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Overall Rating
1.93

Awesome: 9.26%
Worth A Look: 5.56%
Just Average: 11.11%
Pretty Crappy: 16.67%
Sucks57.41%

3 reviews, 36 user ratings


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Mod Squad, The
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by Erik Childress

"Mod Isn't Adjective to Use for This Squad"
1 stars

The Mod Squad (*) - I counted at least three different song-induced thought scenes. You know the moments I mean. The ones where a song from the film’s hopefully sell-able soundtrack blares in Dolby Digital while each member of the cast stares longfully (and long) to the side of the camera each on their own, instead of together like they should be. This is identified in movies as deep thought. And I hope the actors really did some deep thinking about their careers during these moments because hopefully they realized that they were stuck in a screenplay that could have used some tips from Jack Handey.

This film is 94 minutes long and I counted at least three of these sequences. There might have been more but this film sucked so many I.Q. points out of my head that I found myself unable to remember any number after 3. This film makes The Avengers look like The Fugitive. The only real saving grace for me was getting to see Claire Danes run around in her black underwear which was about the only thing keeping my eyes propped open. Now I’ve never seen The Mod Squad TV show. It was before my time and I’ve never caught any reruns. But in the movie, they keep playing this 60s/70s style TV music during the action scenes (the final one looks like something out of a Naked Gun movie) which made me think that the filmmakers were just trying to create a new episode of the TV show and it comes off as emotionally satisfying and exciting as the CHIPS reunion. The screenplay makes no effort to define any of our three heroes save for the opening introduction and a one-line explanation from the under-used Dennis Farina (who appears to be the only good cop we meet in the movie other than the Internal Affairs guy from The Practice). If you knew nothing about the original TV show - you'’ have no idea what this movie was supposed to be about. It plays like an episode of The Incredible Hulk with its cardboard villains and lame action scenes. The film even has the audacity to try and involve its audience (God Forbid) in a central mystery plot - where hopefully not a single audience member was fooled by who turned out to be the villains - essentially everyone in the cast except The Mod Squad and Dennis Farina (because he gets killed in 20 minutes). Even the pre-credit sequence is laughable when we get a definition of what “MOD” means. OK, Fine. But then, on the same title card, the film identifies what a “SQUAD” is. How dumb does it think its audience is? The film doesn’t even play up the definition of “MOD” in the screenplay other than as the title of the movie which essentially isn’t even there’s to claim to begin with. Giovanni Ribisi runs around in this movie as if he was still playing the retarded love interest in The Other Sister. This guy is not all there. It took Spielberg to actually get a normal performance out of him in Saving Private Ryan. Anyone out there who says they can’t stand Adam Sandler, get a good strong whiff of Giovanni Ribisi in this film and you’ll be hailing Sandler as the next Buster Keaton. And Claire Danes - I think she is a very good actress. But can she choose a role for Christ’s sake where she doesn’t have a crying scene. Granted, she only sheds a few single tears in this film, but I count it. She has had major bawling scenes (not only on the great TV show My So-Called Life) but in To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday, Les Miserables, Little Women (a great film), and the king of the idiotic MTV remakes - Romeo and Juliet.

When I walked (or more appropriately ran) out of the theater - there were managers propped up at the exits passing out coupons. I thought the cheap-asses at AMC were giving us free small cokes to compensate for the ten minute delay after the previews when the lights came up suggesting that the film may have broke. Needless to say I was quite surprised to see that they were handing out free movie passes - which made me wonder. Were the passes for the ten-minute interruption before the movie? Or were they rewards for anyone who actually made it through all 94 minutes of The Mod Squad? I took the pass most graciously and have to side towards my latter opinion because those ten minutes before the movie weren’t as bad as they might have thought. At least I got some deep thinking done.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=803&reviewer=198
originally posted: 02/15/00 17:12:20
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User Comments

6/11/16 Tommy2tone What a fucked-up review by Erik Childress. 3 stars
5/19/14 PAUL SHORTT INCOHERENT, MINDLESS REHASH 1 stars
4/24/03 Jack Sommersby As dreadful as expected. Somone ban Danes from the world of cinema. 1 stars
3/30/02 Carmen Crowe Last look at halfway good Claire Danes before downward spiral began in Brokedown Palace. 3 stars
11/22/01 Andrew Carden I'd Rather Watch The TV Series, but Not Half-Bad. 3 stars
9/01/01 Butterbean Ribisi got on my nerves, the script was shit.....you get the idea 2 stars
6/07/01 *~Danielle*Ophelia~* (formerly KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi) This movie was like smelling somebody's stinky armpit for 2 hours. Utterly repulsive. 1 stars
10/01/00 Madoc69 not worth the bandwith you wasted to read this 1 stars
7/23/99 Hagbard Celine MOD SQUAD?! I haven't even seen it, but it MUST suck. 1 stars
7/20/99 James The seventies funky feel may have helped people to reminisce, but I was four when the ended 2 stars
7/18/99 TOMB WORSE TRANSLATION TO FILM KIND OF MOVIE 1 stars
5/07/99 Diptherio I am amused 5 stars
4/29/99 Evan Hughes This movie caused me physical pain. I think my body rejected it. 1 stars
4/29/99 Goddess No way does this movie suck! I think it's cool. 4 stars
4/26/99 Ben Galewitz I could have made a better film about me taking a shit, i like to smell my urine, im gay 1 stars
4/23/99 Ember_fires Good movie, funnier than expected but is far from the best. 4 stars
4/11/99 Technorama Go! was a better flick. Reeally botched up movie. 1 stars
4/11/99 Alonzo Talk about a waste of talent. This movie was reeeeally bad 1 stars
4/08/99 John Sutphin I could've filmed a better movie in my backyard 1 stars
4/04/99 Stephanie I loved this movie, finally it was the grown-ups who were bad instead of the kids. 5 stars
4/03/99 Albert Hey, loved this movie. Ribisi Rocks. 5 stars
4/02/99 Lily Will someone PLEASE return Claire Danes' brain? 1 stars
4/01/99 Ah Dooey The Big Hit was better. What a bunch of dumbass polliwogs. 1 stars
3/30/99 Cecelia worst movie I have ever seen 1 stars
3/29/99 Daddy Rich Robisi is hilarious and Epps is a cool mother fucker. Other than that, just average. 3 stars
3/29/99 Michael Claire sucked 1 stars
3/28/99 Marcous no don't go 1 stars
3/28/99 Keith I agree, "My so called movie" fits. Maybe the "bomb Squad" it's gonna bomb 1 stars
3/28/99 mikef this rocks when you don't compare it to the tv show. YEAH BOB! 5 stars
3/28/99 Randall Give it a shot, its better than a lot of other crap out there 4 stars
3/27/99 HeatherLadyBug They should have named it "My So-Called Movie" 1 stars
3/27/99 Lisa Awful. Painfully bad. S-l-o-w. Almost walked out. Not one funny comment or one cool stunt. 1 stars
3/24/99 Viral Messiah Not much decency in this movie. 3 stars
3/24/99 CHERLETTA WHITAKER OMAR EPPS WAS GREAT AND THE MOVIE WAS ALSO 5 stars
1/24/99 Dark Horizons I found myself rather bored throughout the entire film. 2 stars
10/19/98 Aint-It-Cool Hip actors. Hip music. Hip clothes. Nothing special. 3 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  26-Mar-1999 (R)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  15-Jul-1999


Directed by
  Scott Silver

Written by
  Scott Silver
  Stephen Kay

Cast
  Claire Danes
  Omar Epps
  Giovanni Ribisi
  Steve Harris
  Josh Brolin
  Michael Lerner



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