone (Cole Hauser). (Don’t ask who cast the extremely Caucasian Hauser as a ruthless baddie who I think is supposed to be either Latino or Italian, and don’t ask why he’s doing what appears to be a Tom Beringer impersonation.)

Anyway, O’Conner - also now known as “Bullet” by street folks who realize “Brian” isn’t too tough a name - agrees to the job, as long as he can bring along childhood buddy/ex-con Roman “Rome” Pearce (Tyrese) for the ride. The feds, being as stupid as they are, agree.

With the help of undercover agent Monica Fuentes (Eva Mendes), the boys work their way into the employ of Verone. And how does one get in the employ of a notorious kingpin? Why, compete in a makeshift race across town, of course. It seems Verone’s planning on leaving town, but first he needs two very fast, very furious drivers who can pick up a load of drug money and deliver it within, say, fifteen minutes. (Why he doesn’t just have it delivered earlier by his own men is a question for another day.)

That’s all there is to the plot, really. It’s a thirty minute story padded out with a while lot of driving around. It was somewhere in the middle of the final car chase that I realized that these “Furious” movies are nothing more than the modern equivalent of “Smokey and the Bandit,” or maybe “Cannonball Run II,” minus Jamie Farr. There’s zero logic, hundreds of fast cars (many of them the kind with neon lights underneath, which they tell me is “cool,” although my gut says otherwise), and plenty of cop cars that crash into each other. All that’s missing from these movies is an uptight southern sheriff. Maybe Clifton James is available for the next one. Or G.W. Bailey.

All these car chase shenanigans are just fine, I suppose. I enjoyed the kinetic glee of some of those chase scenes, especially a predictable-yet-fun moment where O’Conner and company loses the feds among a jumble of equally tacky race cars. I also had a good time watching some of the supporting cast (including spelling bee loser/rap star “Ludacris” as a slick garage owner) goof around in breezy, good-time bit parts.

But good gravy, the script is a sink hole for shaky logic, cheap action clichés, and horrid dialogue (a scene where Verone threatens a hapless victim with a hungry rat is downright laughable), and Walker’s such a waste of screen time, with his blank stare and clumsy acting, that he literally ruins every frame of film he’s in. Singleton, working on the same giddy anything-for-a-thrill level as his excellent “Shaft” remake, was almost able to make “2 Fast” the dumb fun number the original failed to be; Walker, however, drags everything back down to the unenjoyable level of the first movie. “2 Fast 2 Furious” isn’t quite as bad as its title, but it’s not much better, either.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=7617&reviewer=392
originally posted: 02/27/05 17:07:14
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User Comments

9/21/17 morris campbell same old shit minus douchebag diesel 1 stars
4/05/15 Cameron What a patronizing review. This was a highly entertaining and well-made film. 4 stars
2/15/09 Jeff Wilder What happened to John Singleton? 1 stars
6/14/08 CD It was pointless, dumb, and had me drooling because of the abundance of stupidity, DUMB! 1 stars
9/11/07 Caleb fuck u all it was a sick movie 5 stars
9/01/07 fgfftyh it is very cool 5 stars
6/13/07 michael this movie is cool 5 stars
5/16/07 sam disappointed as the first waas much better but have seen better 2 stars
5/15/07 Bilge Kaðan Oran 10330 5 stars
3/10/07 Car Lover This is crap. Plastic cars doing impossible stuffs 1 stars
5/12/06 mr.seraph fast and the furious wasnt too great, and this movie is even worse 2 stars
3/27/06 Brian Meyer As fun as driving intoxicated, with all the after effects of the crash. fatalities included 1 stars
2/26/06 Anthony Feor Not the best sequel, but it was enjoyable 3 stars
12/22/05 cody a good sequel with even more car action and stunts, good story, and cool music vin is gone 4 stars
12/08/05 Saqib I was insulted upon considering what they must have thought of the viewers intellect 1 stars
11/25/05 Zenny I felt my IQ dropping the whole time 1 stars
10/05/05 Andrew Cramer This surpassed my incredibly low expectations, and not in a good way. 1 stars
8/31/05 Dyran Saggoonoo The stunts are not too cool ! 4 stars
8/28/05 Denzel Tomarra Very good movie 5 stars
8/20/05 tony it was good. I esspecially liked the car races! 3 stars
7/31/05 Bad Critic It made me hate the first one too! 2 stars
7/18/05 nathan yeates its mint 5 stars
4/24/05 OverTheRainbow if you are wanting male eye candy...this is the movie! 5 stars
4/16/05 sidman656 it had its action and it threw in some girls but there could've been more of a story to it 3 stars
4/15/05 Carol Conway Wasn't fast enough 2 stars
3/25/05 Denise not as good as the first 3 stars
3/12/05 Jester Disappointment after it's much better predecessor 2 stars
3/08/05 Carolyn Rathburn A lot of grand standing, but lots of action, twists and turns, love those cars 4 stars
3/02/05 jake benson it was fucking awsome 5 stars
3/02/05 David Tsung please...no more fast or furious 1 stars
3/01/05 Jack Bourbon Shockingly, not a masterpiece 2 stars
3/01/05 Colleen Goldrick 2 Slow 1 stars
2/01/05 Charlie Too Lame Too Stupid! 2 stars
12/30/04 Dan Wtf did I just watch? 1 stars
11/25/04 MICHAEL COOL BUT GOOD 3 stars
11/03/04 Rabekah Williams the first one sucked, the sec bombed hard, need i say more. 1 stars
10/02/04 Jackson Anderson sick mate 5 stars
9/10/04 Therese The film was really good 5 stars
8/16/04 ALDO The story in this was way better than part 1.... 4 stars
7/09/04 YASSER HUSSAIN THE FILM IS WICKED 5 stars
7/09/04 Jack An awful movie that reeks of shallowness and stupidity, Ah The Accident Of Birth 1 stars
6/25/04 Nick Clark it was a really cool movie 4 stars
6/24/04 james dont you think that this movie was just a bit exgerated like those lightheaded movie people 2 stars
6/02/04 J 1 WILD RIDE!!! 5 stars
5/31/04 Charlene Javier Pass me the Advil! 1 stars
5/27/04 the bride Brad Da Man Hales? You fuckin asshole. This movie sucks big fat Rhinoceros dick. GROW UP!! 1 stars
4/14/04 matt aprile it is the best movie ive seen about cars and i love cars 5 stars
3/30/04 Alex Awesome cars, great action, just as good as the first one. 5 stars
3/28/04 Brad Da Man Hales totally better than the 1st hope there's a 3rd 5 stars
3/19/04 Nannette this was a good movie 4 stars
3/18/04 Philip James Pattemore I loved the four wheel drives at the start 5 stars
3/13/04 Johnno Falcon piece of shit 1 stars
2/06/04 Lar 15 I absolutly loved the first one but this one was pure crap.Lame! 2 stars
1/28/04 J An Awesome jaw dropper! *** 5 stars
1/17/04 tadpole very good movie 4 stars
1/12/04 Nucleo I'd rather jam a flaming spork up my ass. 1 stars
12/30/03 Jason Maine go play video games like GTA3 or Vice City you dumb fucks! 1 stars
12/22/03 the Grinch Watch Monster Garage or buy Car + Driver.....they have more of a plot 1 stars
12/14/03 frank lohns its shit 1 stars
11/27/03 ben lang Its a wicked and andrenalin rushing movie 5 stars
11/13/03 matt cool 4 stars
11/08/03 John Jackoffski Absolute crap, i hated it and half the stunts were totally impossible. 1 stars
10/26/03 Zaharin Hamid aka The Movie Samseng I fucking hated this movie. It had nothing to do whatsoever with the first one. 1 stars
10/17/03 madsnake this movie is worse than rugrats in paris 1 stars
10/16/03 Nicci Even my bf appoligized for making us watch this junk! 1 stars
10/09/03 Squall01mv A buncha stickers and a tin wing Yeah cars look really great...for me to poop on 1 stars
9/28/03 Bubba it sucked green donky dicks - is there a 0 star rating? 1 stars
9/28/03 djacosta ¡ Hijos de la gran puta ! 1 stars
9/24/03 Haydn White It was a fast paced movie with alot of action with great looking cars 5 stars
9/22/03 jack i wanted to put a bullet in my brain at the theater 1 stars
8/27/03 JJ from da block Please, plastic cars and where's that VIN number dude? 1 stars
8/27/03 Ghetto Smurf Too fast and too furious for a good script *applause* 1 stars
8/17/03 palaboy101 the first movie was definitely better than this 3 stars
8/12/03 swebb I love cars,in every way and every form,but strangely i agree fully with you,TERRIBLE! 1 stars
8/11/03 Amy Would be improved greatly if Walker suddenly became mute. 1 stars
8/05/03 jess I loved it but not as good as the first one 4 stars
7/27/03 Christina It was alright, plot wasnt that good, but i still think it is worth watching at least once 4 stars
7/20/03 AntiRice Never have I seen anything that retarded in my life, lame cars, lame plot 'Nuff said 1 stars
7/19/03 jo blo this move is the crapest ever 1 stars
7/16/03 Terrance Rogers It was good, but Tyrese can't act 4 stars
7/15/03 carlin gazzola fuck the movie 1 stars
7/14/03 jon smith total shit 1 stars
7/07/03 D.A. it sucks reakky bad 1 stars
7/06/03 terance brown not as good as the first 1 4 stars
7/05/03 palaboy101 it's good, but not as memorable as the first movie 3 stars
7/04/03 italian stallion SIK CARS, SHIT ACTING!!! 2 stars
7/04/03 hitler hoganban sweetcars 1 stars
7/01/03 jerk jerk 1 stars
7/01/03 rick fallit it's shit 1 stars
6/29/03 chimney cheese This film stinks. Fast cars & bimbos wont interest me in a film with a woeful plot. 1 stars
6/28/03 Jordi Ok the movie was pretty good but pretty predictable but I think worth it! 4 stars
6/28/03 lick my nuts geeks you suck 4 stars
6/27/03 Atanu oh jeez. why bother 1 stars
6/25/03 Wade one word, Crap, I hate all this cops vs bad guy sh*t, walker and tyrese=beavis + butthead 2 stars
6/24/03 Tiffany See it if you like fast cars, not for the story line 4 stars
6/23/03 marzio arigoni@rtsi.ch simply terrible! Walker is not an actor, and Tyrese... 1 stars
6/22/03 joker cars are awesome 4 stars
6/22/03 Kym ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ..... oh mercy 1 stars
6/19/03 ^ZuLu^ Absolutely average and overdone (boat-scene!). Even the cars were just ok! 3 stars
6/19/03 Dale Birmingham Wow, this really is the worst i've seen yet 1 stars
6/18/03 Captain Highcrime 4 year olds playing with Hot Wheels can do better 2 stars
6/17/03 Large Farve Utter shit. Can't believe the news called this a 'cult classic' 1 stars
6/16/03 honda_racer Another Corporate film brainwashing idiots with product placement 1 stars
6/15/03 Artur really bad movie, can't compare to the first one 1 stars
6/15/03 Earl Dittman, Wireless Magazine What did you expect, spacemonkeys? It's a sequel to "The Fast and The Furious"! 1 stars
6/15/03 monkey slayer shit. pure shit. stick to the first one. 1 stars
6/15/03 h8tinglyf it sucked 1 stars
6/14/03 fart pipe use some real cars, enough of this rice shit 1 stars
6/13/03 killa this movie sucked donkey balls I wasted an hour and a half of my life watching it. 1 stars
6/12/03 Brian i have never heard a white and black guy call each other "bro" and "cuz" that many times 1 stars
6/11/03 Not Ebert an embarassment for John Singleton 1 stars
6/10/03 jeff lewis I might as well have set fire to $8.25 1 stars
6/10/03 Bryan acting sucked plot sucked, dialogue sucked, and the cars were ridicules, Where's Rob Cohen? 1 stars
6/10/03 Hobo Superstar Bra, wassup, I'm am be fin ta riz up n get my race on!!!1 1 stars
6/09/03 Candy Mercado I thought the movie was better than the first . Paul Walker looked hotter than ever. 4 stars
6/09/03 c berry Horrible Director 1 stars
6/09/03 Matt the movie sucked, the cars were not even that good 2 stars
6/08/03 Brian my faith in the movie industry continues to dwindle... 1 stars
6/08/03 Phil The movie sure makes you appricate sequels like godfather 3 alot more 1 stars
6/08/03 Gearhead Walker+Tyrese= hot gay action. Cars+mods=consumer fetishism. For 13 year olds only. 1 stars
6/07/03 Scott Young 100 minutes of rubbish. Couldn't be worse. 1 stars
6/07/03 Angolmois If you thought Matrix sucked donkeys, then this one eviscerates them through the same hole. 1 stars
6/07/03 heeee worse then the first 1 stars
6/07/03 Willie "ATLBLKICE" Simmons Tyrese saved this movie...just another shameful production to rip-off movie goers. 3 stars
6/06/03 synder dumb but entertaining 2 stars
6/06/03 kingroom.com Nothing Like The First Film Which Is A Crime 2 stars
6/06/03 FFEXTREME.COM THIS MOVIE 2 WORST 2 BORING,,,, MATRIX 2 WAS 10X BETTER 1 stars
6/06/03 Ronado Pee-Whew! 3 Action scenes and nothing else 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  06-Jun-2003 (PG-13)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  05-Jun-2003




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