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Overall Rating
3.98

Awesome: 32.53%
Worth A Look47.59%
Just Average: 7.83%
Pretty Crappy: 9.04%
Sucks: 3.01%

12 reviews, 94 user ratings


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Antz
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by FrankG

"You know... Starship Troopers… for kids!"
5 stars

Torture. Decapitations. Impaled bodies. Deaths by incineration. Bodies crushed to death and ripped apart by acid. The hells of War. Talk of sex and seduction. Mouth to anus sucking action. The children's movie, 'Antz?!?!?'

I can not believe that this film got a PG rating. All the things I list above happen in the movie. I swear to god (i.e. Terry Gilliam). I don’t know how they got away with it. Maybe because all the characters are ants and not humans. But if you prick an ant... does he not bleed? Hmmm... no, I guess they just leak. But still. I personally don’t think this movie is too suitable for children. But screw those stunties... they make too much noise anyway. I think that all the porno theaters should have children Wednesdays or something. That way, they can do a double feature of ‘Carl Cums Home’ and ‘Antz,’ and we adult humans can go see a kids movie without all those damn kids.

Now, for us non-vertically challenged humans, its all good. The story follows the worker ant, Z, voiced by Woody Allen (I hear that there is a cut scene where Z has his way with a asian fire-ant larva. Maybe in the director’s cut, eh?). Z has come to the realization that he as a person, is totally insignificant in the grand scheme of things. But then his life turns upside down, with a chance encounter with the colony princess, Balla, voiced by Sharon Stone… and no, she isn’t wearing underwear. Z decides to switch places with his best bud, Weaver, voiced by Sly Stallone. Weaver’s a soldier ant, so Z does the old switch-aroo so he can meet Bala again at an army inspection. Thing is, Weaver’s unit gets sent to war. Z survives the disturbing battle, and returns a hero. Problem is, the ants have a class society in which you are born into a class, and you die in that class… nothing else is possible. When everybody finds out that Z is a worker ant, everybody starts thinking for themselves. Z becomes a Jesus/Hoffa type person in all the ants eyes. Which goes against everything that General Mandible (voice of Gene Hackman) loves and believes. Shenanigans ensue, and Z and Bala find themselves in the outside world alone. Bala wishes to return to the colony, and Z takes this opportunity to search for Insectopia. A world where food is in abundance, and an ant can be his own ant.

The animation was incredible. I’m even a hater of computer animation… I like the old ink and celluloid deal, but ‘Antz’ has me coming around. The story kept me interested too. And this is Stallone at his best… he even did better then the time he played the ant in ‘Pi.’ That was him… wasn’t it?

Go see ‘Antz.’ But leave you kids at home with the stoner babysitter. Because it’s no place for kids.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=81&reviewer=4
originally posted: 10/16/98 12:03:14
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User Comments

1/01/10 Dane Youssef Not just for the kids. It works on every possible level. Film takes a quantum leap forword. 5 stars
1/17/09 Samantha Pruitt Woody Allen as an, what could be better? not sarcasm, really funny movie. 5 stars
11/07/08 Tiffany Losco Cute, my daughter loved it 4 stars
8/07/08 David Cohen Woody Allen does his same, tired old schtick, only as an ant 3 stars
7/23/08 Shaun Wallner Great Kids Film! 5 stars
4/14/08 Andrew Excellent movie with some great humor packed in it, too. 5 stars
3/01/08 Pamela White humorous what a brave ant 4 stars
6/03/07 fools♫gold Yeah, I have to rate so as to cancel out this saying that kids shouldn't watch it. 4/5 or.. 5 stars
3/08/07 johnnyfog A fun romp, though there's swearing so no kid viewers. WTF? 4 stars
2/16/07 Vip Ebriega Small world, unique movie. 4 stars
9/30/06 gambling bonus 5 stars
8/15/06 drydock54321 fun for everyone 4 stars
7/19/06 Sandy + Stephanie (twins) that little ant 5 stars
5/16/06 Fruit-Loop Hey who's the bigger Idiot? The Idiot or the Idiot that says this movie is for idiots? 4 stars
2/12/06 Anthony Hilarious 4 stars
11/15/05 Adrian An entertaining look at the world and life of ants. 4 stars
11/09/05 Quigley awesome visuals, awesome one-liners, awesome Woody Allen. the whole movie is awesome! 5 stars
8/26/05 Aliyah It suck shark tale is better. 1 stars
7/28/05 tony HILARIOUS. A KEEPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
3/25/05 Valerie For some reason I really like this one, LOL. 4 stars
12/31/04 Landshark Cavalcade of stars as excuse for slavish caricature, no diff from Shark Tale crap. 2 stars
11/15/04 Ange makes u think of steping on ants.. with chewy! 5 stars
8/30/04 Carmen it was boring 1 stars
7/13/04 tatum "A Bug's Life" for Mom and Dad, and funny to boot 5 stars
6/03/04 Daveman Brilliant animation for its time and an interesting idea, but damn it's no Bug's Life. 4 stars
5/16/04 DM Interesting that the ripoff ("A Bug's Life") was somewhat better 4 stars
2/27/04 Kyle Stunning cast brings the movie up a notch. 3 stars
2/09/04 Whatevr Makes you think twice about burning ants with a magnifying glass. 5 stars
8/30/03 Kitty Kelso Even if hes got only a few lines, aykroyd was the best one 3 stars
9/11/02 Zefram Mann Decent animation, excellent script, and top notch voice talent. 5 stars
7/10/02 KMG Just okay 3 stars
2/08/02 Error One of the best movie ever! 5 stars
12/16/01 Yul Spinner Good, but a lot less than "Bug's Life". This one has no heart. The characters are annoying 3 stars
10/14/01 Andrew Carden The First Adult Cartoon With Woody Allen Hits Rock Bottom. 2 stars
10/03/01 Butterbean Hmmm..I'll go back to watching "Toy Story" 3 stars
8/30/01 Henry Ginsberg Very witty and well animated. 5 stars
8/28/01 Gary Loved it. Witty, great voiceovers. Muddy, dull colours but the great script shines through. 5 stars
8/07/01 Mr. Hat W/a good voice-overcast,itcan'tlose.1 WoodyAllen pic U where won't fall asleep. 5 stars
7/03/01 jacqui great fun for adults disgruntled with their lot in life; allen and Walken are fantastic 5 stars
4/15/01 LiL Wow, this movie is funny, original and all around fantastic! 5 stars
4/09/01 Gary This is a better film than "A Bug's Life" and it gets less credit. You should see it! 4 stars
3/11/01 Jimmy Chrabot IN THE MOVIE "ANTZ", THERE MIGHT BE A STILL ABOUT BALA IS ON THE BACK OF THE PRAYING MANTIS 5 stars
2/16/01 lisa there was only one bloody color in the movie!! it was boring. 2 stars
2/06/01 Turtle Much better than the semi-dissappointing "A Bug's Life". 4 stars
1/18/01 Jed Good movie indeed Woody Allen was funny among others. 4 stars
11/12/00 The EVIL Penguin see the right side 4 stars
11/07/00 dan extremely entertaining and funny! much better than "Bugs" 5 stars
8/25/00 Matthew Bartley 'Hey this tastes like crap' 'It is crap! Good crap!' 5 stars
7/03/00 Stephen Anderson A good movie for both adults and children 4 stars
2/12/00 Richard Wright Not as funny the second time I saw it. Still a good "adult" style animation though. 4 stars
12/12/99 owins c-ta that funny and enjoy 5 stars
11/01/99 hum yawn 2 stars
10/24/99 Bueller Woody Allen has never been so viusally appealing. I liked it better than Blair Witch... 3 stars
7/01/99 Elizaveta Working men of all countries, Unite! 4 stars
1/18/99 Yo Momma A+ for humor and fun, D for storyline. Excellent 4 a kiddy movie. 4 stars
1/16/99 Redial Awesome 4 a kiddie movie. 4 stars
1/15/99 ACME-TNT Fivestar cast,excellent story,mezmorizing animation,hilarious humor,fun fun,cool action,etc 5 stars
1/14/99 Charles Dubé The return of the Woodman as...an insect. Allen makes a welcome comeback! 5 stars
1/02/99 Dasha great, great, great movie! Sharp, witty and funny too. 5 stars
12/28/98 pieter post Wonderful computer animation film 5 stars
12/22/98 Puppy Well. As expected Woody Allen annoyed me beyond belief. *sigh* 2 stars
12/18/98 John Kinsella Loved it! Amazing animation. Funny story. PDI is a comer! 5 stars
12/16/98 ken A+ for technology, D for storyline 3 stars
12/13/98 Binky Works better fi you haven't just seen the far superior A Bug's Life. Not bad, but not great 4 stars
12/07/98 Shadow Raider Good movie... Funny as hell... Leave the kiddies at home. 4 stars
11/23/98 Evil Al I always thought Woody Allen was an insect! 4 stars
11/23/98 buddy Just okay, the darkness of it gave me a headache. 3 stars
11/21/98 Baked Spam It sucks...Really sucks! 1 stars
11/14/98 Hal 9000 Characters were grotesque in appearance. Thin and unengaging story. Too much brown. 3 stars
11/13/98 Lord Of The Dunce I'm anti (pun intended) celebrity voices. Share the work with unknown actors, assholes! 3 stars
11/08/98 MissDelicateFlower I wish the sound had been broken when I saw it. 2 stars
11/06/98 David Torpey Great movie but leave the young ones at home. Like 7 unless you like to hear cuss words. 4 stars
11/05/98 bvw funny as hell. not really a kid's movie, per se 5 stars
11/03/98 The Dude I really expected it to be more of a little childs movie, But I enjoyed it 4 stars
11/03/98 The Graduate Intelligent and hilarious! How many animated flicks can get a laugh from quoting Marx? 5 stars
10/29/98 Katsat Splashy animation but hollow inside. Woody annonying, Stone bland. No magic, no passion. 2 stars
10/26/98 Silent Rob Themes and images that sail right over the intended audiences head. Kid film? NOT!!! 4 stars
10/24/98 Ash Toy Story is better than this, and the voices totally bite!! A Bugs Life will be better!!!! 1 stars
10/23/98 Vick Di Brecci A fine remake of Everything You... Sex's last segment with added romance and social comment 4 stars
10/22/98 stf Nice to look at, actors are great! storyline so so but worth it for the social class issue 4 stars
10/21/98 Negative Creep Stallone is Great in this. Finally Proves he CAN be Funny, lighthearted. 3 stars
10/19/98 Aint-It-Cool intellectually stimulating as well as beautiful and fun. No stupid sidekicks or songs! 5 stars
10/17/98 Kwyjibo Just not as impressed as the media says I should be. Sucked. 3 stars
10/17/98 Mr Showbiz cunning new animated adventure about a worker ant who longs to escape his fascist colony 5 stars
10/16/98 Sailor Moon Ate My Balls Better than Disney's Toy Story, this movie rocks! 5 stars
10/14/98 Airlu I LOVED IT!!!! A great movie with a great cast. Definitely worth the 8 bucks. 5 stars
10/13/98 Gamma Best CG Water ever. Walken kicks all ass, no matter the role. Decent Story 4 stars
10/12/98 grunter Stunningly unfunny; If U caught even 1 of the ET TV profiles, U saw the whole damn film. 2 stars
10/07/98 Armageddon The celeb voices made this film extremely fun to watch. Wonderful animation. 4 stars
10/07/98 Korny Island This was pretty good effects but it was a kind of crappy story. One for kids only. 2 stars
10/03/98 Shmoo Sux 1 stars
9/30/98 katherine I think this movie's pretty good 4 kids. It was funny, and it taught a lesson. 5 stars
9/29/98 brian Really enjoyed the film! I saw it at the Toronoto Film Festival! 5 stars
9/25/98 dov Sly is a hoot. 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  02-Oct-1998 (PG)
  DVD: 31-May-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  29-Oct-1998 (PG)




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