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Overall Rating
3.15

Awesome: 23.6%
Worth A Look28.09%
Just Average: 11.24%
Pretty Crappy: 13.48%
Sucks: 23.6%

5 reviews, 59 user ratings


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Eurotrip
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by Erik Childress

"Monty Python Never Had This Much Spam"
2 stars

When you buy a ticket for the travelogue that is Eurotrip, you’ll be treated to blowjobs for geeks, Xena: Warrior Princess as a German dominatrix, incestual smooching, anal intrusion, the most exposed penises since the wideshot in Braveheart and if you stick around for the credits, a five-year old girl projectile peeing under her dress. No doubt about it, Eurotrip is the first theatrical adaptation of a pop-up fetish ad on the internet and there’s no spam filter to block it out.

Scott (Scott Mechlowicz) has just been harshly told at graduation that his girlfriend (Smallville’s Kristin Kreuk) is sleeping around and now breaking up with him. He’s also been communicating with a German e-mail pal named Mieke that his best friend, Cooper (Jacob Pitts) warns may someday want to get through customs to get a hold of HIS package.

In a drunken stupor he tells Mieke off only to be educated that the him is a her (Jessica Boehrs) and a hot one at that. How Scott could write and read fluent German and never be able to differentiate between gender-speak in all that time is one for the Stupid Americans argument. Mieke blocks Scott’s e-mails before he gets a chance to apologize, so its off to Europe to track her down and tell her in person. Apparently, Scott never thought of using someone else’s e-mail address to write her back. No matter since when they finally meet, the rude e-mail is the last thing to come up. Wink. Nudge. Say no more.

So it’s off to see England and then see France to see someone’s underpants. The comic set pieces don’t range much further than what you read in the opening paragraph. Scott and Cooper do hook up with some football hooligans (led by Vinnie Jones) and with a few laughs set up some hope that Eurotrip may prove to be a minial pleasant distraction. If I told you a bit involving fighting robot mimes was the comic highlight, how much hope would you still have?

The pair eventually hook up with backhome pals, the twins Jenny (Michelle Trachtenberg) and Jamie (Travis Wester). They fulfill the requisite geek know-it-all and the promise of where child stars go when they get their boobs. To their credit, this foursome is hardly the annoyance one would fear walking in to such a low, lowbrow teen comedy. They’re not very bright, but they ain’t hateful either. Mostly they just have a passion of sex, a hormonal reality that goes back centuries proving, once and for all, that there are truly two kinds of people in this world – those who go to Amsterdam and those who make Christ epics.

The ads boast Eurotrip as “from the makers of Road Trip and Old School” and it’s clear that they did go to the Todd Phillips school of non-comedic filmmaking. Looking at the credits of Jeff Schaffer, Alec Berg & David Mandel and you’ll see resumes boasting Seinfeld, Saturday Night Live and Conan O’Brien. More recently you’ll notice The Cat in the Hat which means all bets are off in their theatrical talent department. Schaffer has not a clue how to set-up and payoff a joke (case-and-points: the Vatican sequence and Rade Sherbedgia’s stuck-in-the-80s Bratlavian) and I’d like to know who devised the special brownies gag which is one of the least competent jokes ever committed to film. And if you can tell me what was said between Scott and Mieke’s father while a little kid goosesteps behind him with a drawn-on Hitler mustache, don’t bother cause clearly that’s not what the auteurs were going for. And I don’t care.

Cameos from SNL’s Fred Armisen and Drew Carey’s Diedrich Bader are full of nothing. Bader must have been visiting the set for his 36 seconds. One surprise cameo does work though (and how the hell did they get HIM?) if only because I actually left the theater with his song’s chorus in my head. Eurotrip refuses to bore us since it’s at least always attempting a laugh or setting us up for the next gross-out. It’s not as monumentally bad as this year’s The Perfect Score or You Got Served but when it was all over I thought of a recent expose on internet spammers. One businessman said he probably sends out 10 million e-mails a day and maybe gets 50 sales. Do some lowest-common denominator fractions, substitute jokes for e-mails and you’ll get the idea about the making of Eurotrip very quickly.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=8747&reviewer=198
originally posted: 02/20/04 01:01:48
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User Comments

5/10/13 Charles Tatum Armisen is funny, the rest is not. 1 stars
3/17/11 art PURE MONKEY BUSSINESS! 4 stars
8/18/08 Shaun Wallner Had some funny parts. 4 stars
1/19/08 Dan huntley BEST FILM EVER. Screw the bar-studs who rated this fantastic film poorly. 5 stars
7/28/07 matt amateurish but really funny 5 stars
2/07/07 David Pollastrini hot chicks, not much else 2 stars
11/01/06 3man Disgustingly funny. One of the few movies to make me laugh out loud. 4 stars
9/19/06 PD Uneven but well-meaning, bejeweled with many comedic gems 4 stars
7/13/06 EZ I LOVE BOOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
6/12/06 room42more Poorly written and directed, but still entertaining 3 stars
1/01/06 cody a cool sequel to roadtrip, funny and has sexy girls to boot, use her leg for a humping post 4 stars
9/14/05 matt ignore the critics, absolutely hilarious 5 stars
8/08/05 ffffffffffffff great 5 stars
7/20/05 JayJay NielNiel WimerWimmer Smith IT ROCKED OMG I LOVE IT I WANNA DO JAMIE 5 stars
2/13/05 Littlepurch Had low expectations but actualy laughed harder than i have in ages! Trachtenburg was best. 5 stars
2/02/05 BoyInTheDesignerBubble A badly made movie, but funny in spots. 3 stars
1/19/05 X-naut lol as funny as american pie but cooper is no stifler ^_^ 5 stars
1/14/05 Pee-Wee Herman So, good I help but touch myself 5 stars
1/03/05 M. Diddy This was very funny 5 stars
12/24/04 Freddy hilarious stuff. I can't believe all the bad ratings! 5 stars
12/17/04 Imperfecto Why can't we all just get along? 1 stars
11/11/04 Balint ***** 5 stars
9/26/04 P.Rodriguez about as funny as a wet fart 1 stars
8/15/04 Dallas Moye Funny 4 stars
8/10/04 howdinski a very funny film well worthe a watch by any one who enjoyed the first 1 or american pie 4 stars
8/08/04 Kerry It was so raunchy it was funny. 5 stars
8/04/04 Max heh heh Fluggenhaimer I mean this is definetly where I parked my car 5 stars
7/03/04 petelb The "worst movie ever made". This movie is plain garbage! 1 stars
6/25/04 Gray better than soul plane 3 stars
6/11/04 DJ ERIC 88 cheech and chong woud be proud, made it up as they were filming it! i was embarrased! 2 stars
6/08/04 phoenix Very funny. Matt Damon was hilarious, and heMic 4 stars
6/02/04 Collin Dumb, shallow, potintless and grossly offensive are the terms that best describe this film 1 stars
5/21/04 Sheila Evans One of the better "teen" comedies. A few farts from fight cast members would make perfect! 4 stars
5/16/04 zxc this movie sucks 2 stars
5/15/04 Jenny is right! Sadistic sex is the worst! But I would have expected EricDSnider to report this film to the Pissing Children's Network 4 stars
5/15/04 Jenny Tullwartz (EricDSnider, please note:) Not all of us find defecation (even occasional vomiting) more gross-out than sadistic sex. 4 stars
5/14/04 Stephanie Throckmorton Best feelgood escapist comedy in years. Enjoyable from start to finish. 5 stars
4/29/04 luke matt damon cameo was great 5 stars
3/18/04 ROY L. CAIN,JR. Likable characters and some cool songs. "SCOTTY DOESN'T KNOW!" 5 stars
3/16/04 alex you got mail madafaka.. I almost pissed my pants :)This Movie is funnier then Amer. Pie 1,2 4 stars
3/06/04 FrayLo While somewhat predictable, it was still funny and worth seeing. 4 stars
3/02/04 A F Kyle, why did you see it then? Funny, nice to see something less serious! 4 stars
2/29/04 chris Quite funny - laughed soooo hard 4 stars
2/29/04 actionjackson2099 I thought it was good movie just a step down from Old School and Roadtrip. 4 stars
2/27/04 Kyle Fuck you people. Sucked ass, just like I knew it would. 1 stars
2/25/04 Angolmois Had some chuckles, but not when it was trying to be funny. 2 stars
2/25/04 susan lee totally sucked 1 stars
2/24/04 Star Piss your pants funny!!! 5 stars
2/24/04 Bullshit Detector Surprisingly unfunny , predictable, and lame movie. How'd it get made? 1 stars
2/23/04 josh garbe An amazing movie! My favorite! 5 stars
2/22/04 Greg R. Very good. New stars acquit themselves very well, especially the actor playing Cooper. 4 stars
2/22/04 Igor If you don't take everything so seriously you will laugh your ass off. 5 stars
2/22/04 Paul It was funny as hell 5 stars
2/22/04 Julie Wenders the movie never takes off, only to be held back by all its cheap juvenile antics. 2 stars
2/21/04 Clay Rains Pretty typical and predictable. 2 stars
2/21/04 jdogg Watch Dawn from Buffy mumble through her nose for 90 minutes? Wish I'd said no, thanks. 1 stars
2/21/04 Denise Duspiva Funny 4 stars
2/20/04 KingNeutron Some parts were just WRONG; but on the whole, funny. Lucy L could have done better. 4 stars
2/20/04 nick oswaldo has it moments (the others arent bad either) 3 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  20-Feb-2004 (R)
  DVD: 01-Mar-2011

UK
  30-Apr-2004 (15)

Australia
  12-Aug-2004 (MA)




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